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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to Passion4Spike for her devilish encouragement >:D

Enjoy!

Banners by xoChantelly and Edgehead
Spike woke up about noon. He smiled at feeling Buffy's body next to his.

He turned his head to look at her. She was sleeping peacefully, and looked so beautiful. Spike lightly kissed the tip of her nose.

Getting some rest and seeing things in the light of day hadn't changed Spike's mind about wanting Buffy -- matter of fact, he was more sure than he'd been last night that he was in love with her. Loneliness, alcohol, curiosity, and horniness may have been what initially brought them together, but those factors didn't have anything to do with how he felt now. Spike felt so close to her, like they were always meant to be together but they hadn't been able to really see each other and find their way to each other until last night.

Buffy had seemed awfully happy and glowy when they'd gone to sleep... But what if she only wanted to be orgasm friends, with no deeper feelings attached? What if she met another woman she was attracted to and started dating again? Or what if Cordelia realized what a colossal mistake she'd made and came back to Buffy? They'd only been broken up a month and people sometimes did change their minds... so that could very well happen.

Could he take having his heart broken again? Spike didn't know what he'd do if he lost Buffy -- but he didn't really have her, did he? He'd enjoyed the wonderland of her body last night, but he wanted it all: body, heart and soul. He wasn't lying last night when he'd said he was a greedy bastard.

Spike shook his head to dispel the bad thoughts. 'Stop it, wanker,' he told himself. 'You haven't been happy for a long time... and Buffy makes you happy. Take whatever she's willing to give, enjoy her company, and shut the bloody hell up.'

Spike closed his eyes, wanting to relax and lay with Buffy a while longer before officially starting the day.

A scratching sound, followed by a little whine at the bedroom door, made his eyes pop open again. He sighed, feeling suddenly guilty that he'd been so wrapped up in his thoughts about Buffy that he had forgotten about his girl, Sunshine -- he felt like a horrible parent. She hadn't had her breakfast yet, and she was probably peeved about not sleeping on the bed last night... Oh, he was in for it. He wondered if she'd shredded any pillows or shoes out in the living room to express her irritation.

Spike groaned as he carefully slid out of bed, trying not to wake Buffy. He breathed deep and stretched his sore muscles. A long night of shagging was the best of all possible ways to make one's muscles sore. He looked at Buffy and smirked as he recalled memorable moments from the night before that had helped make his muscles achy today.

'Six times -- my new personal best! Good God, Buffy's talented!' It wasn't just any ordinary woman that could keep Spike feeling that passionate and excited for hours.

He went to the closet and pulled on his black silk bathrobe before opening the bedroom door. Sunshine was sitting on the other side of the door, looking up at him with her big, sad, accusing, brown eyes.

Spike smiled and bent down on one knee to pet her and scratch behind her ears the way she liked. "Mornin', Sunshine. How's my..."

She got up and walked away without waiting to get petted. She went briskly into the kitchen to await her breakfast/lunch.

Spike sighed. "Wonderful... she is brassed off." He hoped he could make it up to her somehow. Maybe she'd fancy a walk in the dog park this afternoon?

First things first -- he'd give Sunshine some food, and then have himself a hot shower. He wanted to be freshly washed and scrubbed when Buffy woke up.

As Spike had suspected, Sunshine had taken a small measure of revenge. There was a throw pillow minus the stuffing on the living room floor -- the stuffing now being scattered around the couch.

"Oh," Spike groaned and hung his head back, "bloody hell..."





Buffy rolled onto her back, yawning and stretching. Last night seemed like some wonderful, very dirty dream. If it weren't for the soreness in her muscles and naughty bits, she'd think it had to have been a dream -- because no one could have possibly made her as happy or feel as good as Spike had. But it had really happened.

She smiled and opened her eyes, only to find that Spike wasn't next to her. The clock on the nightstand said it was 12:30. Buffy hadn't slept that late in a long time. But they'd had a late night; it had probably been close to sunrise when they'd finally gotten too tired to fuck.

But it was more -- Spike was more -- than just a fuck to her.

Buffy still felt the same way about Spike as she had last night. It was confusing to go so quickly from not being interested in men, to falling head over heels with and wanting to have a relationship with one. And not just any guy, but one of her best friends. Buffy's head was still spinning from the swiftness of it all.

She had been physically attracted to Cordelia (and thinking about Cordy's body still made Buffy tingle), so she had to be bisexual and not just simply gay as she'd previously thought. What she'd felt and experienced with Spike surpassed anything Buffy had ever felt before. Man, woman -- whatever, it didn't matter. She wanted Spike, he was the one she wanted to be with. Something told her that she and Spike could have a real shot at happiness together.

Buffy's leg bumped up against something. She looked down the bed and saw Sunshine laying near her legs and looking at her with those almost-human eyes that had freaked Buffy out the previous night.

"Oh... hi there, Sunshine," Buffy said warily and feeling guilty for being the reason the dog was shutout of the bedroom until now. She couldn't tell if the dog was upset with her or not. "Where's your daddy?"

Sunshine's ears twitched and her eyes moved to the bathroom door for a moment before looking at Buffy again.

"Oh, he's in the bathroom? Okay... good. Sorry you had to sleep out in the living room last night..." Sunshine continued to stare impassively at her. "I promise we'll work something out in the future so you can sleep in here too. That's if your daddy still wants me to... sleep over again. I gotta talk to him again to make sure he still feels the same way. Things ended on a really good note last night, so I'm hopeful that... Um, I know he's important to you and you're important to him so... you'll still get lots of quality time."

Buffy wondered what her 'morning after' conversation with Spike was going to be like if she was nervously babbling and apologizing to the dog.

"So... are we still friends, Sunshine?" Buffy asked, holding out her hand for a lick. She squeaked and pulled her hand back when she thought she heard a little growl -- Buffy wasn't sure if she'd actually heard it or if it was just her imagination.

Sunshine blinked at her, stood up on the bed and then hopped off to the floor. The dog walked out into the living room with her nose in the air. It seemed that Sunshine was holding a bit of a grudge -- she hadn't licked Buffy's proffered hand or wagged her tail like she usually did.

