Author's Chapter Notes:
Posted TWO CHAPTERS today - make sure you read 37 first!

Betad and banner by dawnofme
Chapter Thirty-Eight



“What happened?” Buffy somehow managed to glare at the two Initiative men and glance tenderly at Spike all at the same time, as she climbed in the transporter.



“We need to go! They’ll find us.” Riley tugged at his restraints. “The transporter has a tracking device.”



Buffy’s fist connected with a sickening crunch on Riley’s nose. “You really don’t get the concept of magic, do you? Willow might tell you how she hides stuff, but first I want to know what the hell happened to Spike.”



Spike drew himself into an even tighter ball at the raised voices.



Buffy softened her voice. “Hey…hey…it’s okay. I’m here now. Everything’s going to be alright.”



A wet snort came from Riley as she spoke. Buffy clenched her fist, but resisted hitting him again because she knew how stupid the words sounded. “What did you say to him?”



“Nothing. I swear!” Riley inclined his head – the blood dripping from his nose spattering on his pants – towards Willow who was still standing outside of the transporter. “She put Mark in the seat and disappeared and it…er…he…sorted of started to laugh and then…well, he went like that.”



“Can you drive this, Will?” asked Buffy, not taking her eyes off Spike.



“Sure.”



Willow climbed in and slammed the door shut. As the witch got the vehicle moving, Buffy hunkered down next to Spike, wary of touching him, but knowing he needed to be grounded.



“Spike, baby.”



Her fingertips ghosted Spike’s shoulder and he raised his head but avoided her eyes, mumbling something she couldn’t catch. Leaning in, she kissed his forehead.



“What was that?”



“Said I’m useless.”



“No, no you’re not.” She wrapped her arms around him and gave a small sigh of relief that he shifted closer to her and not away.



“I am. I should have gone in there, not you.”



“It doesn’t matter who went in. We’ve got what we need. Come on, sit up.” She put a hand on his elbow and encouraged him to move from the floor. Neither Buffy nor the men missed the fact that he wouldn’t look in their direction at all.



Buffy sat in the seat next to Spike and squeezed his hand tightly. He glanced at her with a hint of a smile then stared out of the front window of the transporter. Watching him for a moment, she realised just how tense he was. Hardly surprising when he was sharing a vehicle with two members of the organisation that had treated him so cruelly for years.



She gripped his hand harder, and when he looked at her, Buffy smiled and said, “I love you.”



This time his smile although still shaky was more than a hint. “I know you do, pet.”



Tears pricked at Buffy’s eyes. She’d always worried that he didn’t really believe her. He twisted in his seat until he faced her, reached out with his free hand and lightly traced the line of her jaw.



“You’re everything to me.” His softly spoken words didn’t carry beyond the ears they were intended for.



Buffy wished not for the first time that she could have seen the expression in the eyes that nature had given him. From their few encounters years ago, she knew just how much emotion could flash in those eyes. As if guessing her thoughts, Spike dipped his head and closed his eyes briefly.



“Er…lady?”



Mark’s tentative voice came from behind them, and Spike gritted his teeth at the sound.



“What?” Buffy’s voice was a growl Spike could be been proud of.



“What are you going to do to me?”



“Fucking kill you if I have anything to do with it,” Spike said before Buffy could answer, his body taut as piano wire.



“Do it…please.” Mark began to sob. “Please just kill me…I can’t…I can’t live like this.” His fingers fluttered in the direction of his groin. “What that…that thing did to me…” His voice trailed away as he began to sob in earnest.



The effect on Spike was so dramatic that Buffy was too startled to react. He leapt over the seat and had his hand on Mark’s throat in the blink of an eye.



“You can’t live like that? Take a fucking look at me!” He shifted his metal thumb so it dug into the man’s throat. “You have no right to fucking complain. You were a part of what happened to me – you bleeding enjoyed hurting me!”



“But,” Mark managed to rasp out. “You’re—”



“I wouldn’t complete that sentence, unless you really do have a death wish,” Buffy said cheerfully, delighted to see Spike facing his demons, for want of a better word.



Mark nodded. “Do it.” He reared his head back, inviting the bite.



