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Chapter 3

Xander couldn’t stop laughing, until he noticed the thunderous expression on his friend’s face. He coughed one last time, clearing his throat.

“Sorry, man, but you have to admit it’s kind of funny.”

Spike glared at him. “Enlighten me on the funny part? There is nothing amusing about my ex being engaged to Angel.”

Xander nodded. “I guess it wouldn’t be for you, but at least you know she’s not a gold digger now.”

“A part of me wished she was, that would be much easier to deal with. How did I let this happen? I was a bloody fool to let her go, to actually think I could be happier without her in my life. I need her back, Harris.”

The brunet shook his head, taking a deep breath before saying what he needed to. “Are you sure you really want her, or is this only because Angel has her and she’s no longer available? I’m not an expert on dating, but we do tend to want what we can’t have.”

“I don’t fucking know, all right?! I just know that seeing her again brought everything back, and it made me realize that I never truly got over her. I don’t think I ever will,” Spike explained.

“Okay, but you really need to be sure about this first. If not, you could be ruining two relationships for nothing, not to mention remaining alone in the process. You have to figure out if this is really worth it. I don’t know Buffy, but from what you and Angel have told me, before I even realized who she was, she sounds like a great girl. One who’s been hurt in the past, by you, I might add. If you just end up hurting her again, I don’t think either of you would be able to recover this time. You could end up losing both of them.”

Spike thought about it. Angel meant a lot to him, but Buffy meant so much more. She was all he could see, all he ever wanted, and he was willing to risk everything to have her back in his life, no matter the consequences.


* * * * *


Fuck, she was glorious, Spike thought as he watched Buffy gyrate on the dance floor. She looked so free, at peace, like there was no one else in the world but her. Of course, her arms were currently wrapped around Angel, but Spike tried not to let that bother him. He didn’t even know why he agreed to meet them at the Bronze, but just knew that he had to see her again. Spike vaguely remembered some girl trying to pick him up, but right now, he only had eyes for Buffy.

He turned away when the song ended, taking a long drink of his beer, looking up to see them heading back over to the table. Buffy was breathing heavily, sweaty from all the dancing, but he thought she looked absolutely gorgeous.

“I forget that I’m not a teenager anymore. That really takes a lot out of you.”

Spike smiled at her fondly, about to say something, but the ringing of Angel’s cell phone put a stop to it.

He stood, kissing the top of Buffy’s head. “I’ll only be a minute.”

She watched him walk away, turning back to Spike to see him staring avidly at her. “What? Do I have something on my face?”

Instead of answering, Spike stood up, holding a hand out to her. “Dance with me?”

Buffy didn’t think that would be the best idea, but the look on his face decided it for her. She took his hand, letting him lead her back on the dance floor. As if the fates were out to get her, a slow song started to play.

Spike wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to his body as they slowly moved to the music. He shut his eyes in bliss; it felt so right having her in his arms, like she was always meant to be there. “Do you remember the last time we danced together?”

She glanced up at him, smiling at the memory. “Homecoming, you were so nervous about going because you couldn’t dance, but you knew how important it was to me.”

He nodded. “I didn’t want to disappoint you, so I took dance lessons. The worst six weeks of my life, but it was worth it in the end. I would do it again if I had to.”

“Well, I don’t think that’s necessary. You seem to be pretty good at it now.”

There was so much more he wanted to tell her, but Angel returned before he could get anything else out.

“Hey, mind if I cut in?”

Spike let her go; even though it was the last thing he wanted to do. He made his way back to their table and his beer, drinking it all down at once, then ordering another. Glancing back up, he noticed that Buffy wasn’t standing as close to Angel, and with him being so much taller than her, she looked a bit uncomfortable. He smiled to himself, taking another sip of his beer once the waitress brought it over. This might be easier than he thought.


* * * * *


He moved back to London after graduation, wanting to get far away from Sunnydale. Leaving Buffy and everything behind was the hardest thing he ever had to do, but he never regretted it, until now. She had apparently remained in town the whole time, ended up going to a local college, when he remembered her talking about going out of state. Buffy was a cheerleader, but she wasn’t a brainless twit like a lot of those other girls. She was really smart, got accepted to some of the best schools. William was considered a nerd to everyone around him, but he wasn’t an intelligent one. Because of his looks, everyone assumed he was a genius, but that was so far from the truth. He hated high school and everything about it, if it wasn’t for her, he probably would have dropped out at some point. Buffy even tutored him in a few classes, but no one knew about it. They would have continued to believe what they wanted, anyway, and that was one reason of why he ended things with her. She was brilliant, able to do anything with her life, and he felt that being with him would have held her back from everything she deserved. He made up all that crap of wanting to see other people. That was the last thing he wanted, but it was the first thing he thought of. Right now, sitting in his car outside of her house, the same house she grew up in, the same one he would constantly sneak in the window of, Spike didn’t know what to believe anymore. His leaving was a big mistake, and he didn’t think anything could possibly make up for it.





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