The first time Buffy trained with Spike had been a memorable experience for her, not least because it was also the first time she had seen him in sunlight.

She knew that Spikes heart didn’t beat and he drank blood to survive. She knew he was at least half vampire, at least half dead, but he seemed more alive to her then anyone she had ever met. Despite his clothing choices he was like a flash of colour in a black and white world. When he wasn’t making her angry he was making her laugh. She was never bored around him, and never tired of his company. When she saw him that day weeks ago, walking towards her in the glare of the afternoon sun, it seemed so wrong that he spent so much of his time in darkness when he clearly belonged in the light.


His eyes seemed bluer than ever, their intensity was almost too much to handle. His skin was translucently pale, emphasising the angular sharpness of his cheekbones. His lips were redder than she’d ever realised, fuller too and so very... kissable looking. He really was beautiful.
He was Spike.


Buffy felt embarrassed at first, though she couldn’t have said why. She scuffed the ground with her toe. “So, where are we training then?”


Spike smiled widely. “The graveyard slayer, where else?”


Buffy was surprised. “But it’s day time.”


Spike widened his eyes and looked around him with sarcastic shock “Colour me purple and call me a grape, your right.”


Buffy scowled and elbowed him. Hard.


Spike chuckled and elbowed her back. “Just for that slayer, you don’t get an ice cream.”


He was different in the sun. The heavy threat of night was lifted and it was as though Spike felt lighter, freer. He walked with a bounce to his step. His customary duster had been replaced with a crimson shirt. He laughed more easily, and despite the darkness that plagued her heart Buffy found herself laughing with him.


After a lot of mucking around, arguing and play fighting they got to the grave yard. Spike promptly tapped Buffy smartly on the arm, shouted “Your it!” And ran off.


“Hey! What are you doing?!”


“What do you think I’m doing you stupid chit? I’m warming up. Catch me if you can!” He stuck his tongue out and looked so damn adorable Buffy ran after him without another word.


Warming up proved to be a brilliant idea for two reasons. For one, Buffy got to see Spike (usually so annoyingly graceful) trip over a wonky gravestone. He fell in a spectacularly overly dramatic style, jumping back up covered in mud and with his hair tufting all over the place. Buffy almost fell down herself she was laughing so hard. The second reason was a result of the first. Spike had caught his T shirt on something and torn it quite badly. He swore and stomped for a minute before removing his red shirt and pulling off the ruined black tee.


Buffy’s mouth dropped open before she could stop it. Spike was buff. He was mega buff. He wasn’t big built, but his slim torso was pure sculpted muscle. The sunlight illuminated the fine downy hairs which trailed so invitingly from his belly button to beneath his low slung jeans. She could see his prominent hip bones and could tell that he had indeed been telling the truth when he’d said he didn’t wear underwear. This knowledge made Buffy feel more flustered then she’d probably ever felt before. The fact that Spike obviously knew what effect he was having on her didn’t help.


He smiled lazily, running one hand through his tousled hair and hooking the other through his belt loop. “See something you like pet?” He looked her up and down. “I know I do”.


Buffy reacted the way she always did nowadays to Spike’s light hearted innuendos, she laughed. Only this time her laugh came out as a strangely high pitched giggle and she couldn’t meet his eyes as he put on his red shirt and buttoned it. She was both relieved and disappointed to see him cover up.


The training began in earnest after that. Spike wondered off and, to Buffy’s surprise, pulled two great big swords from behind a grave.


He went to hand her one. She looked from the very pointy
weapon to Spike and back again. “You just left badly hidden swords here in the middle of the day?! What if a kid had found them?”


Spike furrowed his brow, “They would have learnt a very valuable lesson, arms don’t grow back”


Buffy rolled her eyes and took the sword he offered. “Let’s get started yeah?”


“Fine by me pet, I fancy whipping your sweet little ass at least ten times before we call it day.”


Buffy sported a cocky grin, “We’ll just see who does the whipping. Me and Giles have trained with a sword loads of- ARGH!”


Spike had spun his sword in a graceful arc, knocking Buffy's clean out of her loose grip and catching it in his free hand.


