They arrived back at Anne's late in the afternoon. Buffy was mortified to have let her emotions get the best of her and for spilling her guts to Spike. She'd promised to comfort him, not burden him.
Spike unlocked the door, holding it for Buffy. She immediately noticed the disorder the paramedics left in the living room and went about setting things to rights, picking up pillows and moving the coffee table back into its original place.
"Buffy, that wasn't necessary. I'd have gotten around to it eventually." Spike gazed at her as though she done the most wonderful thing.
"I know, but now you don't have to worry about it." Buffy knew it was a painful reminder for him, and maybe now he could sit in here and watch television or read without his thoughts straying painfully.
Spike was standing outside the living room staring at her with a mixture of sadness and sudden shyness. "Um…can I get you anything? he asked, looking toward the kitchen. "I don't know what's here really, and I haven't had much time to look in the kitchen. Would you like a drink?"
"I'm still pretty full from lunch, but I wouldn't say no to a drink," Buffy said, sitting down on the sofa.
"I'll see if there's some orange juice in the fridge, so we can have screwdrivers. I drank all the whiskey last night." As he made his way to the kitchen he said, "Thank God, it's gone. I don't think I'm up for any more binge drinking."
"I'm glad to hear it. That's just a thousand gallons of badness," she said.
"Found some. It's good to know you're ever the wordsmith. I'll have our drinks in second."
"Hey, were you just insulting me? You'd better knock it off, mister." Buffy smiled, remembering how he used to tease her for her so-called butchering of the English language.
Spike came in with their drinks, handing Buffy hers and sitting down on the sofa close to her. "I wasn't insulting you. As a matter of fact, I find it adorable that you still do it," Spike smirked over the rim of his glass.
Buffy was a bit lightheaded from his flirting and his closeness to her. She had to say something to distract herself from the situation, and she found herself suddenly asking if he'd prepared the obituary for Anne.
Way to go Buffy. Let's torture him some more, she thought.
His mood darkened immediately. The smirk was gone, replaced with a somber gaze. "I know I have to turn it into the paper on Monday, but it's just a sodding painful thing to do." He took a long drink of before he spoke again. "I don't know how I'm going to do it, and I have a fucking PhD in English."
Buffy reached over and put her hand on his knee. "Remember, I told you I would be here to help. Why don't you come over to my place for dinner tomorrow, and we can work on it if you're still having trouble, okay?" she said, hoping this would calm him.
Giving her hand a squeeze, he said, "Hopefully, I'll be done by then, but I'd love to come over for dinner. Give me your address and numbers before you leave, and we can set a time."
Buffy took a swallow of her drink before sitting it on the coffee table. "That sounds like a plan. How does seven sound to you?" she asked. "I'm no chef, but I think I can throw something palatable together, and speaking of food we'll need to call the caterers on Monday for the wake as well. I'll talk to Mom this evening to get an idea of how many people to expect."
Spike gazed at her thoughtfully. "I really have no idea what I would have done had you not come over today. You can't begin to know how much this means to me. I'd be lost without you," he said.
Buffy fidgeted with the hem of top. "It's no problem. Anne was very special to me too. I want to make sure all her wishes are honored."
She took another large swallow of her drink to calm her nerves. Things were getting a little too close for comfort, and Spike seemed oblivious.
"I know how much you and Mum meant to each other." He picked up his glass and took a drink before setting it back down. "It's just hard to wrap my brain around all the kindness you've shown me today."
"It's like I said this morning, I understand what it's like to lose a parent, and I don't think you should have to go through it alone," Buffy said, hoping this would satisfy him.
"Well, whatever the reason, I'm glad you're here," he said, gently squeezing her hand again.
He was so close Buffy could smell him. The hint of aftershave and cigarettes was driving her crazy. She had to get out of there before something happened.
"You know, I'm getting kinda tired. I think I might head home," she said, suddenly moving to get up.
Spike looked confused. "Wait, I thought we were going to look at the envelopes together."
"I…I think I'd like to take mine home and read it privately. That is if you don't mind?" Buffy asked, praying he'd say he didn't.
Spike stood and helped her to her feet. "No, whatever you prefer is fine by me. I'll get a pen and paper." He seemed genuinely disappointed that she was leaving.
Buffy went into the dining room to retrieve her envelope and waited for him.
He came back momentarily with a pad and pencil. "Here you go. Write away."
After Buffy had written her info, she walked to the door with Spike following closely behind. "Well I guess this is good night. I'm going to go home, give Willow a call, and then get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow." She stood waiting for him to say something.
Spike came to stand closer to her. "Good night, Buffy. Thanks again for all you've done today." He reached up to brush tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear and her breath hitched. "I'll see you tomorrow then." He leaned down and gently kissed her lips.
