[Reviews - 91]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Microsoft Word Chapter or Story | ePub eBook Chapter or Story | Printer Chapter or Story

Has been viewed 2121 times

- Text Size +




Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to my wonderful betas, Abby, Dawnofme, and Marilyn. The beautiful banner is by Tanit.


I don't own any BTVS or Angel characters. I write purely for pleasure.
Buffy called Joyce to let her know they were going to make the arrangements and plan the wake and promised to call again once everything was completed. Joyce agreed to start calling friends and letting them know of Anne's passing. Buffy's only request was that they not descend upon the house. Spike was having a difficult enough time as it was without well-intentioned strangers knocking on his door. Buffy was firm in insisting that they could pay their respects at the funeral or the wake. She only hoped Joyce would keep her end of the bargain



As Buffy clicked off the phone, she turned and ran straight into Spike's lean, muscular chest.



"Oh, sorry," she said, taking a step back. "I thought you were still upstairs. I called Mom to let her know what's happening and she's going to tell the casserole brigade to stand down. I'm ready to go whenever you are. I'll be happy to drive."





Spike smiled. "I don't know, pet, have your driving skills improved in the last eleven years?"





Buffy playfully slapped his arm. "You'll just have to wait and see." She was hoping to bring some levity to the daunting task ahead of him.





It was a long difficult day. First, they had to go to the hospital to sign forms before heading to the funeral home. Spike held up well until they went over the arrangements. This seemed to be the most difficult part for him. He was in a daze during the actual arrangements, but was on the verge of breaking down when it came time to choose something for her ashes. He had to leave the room a couple of times, and Buffy finally put a comforting arm around him, helping him choose a beautiful mahogany box for Anne's ashes. Finally, they went to the church to speak with the priest about the service. Spike went over Anne's wishes, and when they'd arranged everything, they both left feeling emotionally drained. . The arrangements had taken a toll on Spike. He looked emotionally and physically exhausted. His face was paler than normal, and he was oddly silent. Buffy suggested they go somewhere for a late lunch, and he readily agreed, as if he too wanted to put that part of the day behind him.





Buffy suggested Vino's, a local brewpub.







"I can't believe this place is still around. We used to come here all the time. Remember? The last time we came here was just after we graduated. You didn't want to come, but I dragged you anyway." Spike smiled at the memory.





"Yes, I remember. It was some awful hardcore punk band, The Orange something-or-others. I hated every minute of it," Buffy said.





"Agent Orange, and I don't think it was a bad as you remember," Spike said, with a look of nostalgia.







They went inside and placed their order at the counter and Spike insisted on paying.







He found them a table in the corner. "I can't believe they still have these postcard things, so the servers can tell which order is yours. That's brilliant!"







When Buffy's cell began to ring, she looked at the caller and decided not to answer.







"Who was that calling? I…I'm sorry that was rude of me," Spike said, sheepishly.







"No. No, it's fine. It was just Willow. I'll call her back later." Buffy put the phone away in her purse.





"I'm guessing she doesn't know you're doing this with me." Spike gave her an inquiring look.





Buffy took a sip of her beer. "She doesn't have a clue."





"I can't imagine she'd be too happy." Spike took a long swig of his beer. "I mean she's hardly one of my biggest fans" He grabbed his cigarettes from his jacket pocket.







"You're right. She's very protective of me."







"I'm going to go outside and have a quick smoke before our food gets here. You don't mind, do you?" Spike stood and picked up the pack off the table.







"No, you go ahead. I'll be fine." Seeing him walk away remind her of the night he'd left her room after breaking up with Dru Harrington.







Buffy sat there lost in her thoughts.





It was early spring, and Buffy was preparing for bed when she heard Spike knocking on her window.



What in the world, could he want?



She raised the sash to let him in and he sauntered over and flopped down on her bed. "Evenin' love."



"Don't you 'evenin' love', me! I can't remember the last time you were here, now you think you can just waltz in here like everything's just peachy? Where's the Queen of the Loons?" Buffy stood, staring at him indignantly in her blue flannel sheep pajamas



"Broke up with her. Found out she was shagging half the bloody school," Spike said. His face was red, and if a person could actually shoot steam from his ears, Buffy imagined he would be doing that right about now.



"I'm sorry, I could have told you that, but I thought you'd never listen to me. You've barely spoken to me in ages." Buffy walked over and sat beside him. She really had no idea what to do. He looked more pissed off than hurt.



"You mean, this whole sodding time you knew and never once made a peep?" Spike stood and began to pace. "You're right though, I wouldn't have listened to you. My head was too far up my arse! I'm sorry for neglecting you. I'm a stupid git. Forgive me?"



"Of course I forgive you, but you're going to have to do some major groveling, mister." She gave him a wicked smirk. "Did you love her?" Buffy asked, dreading the answer.



"No. She was different. Something new and exciting. She's been places and seen things we haven't. Buffy, don't you ever wonder what it's like outside Sunnydale?" Spike stopped pacing and knelt before her.



