“Morning, sweetie!” His mother burst into the room as fresh as a daisy despite her late night. “Did that nurse look after you okay? He looks a little odd, and was well recommended, but if—”
“Mum!” Spike rubbed a hand over his face and shifted until he was sitting up. “He was fine.”
“What’s this doing here?” The guitar gave out a twang as she picked it up.
“Leave it.” Spike’s firm tone was enough to make her pause.
“Did you go to get this? How could he let—”
“Jesus! I asked him to get it, okay? I need something to do, Mum. I’m going out of my mind. I can still play the guitar. I can’t do much else, but I can do that.”
“Hmm…Well, if it keeps you happy.”
Spike wasn’t so sure it could be termed as happy, but it let him forget for a while the limitations that his blindness put on him.
“So…did you have a good time?”
The bed sank as she sat on it and patted his knee. “Oh, darling it was wonderful! We raised so much money and we even had a retired senator there. Such a shame your father—”
“Stepfather.”
“Don’t be mean. Such a shame that he couldn’t be there. He’ll be home at the weekend. Won’t it be great? We’ll be like a family again.” She dropped a kiss on Spike’s head. “I missed you when you stopped coming to see me.”
Spike felt a momentary pang, but couldn’t help but mutter a little bitterly, “Yeah, well, I’m making up for it now, aren’t I? Here to stay.”
“It’s always been your home, William.” She gave him a hug. “Now get out of bed, lazybones, and I’ll get cook to bring your breakfast in.
“Okay.”
She left in her usual whirlwind, leaving the door open. Spike sighed and pushed the covers back. Since he’d been home she hadn’t eaten one meal with him, instead insisting that his meals were brought to him. Spike was sure that she didn’t want to see him fumbling to find the food on the plate like he had in hospital.
Just after he’d dressed in the sweatpants and t-shirt his mother had bought him, the cook arrived with his breakfast tray.
“Morning, Spike. How are you today?”
“I’m fine thanks, Lottie. What have I got?”
“Bacon sandwiches, with plenty of ketchup, and a cup of tea. How does that sound?”
“Perfect.” He smiled.
Lottie seemed to pick up on his embarrassment at finding food a little difficult to deal with and consequently as much as possible made it things he could pick up with his fingers.
“I’ll come back for the tray later. It’s just on the table near your chair, is that alright?”
“Great, thanks.”
After his breakfast, Spike spent most of the day playing his guitar, making time pass quicker than it ever had seemed to before. When his mother came to get him for his walk, he insisted on holding her arm, not the other way around and could move with more confidence, although he still didn’t trust her as much as he had Oz.
*~*~*~*
Spike’s stepfather arrived home on Friday night after Spike had retired to his bedroom. He tapped at the bedroom door and waited for Spike to give him permission to enter.
“Spike…I’m so sorry that I wasn’t here when you were allowed home.”
“’S okay.”
“So…” The older man crossed the room and sat in the squeaky leather chair that Oz had used. “How are you…really?”
Spike turned his face in the direction of the voice. “Well…it’s…” He shrugged.
“Yes, quite. Has your mother been…all right? I know how she can be.”
“She’s just Mum, yeah? Can’t help how she is, Rupert.” Spike had forgotten what a decent bloke Rupert Giles actually was.
“No…No, she can’t, but she can be a tad overbearing. You have a home here for as long as you need it, and…” He coughed to cover the emotion that thickened his voice. “If there’s anything you need, anything…just ask.”
With a grin, Spike fumbled on the table for the list Oz had written. “Funny you should say that. I wondered if I could have this stuff? I can pay for it – just there wasn’t any point in asking Mum about it. She switches from liking the drama of having a blind son living with her, to pretending the accident never happened and there’s nothing wrong with me.”
“Spike…that’s not very nice.”
“I know – it’s true though. So will you get them for me?”
“Consider it done.”
The chair creaked as he rose and he put a hand on Spike’s shoulder. “I’m proud of you, and I know your dad would have been too.”
Before Spike could respond, Rupert was gone.
“He’d’ve been prouder if I’d fitted the fucking seatbelts,” he muttered.
*~*~*~*
Oz came over a couple of days after all of Spike’s equipment had arrived.
“Wow,” he said as he cast his eye over the brand new laptop and accessories.
“Cool, huh?” Spike held out his wrist to show his Seiko braille watch. “And I don’t have to leave the sodding radio on all day so I know the time.”
“Good. I met your step-dad. Seems nice.”
“He’s okay. Used to hate him of course for taking Mum off my dad, but it wasn’t his fault I suppose.”
“It’s a nice evening,” said Oz. “Do you want to go sit outside? I’ve brought a couple of beers – they’re in my car.”
“Yeah, great.”
