Author's Chapter Notes:
As always, I want to thank my wonderful betas, Abby, Dawnofme, and Diebirchen. Also, thanks to Tanit for the gorgeous banner.
Buffy's coworkers were surprised to see her when she arrived at work the next morning, and they offered their condolences for her loss. Buffy explained she needed the normalcy of work to keep her mind off other things. After the morning meeting she asked to speak with Benny alone. He agreed and she followed him into his office.

"How are you holding up? I know how hard this has to be for you," Benny said.

"I'm doing all right. It is hard, but I've been helping Anne's son with the arrangements, and we've been there for each other. The funeral is tomorrow at one. It's at Trinity Episcopal, but there's something else I needed to ask you about." Buffy's heart pounded a mile a minute, not from the question she needed to ask, but because of the reason she needed to ask it.

"What is it? You know I'll do anything I can to support you."

"I need to ask you about taking some vacation time. It seems Anne wants us to travel to England and scatter her ashes." She paused, waiting for him to take this in.

"Wow, that's some request." He raised eyebrows, and his mouth was slightly agape.

"How long are you planning to be gone?"

"Well, I'm not sure. I know I have two weeks saved up, but I don't know if I'll need that long. I'll have to ask Sp—William to see what he wants to do. Can I let you know?"

"That's not a problem, as long as you give me enough time to get someone to cover your case load."

Buffy smiled, relieved that things had gone so well. "Thanks so much, Benny. I really appreciate you doing this."

"It's nothing, Buffy. You work very hard and you certainly deserve your time off."

"Thanks, I'll see you later," Buffy said, as she got up to leave his office.

Around lunchtime, she gave Spike a call.

"Hello, kitten, how's your day?"

"Hey you! I see you've already plugged my number in your cell. You're such a geek," she said.

Who was she kidding? She'd put his number in her cell as soon as he gave it to her.

"Oi! Am not, just didn't want to lose it."

Buffy could imagine his sexy pout, his bottom lip protruding slightly and his beautiful blue eyes looking forlorn.

"Whatever you say," she said, closing a file on her computer. "I talked to my boss this morning about taking time off. I have two weeks of vacation time. He said to just give him notice of when I would need it and if I would need it all at once."

"That's brilliant! Listen…"

Buffy heard his voice change. He sounded nervous, and she wondered what the problem was.

"I was wondering if you wouldn't mind bringing over the leftovers from dinner last night…"

"Sure, that's no problem. I'd love to. What time?"

"I wasn't quite finished. Would you mind staying over? I don't think I can face tomorrow alone. I promise to be a gentleman. I'll even sleep on the sofa. Just don't make stay me here alone," he said, his voice heavy with emotion, as if he were a child who'd had a favorite toy taken from him.

Buffy was dumbfounded. The notion of spending the night with him had her heart racing like a runner's for the finish line. Her palms were sweating, and she wiped them on her skirt. She promised to be there for him, lust bunnies be damned!

She took a deep breath before saying, "Sure, just give me time to go by the house and get my things together. I can be there at six-thirty. Is that okay? Do you need me to pick anything up at the market?"

Buffy could hear him sigh in what could only be relief.

"Thank you, love. You've no idea what this means to me, and no thanks, I don't need anything. I went today. I'll let you get back to your work, and I'll see you this evening. Good bye."

Great, just great! Are you ever going to learn? You and Spike? So not good.

When Buffy got off work, she ran by the liquor store for a bottle of wine, just in case Spike had forgotten to buy one. The truth of it was she was stalling. She took her time gathering her things at home for the next day and the leftovers from the previous evening. She was just pulling out of her driveway when her cell rang. She looked at clock in her car and it read 7:15.

Damn!

"Buffy, are you okay?"

"Sure," she said, hesitantly.

"I'm sorry, you just had me worried. You're over a half an hour late."

"I just had a couple of things to do, and I guess I didn't realize the time," she said, unable to keep the annoyance out of her tone.

"I'm sorry if you're annoyed with me, but I was worried, and I wouldn't have had to call if you'd let me know you were to be going late."

He sounded as if he were using all his patience. She could practically hear his jaw clenching and unclenching.

Buffy gripped the steering wheel and sighed in frustration. "I'm sorry. I wasn't aware I had to give you a schedule of my life so you could know where I was at all times."

"You know what? Just forget it! Just forget I ever asked to do a sodding thing for me! Go back home to your cozy little house and fucking forget it!" he said, and the line went dead.

Buffy knew she'd hurt him. She had a clear picture of him pacing the room with clenched fists, probably on the verge of tears, and it was all because of her and her fears. She pulled out the drive and headed toward Anne's to make things right. She knew she had to apologize and be honest. She only hoped he'd calm down a bit before she got there.

When Buffy arrived, she left her stuff in the car, only bringing the food and wine. She came around to the back door to find him sitting on the steps in a billow of smoke, a bottle of beer between his knees.

He took another inhale of the cigarette exhaling it in her direction. "What are you doing here? I thought I told you not to come." His voice was hoarse and weary.

His shoulders were slumped in defeat, but she couldn't help but notice his well-defined chest, even in the ratty old Pogues t-shirt he'd had since high school.

"I came to apologize for earlier. It was completely uncalled for, and you had every right to be concerned. I was a complete bitch. Thank you for caring. I'm not used to people — men — looking out for my welfare. At least not in a long while, and it took me by surprise."