"Wow, I just got dissed by a dog..." Well, it could've been worse. At least Sunshine hadn't bitten her.

Buffy frowned, not knowing how the dog had even gotten on the bed in the first place. Sunshine was too small to just climb or jump up. Buffy looked over the edge of the bed to see if Sunshine had constructed some kind of crude ramp.

Buffy looked up when the bathroom door opened and Spike emerged with a towel draped around his neck and wearing a faded pair of blue jeans with rips in the knees. He'd obviously just had a shower -- his hair was damp and beads of water still clung to his muscle-y torso. Buffy found the way he looked exceedingly sexy -- her heart thudded, a blush rose to her cheeks and butterflies zipped around in her stomach.

Buffy sat up in bed, feeling strangely modest and holding the blanket to her chest. They smiled shyly at each other.

"Mornin', luv," Spike greeted her as he scrubbed the towel over his hair. "Well, more like afternoon now, innit?" he joked lamely. "You, uh, sleep well?"

"Top o' the afternoon to you, too. Uh-huh, I slept really well. You?"

"Yeah, like the dead." Spike shifted on his feet, his mind went blank when he saw that she was awake. He couldn't remember the clever, suave things he'd planned on saying to Buffy now. "The, uh, the bathroom's free if you want a bath or shower." He pointed to the door. "Still plenty of hot water."

"Yeah, I think I'll take a shower in a minute."

Spike dropped his towel on the floor and picked up a white tank top he'd gotten out earlier and pulled it on over his head. Buffy was disappointed to see his body getting covered. She'd hoped the clothes would be coming off, not the other way around.

"You, um, have somewhere you have to be this afternoon?" Buffy asked.

"No. Well yeah. I mean, I don't have an appointment or anthin'." He put on socks and a pair of lived-in, white sneakers as he talked. "I promised my neighbor who lives across the way that I'd water her plants, feed her fish, and bring the mail in while she's on holiday."

"Oh? That's... nice of you." Buffy knew she had it bad for Spike -- just him mentioning doing a favor for a female neighbor made Buffy jealous and wonder how close Spike was to the neighbor.

He smiled and shrugged. "Simone's done me a favor or two in the past, I'm just showing her the same courtesy."

"Simone, huh?" Buffy didn't like that -- Simone was a pretty, French woman's name. "Is she old and/or fat, by any chance?"

Spike laughed and looked at her as he finished tying his shoe laces. "Old and fat? No. Actually, she's a lingerie model -- I'd guess about twenty-four years old. I've taken pictures for her portfolio. Fancy that -- a model livin' across the street from a photographer."

"Yeah... fancy that." That was not the answer she'd been hoping for. Buffy pursed her lips, trying very hard not to act like a jealous jerk. The old Buffy (the strictly lesbian one who had existed before last night) would've been asking if Spike had any pictures of the hot female model so she could check them out. But Buffy only had eyes for Spike now; his was the only body she wanted to drool over. "She sounds... nice. You and her ever... you know, get groiny?"

"Hmm? Oh." He shook his head. "Nah, she's been with her boyfriend for a while now, and I was with Dru before, so... no, we never..." Spike tilted his head, smiling tentatively and wondering if he was detecting jealousy from Buffy. That would be a very good sign for him and his chances with her.

"I think Sunshine's mad at me," Buffy said, changing the subject. "She was just staring at me and didn't give me any kisses."

"Yeah, she was a bit aloof with me, too. She's not such a happy pup today. She tore apart a pillow in the livin' room sometime during the night."

"Oh... she was probably imagining the pillow was me. She doesn't usually do stuff like that, does she?"

"No, not usually. She once chewed up a pair of Dru's high heels while in a snit, and she went through a sock shredding phase, but it's not like her to be destructive or act-out these days. She's brassed off and she wants me to know it."

"I'm sorry... I feel really guilty," Buffy said with a little laugh.

"It's not your fault, luv. I had an attack of the guilties too -- felt like the worst parent in the bloody world when I saw her sad little face..." He waved it off and stood up. "I'm planning on takin' her to the dog park for a nice walk and then stop somewhere to get her a special treat. She likes that dog ice cream, I'll buy her some of that."

"I hope she's the forgiving and forgetting type."

"Sunshine will be alright, don't worry. It's been just me and her for months, she's used to being the center of my universe." He reached out touched Buffy's hair, tucking a lock behind her ear. "I still wouldn't change a thing about last night."

"I wouldn't, either," Buffy replied, returning the smile and feeling very happy to hear him say that.

They batted their eyes at each other, feeling like love-struck teenagers.

Spike fidgeted and nervously dropped his eyes from hers.

"Something wrong?" Buffy asked.

"Uh, no, I just..." Spike got that shy, blushy look that Buffy found so charming and sexy. "I wanted to kiss you before I left, but..." His eyes flicked back up to hers. "Do you want me to?"

Buffy smiled wide. "If you don't mind kissing me while I still have dragon breath, then I don't mind."

They chuckled and he bent down to press his lips gently against hers. Buffy put her hand on the back of his neck lightly as the tender kiss went on. Spike broke the kiss and stood up straight again.

"That was nice," Spike said. He wasn't used to feeling so uncertain of himself with a woman. He just wanted Buffy to like him so much. He hadn't felt this desperate need for a girl to like him since he'd been a squeaky-voiced kid. But he had to be cool and not scare Buffy off.

"Mmmhmm, it was."

Spike furrowed his brow. "Uh... I was on my way to do something -- where was I going again? I can't remember..."

"To your neighbor's place across the street. Your old and fat neighbor."

Spike snorted a laugh. "Ah, right. I'll be back soon as I can."

"Okay."

He started for the door but then turned back to her. "I put a pot of coffee on. It should be ready any minute, you can help yourself."

"Thanks, I will."

"And I'll make pancakes when I get back. If... you want to stay for... pancakes."

Buffy grinned. "I'd love to. I worked up quite an appetite last night," she said, giving him a suggestive eyebrow wiggle and rubbing her stomach. "Maybe I'll even try that apple-cinnamon stuff on them."