Spike reached out and his fingers unerringly found the retractable cane he’d managed to persuade his mother to let him use. He flicked it out to full length and stood up.
“Had a word with her about moving stuff too. Banned her from touching anything in here.”
“Good for you.”
Oz walked beside him as Spike slowly made his way to the garden. It was clear that he was still unsure of himself, but it was a hell of a lot better that the previous week. Soon the pair was sitting on the patio, sipping bottles of Bud and chatting as easily as old friends.
“Your hair still orange?” asked Spike with a grin.
“Nope. Brown. Very boring. Are you going to bleach yours again?”
Spike ran his hand over his hair. “Needs cutting. Not sure about the bleach job. Doesn’t seem much point.”
“No…not if you never leave here." Oz took the cap off another bottle and passed it to Spike.
“Don’t start…”
“I’ve got the day after tomorrow off. I’ll go with you to get your hair seen to if you like.”
Taking a couple of gulps of beer to give him a bit of time, Spike had to suppress a belch before speaking. “I dunno…I haven’t been anywhere since…”
“Isn’t that a good reason to go now then? You can’t stay here forever. The world’s still out there, Spike. It’s just waiting for you to dive back in.”
“I know I’m just sort of treading water, but I know I’m safe here, yeah? I’m not sure I’m ready.”
Oz’s hand touched Spike’s shoulder briefly. “I understand how you feel, but out there isn’t full of sharks. You can’t live in isolation forever.”
“I know. I know.” Spike rubbed his hand over his face.
“So, we’re on? I’ll get it organised?”
“Christ, you’re a bloody bully, that’s what you are. I’m going to have to report you.”
“I leave no visible marks. They’ll never believe you.”
Spike laughed. “Git!”
“So?”
“Okay.” There was a short silence until Spike spoke again. “Oz, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“What do my eyes…look like?”
“What do you mean?”
“Do they look hideous?” He rubbed a hand through his hair. “Can you tell?” His voice was low.
“Oh…I get you. Your eyes look normal. Not even a bit cloudy. You’ve got a couple of small scars, the worse is on your left eyebrow. To say you hit a brick wall, you’re amazingly scar-free.”
“Was lucky that a cosmetic surgeon was on duty when I came in. Offered to fix me up. Thanks for letting me know. I asked Mum, but…”
“Didn’t realise you were vain.”
Spike could hear the grin in Oz’s voice. “I am not…just nice to know whether people are going to run off screaming at the look of me.”
“Well, they still might, but it won’t be because of the accident.”
“Sod off,” Spike said without heat.
“You’ll be fine, Spike. It won’t be as bad as you think it will be. I’ll make sure you’re okay.”
“Hmm…anyway…what else do you get up to when you’re not being Nurse Osbourne?
It’s was Oz’s turn to complain.
“I told you! Never call me that! Never.”
Pleasantly buzzed by the couple of beers, Spike laughed harder than he had in a long time.
*~*~*~*
“I’m not sure I can do this,” said Spike, when Oz arrived.
“Sure you can.” Oz leaned against the doorway and crossed his arms.
“I’m in fucking sweatpants!”
Oz snorted with laughter. “There was me thinking you were nervous of going out.”
“What? I am. That’s what I’ve just said!”
“No,” said Oz calmly. “You complained about your pants.”
“Same thing.”
Oz shook his head. “It’s not.”
Spike tugged at the baggy leg of his pants. “It bloody is! I can’t go out like this.” He glared in the general direction of the door. “What are you wearing?”
“Jeans and a t-shirt.”
“Exactly!”
“But I don’t own anything other than jeans and the pants for my uniform.”
“You wear a uniform?” Spike smirked a little.
“Only when I work in the hospital. And before you ask, the pants are navy blue and the shirt’s white. Now can we get going?”
“No! I’m still in sodding sweatpants. I’ve got some jeans here, or I did unless Mum’s binned them, but she’s out and I have no clue where they might be.”
“Jeez…you really are a bit vain, aren’t you?” Oz pushed himself off the doorframe and walked towards Spike. “Sit down for a minute, I’ll check out the closets.”
To Spike’s utter relief, Oz found a pair of faded black jeans in a suitcase that had been shoved under the bed. He turned around whilst Spike put them on and chuckled when Spike next spoke.
“What colour’s this t-shirt?”
“Pink.”
“Oh, bloody hell!” Spike tugged it over his head and threw it away, not caring where it might end up.
Oz doubled up laughing.
“Piss off! She’s been treating me like a life-size Ken doll every since I came out of the hospital.”
“I’m sorry…I was joking…it was dark green.”
Spike scowled for a moment longer, before he started to laugh too. “You really are a git. Where is it?”
Oz retrieved the errant shirt and they finally made their way outside. To try to hide his nervousness at leaving the cloistered environment of the large house and grounds, Spike asked what car Oz drove.
