Buffy sighed and moaned, barely awake, memories of her most delicious dream still fresh in her sleepy mind. She and Spike were in his bed, and he was doing things to her body and making her feel pleasure in ways she'd never thought possible. Something tightened around her abdomen and tickled her shoulder, making aware of where she was. Spike was pulling her closer and planting kisses on her shoulder. Opening her eyes, she smiled and put her hand on his, pressing back against his erection.
"Morning, sleepyhead. Did you have a good rest, or did I wake you from an important dream?" he said, nipping her earlobe.
She turned in his arms, running her fingers through his tousled curls. "No, I was just waking up, but it was less of a dream and more of a reenactment of last night." She felt herself blush as she spoke the words.
"I can't believe you're blushing after last night, Miss Maybe-You-Can-Show-Me-A-Few- Things." He squeezed her bottom for emphasis.
"Hey! What do you think you're doing? Some of us have things to do today."
"I was enjoying the feel of your lovely biteable ass. I didn't think you'd mind." He was making his way down her neck toward her breasts.
Buffy pulled his head up to meet her gaze. "I've got to go into work today, at least for a while. Let's have some breakfast and go from there. Okay?"
She gave him a quick kiss and got up to find her dress.
Spike was disappointed. He'd thought they'd spend the day together, but he realized she did have an obligation to her job. He was being a selfish prat, and she didn't need to worry over his insecurities. He was sure she had enough of her own, so he got up and pulled on his boxers and a t-shirt so they could head downstairs.
Buffy started the coffee, while Spike searched the contents of the fridge for breakfast.
"I think I can whip up some omelets with some sausage and cheese, and there are some English muffins and orange juice too," he said, closing the fridge with his hip, his hands full of ingredients.
Buffy came over to help him with the food. "Sounds yummy! The coffee will be ready soon. Can I help you with anything? I don't want you to do all the work." She hooked her arms around his waist and kissed him between his shoulder blades.
Spike turned and pulled her into his embrace. "Sure, love. You can get the eggs ready while I cook the sausage. How's that sound?" He kissed the tip of her nose and swatted her bottom, shooing her away.
"What's on the agenda for you today?" she asked, smiling while she cracked the eggs.
"Well, I thought I would start planning our trip, if it's all right with you. I think we should do it in the next two to three weeks. Don't you?" He waited for her reply as he strained some of the grease into a bowl and set the sausage aside, turning to face her.
Buffy's expression showed the least bit of hesitancy. She'd stopped whipping the eggs and seemed lost in her thoughts as she chewed on her bottom lip. "Um, I guess…if that's what you want. I can ask Benny about it today."
Spike turned her cheek, so she would meet his gaze. "It's not all about me, kitten. You have a say in this as well."
He took the eggs from her and poured half in the pan.
"I understand that. I really do, but I'm just still a little…I don't know how to describe it. Plus, there's telling Mom I'm going, and that's so not a conversation I want to have."
She walked over and put her arms around his waist, leaning her head against his back.
Spike turned in her arms and brushed her hair off one of her shoulders. He gazed down into her eyes hoping to convey his emotions clearly.
"I meant what I said. If you're not ready, then we don't have to go yet. I just think I should at least give some thought to our plans. I don't have to make any reservations, and as for your mother, I'll gladly tell her for you. However, I think that's something you need to do for yourself. I think it would make you feel better to stand up to her, and tell her how you really feel. It can't be good for you to keep taking shit from her time and time again."
Buffy stepped away so he could flip the omelet onto a plate and turn off the stove.
"No, I do want to go. It's facing my mom that bugs me," she said, chewing her bottom lip and leaning against the counter with her arms folded. "She won't be happy, I'm sure, and I don't feel like getting into it with her. She always manages to make me feel small and inferior."
Unshed tears glistened in her eyes.
Spike went to her, and she unfolded her arms to embrace him, her head resting on his chest.
"Buffy, love, listen to me because you need to understand what I'm saying. You can't be responsible for Joyce's feelings. Pardon me for speaking ill of your mother, but she's always been a selfish bitch when it comes to you and your needs." Buffy put her arms around his waist, pulling him closer.
"She puts on an act of being this caring loving person, but if that were true she'd not have done half the things she's done to you, and what she did yesterday made me see exactly what she is." Spike felt her body shake with silent sobs.
"She knew my Mum for twenty-four years, there's simply no way she could have not known Mum would have been horrified by the show she put on here, but she did it to take credit for herself and no other reason." Buffy held him tighter, soaking his shirt with her tears.
"You are so much more than she is! You should never allow her to make you feel small or inferior again. You have more kindness and love in your little finger than she does in her entire body. I want you to stand up for yourself. If you want me to be by your side when you do, I'll be there, happily. I love you so bloody much, and I don't plan on losing you again." Spike brushed her hair away, lightly kissing her temple.
She gazed up at him with tear-stained cheeks, then leaned up to kiss his chin.