Spike smiled goofily. "Right. Be back soon." He almost walked into the edge of the door, but was able to sidestep it at the last second. He looked back at her with a sheepish smile before he proceeded out into the living room.

Buffy stifled a giddy laugh at seeing how flustered Spike was. He really was incredibly adorable when he was nervous -- it was a good sign that he was being all blushy and cute with her. He wanted her to stay and have lunch with him and not get her out of the house asap, like she'd heard many one-night stands ended. And he'd wanted to kiss her while she still had morning breath. Those were good signs too.

Buffy huffed a breath into her hand. "Eww. Definite hair-curling dragon breath." But Spike hadn't hinted that he'd found it gross. "Yay! He really must like me!"

She threw off the covers, slowly got out of bed, and then stretched. Her muscles were sore, but it was a good kind of sore. Spike had rocked her world like a pro last night. Buffy had never thought a night of sex, no matter how passionate or awesome, could change someone's outlook on life. Until now, that is.

As she stretched, she started humming/singing the theme song from 'The Greatest American Hero' (which had just popped into her head):

"Believe it or not
I'm walkin' on air
I never thought I could feel so free-eee-hee
Mmm-hmmm-mmmmm-mmm-hmmm
Who could it beeee?
Believe it or not it's just meeeee"

She giggled, feeling silly and thankful that Spike wasn't here to hear her singing that.

With a spring in her step and a smile on her face, Buffy went into the bathroom to take a hot, muscle-soothing shower and search for a new toothbrush she could use to slay the dragon breath.





After her shower, Buffy put her panties back on and slipped into one of Spike's black t-shirts. She didn't think he'd mind her borrowing his shirt, and she hoped he might find it sexy.

Spike wasn't back yet, so she thought she'd help by getting things out they'd need to make pancakes. Buffy went out to the kitchen and started going through the fridge.

"Hmm, wonder if he has any bacon and sausage? I got a hankerin' for 'em since I discovered how much I love eating meat," she giggled. She'd have to tell Spike that when he got home.

The telephone rang, startling her.

Buffy jumped. "Shit!" Without thinking, she reflexively went to the wall-mounted phone and picked it up like she would at her own house.

"Hello?" She rolled her eyes, thinking that she should've just let the machine get it.

There were a few seconds of silence, then a male voice said, "Buffy?"

It took her a moment to figure out who it was. "Xander?"

"Damn, I meant to call Spike. I must've dialed you by mistake. I was going to call you right after I talked to him."

Buffy didn't want anyone finding out yet about what had happened between her and Spike. Hopefully Xander wouldn't suspect. The two of them still had to talk about what they did and what it meant, she wasn't crazy about the idea of everyone knowing yet. While she was considering what and what not to say, Xander kept talking.

"I just found out that Willow and Tara didn't go to movie night either... We feel really shitty for ditching you and Spike like that. Are you mad at us?"

"Oh, I'm not mad." In fact, Buffy was very happy she and Spike had been alone.

"I bet Spike's pissed though, right?"

"He wasn't happy when you guys called to cancel... but I think he's okay with it now."

"I know him, and I know he's gotta be pissed. We should have made the time to get together, you guys need us to help lift your spirits... and we bail on you. We're really sorry, Buff."

"I said it's okay, Xan."

"We'll make it up to you guys," Xander went on, convinced that Buffy and Spike had to be angry. "We can take you both out to dinner and a movie whatever day you want, and we'll pony up for the beer and Chinese food from last night too, of course."

"That sounds cool, but we're really not mad."

"I'll call you back right after I talk to Spike, okay, Buffy? Bye."

"Xander, wait I'm --"

Buffy sighed and put the handset back in the cradle, but didn't take her hand away. As she expected, the phone rang a moment later.

She picked it up again and said, "Yello."

Pause. "Buffy? Damn, I did it again! I swear I dialed --"

"You did dial right -- both times. I'm at Spike's place, I just happened to answer the phone."

"Why didn't you say so?"

"I was going to but you wouldn't let me talk."

"Oh... sorry. Are you still there or did you go back over?"

"Um... still."

"You drank a few too many, huh?" It wasn't unusual for one of the couples to stay the night if they'd drank too much, so Xander's mind didn't leap to a naughty reason for Buffy still being there.

"Yeah, thought it'd be better if I didn't drive."

"Can you put Spike on? I want to apologize to him too."

"Spike's not here, he had to go across the street. He promised his neighbor he'd feed her fish and water her plants, stuff like that. His neighbor who he said is some lingerie modeling skank. I added the skank, 'cause I just know she has to be one."

"Oh, really? Hey, maybe the lingerie model hottie neighbor has a chore or two I could do around the house." A moment later, Xander said, "Oww!"

Buffy raised her eyebrows. "Hmm, have I developed the telekinetic power to slap perverts from miles away?" she wondered aloud.

"No, Anya hit me," Xander grumbled, rubbing the back of his head.

"Oh. Well, as long as someone smacked you, that's what matters," Buffy said cheerfully.

"Is Spike going to be back soon? I could call back in a few minutes."

"I'd say wait a while before you call again, or better yet, let him call you. Spike and I are going to have some lunch."

"But I want to talk to him asap," Xander whined. "I don't want him stewing any more about us not coming last night."

"I told you he's not mad." Buffy sighed. "I gotta go, I'll tell Spike you called, okay?"

"Yeah, okay. Talk to you later, Buff."

They hung up.

Buffy was pretty sure Xander would be calling back in five minutes or less, despite her telling him to wait. She shook her head and smiled. She thought she and Spike should try milking the 'being abandoned by their friends' thing a little. They could get a few free restaurant meals and movies out of the deal.

She was relieved that Xander didn't seem to suspect that something had happened between her and Spike. Things were definitely looking up, as far as mutual attraction and possible dating, but Buffy didn't want to jinx it by letting their other friends know about it yet. And they would ask so many questions.

Buffy needed to have a heart-to-heart with Spike to make sure they were both on the same page and wanted the same things. Keeping the lovey-dovey, swoony feelings a secret was best for now. But telling him she found him gorgeous, fun to be with, and sexy as hell wouldn't hurt.





Buffy's heart beat faster at the sound of the front door opening and closing. Spike came into the kitchen a few moments later.