“It’s a van. We use it for the band’s stuff when we have a gig.”
“Oh, right.”
Spike shifted from foot to foot as Oz opened the passenger door and then turned to him.
“Here, let me give you a hand. It’s a big step up, okay?”
Not trusting himself to speak, Spike nodded as he climbed into the van.
I can do it. It’s only a bloody hair cut.
His heart beat so hard that he could hear it in his ears, and he gripped the edge of the seat hard enough to make his knuckles white.
“Seatbelt,” said Oz.
“Huh?”
“You need to fasten your belt.”
“Oh right.” Hand trembling, Spike struggled to snap it into place before Oz leaned over to help.
Seeing Spike’s ashen face, Oz said quietly, “We don’t have to go.”
A muscle ticked in Spike’s jaw as he shook his head. “If I don’t go now, I never will. I’ll be okay.”
Without another word, Oz shoved the van into gear and drove into the nearby town of Sunnydale. He pulled up at the curb right outside the salon and glanced over at Spike.
“Ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.” Spike gave a weak smile and reached for the door handle.
Oz leapt out of the van and rushed round to help Spike as he stepped down.
“It’s just a couple of strides to the door. The floor’s level, okay?” said Oz quietly. “Where’s your cane?”
“Uh…I don’t want…”
“That’s okay. Just take my elbow.”
As soon as the pair entered, the stylist came forward and guided Spike to the chair nearest the basins.
“Hi. I’m Amelia. Oz tells me you want a cut and your hair lightened.”
“Um…yeah, please.”
Spike flushed as he sat facing the mirror he knew must be there. He had to fight the urge to ask Oz how many people were in the salon. With the radio playing and the chatter of several voices, he had no clue as to numbers. The scrape of a chair to his left made him jump but Oz’s familiar calm voice helped him relax.
“Only me.” He touched Spike’s arm briefly. “Want a cup of coffee?”
“Yeah, thanks.”
Oz called out to someone called Tara that they did both want coffee, and then he spoke to Amelia.
“So…I think he should go blue, don’t you?”
“No!” said Amelia and Spike together.
“Chicken,” muttered Oz, pleased to see some of the tension leaving Spike.
By the time Spike’s hair had been highlighted and cut, he was a little more talkative with Amelia. She winked at Oz and mouthed ‘he’s gorgeous’ as Spike was paying.
“Hey, Spike. Amelia thinks you’re gorgeous.”
“Oz!” Amelia shrieked.
Spike grinned but went crimson and almost dropped his wallet.
“You just mouthed it to me. Don’t lie.”
“I’m going to kill you, Oz. You weren’t supposed to tell him!”
“I keep telling him that he’s a git,” said Spike.
“That’s a good word! I’m going to remember that one!” Her hand brushed Spike’s. “See you in about six weeks to do your roots, okay? It’s been nice meeting you.”
“Uh…thanks.” It seemed silly that he dipped his head through feeling embarrassed when it wasn’t done to avoid eye contact, but he dipped it all the same. “Bye.”
“Bye.” Amelia cuffed Oz on the arm as he passed her.
Outside, Oz said, “There’s a coffee shop across the street. Want a donut or something?”
“Yeah, why not.”
Spike held Oz’s arm as they crossed the road, and they found a table in the window before Oz went back to order. Relaxing even more, Spike found he no longer worried if he was being stared at. He was just a bloke out for a cup of coffee with a mate.
He felt normal.
He grinned and picked at the caramel donut Oz had just put in front of him, slowly licking the sticky coating off his fingers one by one.
*~*~*~*
“Oh, my God!”
Willow leapt almost a foot off the ground at her friend’s outburst. “Buffy! You scared me half to death. What is it?” She glanced around frantically.
Buffy grabbed her arm. “Don’t look!”
“I don’t even know what I’m not looking at.” Willow shook her head with impatience.
“Don’t look. Well I mean…look but don’t make it obvious.”
“Where am I supposed to be looking?”
“Coffee shop. Guy with the bleached hair in the window. Is he hot or what?”
Willow glanced over to see the object of Buffy’s desire. “Uh…yeah…he looks cute.”
“Cute? Are you insane? That’s so not the right word to use. He’s sexy. Teddy bears are cute.”
“Whatever.” Willow looked pointedly at her watch. “Come on, we’re late already.”
Reluctantly, Buffy began to walk, but cast a look over her shoulder and smiled. Whoever he was, he’d noticed her. He stared right at her and began to lick his fingers in the most lascivious way she’d ever seen. She walked on with a little more of a swing to her step, hoping he’d enjoy the view. Sunnydale was a small town. She knew that they’d see each other again, soon. They just had to.
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Betad by seapealsh and dawnofme. Banner by dawnofme
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