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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to my betas, Abby, Dawnofme, and Diebirchen. Banner by Tanit

Finally, some answers you've been waiting for. I hope you enjoy.
Buffy carefully chose her outfit for tonight, deciding upon a turquoise knee-length halter dress that accentuated her toned shoulders, and some silver hoop earrings to complete the look. She went with minimal make-up, just blush, eye shadow, and lip-gloss, put her hair up in a loose chignon, and sprayed her pulse points with Jo Malone Orange Blossom perfume. After slipping into her sandals, she hurried back into the kitchen just as the oven timer went off.

She was taking the lasagna out of the oven when the doorbell rang. She looked at the clock, which not surprisingly read 6:45. She put the lasagna on top of the stove and ran toward the front door.

"I'm coming!" she said.

She opened the door to find Spike standing there dressed in faded blue jeans, a black, untucked dress shirt, and a gray jacket. His hair was lacking gel, so it was tousled and curly. Buffy felt her temperature rise from the sight of him, barely noticing the bouquet of blue hydrangeas he held out to her.

"Um, Buffy, can I come in? I think these might need some water," Spike said.

"Oh, sorry. Sure, please come on into the kitchen. These are beautiful. Let me get a vase."

She went to the cabinet to get a vase then to the drawer for scissors to cut the stems.

"I remembered they used to be your favorite, only I know you used to like them best before they changed color. Dinner smells delicious. Did you make it? Weren't you the girl who could only make microwave popcorn and still managed to burn it half the time?" he said, teasingly.

"Well, mister, I'll have you know my culinary skills have much improved. Your mother taught me a thing or two." Her expression softened at his thoughtfulness. "I can't believe you remembered these were my favorite. Thank you so much! You know, they actually do grow a green hydrangea now, but these are beautiful too."

Spike came over to her and caressed her shoulder. He whispered in her ear, "I'm sure they have. Mm, it certainly does smell delicious. I can't wait to taste. The flowers aren't the only beautiful thing here, Buffy. You're gorgeous tonight."

Flustered by his remark, Buffy felt her cheeks turn beet red. She needed to get her mind out of the gutter.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Buffy shook her head. "You'd be surprised. I do know my way around the kitchen. I am a bachelor after all. Who's going to feed me, if I don't feed myself?"

He had her there. She hadn't thought of that. No one was waiting for Spike back in New York. The idea of this gave her hope.

"Why don't you take the foil off the lasagna and put it back in the oven for another ten minutes so it'll get nice and brown. I'll pour us a glass of wine."

Their dinner conversation was relatively mundane. They talked about work and traded horror stories about their chosen professions. Spike complimented her on her skills in the kitchen as they ate and drank their wine, but he seemed anxious to discuss the things they'd talked about on the phone.

Buffy suggested they have their coffee and orange chiffon cake in the living room where they could be more comfortable and Spike agreed. He helped her carry things in from the kitchen and they sat facing each other on the sofa.

"I read Mum's letter. Have you had a chance to read yours?" Spike asked, turning to gaze into Buffy's eyes.

"Yes, I read mine. She told me what she left to me in her will, but the last part was the shock to end all shocks."

Buffy wouldn't look him in the eye and kept smoothing her dress. Spike could feel the tension rolling off her in waves.

"I know. It surprised me too. Do you think it's something you're up for?" Spike bit his lower lip, gazing at her as he anticipated her reply.

She took a sip of her coffee then said, "I don't know. There are so many things involved. I'm just so afraid, and I don't know what to do. I want to honor her wishes, but I don't want to be hurt in the process."

Spike thought she looked so helpless and afraid. Now it was time for to listen to him.

"Buffy, I want to say my piece, and I don't want any interruptions from you until I'm done. Will you do that for me, please?"

"Yes," she said.

"I apologized at Vino's the other day for all the hateful things I said and did, but if I'd known the circumstances I never would have left you. I shouldn't have been nosing through things on your desk that afternoon when I found out you'd not gone though with any of the acceptance letters to any other schools, but you should have been honest with me, love. I thought we were in love. I thought we shared everything, then I found out you'd been lying to me the entire time. I felt so foolish and used, but I still wanted to make it work. When I asked you to go Columbia with me and you refused, telling me to go away, that you didn't want to see me anymore, I thought I would die. It felt like you'd ripped my heart out and stomped on it."

Spike took her hand in his. "If I'd known Joyce was behind it I would have wrung her neck on the spot! I'm here now though, and if you still want me, I'm yours. God help me, Buffy, I don't think I've ever been anyone else's."

