Spike, now well used to the layout of Sandar, didn’t take hold of Buffy’s elbow but took her left hand in his right and led her towards the entrance to the garden.  A smile played on his lips as she squeezed it.  This was how it should be… holding her hand and taking her somewhere she didn’t know.  Even the tap of the cane as he used it to ensure he walked in a straight line didn’t detract from the good feeling it gave.

“You seem happier than you were earlier in the week,” said Buffy as she walked along.

“Yeah…well…”  Spike resisted the urge to pull her into his arms and let her feel just how much happier he was.  “Just needed to settle in, I guess.”

“So, do you get along with your roommate?”

Spike nodded.  “Yeah, he’s okay. Doesn’t say much, really.”

“Are the others all okay?  You never talk about them when I call.”

“That’s ‘cause I want to hear about you, not them.”

The murmur of conversation reached them.

“Nearly there.  Sounds like the door’s open,” Spike said.

“Yes, it is.”  Buffy hesitated, suddenly nervous.  “Uh…I hope I look alright.”

Spike snorted.  “You’re meeting a bunch of blind people – I’m sure you look gorgeous, but doubt it’ll matter too much.”

She blushed furiously.  “God, I can’t believe I just said that!  But in my defence, there will be others here, and I want…I want you to be proud of me.”

Cocking his head as he turned his face to hers, he wished fervently that he could see her.  His voice sounded a little hoarse as he said, “I’ll always be proud of you, Buffy.”

She leaned in and kissed him gently on the cheek.  “Let’s go mingle, then.”

“Okay.”  He stepped through the doorway and onto the patio, his grip on her hand tightening as he could feel the attention moving their way.

“Welcome to Sandar Lodge. You must be Buffy.  I’m Fred, the manager.  I trust you found us okay?”  Fred held out her hand and smiled kindly.

“Yes, great directions.  Thank you.” Buffy shook her hand.

“Now that you’re here, we’ll get the introductions out of the way.”  Fred walked a few steps away and clapped her hands.  “Hello everybody, I hope you can all hear me.”

Spike moved his hand to Buffy’s elbow and whispered in her ear.  “Take us somewhere near the back, yeah?”

“Okay.”  She led them deeper into the garden as Fred continued to speak.

“Firstly, let me thank you all for coming today. I know those staying with us have really looked forward to having friends and relatives come to visit.  Every new intake brings new challenges for us as a facility and the pleasure I get when the course is over and they leave with their confidence is high off the scale.  But I couldn’t spend as much time here as I do without the support of my wonderful husband, Wesley.”

She beckoned at a tall slim man dressed incongruously, for a barbeque, in a light grey suit. 

“Come and say hello, darling.”

A ragged burst of applause rang out as Wesley smiled and stepped up to stand beside his wife.

“Hello, everyone.  I hope you have a lovely afternoon.  I hope to be able to have a chat with you all before I leave as I have heard so much about you from Fred.  I especially want to meet with my fellow countryman, Spike. Well, that’s enough speechifying.  I think the food will be served shortly.  Enjoy.”

Fred grabbed his hand and squeezed it, smiling at him and mouthing ‘thank you.”.

People began to spread out a little and a voice rang out close to Spike that made his heart drop to his boots.  Ted.

“Well, well…you never said she was such a little beauty.”

“Spike?”  Buffy frowned. 

“Uh…Buffy, meet Ted. He’s in the program.”

“But, if he’s—”

“My vision is impaired enough for me to be categorised as blind.  I have Best’s Disease, but I can see well enough with peripheral vision to notice how pretty you are.”

“Thanks.” Buffy shifted uncomfortably as the man leered in her direction. 

“And I can tell when your boyfriend here makes a mess at dinner, this one time he—”

“Buffy, I want you to meet Riley.”  Spike grabbed at her elbow with such force she winced.

Ted said, “But I want to tell—”

“Piss off.” 

Spike strode forward, bumping into Ted and half dragging Buffy rather than letting her lead him. 

“Nice guy.”  Buffy’s voice was laced with sarcasm.

“Yeah.  Hate the git.  Just needed to get away before I tried to punch him.”

“It’s okay.  There’s always at least one jerk wherever you go.” 

Buffy rubbed Spike’s arm, but she could tell he’d lost his earlier good humour.  He stopped, listened intently and then turned to the right. 

“Riley’s over here, I can hear him.  Can you see anyone that looks like he was a soldier?”

She scanned over the people in that direction, her eyes coming to rest on a man standing with his back to her.

“I guess the really tall guy could be him.  Got his back to us though.  Talking to Fred.”

“That’ll be him.  He’s bloody enormous.  We bumped into each other one time, I swear my head only hit his sodding belly.”

Chuckling, Buffy guided Spike towards them.  Fred smiled as they approached.

“Hello, Spike.  Buffy.  I’ll just go check where that food is.”

“Spike?”  Riley turned around, his mirrored shades glinting in the sun.  “I hope you’re going to introduce me properly.”

“Sure.  This is my girlfriend,” Spike’s smile got broader as he said it, “Buffy Summers.  Buffy, this is my roomie, Riley Finn.”

Riley held out his hand for Buffy to shake.