"Sorry it took me so long..." He smiled as his eyes moved over her body. "That's a very fetching look on you, pet."

She blushed and did a turn to show off the black t-shirt (and how it barely covered her ass). "I was hoping you wouldn't mind me wearing it."

Spike's tongue quickly swept over his top lip. "Don't mind at all."

"So, what took you so long at the neighbor's?" Buffy asked as she poured a cup of coffee.

Spike had to force his eyes up and away from her legs and butt. "Huh? Oh, I was waitin' for the postman so I wouldn't have to go back over later. And Mike the Postman was apparently feelin' chatty, so I had to be polite and talk with him for ten bloody minutes."

Buffy poured a second cup of coffee, and then set one on the kitchen island for him. "You're so nice and polite to everyone! Who woulda guessed!" she teased.

"Thanks, luv." Spike lifted his mug and took a sip of black coffee. "Mike's a nice bloke. Plus, you don't want to be shirty with the people who control what letters, bills and packages you receive, and in what condition you receive them in."

She chuckled. "That's true. I give my mailman a batch of cookies at Christmas. I don't know if that helps, though... I'm not the best baker in the world. He might think I'm trying to poison him."

"Sunshine still givin' you a hard time?"

"I haven't seen her. I think she went out in the backyard. It's probably a good idea for me to avoid her for a while. She ain't my biggest fan right now."

"Well, you ready for some of Chef Spike's world famous pancakes?" Spike asked, smirking and walking around the island. He looked out the window to make sure Sunshine was out there. He was contented to see that she was laying in the grass by the bird feeder, sunning herself.

Buffy rubbed her stomach. "Mmmhmm, I'm starved."

Spike got more ingredients out of the refrigerator and cabinets. "I can even make them in fun shapes," he said, holding up a bunny-shaped pancake mold.

Buffy giggled. "Oooh, bunny pancakes! Fancy. Never make those for Anya."

He laughed. "Yeah, don't think they'd go over well, what with her bunny phobia."

Buffy sat down on a stool at the island. She enjoyed just gazing at Spike. She wondered again what the hell Dru's problem had been. Why would any woman give up a guy who looked like him, talked like him, fucked like him, and could also whip up a batch of pancakes?

They were both thinking how good this felt -- just hanging out and getting ready to enjoy some pancake-y goodness after a night of unbridled lust. Hopefully there would be many more lazy afternoons like this in their future.

Mentioning Anya (and her bunny phobia) reminded Buffy about Xander calling. "Oh, you should expect a call from Xander soon. Possibly within minutes."

Spike raised an eyebrow as he tossed ingredients into a mixing bowl. "How do you know that? You psychic?" He thought, 'Oh God, I hope she's not psychic...' Dru had fancied herself an 'intuitive', and Spike had had enough of that bollocks to last a lifetime. And it was alarming to think that Buffy might be able to read his mind and know how he really felt about her.

"I know 'cause he called while you were gone -- twice -- and was very apologetic about how they all bailed on us last night. He talked to Willow this morning and they felt doubly bad."

"Good. They should feel like shit," Spike said with a nod.

"Oh... I told him you weren't mad. I thought you were... okay with it." Maybe Spike wasn't as grateful as she was that things had turned out the way they had...

"I was mad... at first. I can't complain about what them not being here led to, though. Takes the edge right off my anger." He glanced at her with a wily smile.

Buffy smiled back. "I know what you mean. I can't be pissed off about it either. But Xander is worried that you're really angry with him. Said they'll reimburse us for the food and drink, and they'll treat us to a night out -- dinner and a movie."

"Hmm, is that so?" Spike grinned evilly. "I do believe I'll take the piss outta him a bit, then. Lay it on real thick-like and make him think I'm ready to punch him in the face."

"Oh, you're evil!" Buffy laughed. "I confess, I thought about doing that a little bit too. Um, I didn't let on to Xander that anything... happened between you and me." She looked down and ran her fingertip around the rim of her coffee cup. She took a breath, readying herself to forge ahead. "You and me should... you know... talk about it."

"Yeah... we need to --"

The phone rang again, making them groan. They were nervous to talk about their new relationship, but they also wanted to get to it without further interruptions, just to have 'the talk' out of the way and to better know where they stood with each other (and make a date for the next time they wanted to hook up).

"And that'll be Xander again," Buffy said.

Spike went to the phone and then closed his eyes for a moment, looking like an actor preparing for a role. "I'm getting into the character of 'Brassed Off Spike'."

"Aww, don't be too mean to him," Buffy said with a chuckle.

Spike smiled evilly again and wagged his eyebrows at Buffy as he put his hand on the phone. "This is gonna be fun."

"Wot?!" Spike answered the phone in a growly voice, but smiling conspiratorially at Buffy.

There was a pause. "That's not a very nice greeting. Your phone etiquette needs work, luv."

Spike's smile disappeared. It was Drusilla on the line, not Xander.

Buffy could tell something was wrong by the look on his face. Maybe it wasn't Xander, but someone like Spike's boss calling? It was even worse than she'd thought when she heard him say his ex's name.

"Drusilla..."

"Yes, darling, it's me."

"What do you want?" Spike asked tersely, turning his back on Buffy.

"I miss you, Spike. I've done some thinking... and I know I made a mistake by leaving. We're meant to be together, and I was a fool to try fightin' it."

"Un-fucking-believable..." he said, looking up at the ceiling and shaking his head.

"I know you're cross with me for what happened, but --"

"Cross? Cross? I hate you for what you did to me. You expect me to just forget how you treated me?"

"I love you. I never stopped lovin' you, Spike. Please forgive me?"

Dru was trying to sound calm, but Spike could hear anxiety in her voice. It sounded as though she was terrified he'd spurn her. Was it possible she really did still love him?

Spike trembled from the deluge of strong emotions bombarding him. Dru wanting him back was something he'd prayed for since the day she'd left. He'd given up hope of that happening -- especially after months of not hearing a word from her. "How can you say you love me? You looked me right in the eye and told me you didn't want me anymore. Do you have any clue how much that fucking hurt?!"


