Buffy climbed in and frowned as Angel climbed in next to her. She had hoped he would choose the seat across from her but no such luck. She found herself taking a whiff and smelling Angel’s smell and not Spike’s. He smelt of some kind of cologne where Spike had always smelled of whiskey, blood and cigarettes. She missed that smell and had tried to smoke herself near the duster in hopes of it wearing off but instead she had only managed to find herself puking and feeling grossed out. The smell was all wrong and it resulted in a night of crying realizing he really was gone. She sat up a little straighter trying to not appear lost in her thoughts as she heard Angel talking to her, “So did you buy some items for the others today?”
Buffy smiled, thankful for the change of topic, “Oh yeah. I bought some for Dawn. Dawnie and I never get to shop anymore so I found some summer outfits she will just love plus shoes and jewelry. She wanted to come you know? She is in school for another few weeks. With finals being only 2 weeks away, I couldn’t see bringing her and ruining her grades. She is getting straight A’s and doing great. I think Sp…” She trailed off. She had been about to say Spike’s death but instead changed her words, “I think Sunnydale’s fall really motivated Dawn to do something good with her life. She is growing up so fast. You’d hardly recognize her now. She’s taller and is getting curves. Sometimes when she smiles she doesn’t even look like my mom or dad and I wonder just how she was made because she doesn’t look like me either. Her higher cheekbones and that twinkle in her eye…” She trailed off again because sometimes she could swear when she looked at Dawn she saw parts of Spike in her. The twinkle in her eye and the high cheekbones were traits of Spike along with the way she could cock her head to the side and glance at her with those eyes so powerful it made her want to spill all her secrets. Buffy knew Dawn was part of herself though and perhaps she had just been picking up his traits having spent so much time with him when she was dead.
Angel spoke up breaking her thoughts, “So what really brought you to L.A.?” Buffy turned to face him, “You. You needed help and the gang didn’t feel comfortable sending in the young slayers without knowing what they were up against. They didn’t want to have something bad happen since I guess Wolfram and Hart are powerful people.” Angel nodded, “Very powerful indeed which is why my goal is so important. With this little job, it would put a stop to so many activities because they would have to focus on rebuilding rather than keeping the place evil. It would allow your slayers to have time to do some real good in the world.”
Buffy sighed, “They are already doing good in the world. Slayers even protect the United States government as well as various royal parties across the world. They also are policemen, involved in other law enforcement as well as bodyguards. They have become real members of the society and the way slayers had been viewed now has been changed. They no longer have to be alone to fight but instead can form communities and be normal citizens of various countries. It’s really something great to be a part of and so important.”
Angel watched her as she talked and Buffy felt a little self-conscious as she stopped talking resting her once moving hands, on her lap. Angel smiled, “I’m really glad you found your purpose Buffy. You seemed so lost when I saw you in Sunnydale last time.” Buffy blinked, “I wasn’t lost. I knew exactly what I had to do and what the others around me had to do. Everyone in Sunnydale was part of the close the Hellmouth and save the world mission. Even Spike was…” She paused blinking the tears away, “You just didn’t like that you couldn’t be a part of it but I had a full ship already. I’m sorry but I wasn’t lost.” Angel grew quiet as the limo came to a stop. Troy opened the doors allowing both of them to step out. Buffy glanced at the large building. It appeared completely devoid of any action and almost as though it was a dump. She glanced questioningly at Angel who quickly explained, “It’s a demon establishment. It’s by invitation only. Those who know about it, know the outside is just a decoy for what is really on the inside, a wonderful booming fancy restaurant. To normal folks who pass by, it appears like a dump. It works.” Buffy nodded as she was led inside.
She was eating her chicken Parmesan while couples around them danced. She missed dancing in a way. She had tried a few dance clubs in England but it was vastly different than the Bronze and it had made her long for the simple comfort of the Bronze. The ones in England seemed to be filled with loud headache creating music, flashing lights that made her dizzy, and people bumping into her and treating her like she was something to be ogled. She sighed gently as Angel stayed silent drinking his second glass of blood. She longed for something better, something different. She wished for the third time of that day that Dawn was there filling the silence with her happy, bouncing voice, making the world a better place to be in. She was thankful that the monks had sent Dawn into her life. Dawn had given Buffy joy that she could never express. She had been given a sister who loved her no matter what and who she loved no matter what. Dawn was filled with a happy spirit that, although she shed her own amount of tears, it was always there guiding her actions. She could walk into a room filled with tears and make it into a happy occasion where everyone was laughing at her jokes and stories.
Angel chose that moment to ask, “What are you thinking about?” Buffy spoke honestly, “How different my life is. I was thinking of Dawn and how life was before Dawn based on what I could remember and how different it is now with Dawn. I know my memories mostly have Dawn in them, but I can’t imagine my life without her. She’s always so happy and bouncy that it grows on you. She has this uncanny ability to walk into a sorrow-filled room and fill it with something better, joy or at least laughter. I was thinking how lucky I was to have such a sister in my life.”
Angel smiled at her and nodded, “Yeah, she never liked me though.” Buffy laughed pushing her plate away. She couldn’t eat anymore and although she hadn’t eaten much, it was more than she had eaten in a while. “Well I can’t think of any boyfriends of mine she liked except Spike and that fluctuated a lot.” She frowned, looking down at her plate, as she picked up her glass of water and twirled it around in her hand. Angel was silent as the name heavily filled the air. He then changed the subject, “So have you decided what you will do with the slayers?” Buffy glanced up at him, “No I haven’t had a lot of time to think about it actually. I want to learn more about things. I want to learn what you stand to gain and what we stand to gain other than creating trouble for the people who have the ability to ruin my life. Is it really a battle we can win Angel?”
Angel stared at her and stayed quiet as the waiter took away their plates leaving behind the check. As soon as the waiter was out of sight and earshot he admitted, “I don’t think this is a win or lose battle. This is just a battle for the greater good. It will just make it so that the world isn’t so tipped towards evil.” Buffy watched as the waiter again returned taking away Angel’s credit card and then she leaned over the table moving the glass so she wouldn’t knock it over, “Then what’s the point? If you will die for nothing what is the point?” Angel looked away from her towards the couples dancing. He knew it wouldn’t be a battle to affect them at all. It wouldn’t really affect the slayers or even the outside world. It would only affect the evil law firm. It might make there be a few less lawyers to represent the world but again that was even iffy. Why was he doing it? He looked back at Buffy and muttered, “I don’t know but I will know. Ask me again tomorrow after I talk to the gang.” Buffy stood up as the waiter returned handing Angel back his credit card, “Let me know and then I’ll make a decision.” Angel nodded and led her out of the place.