Catch’s mind was a whirl of activity, memories long repressed coming to the surface, as if they needed to be remembered one last time before he bit the bullet – literally, he realized.
What had started out as the need for a surrogate family had quickly become much more than that. His friends had tried; they really had, to keep him off the hard shit. That wasn’t they were about. They looked out for each other, they stood together united in face of the stereotypes and judgment, the only real crime any of them were guilty of was loving the wind in their hair as they out-raced their demons.
But Catch had made the wrong decision, traveled down the wrong path and now it was catching up with him. He should have listened when they told him that Ben and his ‘friends’ were bad news, should have listened when Clem begged him not to get into the shit the Bloods were known to get their hands into. But he hadn’t, and now here he was, tied to a fucking chair and still not regretting a moment of it, not in his heart.
All the wrong decisions he had made had led him to the most right thing in his now-bleak world: Anne.
***
Buffy stopped the bike a few streets away from her destination, not wanting the loud sound to tip anyone off about her arrival. Intel had informed her that there was only three people holding him, but three very dangerous, very pissed off people. Eve, Lindsay, and Ben.
She ran up to Lorne and Giles (Lorne’s second in command) who, along with a squad of people she didn’t know and didn’t care to at the moment – now was not the time to socialize – were currently kneeling under the windows of the warehouse Catch was in.
“What’s the plan?” she asked in a frantic whisper.
“We’re going to wait for Angel to get here so he can try to negotiate the hostage out.”
Buffy saw red. “Angel? You’re fucking joking right? That guy couldn’t talk a seventeen year old naïve, idealistic virgin into his bed.”
Lorne shook his head at her, “I can feel how angry you are Summers but that’s the way it’s got to be. Orders came from higher up the chain of command.”
“I don’t think so” she hissed and stood up in front of the large uncovered window, pulling the trigger. The sound of shattering glass and a man screaming sent them all into action.
Giles kicked in the door and they were in, fuck compromise, they’d taken her boyfriend and she didn’t give a flying fuck about protocol.
She could see Catch in the corner, eyes wide but unable to speak because of the tape around his mouth. What was he trying to tell her?
She heard the click of a gun sound behind her, oh…she turned her eyes to him, trying to convey her goodbyes.
He was thrashing around in the chair like a madman.
The words she wanted so badly to tell him never sounding as the world went black and Buffy Summers hit the ground.
Giles whipped his head to the left, just in time to see his favorite agent fall. “Buffy” he screamed out, rushing to the girl whose neck was seeping blood and wasn’t moving.
Catch couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t fucken’ breath. She was gone. Why was there no air in here? She was gone….that’s why his frantic mind supplied.
Another shot rang out and Lindsay fell down dead, blank eyes staring lifelessly at the ceiling.
Someone somewhere had taken out Ben but no one cared, there was nothing to celebrate; there was an agent down.
***
Buffy opened her eyes slowly, the bright lights burning her sensitive eyes, her throat felt too tight to talk.
She felt a hand on hers and looked to its owner, “Is he okay?”
Giles held back a sob and nodded, “He’s alive, he’s not okay. He thinks your dead.”
“Why?” she croaked out.
“Angels orders. He didn’t want word getting out to any of the wrong people that you were still fighting the good fight. Not until he’s sure there’s no one else coming after you.”
“Asshole…always thinks he knows what’s best for me…see him?”
Giles shook his head, “We don’t know where he is. The agents we had following him lost his tail and he hasn’t emerged on our radar since.”
Tears stung her eyes, “I quit.”
“I know” the older man said with a rueful smile, “I knew you would.”
She squeezed his hand, “Leave soon?”
Giles was constantly amazed by her, she was so strong, so resilient. A bullet to the back of her neck hadn’t taken her down, hadn’t stopped her, she definitely had something on her side.
“Not for a while Buffy. The bullet…well, you’re lucky to be alive. You’re going to need physio and a shitload of recovery time before you’re able to leave.”
The tears fell now, the longer she was stuck in here the less chance she had of finding him.
She wanted to try and argue with what he said, to lift herself out of the bed and find the boy who had become a man for her but she couldn’t, she could barely raise her arms.
***
It had been 147 days since he’d seen her, and 147 days since he wished he was dead.
He’d seen his angel fall but she was no fallen angel, she had burned bright and pure until the very end. The look in her eyes that day haunted him nightly. He would wake up shaking and clutching the sheets that should have her wrapped in them next to him.
His Anne was gone.
He knew what she had been trying to tell him, her eyes far too expressive for an agent undercover.
‘I love you’ they had told him. ‘I love you I love you I love you’. They had practically screamed at him to understand. The small, peaceful, smile on her face was what made him wake up screaming in the dead of night. He had seen her face register the metallic click of the gun behind her, seen it register the finality of her situation, and seen her come to terms with it because she knew he was okay. And then he’d seen her shot dead.
