Meanwhile: 2:35 am Wednesday
She heard sobs emitting from Drusilla’s lips as she cried for her daddy. Just then the walls came down and Spike appeared. He went over to Buffy not saying a word as he released her setting her on her feet stating, “It’s done.”
He looked horrible. He used the chains that had held Buffy to chain up Angelus and then turned to Buffy, “Go home. Make Willow complete the spell for Angel.”
Buffy watched as he left her to go release Drusilla. She stood and watched as Drusilla threw herself towards Spike whimpering about how she needed him and couldn’t live without her daddy or Spike. Buffy didn’t watch anymore as all her dreams shattered. She merely walked out of the factory ignoring the flames that slightly burned her and found Giles sitting on the ground waiting. She helped him up and took him back to her place. There she stood looking at the eager faces as Giles sat down on a chair to be fussed over by Joyce, “It’s done and finished. Angelus won’t be hurting us anymore. Spike said finish the spell.”
She took a deep breath entering the kitchen closing her eyes to regain control. She wasn’t going to let this get to her. She heard chanting behind her as she walked out of the kitchen. She continued walking refusing to think as she returned to the factory to see Spike in the corner of the room still comforting Dru as flames burned all around them. She said nothing as she watched the flash of light appear and enter Angelus. Angel was still knocked out as she removed him from the factory with scarcely a look from Spike.
Buffy struggled with carrying Angel over her shoulder like a bag of potatoes thankful for her slayer strength even if she was still out of breath and eager to stop. She made her way through the first cemetery and into the second one on the way to her house before she felt Angel moving over her shoulder. She gently placed him down on the ground rubbing her sore back and wanting to nurse her bruises and cuts from the earlier fight with him but knew this wasn’t the time to show weakness.
She only hoped the spell took as nicely as it should have. She glanced down at him watching as he glanced up at her and then stood up swaying a little before gaining his balance. Angel’s brown eyes looked at her as he whispered in a quiet and soft voice, “Buffy what happened? Everything is so muddled. It feels like I haven’t seen you in forever…”
Buffy looked at him feeling sorry for him but she also knew that deep down, her heart no longer belonged to him. She could never return to what they had before and even though Spike had chosen Drusilla over her, she would never be able to look into his brown eyes and trust him again. He couldn’t offer her what she needed. She looked at him with sad eyes as she admitted, “I’m sorry Angel…”
Angel looked so confused as he looked into her eyes looking for answers that she couldn’t bear to give him. To remember what he had done would be horrible for him and she knew she could never bring herself to share it with anyone else especially not him. She glanced down at her feet for a minute as she let out a deep breath that she didn’t realize she had been holding. She wasn’t sure what to say or do.
She wanted to forget this moment and race back to Spike but instead she knew that chapter was over. He was with his Dru now. She glanced up at Angel finding some strength and shook her head slightly so he didn’t try anything. She took a deliberate step back from him as she could still remember every little thing he did and the death he had caused as Angelus. She remembered sadly their night together but knew it would never happen again. She gave Angel a gentle kiss goodbye as she stated, “I’m sure you will remember…but for now, I’m sorry I can’t do this with you anymore. I still care for you but I no longer love you. You broke me down and because of this…”
She gestured around at some of the memories only she could remember right now, “we would never work.”
Angel stared at her not understanding but she knew as soon as he was alone, the memories would probably flood back like a downpour. She looked at Angel who was looking at her sadly as she repeated, “I’m sorry, Angel” before she turned on her heel walking away. She knew she did the right thing. She would be alone forever but her heart and soul belonged to another even if that other didn’t want her in return.
Buffy found herself on her own doorstep before she realized it with tears in her eyes that refused to fall down her face. She glanced up at the anxious faces and Willow and Xander rushed towards her even as Willow demanded, “Did it work?”
Buffy nodded biting her lower lip, “He’s Angel. It worked…” before she went into her room shutting the door and sobbing on her bed.
Every part of her hurt with disappointment and a broken heart. She had thought the loss of Angel hurt but Spike hurt even worse. Part of her wanted to race back to the factory that was burning and yell for him to join her, stay forever and be hers and her his. Another part of her knew this was for the best. Evil soulless vampires even those who she loved, weren’t meant to be with human slayers. Angelus had been proof of that after all but Spike hadn’t been Angelus.
She cried with renewed force as she stood in front of the mirror staring at herself noticing every bite mark was gone and healed. She sighed knowing it was really over as she cried even more. She didn’t even know at this point what she was crying for. All she knew was she was empty, alone and she missed Spike so badly she thought she would burst. She let herself sob bitterly as she remembered with vivid detail that every time Angelus had hurt her, Spike had been there to heal her. They had healed each other and now he was gone.
She wanted to just lie down and cry herself into the grave and make the pain stop. She curled up in a little ball as she remembered the Valentine’s Day and how perfect things were. She remembered how when she was sick Spike was accepted into the group and her heart bled with pain as she realized she would never find that again.
She heard voices outside her room discussing her and why she was crying and knew she didn’t want to see anyone. She stood up wiping her eyes so she could see grabbing her jacket, which held a stake and slipped out of her window. She jumped down from the tree landing on her feet dusting herself off and wiping the tears that had fallen once again.
Buffy hoped to find some violence and perhaps to be able to stake the last of the few minions still around that had belonged to Angelus. Her tears dried up as she felt no anger, no rush and no fulfillment as she wandered through the cemeteries staking various vampires.
Finally in the last cemetery, she had nothing left to stake and she felt the emptiness filling her again as she realized she had finished the last of the horror story that had become her life. Angelus was now Angel who wouldn’t harm anyone. Spike had returned to Drusilla where he belonged and she was alone as the slayer, which again is how things should be. She felt the tears fall as she glanced around looking at all the graves remembering Jenny would get one soon and it was her fault. She closed her eyes, as she was overwhelmed with the fact that if Spike ever came back to Sunnydale, he would probably be different and back to killing her and her friends.
This broke her already broken heart even more. She fell down to the ground in sobs knowing she didn’t want to live to see tomorrow. She had finished what she wanted, she was free and with freedom should have come happiness but instead all she felt was as though she had lost a part of herself when Spike left. She cursed the vampires that were all dead. She cursed Angelus who had ruined her life and she cursed Drusilla who had taken her Spike away from her. The anger left as quickly as it appeared leaving her with pain and sorrow. She was sobbing so hard with her eyes closed that she barely even noticed the sound of footsteps coming towards her nor the slight growl from the intruder.