Buffy was extremely uncomfortable. It would be awkward and bad enough to be in the same room with someone who was just a friend while they argued with their ex on the phone. But Buffy was also filled with dread about what might result from Dru's phone call.

She remembered Spike calling Drusilla his 'soulmate' and 'the love of his life' many times since she'd first met him. What they'd shared the night before was amazing, but could one night of amazing sex trump the love of one's life wanting them back? Buffy had a sick feeling the answer to that was 'no'. She was afraid her chance at something more meaningful than one night of great sex with Spike was dwindling.

Buffy felt like she was going to cry, so she slipped out the door onto the back patio. She sat down on the steps that led down to the grass, fighting desperately to keep the tears in her eyes from falling. Her vision was getting blurry -- she was losing the fight.

Buffy wanted to run to the bedroom and get dressed so she could go home. She wanted to get out of here before Spike got off the phone and told her that he was giving Drusilla another chance. But that would only delay getting her heart broken... Better to stick around and get it all over with instead of feeling sick and waiting for him to call her and tell her the bad news.

"Oh God, this isn't happening..." Buffy whispered, feeling like she'd been sucker punched.


Back in the house, Spike continued his heated discussion with Drusilla.

Spike noticed that Buffy had left the kitchen. He figured she'd felt awkward and needed to step outside to get away from the arguing. He felt really bad for making her run off, and he would apologize to her for it later. But right now, he was too upset, confused, and shocked to focus on anything else but Dru.

"Why the hell did it take you three months to realize you still love me?" he asked angrily. "I went all the way to bloody Brazil to tell you how much I loved you -- and you turned me away. Told me I wasn't enough for you... You made me feel worthless and doubt myself. I didn't get a decent night's sleep for weeks -- I kept wonderin' what it was I did to drive you away," Spike said, his voice thick and threatening to break. He didn't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing how badly she'd hurt him, but he recalled the agony he'd gone through, all too well.

"I'll make it all up to you, my Spike, if you just give me another chance. I left you 'cos I had the jitters 'bout our wedding. I panicked and made a stupid decision."

He ran a hand back through his hair. "How could you have jitters about the wedding -- we didn't even set a bloody date!"

"I wasn't thinkin' straight. I love you, I'll --"

"Stop sayin' that!" Spike growled. "You can't've loved me and hurt me the way you did."

"I'll prove how much I love you -- all I need is another chance. I want to see you -- I need to see you -- and talk to you in person. We can sort everything out, I know we can. Think of all the happy memories we've made... We can make so many more. We were made for each other, my pet -- you know it, an' I know it. No one could ever love you the way I do. Can I see you?"

The part of Spike that would always love Drusilla wanted to say yes, he would at least talk to her about possibly getting back together. That is, after all, what he'd prayed for so many times over the past few months. They really did have a lot of good times together, and she had been everything to him for so many years. Before she'd left him, Spike had thought he and Dru were eternal.

He looked out the window and saw Buffy sitting on the steps with her back to him... His heart didn't belong solely to Dru any longer. But it would be insane to give up a chance of reconciling with the woman he'd loved for years and had intended to marry because of his brand-new feelings for a recently-lapsed lesbian who only wanted to be orgasm friends...

"Spike?" Dru said after he was quiet for a while. "Tell me when I can come see you."





Buffy was positive about her feelings for Spike now, no more wondering if her feelings were real or if it was just a passing thing. Being faced with the possibility of losing him to his ex was agonizing. They hadn't even had a chance to have the morning after 'To be, or not to be a couple' talk. Drusilla had the worst timing in history! Or was it Buffy who had the bad timing?

Spike had had a great time last night too, she knew he did. Maybe he wouldn't take Dru back after what they'd shared. But Buffy knew how much he'd loved Dru. It was obvious how devoted to and passionate Spike was about Dru when she'd seen them together in the past. It had been obvious to anyone with working eyeballs and ears -- Spike simply adored Drusilla.

Buffy had to prepare for the worst, to hear him say something like 'Last night was fun, but I've got to give Dru another chance. I hope you understand'.

Buffy put her hands over her face, hoping that she wouldn't cry, or make a fool out of herself in general, when he did come out onto the patio to talk. She had to respect his decision, take it with some dignity, and try not to make him feel guilty. After what he'd been through with Dru, he didn't need her piling any more on him.


Sunshine could tell Buffy was sad, and she wanted to cheer her up. She was still annoyed that her daddy let Buffy sleep on his bed last night instead of her and closed the door, but Sunshine didn't like it when people were sad and they cried. Her daddy had been like that for a long time after Dru went away. She didn't like to think of Dru as "Mummy", she didn't like Dru at all.

If she had to share her daddy with anyone, Buffy was better than that meanie Dru. Buffy was nice and gave Sunshine treats and scratched her behind the ears. Daddy was in a good mood today and showing his teeth (which Sunshine had learned was a thing humans did when they were happy), so she wouldn't mind having Buffy around.

The dog got up and went over to Buffy on the steps, giving the human's arm a little, sympathetic lick.


Buffy took her hands away from her face and looked down at the dog. She smiled sadly and petted Sunshine on the head. "Aww, you're not mad at me anymore, girl?"

For some reason, Sunshine being nice to her made Buffy feel worse -- even the dog knew how pitiful Buffy's predicament was and felt sorry for her.

Buffy continued to pet the dog and try to stave off tears. What was she going to do? She'd fallen for Spike in a big way, she wouldn't be able to pretend she didn't want him, and go back to being just friends. She wouldn't be able to see him with Drusilla and not feel a big ball of jealousy burning in the pit of her stomach. But he was one of her best friends... she didn't want to lose him as a friend either.

In hindsight, she should have listened to Spike last night -- getting groiny with each other was going to hurt, or perhaps totally ruin, their friendship -- because Buffy knew it would just be too painful to see him with Drusilla.

Buffy thought, 'Why did that stupid, crazy, bony bitch have to call!? Why couldn't she just stay out of his life?!'

Sunshine licked Buffy's arm again.





Buffy tensed and gulped when she heard the sliding door open. She could hear her own pulse pounding in her ears. She quickly wiped her eyes (a few tears had escaped despite her best efforts).