"Well, yeah…I'd like to travel, see the world, but I like home too."



"Have you applied to any out of state colleges or any that aren't UC Sunnydale?" Spike asked with a hint of mockery in his voice.



"Yes, I've been accepted to Northwestern and Brown as well as a few others, thank you very much." Pride seeped from every syllable she uttered. Take that, Mr. Smarty Pants, she thought.



"I knew you had it you, love! I'm right impressed. Have you chosen yet?"



The fact the Spike seemed genuinely pleased for her sent tingles up her spine.



"Mom and I haven't really had a chance to talk about it. There are a lot of money issues involved, even if I do have scholarships to some of the schools." Buffy tucked her chin as she said this, not wanting to meet his eyes.



He tipped her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. "That's rot, and you know it. There's always financial aid and there're work-study programs. You can make it work if you really want it."



Trying to change the subject she said, "So have you gotten any letters?"



"A few, but I know where I'm going." Spike grinned, then lifted his eyebrows as if he were waiting for her to ask him.



"Where?" She knew he would have his pick of schools, but she was still curious.



"Columbia, full scholarship! Hello, New York—goodbye Sunnydale! I can't wait to see what's out there, to leave this hellhole behind." Spike was so lost in his excitement he didn't see the hurt flash across Buffy's face.



"I'm sure your mom is really proud. You deserve it. You've always been one of the smartest people I know. Congratulations!" She hoped her voice wasn't betraying her true feelings. She was crying inside, the pain of losing him was tearing her in two. She'd just gotten him back and now he was leaving.



"She's chuffed to bits, but she's not so thrilled with the idea of me being across the country. I promised I'd come home every holiday and that seemed to calm her. Listen I have to run, but I want you to think about those schools and talk to your mum. I'll see you tomorrow."



He kissed her forehead and was out the window before she could say a word.



Buffy curled up on her bed, clutching her stuffed pig and began to cry. She knew she wasn't going anywhere. Joyce had made it clear there was no extra money for college, and there was a need for her stay and work at the retirement center while she went to school. Just another added touch from her mother-Buffy's needs and wants never taken into consideration.





"You in there?"





Buffy jumped, startled, and looked up to see that Spike, and their food had arrived while she was lost in her thoughts.





"You looked liked you were doing some serious thinking."





Buffy took another sip of beer. "I'm here. I was just thinking, no big deal."





Spike took a slice of pizza and gave one to Buffy. "So tell me, after Berkeley, where did Willow end up? Did she come back?"





After swallowing her first bite of pizza, Buffy said, "No, she and Oz got married after college and moved to LA. She worked for a software company until Lewis came along." She wiped her mouth carefully as if to make sure there was no stray cheese left behind. "She's been in the mommy business for the last two years. We stay in close contact, calling each other two or three times a week."





"And what of Xander, he still around?" Spike asked, finishing his first slice and going for another.





"He lives in the LA area too. He owns a construction business and is married to a woman named Anya. They don't have any children yet, but according to Anya, they're making a concerted effort daily. She's, uh, very direct to put it kindly."





Spike, so amused by her comments about Xander's wife, almost choked on his beer.





"Sounds the like the whelp's got his hands full with that one," he said after finishing his beer. He ordered another as the waiter passed by.





"What about you, Buffy? Spike realized Buffy was doing all this for him, but never occurred to him she might have a boyfriend. "Do you have someone special in your life? I'm so selfish, taking up all your time, and I've never thought to ask." Spike gazed at her as if he didn't really want to hear the answer.





"No, um, my work keeps me very busy. I don't have much time for socializing."





Thank God, Spike thought.





"Mum told me what you do, and I think it's amazing. To know you're helping children and their families through such a difficult transition must be so rewarding."





"It is, but not every case is perfect. Some are heart-wrenching."





"Buffy, if you don't mind my asking…why did you stay?" Spike tilted his head waiting for a reply.





"Because I just couldn't bear to be apart from my dear mother." Buffy spoke with a venomous tone of voice. "I'm sorry that was uncalled for. She said we didn't have the money for me to go out of state to school, and I had to stay at the retirement home and work. Yet, somehow she managed to travel and see the world."





Spike was almost speechless. He had no idea of the burdens she'd borne. If possible, he felt more guilt now than he had previously. When she finished speaking, she'd bowed her head as if she was embarrassed for saying such things.





"Buffy, pet, please look at me. I don't know what to say. I…I'm sorry seems so hollow and meaningless, especially now. I wish there was a way to take back all the hateful, selfish things I said to you as well. I do mean that from the bottom of my heart. I guess looking back on things. Joyce has always put her needs ahead of yours. I'm glad Mum was here for you, and Joyce said you were there for her in the end. I'm so grateful to you for that, love."





He reached across the table and took her hand, caressing her knuckles. Buffy's eyes filled with unshed tears.





You must login (register) to review.