Spike vamped out and leaned forwards until his fangs grazed the man’s throat.



“Buffy…” Willow glanced over her shoulder, turning her attention back to the road when she saw her friend shake her head at her.



Breathing heavily, Spike shifted his features and moved away from Mark. “You know what? You’re just not worth it. You deserve to live like that. I’m stuck with these,” he gestured at his eyes, “for sodding ever! You controlled my genitals for years. You were even there when they fucking tattooed my prick. I think not being able to shag is fucking poetic justice. Only no one will know – you can hide your lack of bollocks in your pants. I have to walk around like this – like the freak you made me!”



“You’re a vampire, for Christ’s sake!” Riley couldn’t keep from shouting it out.



Spike’s hand stilled Buffy’s reaction. “It’s okay, love. He’s right.”



“How can you say that?” Buffy’s anger fell on Spike.



“It’s true, that’s why. I am a vampire. I have fed and killed. But I don’t think these fuckers have an idea what it’s like to actually be a vampire.” He stared at Riley. “It wasn’t my idea. My poncy little Victorian self got accosted by a vamp and the next thing I knew I was clawing my way out of a makeshift grave.” Spike gave a smirk that made Buffy smile. “But don’t get me wrong…I had a hell of a good time for over a century.”



The vehicle shimmied a little as Willow tried to look over her shoulder at him. She met Buffy’s eyes and smiled. Spike was going to be all right.



“We haven’t answered Mark’s question yet, Buffy,” Willow said. “Why don’t you put him out of his misery?”



“Spike?” Buffy said. “You know how you said he could hide what’s happened to him in his pants?”



“Yeah?”



“We haven’t really told you our plans, have we?”



Spike shook his head and frowned.



“We needed a way to make sure the Initiative is closed down and we weren’t convinced that the cruelty to vampires would be enough, so Mark here is going to be the poster boy on our campaign to discredit the place.”



“No!”



Buffy ignored Mark’s outburst.



“So it won’t matter whether he has his pants on or not, honey, because soon the world will know what has happened to him.”



“I won’t do it!” Mark’s voice was shrill.



Willow chuckled. “Oh sweetie, you really don’t understand just what a bit of magic can make you do.”



Riley tugged ineffectively at his shackles and joined Mark in his protestation. “You can’t do this! We’re humans!”



Eyes narrowing, Buffy said, “And you’re more evil than most of the demons that walk the earth. Now you can redeem yourself for all that you’ve done – or Willow will make you tell what you’ve done. That’s the only choice you have. Help us willingly or be compelled to, doesn’t matter which.”



Spike grinned as the colour drained from both the men’s faces. The only time they spoke for the rest of the journey was when Mark yelled at Riley not to stare at his groin.



“We’re almost there, Buffy,” Willow said. “You’d better call the house to let them know.”



Buffy spoke briefly to Craig, and soon Willow pulled the vehicle into the driveway of the safehouse. Maurice stood next to Craig as the side door to the transporter, slid open. Mark and Riley’s eyes widened as they were faced with the barrel of a gun pointing towards them.



“Thought we might need something to make them behave themselves,” said Maurice with a wink.



Soon, the humans were locked in the cage and all but Dora stared at them; she’d remained in one of the bedrooms with Gunn. Spike had been the one to give Mark some pants to wear. Cam had tried to stop Spike doing it, his emotions at facing the man who crippled him were much the same as Spike’s had been earlier. Leaning unsteadily on his two sticks, fearing that he would get no better, Cameron would cheerfully have seen the man dead for his sins.



“Come on, Cam,” Spike said gently. “Let’s leave them alone until the reporter gets here in the morning.”



Reluctantly, Cam turned from the cage and painfully made his way to the elevator, still unable to manage the stairs without difficulty. Spike opted to accompany him, leaving the others to go up the steps.



“How could you give him the pants, Spike? Why give him that dignity? He’d never do that for you.”



“That’s precisely why I did it.”



“I don’t understand.”



Spike waited to reply until they’d exited the elevator and walked the short distance to the living room. Seeing they were alone in the room, Spike helped Cam to a chair and then hunkered down in front of him.