He had screamed and screamed until his mouth was bleeding around the tape, and then he’d screamed some more.
He’d managed to get away from the agents and found his way to a small town that reminded him of Sunnydale in the middle of nowhere.
He had yet to speak to a single person in the area. He had stayed clean though, the only gift he was capable of giving to her memory.
She had saved him and he in turn had killed her. Her reckless abandon in the face of his safety was what did it, he was to blame, but everyday he saved her. He moved a little faster, getting away from Ben or sometimes he broke free of the chair and took the bullet for her, it didn’t matter really because while he saved her everyday, he watched her die again every night in his dreams. Every fucking night.
He didn’t know what day it was, there was no point in keeping track anymore. He closed his eyes and welcomed the nightmares, he had no picture of his angel, and the nightmares kept her alive.
He stumbled out of bed at 3:13 in the morning, which was the time whoever was smashing at his door had decided to pop by for a visit.
“I’m coming” he roared out angrily, flinging open the door.
Catch didn’t move, didn’t breathe, and didn’t blink – he couldn’t. He couldn’t even register that what he was seeing wasn’t a new twist to his nightmares.
Her hair was whipping around her face in the winds that had come with the rain storm and she was soaked to the bone.
“Can I come in?”
It was the sound of her voice that did it to him, broke the spell, and broke the dam inside him. Sobs wracked his body as he pulled his girl into his arms, back from the dead.
His hands were everywhere at once, testing her flesh, making sure it was real. He couldn’t voice the millions of questions running through his head, if he did, she might disappear, and logic might step in and make him realize this was all just the fevered dream of a man driven mad.
His tongue delved into her mouth and she melted into him and when his hands reached down to grab hold of her ass to lift her up she wrapped her legs around him without hesitation.
The sounds of his desperate whimpers were driving her crazy as he walked them over to the bed where he laid her down without ever having to break their kiss.
Breathing could wait.
Buffy moaned into his mouth as he began to grind his boxers-only covered erection into her.
He broke the kiss to run his tongue along the smooth column of her neck, one hand coming up to squeeze a breast gently while the other slid his boxers down and then her skirt. Her shirt he just tore open and she couldn’t care less.
When they were both left without clothes and panting his nimble fingers dove into her while her hand reached down to wrap around his erection, pumping him furiously.
He settled himself between her legs and sunk in slowly, almost coming undone at the heat she radiated from the inside out while Buffy’s hands pulled him back down for another kiss.
The pace was furious, almost surreal, her inner muscles clenching with almost every thrust of his cock.
She somehow realized through the haze that surrounded them that he was talking.
“Not real…need you…can’t be real.”
Her heart broke. “Open your eyes” she pleaded and when she did she fell apart, tears stinging her eyes.
“I’m real baby, I’m here…I’m here”
“Anne”, it was a single word, a word that felt wrong and dirty.
“Buffy” she said fiercely, wrapping her legs around his hips, forcing him in deeper and harder and arching her back as he fucked her.
It took a moment for him to understand, “Buffy”, it was a single word, a word that held so much awe and passion that she felt herself coming undone.
“My beautiful Buffy” he groaned, a hand sneaking between their bodies to rub her clit and she writhed underneath him, her mouth pressing a kiss into his shoulder.
“So tight baby, so warm” he ground out, “Need you to cum for me Buffy…please, cum for me.”
And she did, her inner muscles clenching around him over and over again as he thrust into her relentlessly, desperately seeking his release – release from everything: his sexual frustration, his pain, his haunted dreams, the walking nightmare that had become his life.
It was when she bit his neck that he came undone, pumping his seed into her wet and wanting pussy while he roared.
It was hours later when they spoke, their hands and meaningful gazes speaking when they dared not.
“How?” came the softly spoken question, breaking them away from their reveries.
“I didn’t die…obviously. The bureau didn’t want anyone to know I made it in case someone would come after me.”
He nodded, it made sense but they must have known how much the thought that he had lost her had killed him.
“How did you find me?” he asked after a moment of silence, pulling her in closer to his body, her small hand resting on his heart.
“How could I not?”
He smiled then for the first time in 147 days, 146 in actuality – because today didn’t count, did it?
“Buffy…I like the sound of that, suits you.”
She smiled into his chest, her fingers running lazy patterns over the smooth expanse of skin.
“I love you Buffy”
‘Don’t say it back’ a small voice in her head answered – you’ll jump, you always jump after you say it.
She bit back a frown, he wasn’t hers, not really anyway, it was time to give him back.
She smiled and looked into his eyes, leaning in for a kiss that left them both breathless.
“I love you Catch, I always will”
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Dominique: I wanted to thank you again for your ideas, your insights, and your support of this story. I only hope I managed to do it justice
xx
L.
xx
L.
Chapter End Notes:
This chapter is dedicated to Dominique and the awesome ideas she gave me!