By the time Spike finished, tears streaked his cheeks. Buffy appeared overwhelmed by this knowledge. Her eyes were wide and full of emotion. She reached up to wipe an errant tear from his cheek. Her lower lip trembled as if she herself were about to burst into tears.

"There's no way you could have known. I never told anyone that until the other day. I don't know what possessed me to do it then. It wasn't your fault. It was all mine. I should have been honest. Please don't take the blame for something you had no control over." Buffy looked down at her dress, smoothing it with her other hand.

Spike squeezed the hand he was holding and placed his other hand on her cheek to bring her eyes to meet his. "Maybe it was time for you to unburden yourself, share it with someone who cares. Who can help."

"I'm scared, and I can be bitchy and distant when I am. How are things going to work between us when you live across the country?"

"Things will be fine. You're welcome to be as moody as you like with me - remember, I've known you almost my whole life. I told you I'm not letting you go unless you tell me to leave and even then, I might put up a fight. I've made arrangements to take the rest of the summer off. Let's go to England and see what happens. We can move on from there."

Spike didn't want to scare her by telling her they would be stopping off in New York for a couple of days, and she just might find she liked it there as well. That little tidbit would keep for a while.

"Okay, but on one condition. You give me some control in setting the pace. I'm very rusty relationship wise, and I'd like to take things slow. When I'm with you I feel warm and safe, and that makes me nervous. Does that make any sense?" Buffy gazed at him imploringly.

He kissed her on the tip of her nose and said, "On some level, yes, but you have nothing to be afraid of. Anything you want, kitten. You lead, and I'll follow."

"You haven't called me that in forever. I've missed it." She snuggled into his chest and listened to his heartbeat.

"Is that so? I'll have to remember that. Our coffee is cold, but that cake looks delicious. What's say we have a bite?" He kissed the top of her head and leaned down to pick up a fork and piece of cake, feeding her the first bite.

"Mm, that's scrumptious! You have to try it. Make sure you get a bite with the filling and the icing." Her words came out garbled, as her mouth was still half-full of cake.

"It must be good, if you're talking with your mouth full, naughty girl." Spike took a bite and agreed it was indeed very good. He continued to share the cake until there was none left.

"Do you want the other slice?"

"No, I don't think I couldn't eat another bite. I'd rather just snuggle here with you," she said, patting her stomach.

"That works out nicely then because I'm content to just be here holding you," he said, kissing her temple.

She leaned her head up to gaze at him. "I have to go to work in the morning for a staff meeting. I'm not sure if I'll be there all day or not, but I can give you a call if you leave your cell number."

"Sure, I'll leave it before I go. I guess I should probably get going so you can get some rest for work, huh?"

Spike leaned down and brushed her lips with his. Buffy responded eagerly. At first, the kiss was gentle and exploratory, but soon grew in intensity. She moaned as he nibbled her bottom lip and began to chart his way down her neck.

"God, Kitten. You smell and taste so good, like oranges. I could eat you up. You're driving me wild."

Her hands were in his hair, holding him close to her, as if she never wanted to let him go. Spike's hands weren't idle either. They were rubbing sensual circles on her back as he held her close. It was then he noticed she wasn't wearing a bra, and this only heightened his arousal. His hands moved to her sides, caressing the curves of her breasts and this seemed to draw Buffy out of her lust-induced stupor.

She pushed back and said, "It really is getting late. I think we'd better call it a night."

Spike understood, taking both her hand in his. "Right then, no pressure. I had a wonderful evening with you and hope to have many more."

Taking a pen and notebook out of his jacket pocket, he jotted down his cell number and gave it to her. He stood to leave and took her hand, pulling her up.

"Can I help you clean up before I go?"

"No, I'm just going to put the dishes in the dishwasher and put everything else in the fridge, but thanks for the offer." Buffy squeezed his hand and walked him to the door.

Spike put his arms around her waist and rested his forehead against hers. "Thanks again, for a wonderful evening. Don't forget what I said. I meant every word." He lightly kissed her on the tip of her nose.

"I promise. I'll try. Just don't give up on me." Buffy stood on her tiptoes and brushed a soft kiss across his lips. "Good night, Spike."

"Sweet dreams, Buffy."

He walked out into the night air feeling as though a thousand pound weight had been lifted from his body.



Chapter End Notes:
Well, what did you think? I'm dying to know.



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