Sunshine hopped off the stairs and danced around as Spike sat down on the step next to Buffy. Spike smiled and petted Sunshine, happy at least that his dog seemed to have forgiven him.

"Buffy," he started, "...I'm sorry."

Buffy, who couldn't look him in the eye yet, took that to mean he was sorry they were going from 'orgasm friends' back to just regular friends so quickly, their affair was officially over. She cleared her throat. "I... understand. You love Dru, and giving her another chance seems like the right thing to do. I just..."

"What?" Spike frowned and looked at her. "You think I'm daft enough to take her back?"

"It's not about being 'daft' -- you love her. And love can..." Buffy looked at him with hope (as well as tears) in her eyes. "You mean... you aren't getting back together? You told her no?"

"Of course I told her no," Spike said defensively. "And then I told her to sod off. Don't want to talk to her or see her again. I've moved on... emotionally."

Buffy smiled and looked down at her lap. It felt like a huge weight had just been lifted off of her; it was easier to breathe now. "Good. I think you made the right decision." She sniffled.

Spike leaned forward and tilted his head, trying to see her face. "Buffy, what's wrong? Were... you crying?"

"No." She sniffled again, and then smiled wanly. "My eyeballs get moist sometimes for no reason." She looked at him. "Your eyeballs look a little moist too. Are you okay?"

Spike sighed and ran his hand back through his hair, looking out at the backyard. "Dru just drives me crazy, you know? She ripped my heart out, and now she wants me to take her back like none of it ever happened." He looked at her again. "I can see you were crying. Wanna tell me why?"

Sunshine went past them and on into the house for a drink of water. She figured the two humans could help each other be not sad without her help.

"I was upset because... I couldn't stand the thought of you getting back with Drusilla. That bitch hurt you so bad and she does not deserve you," Buffy said firmly.

"Oh..." Spike had hoped her tears were for a different reason. He smiled slightly and patted Buffy's knee. "Thanks, pet. That's nice of you to say."

"And I like you," Buffy blurted out. "A lot."

"I like you a lot, too, Buffy."

She could tell he wasn't getting her gist. He still thought she meant she liked him as a friend.

Spike took a deep breath, ready to be truthful. "In fact..." He stood up and began slowly pacing in front of the steps. "We should have that talk, yeah?"

Buffy nodded. "If you feel up to it."

"I like you, Buffy. I've always liked you, but our circumstances in the past... well, you know the circumstances. We were both in love and happy with other people. And you weren't attracted to men, of course."

"Yeah..."

"I'm about to say some things that will probably freak you out... but I think it's important that I be completely honest. I was going to keep some thoughts to myself so I wouldn't scare you off, but I don't like keepin' things bottled up."

"O...kay..." Buffy said slowly, wondering where he was going with this. She was afraid to assume anything at this point.

Spike's nervous pacing picked up speed as he babbled. "I don't want to be with Drusilla anymore. I was angry that she called and had the bloody nerve to think I'd take her back -- but I was more angry with myself, 'cos if she'd called just a day ago, I might have been tempted to give her another chance. Love's bitch, that's what I am. But after you and I... I have feelings for you, Buffy. I know that me developing warm an' fuzzies for you isn't what you had in mind when we started playin' 'Show Me Yours and I'll Show You Mine'. I know that you only liked women before, and you'll need to mull it over. And maybe what we did was just experimenting for you, but it was more than that to me. I hope you'll consider me and... God, I'm sorry -- I promised myself I wouldn't put any pressure on you, and what do I do?"

Buffy was happily stunned. She couldn't say anything for a few seconds, and by the time she was ready to speak, Spike was already talking again.

Spike growled and shook his head, thinking he sounded like a complete git. And then he tried expressing the way he felt again. "Last night started with the two of us having a bit of fun, but it quickly became more than that to me. I realized how much I cared for you. I like you -- and want you -- as more than a friend." He hurried ahead to the next part, not wanting her to feel sorry for him if she didn't feel the same way. "I don't expect you to throw out your entire sexual identity just because of one night with me. I'm not making any bloody sense, am I? But I'm afraid to stop talking, 'cos then you'll --"

Buffy got up and stood in the way of his pacing, making him halt. She laid her hands on his chest. Spike stopped and looked nervously into her eyes.

Buffy smiled and slid her hands up his chest and around to the back of his neck. She leaned in and kissed him softly. "You talk too much," Buffy said teasingly as she nibbled at his bottom lip. And then she kissed him harder.

Spike put his arms around her and closed his eyes, melting into the kiss with a deep moan.

When they needed to stop for oxygen, they pulled back and smiled at each other.

"I feel the same way about you, Spike," Buffy admitted. "I was so afraid you wouldn't want me the same way I want you."

"How could I not want you in every possible way, Buffy? You're a helluva woman." Spike latched onto her lips for another hungry kiss.

She tilted her head back and panted for air as Spike's mouth moved to her neck and his hands wandered over her back. "I love you," Buffy said breathily.

They both pulled back, looking at each other with wide, surprised eyes.

"Oh God... no, I did not say that," Buffy said quickly and put a hand over her mouth, horrified with herself for letting that slip. Things had been going so well -- and then she had to say that! "I-I don't know why I said that! You stay here while I go invent a time machine so I can go back in time and not say that. Be back in a jiff!"

She tried breaking away from him, but Spike tightened his hold around her waist. He couldn't believe she'd said it -- the words that he had been terrified he'd blurt out. But he had to make sure she hadn't said it in the heat of the moment.

Buffy screwed her eyes shut, not able to look at him. "Please let me go, Spike," she whined.

"Open your eyes," Spike said softly.

"No." Buffy pouted.

"C'mon, luv. Open up those beautiful baby greens." Spike jostled her a bit in his arms.

Buffy compromised by opening one eye.

Spike smiled. "Did you mean 'I love you' as a friend... or more? Or did you not mean to say it at all, and it came out by accident?"

"...Which of those answers would you want it to be?" she asked anxiously.

"I want the real answer. I want to know how you feel, pet. Would it help if I told you how I feel about you first?" By her reaction, he guessed that she'd meant it in a romantic sense -- he hoped so, anyway. If he'd said 'I love you' first, he'd be wanting a time machine too.