“Pleased to meet you, Riley.”

“Nice to meet you finally, Spike talks about you all the time.”

“Hey, I do not!”  Spike said, his voice full of humour.

Smiling broadly, Riley added, “Maybe not all the time – just a lot of the time.”

“Glad to hear it.”  Buffy leaned over and dropped a kiss on Spike’s cheek. 

She glanced around the gathering as the two men chatted, noticing that about half of the people on the program sported dark glasses.  She realised how lucky Spike was in having no outward sign of the damage to his sight. 

Deciding she’d better join in the conversation, she craned her head back to look at Riley and said, “So where are you from?”

“Iowa.  But haven’t been back in a while.  Was serving in Afghanistan when…”  He gestured to his face.  “Been in hospital and the rehab centres until I came here.”

“Gosh, that must be awful.  Didn’t you just want to go home?”

Shrugging his shoulders, Riley shook his head.  “Not really anything to go home for.”

“I’m sorry.”

Riley took a deep breath.  “Don’t be.  I’m sorry for bringing the mood down.”

“It’s alright, mate,” said Spike.  “I know where you’re coming from.”

Buffy put a hand on both Riley and Spike’s arms.  “We need to get this party started!  Why is there no music?”

“Don’t think it’s that type of party, Buff,” said Spike.

“Thank God for that,” Riley said.  “Makes me break out in a sweat at the thought of dancing and that includes before…  Being so tall, I was never the lightest on my feet.”

They all laughed.  Riley rubbed a hand over his face, dislodging his sunglasses.  He bent to try to find them, but Buffy was too quick.

“I’ll get them.”  She plucked them from the ground and stood up, reaching out to find his hand with hers.  “Here you are…”

“Thanks.” 

Riley ducked his head, but it was too late, she’d seen what had previously been hidden and her heart lurched with sympathy for him.

“No problem.”

Scowling, Spike put a hand on the small of her back.  Her voice sounded thin and tight.  “You okay, love?”

“Of course I’m okay!”  Now her voice was a little too bright.  “Er…”

“It’s okay, Buffy.  I know how I must look.”

“Riley, I didn’t mean—”

“Don’t sweat it.  Look, I’ll leave you to it.  I think the food’s coming.”  Riley jabbed the sunglasses back on as he abruptly turned away and walked towards the patio.

“What’s going on, Buffy?” asked Spike as Riley’s footsteps faded.

“I’m sorry…it just took me by surprise.”

“What did?”

“There’s a bench over there, let’s go sit on it.”

Puzzled and beginning to feel a little angry at her reaction to the man he’d begun to consider a friend, Spike allowed her to guide him to the seat.

“Come on.  Tell me.”  His fingers found her thigh and he kept them there.

“I feel so bad for him.  Behaving like that.  God, I’m an awful person.”

“Buffy…?”

She turned to stare at Spike.  “You don’t know.  No one has told you, have they?”

“Told me what?”  Spike’s frown cleared as understanding dawned.  “Oh.  He was injured in an attack.  Is he scarred?”

Putting her hand over Spike’s she shifted closer to him.  “He is scarred, but Spike, he has lost his eyes.”

“Shite…the poor bastard.  He said his girlfriend left him ‘cause she couldn’t deal…”

“And I go and act like an insensitive bitch.”

“Hey.  You didn’t mean it.”

“Doesn’t make it any nicer for him, does it?  That I didn’t mean it.” 

She turned to see where Riley had gone and spotted him talking with Wesley, but his whole demeanour told her that he was just waiting for the chance to escape.

“Hasn’t anyone come to visit with him today?” she asked.

Spike shook his head.  “No.  He said his family were too far away to come.”

“I’ll go get us some food.  Be right back.”

“Buffy, I not really…very hungry,” he said into empty air as she strode across the garden. 

He closed his eyes, trying unsuccessfully not to imagine the pain that Riley must have gone through.

Wesley was moving away from Riley as Buffy got to them and the former soldier stepped towards the door. 

“Riley.” 

Buffy put her hand on his arm, an act that usually prompted Spike to turn his face towards her, but Riley’s shoulders hunched and he dipped his head. 

“Look, you already apologised.  I just need to—”

“Have something to eat with us.”  She increased the grip on his arm. “Please?”

“Sure you won’t lose your appetite?” 

The bitter tone brought a tear to Buffy’s eye.  “I deserved that, I guess.  But I meant it.  Please join us for something to eat.”

She could see him trying to decide how to get away without actually prising her fingers off his arm.

“Please.  I’d like you to.  Spike would like you to.”

“I don’t need your pity.”

“God you sound just like Spike!  It’s not pity! I know Spike’s stay here is better because of you being his roomie, so let me get to know you over some ribs.”

Still the man hesitated, but finally with a sigh he nodded and allowed her to lead him back to Spike.

“Now you two stay there while I get the food.” 

As she left, Riley sat beside Spike and said, “Is she always like this?”

“What?  Bossy?  Pretty much.”  After an uncomfortable silence, he reached out and found Riley’s shoulder.  “I’m really sorry, mate.”