"Yeah, right, tomorrow. I've got to go now." Buffy turned and almost ran to her car, her heart racing. This was the thing she'd been afraid of, letting him in again and getting to close, knowing she'd only lose him again in the end. She didn't think her heart could take that.
Spike slammed the door and leaned against it. "Christ! That went bleeding well!" He paced back and forth in the entryway. "Now she's probably done with me."
Only silence greeted him. He went back into the living room, sat down, polished off his drink and the rest of Buffy's too. Spike contemplated what do next. He supposed he should open the envelope or try writing the obituary.
He opted for the envelope. He went to the dining room to retrieve it and opened it with trembling hands. He sat down and took a deep breath before unfolding the pages, not sure this was such a good idea, but he'd already opened it, so there was no going back. He couldn't put the tiger back in the cage.
As he pored over the letter, he couldn't believe what he was reading. His tears began to flow freely. Anne told him how much she loved him, of course, but she also said she'd been feeling ill for quite some time, but didn't want to bother anyone. Spike's heart constricted with pain. If only his Mum had shared this with him or anyone for that matter, she might still be here, but her stubbornness kept from doing so, and the fact that she was too busy worrying about others to take time for herself. The final part of the letter was the most shocking. Anne requested that he and Buffy travel to England together to a place in Cornwall called Padstow and spread her ashes on the beach there. Spike smiled through his tears at that even in death his Mum was trying to repair things between Buffy and him.
He wondered what Buffy's letter had said, and if it contained the same request about the ashes. Spike thought of Buffy's reaction to reading the letter. Did she even have a passport? Would she do it for Anne's sake or had he ruined all chance of that tonight with the kiss? He could still remember the feel of her lips on his, and it made him long for more. Spike knew he still had feelings for her—still loved her, even after eleven years.
He knew they'd hit some of the highlights of their problem today the restaurant, but she needed to let him say his piece. He hoped she'd allow it soon because he was becoming impatient. Patience had never been one of his virtues, and the way she'd torn out the door just now made him believe he was well and truly buggered.
After he'd broken up with Dru, he began to see Buffy in a whole new light, and he guessed it had been there all along. He'd never thought any of the boys she'd dated had been good enough for her, though she'd never had a steady boyfriend. Things begin to change the day he punched Riley Finn for calling her the "ice queen."
He remembered it as though it were yesterday.
He and Buffy were been in her bedroom. Joyce was off on one of her many trips. He was sitting on her bed with him. She sat in his lap with her head tucked in the crook of his neck as she cried. He buried his face in her hair, murmuring soothing words and inhaling her citrus scent. Her skin was warm and soft to the touch as he stroked her arm. He was in heaven being this close to her.
He thought he heard her mumble something, and they lifted their heads at the same time, bumping noses.
Buffy sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "Oh my God! Did I hurt you? Here you are trying to comfort me, and I'm all with the nearly knocking your nose off."
Buffy's ramblings would have continued, but he lifted her chin and silenced her with a kiss. Her lips were soft and plump and they tasted like peaches. He applied gentle pressure and she opened her mouth to him, kissing him back softly, almost hesitantly. He nibbled on her lower lip then swept his tongue across it and before he knew it her tongue had come into play, tasting the cavern of his mouth. Her hands were in his hair pulling his head closer to her, while he stroked her cheek with one hand and caressed her arm with the other. Spike's lungs burned for oxygen when they finally pulled away.
"Spike, not to sound stupid, but what was that?" she asked, putting a hand on his chest.
"Kitten, if I have to tell you, maybe we should try it again." He gazed at her and grinned.
"No, you meanie! I meant why did you kiss me? Am I your pity case or something?" Buffy lowered her head and looked embarrassed.
He lifted her chin and gazed into her beautiful hazel eyes. "Are you daft, woman? I've been dying to do that. It's just the first opportunity I've had. I thought I'd seize the moment."
Buffy blushed and reached out to caress his angular cheek. "Really? I can't believe it! I never knew, but I'm sure glad I do now. I'd like some more seizing, please," Buffy said, as she leaned in for another kiss.
From that point on they'd been a couple. It hadn't been much of a shock to their close friends. They dated right up until he screwed everything up.
He got up to go upstairs and get his laptop to work on the obituary, willing away any thoughts of Buffy for the rest of the evening.
[Reviews - 91]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | 
Chapter or Story
Has been viewed 1946 times
- Text Size +
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | Chapter or Story - Text Size +
Author's Chapter Notes:
I couldn't do this without my wonderful betas, Abby, Dawnofme, and Diebirchen. The beautiful banner is by Tanit. In this chapter we a bit of the past from Spike's POV. I hope you enjoy
Chapter End Notes:
Did you like? If you did, take a moment, and let me know. I love hearing the different things people like about certain chapters. :)