She nodded, still afraid of what he might say, but it would be easier to know how he really felt. "Maybe that would help..."

"I was afraid I was gonna say that to you last night -- several times." Spike didn't feel nervous about admitting it now that she'd broken the 'I love you' barrier. "I love you too, Buffy."

Buffy opened her other eye. "You're... not just saying that because I said it first, are you? 'Cause you don't have to..."

Spike smiled wider and shook his head. "I've got it bad for you, Buffy. You're an amazing woman -- funny, sweet, kind -- and a bobcat in the sack. I thought I was just a pathetic git in love with a woman who could never love me back."

Buffy grinned and threw her arms around his neck again. "I meant I feel the swoony kind of love for you, too."

They hugged and kissed, and then Spike spun her around in a circle. Buffy laughed as her feet left the ground, holding him tighter.

They kissed again when he set her back on the ground.

"Are we just crazy?" Buffy laughed, her heart going a mile a minute. "Can we really be in love after one night of sex? Though it was spectacular sex."

"Perhaps we are a bit nutty," Spike replied with a laugh. "But we can be crazy together. You really... want to be with me? Dating, boyfriend/girlfriend type stuff?"

She nodded. "I really, truly do. Believe me, it's just as much of a surprise to me as it is to you."

"I really converted you to Team Hetero, then?" Spike asked excitedly, a big grin on his face.

"Well, I definitely want to be with you and only you now, but I don't know about 'converted'. I think it's more that I realized I'm not --"

He smirked. "Can we just say I converted you? Other men will look upon me as a god."

Buffy chuckled. "Okay, if it's that important to you. Very well, you converted me, you big, manly man. My gayness was no match for you -- you, with your masculine wiles, devil tongue, and mystical cock. You want me to print up a t-shirt that says 'Spike converted me' on the front and 'Now playing for Team Hetero' on the back?"

Spike smiled and hugged her. "Aw, you'd do that for me? You're the best, pet!" A second later, he raised an eyebrow and said, "Mystical cock?"

They chuckled.

"You're silly. But I'm fond of silliness myself." She hugged him back. "I think we could be really good for each other, Spike," she said sincerely.

"I think so too, Buffy. I don't wanna jinx anything... but I have a really good feeling about us." He kissed her throat. "You know what I wanna do right now?" Spike asked against her neck, in a sexy, growly voice.

"Hmm, yes?"

"Take you back in the bedroom for several more hours. Professor Spike has a very lengthy lesson plan, and there's much more he wants to show his star pupil."

"You're really a state-of-the-art sex robot made in Japan, aren't you?" Buffy giggled.

"Ah, damn, you discovered my secret." Spike kissed a line down the side of her neck. "My sole mission in life is to please my mistress."

She squeezed his butt. "Ooh, domo arigato, Mr. Roboto." Buffy's stomach chose that moment to growl. "Um, I don't know about you sex robots, but us humans need food to give us energy -- and I want to have a lot of energy before we go back in the classroom."

Spike sighed. "Yeah, I s'pose you're right. I'm peckish and need to refuel, too." He took her hand and started heading into the house. "Pancakes first, then we break out the Kama Sutra."

"Didn't you say something about taking Sunshine to the dog park?"

He sighed again. "Damn, I'm the worst father in the world... thinkin' about my own primitive, base desires." Sunshine's unconditional love had helped Spike get through those first dark months after Drusilla left; he had to make his furry daughter a priority. The fact that he'd fallen in love again and his head was in the clouds was no excuse.

"I don't want to be on Sunshine's 'shit list' again," Buffy chuckled. "Besides, I think our bodies need a little more recovery time."





They made bunny-shaped pancakes and sausage (Spike enjoyed Buffy's 'newfound love of eating meat' joke), and talked some more as they ate. Buffy made a piece of sausage just for Sunshine, which helped the dog forgive her completely for everything.

Spike and Buffy spent most of the time talking about the things they already liked about each other, pre-sexcapades. It was important to both of them to make it clear their feelings weren't simply sexual and lusty. It was so freeing to tell each other, and laugh about, all the little thoughts that had occurred to them the night before. They'd been too afraid of ruining a good thing by admitting too much at the time. All that anxiety was for nothing, thankfully.

Buffy helped Spike clean the kitchen up after their satisfying meal.

She chuckled as she put the last dish away. "I can't believe what a huge-giant slut I was last night in the living room. I was curious, and then I just wanted you so bad, and then I kept craving more." She blushed and put a hand over her eyes. "The way I made you whip it out and then... took advantage of you."

Spike laughed and put his arms around her waist from behind. He rested his chin on her shoulder. "Pet, you didn't make me do anything I didn't want. It was a bit awkward at first, yeah... but you saying and doing those things to me is something I'd fantasized about so many bloody times. I found it hard to comprehend that it was happening outside of my pervy imagination. I'd never been taken advantage of before. I loved it," he said as he nuzzled her neck. "Dear Penthouse, I usually don't write letters like this..."

Buffy giggled and squirmed in his arms. "I'd better get dressed."

"Damn. Not what I was hopin' you'd say," Spike joked.

They went out into the living room.

Buffy noticed a few pieces of pillow stuffing around the couch Spike had missed when he'd cleaned up the signs of Sunshine's protest. But he'd gotten most of the debris. "Did you yell at Sunshine for destroying the pillow?" She knew he never yelled at the dog, but wondered what, if any, punishment there'd been.

"I gave her a 'look'." Spike demonstrated by lowering his brows and frowning, looking very displeased. "And I shook my finger at her and told her she was a bad dog for doin' what she did..." Then his expression softened and he smiled slightly. "She just looked at me with those big brown eyes, makin' me feel guilty. I felt like it was my fault she took her anger out on the pillow -- she thought I was mad at her and I was punishing her for something by making her sleep out here. Bloody dog can make me feel like a jerk with just a look. So... I let the issue drop."

Buffy smiled and put her arms around his middle. "You're such a pushover. I'll have to ask Sunshine what 'look' it is she gives you that makes you forgive her almost instantly. I might need that in the future."