Riley stiffened under his touch.  “You knew I was totally blind already.  Don’t need your sympathy because I look like a freaking monster.” 

“Don’t say that!”  Buffy’s strident voice made both men jump.  She cupped Riley’s face with her hands.  “You are a hero, who has been injured in the line of duty for his country.  You are not a monster.”

“But my face…”  Riley’s voice hitched, and Buffy gritted her teeth that her own initial reaction had caused this.

“I won’t lie to you, Riley.  I was a little shocked and I’m sorry for upsetting you.  But please don’t think of yourself that way.”

Riley sat up straighter, moving his face away from her hands.  “I’ll just—”

“Bit of advice, Ri.  Just shut up and stay where you are.  She’ll not stop until you do as she says.  I should know.” He grinned in what he hoped was Buffy’s direction.  “And do I smell fried onions?”

“Yes, I came back with your food.”  She bent to pick up the plates from the grass.  “Here you are.  Riley, I’ll understand if you’d rather I didn’t stay here.  I can leave you just with Spike if you like?”

“No,” Riley’s voice was resigned.  “That’s fine.  A woman who brings me burgers can’t be all bad, eh?”

The laughter they shared helped to make the awkwardness pass.

*~*~*~*

Little escaped the eagle eyes of the staff of Sandar Lodge.  It was their job to identify exactly what each person on the program struggled with and help them deal with it.  With Spike, eating with the others still appeared to be an ordeal despite the advice he’d been given on how to avoid making a mess.  Otherwise, Spike’s progress was good.  The kitchen they used in training became familiar to him and he’d managed to prepare simple dishes.

So when Fred asked Spike to come to her office before dinner, she knew that she wasn’t going to be popular.

“No way!”  Spike got up from the chair.  “Thanks for your help with stuff, but this…this…”  He threw his arms up in air.

“Is that a no then?” 

Fred’s amused tone had Spike scowling furiously.  “Damn right, it’s a bloody no.”  He snatched at the door handle, all but growling when he missed it and had to fumble until he found it.

“Shame,” she said, as he opened the door.  “I suppose Buffy won’t mind eating alone.”

“What?”

“Oh?  I’m sorry; did you think that I wanted to dine with you tonight?”

Spike nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

“Surely you realise that I know you quite well by now?”  Fred laughed softly.  “I know that dinner with me wouldn’t be enough to make you accept the challenge, so I called Buffy and she was happy to stand in for me.”

“Crafty sod.” 

“Perhaps I am.  Are you going to let Buffy eat alone, or will you be ready when the car picks you up in an hour?”

Squeezing his eyes shut and counting to ten in his mind, Spike sighed and said, “I’ll be ready.”

“Thank you.”

“Hmmph.”  Spike closed the door with a bang and stomped up to his bedroom, knowing he’d been played.

“Hey, what did Fred want?  Is everything okay?” His roommate said.

“I’m going out to dinner.”  Spike threw his cane on the bed.  “Car’s coming in an hour.”

“I’m sensing you’re not happy about this?”  Riley tried to make his voice serious but didn’t quite manage it.

“Don’t you bloody take the piss.”  Spike joined his cane on the bed.  “She’s arranged for Buffy to go to a restaurant and if I don’t show…”

“She sits there on her own.”

“Exactly.”

“Clever.”

“Yeah, the bloody cow.”

“But you know she’s right, don’t you?  The only reason you can’t eat out is what’s going on in your head.”

“Don’t start.  I thought you were my mate.”

Riley laughed.  “Stop worrying about it and get ready to go on a date with your girl.”

An awkward little silence was broken by Spike announcing that he was going for a shower.  Once under the flow of water, Spike cursed himself under his breath for being such a coward when Riley had to face his new life knowing his girlfriend had left him because of his injuries.

Riley had gone down to dinner by the time Spike emerged from the bathroom,  his still damp hair slicked back from his forehead as he’d tamed the curls with gel.  The jeans were always going to be black, but Spike felt at the labels in his shirts to find a blue one.

By the time he climbed into the car that was to take him to the restaurant, his heart was pounding in his chest.  Was it because of the ordeal he had to face, or was it because the chauffeur had told him that the restaurant was in a well known hotel and that Fred had also booked them a room for the night?  Apart from a few stolen kisses at the barbeque and on her subsequent weekly visits, they’d had no opportunity to spend time alone.

“We’re here, sir,” the chauffeur said after about thirty minutes. “I’ll take you to your table.”

Spike muttered his thanks as he took the man’s arm and allowed him to lead him inside.  No matter what he said during sessions of the course, he found this reliance on others almost impossible to handle.

They paused for a moment before a haughty male voice asked if they had a table. 

“Uh…I do.  Name of Pratt.”

“Your guest is already seated, sir.  It’s just this way.”

Spike gritted his teeth as the chauffeur continued to guide him along.

“Spike!  You made it!”  Buffy said when she saw him approaching.

Once her arms wrapped around him, he forgot about anything but being with her.  He buried his face in her hair, breathing in the fresh scent of her shampoo. 

“Did you think I wouldn’t come?” he whispered against her ear.

“I knew you would.”

The two men melted away like the professionals they were, leaving the couple to their greeting.