“Don’t get me wrong. I’ve done more than my share of bad, and enjoyed it too. But the demon in me demanded to have its way, and I didn’t know enough – or care enough – to try to stop it. Angelus encouraged me to give it free rein, and it wasn’t until I saw just how far he’d go that I really began to question the way of life we led.”



He stood up and perched on the arm of the chair Cam was sitting in and gave a slight shudder as he put his thumb-less hand on his metal kneecap before continuing.



“Angelus was willing to end the world just to have some fun.”



Cam looked up at him. “That’s when you helped Mom, isn’t it?”



“Yeah. Like I said back then, I like this world.” He ruffled Cam’s hair. “I told her how I liked all the walking happy meals. Not sure why she didn’t punch me for that.”



The pair shared a grin before their expressions sobered.



“Once free from Angelus, I did things a bit differently. I still had to feed and didn’t even think of animal blood as a substitute, but I was a bit more selective in the victims I chose.” Spike fell silent for a moment as his thoughts drifted to Drusilla. “Then I made the mistake of going back to Sunnydale.”



“Why did you go there, knowing the slayer lived there?”



Spike glanced down at Cam. “Honestly?”



Cam nodded.



“I’d thought about your Mom a lot since that day. It was why Dru left me. I guess I couldn’t stay away. But the bastards at the Initiative nabbed me almost as soon as my feet touched Sunnydale soil. The next time I saw your Mum was when I was tracking a vamp that turned out to be Dru and your Mum came in and dusted her.” He swallowed hard at the memory. “She told me later that it’d been about fifteen years since I’d been captured. Fifteen years…doesn’t sound a lot when you think how long I’ve lived but…” Spike raised his hands up and stared at them. “It felt like forever.”



“So I say again. Why did you give Mark the pants? He should die a slow painful death.”



“But can’t you see? That would make you as bad as him. In all the bad I’ve done in my time, I was never like them – I didn’t fucking experiment with my food.” His face suddenly split in to a broad smile. “Though I did play with it a bit.”



“Spike!”



Cam shoved Spike, who pretended to fall off the chair arm. He lay on his back enjoying seeing the boy laugh.



“Vampire, yeah? It’s just my nature! Mind you, the soul wouldn’t be happy if I did it now.”



He climbed on to the sofa and let his head lean against the back of it.



“All of them in the Initiative have souls and they still did this to us,” said Cam, his voice cracking with emotion.



“I know. They’re evil bastards with no excuse. But we’re better than them. If we’re going to shut the place down, Buffy’s right – we can’t do it by force. The plan she came up to with Willow just might work.”



Spike glanced at Cam, who shook his head. “I still want to kill them.”



The corners of Spike’s mouth curled upwards. “Me too…but we need to do it this way. Death’s too easy for them. Do you want a hand to get to bed? Tomorrow’s a big day.”



“Okay.” Cam was relieved at Spike’s offer. The one place he didn’t want to go was to see Gunn again, because that made him think of Lilah and that made him feel sick.



Scooping Cam up as if he was a small child, Spike carried him to the bedroom he shared with Craig and put him down on the bed.



“Do you want me to bring you some of the blood-laced soup?”



“The souped up soup!” Cam chuckled. “It’s all gone, but thanks anyway.”



Spike raised his wrist to his mouth and bit into the flesh, nicking the vein. “How about drinking it neat?” He held out his wrist.



“Eww! No way.” The boy screwed up his face.



“Try it. Your body needs it – it won’t taste bad.” Spike sat on the bed and offered the wrist to Cam.



Cam looked at him doubtfully, then shrugged and gripped Spike’s wrist. Spike grinned as Cam’s tongue tickled him and then laughed as after that first tentative lick, Cam latched onto his arm and suckled hungrily at the wound.



After a few minutes, Cam stopped feeding as the pain began to rip through him.



They wriggled on the bed until Spike was sitting with his back against the headboard, and he stroked Cam’s back, as he trembled and cried out in pain. Unbidden, Spike’s fangs dropped, and he itched to slice them into Mark’s throat for putting Cam through this.



They’d know by the end of the day tomorrow whether their plan to expose the Initiative had worked or not.





Chapter End Notes:
I posted two chapters today - make sure you read both! :D



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