Spike hung his head back and groaned good-naturedly. "Wonderful. I'm gonna have two females who have me wrapped 'round their dewclaws."

"Yep, 'fraid so." Buffy smiled slyly when she saw his sketchpad on the coffee table. "I loved the pictures you drew of me. They were sexual, weren't they? It wasn't just 'the human body is a beautiful thing' kind of deal?"

Spike smirked, and then gave her a little kiss. "Maybe. Actually, it was a bit of both. I found your human body particularly aesthetically pleasing."

After a little more smooching, they finally made their way into the bedroom where Spike changed the bed sheets while Buffy got dressed.

"Thank goodness your bed wasn't possessed by a demon like the one in the movie," Buffy said as she put her shoes on.

Spike smiled. "Yeah, that would've been most unfortunate. We didn't heed the movie's warning, did we? Coulda gotten ourselves all eaten up by the very bed we were shaggin' on. Positively chilling, it is!"

"No matter how things go between us, we'll always have 'Death Bed: The Bed That Eats People'," Buffy said melodramatically, putting her hands over her heart. "That movie will forever have a special place in my heart."

Spike laughed and nodded as he finished tucking in the covers, "Same here, pet." He stepped back from the bed and put his hands on his hips. "There, all done. My normal, un-possessed bed looks presentable again."

Buffy inspected his work, nodding approvingly. "Very nice job of making the bed. Your mom taught you right."

"Yes, she did. I'm what you call a 'Renaissance Man'. Cookin' bunny pancakes, makin' beds, drawin' nude pics of my lesbian friends and then converting them -- nothing's beyond my scope."

Buffy gave his butt a playful smack, and then snuck in a quick grope. "Okay, I guess we both should get a move on before the whole day slips away, huh?"

"Hmm, I think I'll take a camera to the park. Sunshine likes havin' her picture taken." Spike went to his camera drawer and got out his favorite digital camera.

"I didn't think of it until now, but how come you didn't whip out a camera last night to take some steamy pictures of me, Mr. Professional Pornographer?" Buffy smirked. "Oops, I meant, Photographer."

Spike looked at her, arching an eyebrow. "Bloody hell... if I knew you'd be into it, I would've setup the tripod. I reckoned boudoir photography was more of a second time kind of thing."

Buffy smirked. "Well, there's always next time."

Spike smirked back and waggled his eyebrows.

And then Buffy felt shy again with what she was about to propose. She looked down and toed the carpet. "Um... if you don't mind a little more of a delay, you could follow me back to my place. I could change into fresh clothes and go to the dog park with you and Sunshine. Unless you think she'd like it better with just you and her?" She looked up at him expectantly.

Spike smiled and put his arms around Buffy, giving her lips a light kiss. "I think that sounds like a brilliant plan. I hope to have you over here much, much more in the future, so it'd be best to have my two favorite girls get used to havin' each other around. I want my daughter and my new girlfriend to get along."

That really was very important to Spike. Drusilla had been cold to Sunshine, and had even threatened to get rid of the dog someday while Spike was at work. He wanted his furry daughter to have a proper, doting mum (or stepmum) this time around. It touched him that Buffy cared about Sunshine's feelings.

Buffy grinned and wrapped her arms around him. "Good. I'd like to go with, but I wouldn't want to intrude on Father/Daughter time."

"You could never intrude, luv. You're always welcome. I think you won Sunshine over again by giving her a banger from the table."

She giggled. "Heehee, banger. You're so cute; I love the way you talk."

Just as they were about to kiss again, they noticed Sunshine sitting in the doorway to the bedroom, looking at them with her leash on the floor in front of her.

"Well, someone's trying to give me a strong hint," Spike said, raising an eyebrow. "Ain't exactly subtle, is she?"

"Don't you keep the leash up on a hook by the front door?" Buffy asked, frowning a bit.

"Yeah."

"How'd she get it down from the hook? She's too little to reach it."

"She can be a bloody ninja when she wants to be," Spike said with fatherly pride.

Buffy was surprised Sunshine hadn't found a way to turn the doorknob and get into the bedroom by herself last night -- like a very cute and fluffy version of those Velociraptors in 'Jurassic Park'. It appeared that Sunshine could accomplish anything she put her mind to. And Buffy was starting to think the dog really was capable of taking action photos of them with her iPhone.





Spike decided to call Xander after they got back from the dog park -- Spike and Buffy both agreed (with evil grins) that making their friends wonder for a few more hours how mad they were would be fun.

Sunshine seemed back to her old self, yipping happily, trotting, and wagging her tail as the three of them headed out the front door.

Spike and Buffy shared one more soft kiss before getting in their respective cars.

Buffy sighed happily as she put her seatbelt on. She was amazed everything had turned out so well: she loved Spike, and he loved her; they were going to spend the day (and then hopefully another night) together; Spike had chosen her over the evil Drusilla, even when he hadn't known if Buffy would return his feelings; and Sunshine was being friendly again.

Buffy's lesbian friends would no doubt be shocked to learn about her 'conversion', some of them would probably be disappointed in her too. Willow and Tara wouldn't be upset with her, but they would definitely be shocked. It wouldn't be easy for Buffy to explain why she suddenly liked dick now (Spike's dick, specifically). Well, telling them about the mind-numbingly intense orgasms Spike had given her might help her friends understand. But they'd better not get curious enough to want to try him out for themselves -- Spike's mystical cock belonged to only Buffy (and himself, of course). Buffy felt an inexplicable bond with Spike -- not just a physical one, but a spiritual one -- that told her he was 'the one' for her.

And Buffy planned on trying to get over her aversion to the dog looking at her and Spike while they were busy. It wasn't fair to poor Sunshine to shut the bedroom door and make her feel like she was being punished for something. And considering how the dog tended to go into a self-induced coma when there was lots of yelling (even happy yelling), it probably wouldn't be an issue anyway.

Buffy felt such a sense of peace and happiness, like she'd finally found what she'd been looking for her whole life. She smiled and glanced in the rearview to look at Spike in the car behind hers.

And Spike was smiling back at her, feeling the exact same thing.


THE END


Chapter End Notes:
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