"That's very chivalrous of you, but I think it's something I have to do own my own." She poked him in the chest. "And I believe you have another omelet to make. I'll get you a cup of coffee and toast the English muffins while you do that. Okay?"
She went to the cupboard and found two healthy sized mugs, filling each with coffee making sure to make his just the way he liked.
While Spike made the omelets, he thought of ways to tell her he wanted to spend a few days in New York with her on the way to England and on the way back. He wondered what she would think of the idea. Would she think he was being too pushy? He wanted her to get glimpse of the way he lived, meet his friends, and see if she might be at home there as well. He loved Buffy with all his heart, but he thought they needed a fresh start in a new place that wasn't Sunnydale. He hoped to convince her of this, or better yet, he hoped she'd come to the conclusion on her own. He was taken from his musings by the sound of her voice.
"Spike, don't you think that's done? It's looking a little crispy around the edges."
He plated the slightly crispy omelet and turned off the gas. "Sorry, just living in my head for a moment." He took the omelets and sat down. "Which do you want, crispy or slightly cold?"
He tried to maintain a straight face, but his eyes gave him away. Soon they were both laughing.
"I believe I'll have the crispy one, please," Buffy said in a very proper tone of voice.
"As you wish madam, I'll be happy to eat the cold one. The pleasure of your company is nourishment enough for me," he said, clutching her hand to his heart in dramatic gesture.
Buffy rolled her eyes, pulling her hand away and pecking him on the lips. "Be quiet and eat before I have to get a shovel. It's getting a little deep in here."
She shoved half a toasted, buttered English muffin in his mouth before he could speak.
"I've got get going in a minute. I need to stop at home and change. Would you like to come by for lunch?" She reached over and wiped the crumbs off his face, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips.
Spike's eyebrows rose, and he smirked at her. "It depends. Will there be any mocking or abusing of me? If the answer's no, then yess-, I'd love to meet you for lunch and see where you work. Just tell me when."
Soon he was walking her to the door. He had directions and a date to meet her at 11:30.
She pulled him in for a long ravishing kiss and left him with an "I love you. See you at lunch."
Buffy was just about get in her car when she heard her mother's voice coming from down the street. She cringed in spite of herself and thought for a moment she'd pretend she hadn't heard it, but she knew that wouldn't work.
"Buffy, dear what are you doing?" Joyce asked, as she came to stand directly in front of her.
"Hi, Mom, I'm going home to get changed for work. I'm really in a hurry—"
"No, I mean what are you doing at Anne's house in your clothes from yesterday?"
Buffy turned, took a deep breath and summoned all her courage. "I spent the night with Spike, Mom. Is that a problem for you?"
Joyce's shoulders straightened and her mouth formed a thin line. "I thought you were smarter than that, but I guess I was wrong. You know he's just using you." Her tone was as venomous as the look in her eyes. "He probably has someone waiting for him in New York. You're just convenient while he's here."
Rage boiled inside Buffy like liquid fire. She hadn't felt as close to slapping her mother as she did right now.
"You have no earthly idea what you're talking about. He loves me, and I love him. In fact, we're going to England together in a few weeks to scatter Anne's ashes. We're going to make a life together with or without your approval. I'm done here. I have things to do. When you can talk to me civilly, call me, until then, don't bother."
Buffy slammed the car door and drove away. In her rear-view mirror she could see a dumbstruck Joyce still standing there. Buffy felt extremely light, almost giddy. She knew she had a lifetime of things to get off her chest where Joyce was concerned, but she'd just taken the first step.
When Buffy got to work, she found Benny in his office and asked if he had time to talk with her. He invited her to have a seat.
"How are things going? Are you holding up okay?" Benny asked.
"I'm doing better than I expected. William has been a great comfort to me." Buffy picked at some imaginary lint on her skirt.
"This is Anne's son? I didn't think you two were on the best of terms." Benny seemed intrigued by this turn of events.
"We weren't, but we decided to put aside our differences. I wanted to talk to you about taking my vacation time. William thinks we should go in the next two to three weeks. Today's Wednesday. What do you think about two weeks from Monday?"
Buffy could feel Benny's eyes on her. He was one of the most observant people she knew. She crossed her legs and smoothed her skirt for the second time, awaiting his reply.
"Well, Buffy, you know I trust your judgment, and if you trust William to make that decision, then it's all right by me. I shouldn't have any problem getting someone to take your case load for those two weeks, and I wouldn't mind meeting this William either."
Inside, Buffy sighed with relief. "That's wonderful, Benny. You don't know how much this means to me. As for meeting William, he's coming for lunch today at 11:30, so if you're around I'd love to introduce you." Buffy stood and turned for the door. She felt Benny's hand on her shoulder.
"Buffy, I'm glad to see you happy, even though the circumstances weren't ideal. Come by before you head to lunch."
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to my betas: Abby, Dawnofme, and Diebirchen. Banner by Tanit. Also, thank you to all who read and review and even those who read and don't. I'm just happy to share my work.