Buffy looked down at the ground and scuffed her foot in the grass. "Look. The truth is I was stalling. I got scared about being alone with you for so long that I tried to take as much time as possible to get here. That's the horrible, honest truth."

She sighed and rubbed her temple with one hand, not wanting to meet his eyes for fear of what she might see.

Spike dropped the cigarette in the empty beer bottle, causing a hissing noise as it hit the remnants of liquid at the bottom. He stood and walked slowly to her, reaching out with one hand to cup her cheek, making her meet his gaze.

"You have no need to be sorry. I acted like a complete git after I promised to be there for you through all your moods." He stroked her cheek with the pad of his thumb. "I had no right to yell at you, and I didn't mean any of it. Of course, I want you here. No place else I'd rather you be. Was just running my stupid gob."

He kissed her forehead and said, "Looks like dinner's here, so what's say we go in and have some?"

Spike uncorked the bottle of wine he'd bought earlier that day and poured two glasses as Buffy heated the lasagna in the microwave. He'd gotten some fresh bread to go along with it as well. He hoped this was the end of the awkwardness. He hated how he'd lost his temper with her earlier. He'd forgotten just how infuriatingly independent she could be at times.

He handed her a glass of wine and proposed a toast. "Here's to a lovely evening with no sign of the git me or the bitchy you," he said, with a smirk.

"Hey! You just called me a bitch, mister!"

"Oi! I did not. You called yourself one. I was just reiterating the fact." He laughed at her mock indignation.

"You are so gonna pay for that, and when you least expect it, too." She smiled and rubbed her hands together evilly. "Just you wait! I remember your weaknesses, William Jameson."

It had been so long since she'd used his real name. It felt nice to hear it from her lips. He loved it when she used to call him Will.

Spike's eyebrows rose and he clutched his chest. "Oh, whatever will I do? I would say I'm shaking in my boots, but my feet are bare."

Buffy playfully slapped him on the arm. "I'd keep my guard up if I were you. I'm very sneaky you know." She clapped her hands together, making a loud noise. "It'll happen just like that, and you'll never know what hit you."

"Okay, okay. I get it. Now quit with the idle threats and let's eat."

They continued their light-hearted banter through dinner and dessert, polishing off the bottle of wine.

Once they put away everything from dinner, they opened the second bottle of wine and decided to watch some television in the living room. Spike sat at the end of the sofa, and Buffy snuggled next to him. They were more than halfway through the second bottle of wine and channel surfing. Neither could agree on anything for any length of time.

"Is it just me, or do we have the attention spans of someone with ADD minus their meds?" Buffy said, running her hands along his chest.

"I'd say it's just telling that all the stuff on the telly is tripe."

He was basking in the feel of her hands on his chest when suddenly she struck out of nowhere and began to tickle him mercilessly, hitting every spot guaranteed to make him cry with laughter. She was straddling him now and going in for the kill—his armpits. Spike was laughing so hard he had tears running down his cheeks.

"Kitten, please, I surrender !" he said, gasping for air.

"Nope. Not good enough. You have to say 'Buffy is not only the most pleasant person I know, she is also the Queen of Sneakyness'."

She gave a triumphant smile.

"Why is it that you're not even the least bit ticklish? This is so unfair! What else do I get if I make your little speech?" he asked, teasingly.

"Just lucky I guess. What do you want?" she asked, a little puzzled and nervous.

Spike grabbed her arms. "Now that I've got you, I think for pain and suffering you should give us a kiss." He smiled up at her and said his lines, "Buffy is not only the most pleasant person I know, she is also the Queen of Sneakyness. Now, where's my kiss?"

Buffy was sitting astride him and could feel the evidence of his arousal between her thighs. This did nothing but stir her own. She leaned down and sucked his bottom lip into her mouth, tasting wine and cigarettes. His mouth opened and she took that as an invitation to explore with her tongue, which he sucked on gently for a moment before the kiss grew hungry.

The sounds she was making were driving him crazy. He unwittingly arched into her heat and she ground down on him.

He kissed her neck and whispered in the shell of her ear, "Oh, Buffy, your skin's so soft. My beautiful girl."

His hands moved from her arms to her waist. One hand travelled up to cup her breast, and Buffy moaned low in her throat. Spike's mouth was back on hers as the kiss intensified. He squeezed her breast, pinching the nipple between his thumb and forefinger, wishing it were his mouth. He felt Buffy pulling back and he stopped.

"This is so wrong of me," Buffy said. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a tease. I just get carried away when I'm with you. You deserve better than that."

She put her head in her hands as if she were going to cry.

"There's nothing wrong with what we feel, and there's nothing wrong with you wanting to take things slowly. You're not being a tease. You told me up front how things were, and I understand. I'm afraid you're stuck with me. Can you handle that? I'll even sleep on the couch like I promised."

She looked at him a smiled with tear-filled eyes. "I believe I can. I'm not throwing you out of your bed, and I don't think I could bear to sleep in Anne's room."

"Good. Now I'm going to get the rest of your things from the car, and then we can get to bed. That sound good? You think you can stay on your side?"

He hoped to hell he could.

"I'll try my best. Thank you. I'll see you upstairs."


Chapter End Notes:
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