“That’s one to me then.”


“Hey! What’s the deal?!” Buffy’s wrist hurt from the jarring it had received. She rubbed it and gave Spike an annoyed look.


Spike, for once, looked serious. “Lesson the first pet, don’t wait for your opponent to politely ask you if he can strike, cos you'll be bloody dead. Always be ready.”



Buffy lost ten times that day. Each session after that she improved, desperate not be shown up by Spike, and equally desperate to impress him. She worked hard, and by the time they had reached lesson the 45th she could beat him half the time. Mostly.





Those lessons were like distant dreams now Buffy was facing Angelus. She now knew that Spike had been preparing her for the battle he knew was coming. He had tried, he really had. But he could never have prepared her for this. Her palms were hot. She could feel the sword sliding in her grip and her breath was coming out in shallow gasps. She tried desperately to seem calm, to be ready.


Angelus stalked towards her, a predator through and through. “What’s the matter Buff? I thought after the first time you wouldn’t be so nervous being alone with me. I only hope you can perform better. That was disappointing.”


Buffy snorted. “I think I was the one let down, at least in certain departments.” Buffy didn’t have enough experience to know whether Angelus was lacking in that way. Angel had certainly made her feel good. But this was Angelus, and Angelus she wanted to hurt. She seemed to have struck a nerve. He growled.


“You little bitch. I’m going to make you pay. For that; and for being so stupid as to think I could ever actually love you." He sneered. "You disgust me”


Buffy took her searing heart break and pushed it deep down inside of her. She was surprised by the strength in her own voice, “Well I’m not exactly feeling warm fuzzies about you, so this should be easy shouldn’t it?”


Angelus didn’t answer. He was sniffing the air and a mixture of comprehension and rage was spreading across his face. His voice was a deadly whisper. “Well. Isn’t that interesting. The boy has decided to make an appearance.” He slid into game face, and Buffy burned under the strength of his fiery eyes. “I knew; I knew something wasn’t right.” He roared and Buffy immediately went on the defensive. His roar turned into a blood stilling laugh. “He thinks he’s so clever... always thinks he can get one over on me. I bet he’s bedded you.” He spat at Buffy and she tried not to flinch. He spoke with venom. “If he has then the jokes on sweet William. Don’t worry though Buff, Drusilla will be readying him for me as we speak. Beating him into submission. Once I’ve dealt with you me and William will have some fun. As long as Dru doesn’t get carried away that is.”

Buffy felt a fluttering of panic in her heart, but in her
head she knew Spike was all right. She felt sure that if something had happened to Spike she would know. She would just know.


Buffy raised her voice in defiance. “Your skanky ho is probably already dust on the wind.”


Angelus laughed again, but this time it was a laugh of
real amusement. Buffy felt a chill pass through her. “Oh Buff, you don’t know William at all do you? The boy would never dust her, no matter what pretty little lies he spun to get you into bed.”


Buffy was on the verge of asking him what he meant when Angelus struck. Buffy was ready for him, and blocked his attack with ease. She put Spike out of her mind and concentrated on the battle at hand, it was going to be a big one.


He struck, she blocked. She dove, he spun. She kicked, he dodged. On and on. Sweat was seeping into Buffy’s eyes, blurring her sight. She had suffered a few surface wounds and a hard fall and she was starting to feel it.


She used a tricky move which Spike had taught her. It has never worked when she’d tried it on him, but tonight luck seemed to be on her side.


Angelus went down. Buffy could have killed him then, that instant. She could have cleft his head from his shoulders and ended this nightmare she had been living.



An image of Angel, protective Angel, loving Angel, her Angel, flew unbidden into her mind. She hesitated, and she lost the upper hand. Angelus rolled, springing to his feet some distance away.


He didn’t charge back at Buffy, as she assumed he would. He walked to the statue Buffy had almost forgotten about, the one that could open the gates to hell.


Buffy’s world became one small tunnel of vision. She tried to run forward. She tried to do something, anything, but she couldn’t. She heard him say, as though from far away, “As fun as this is Buff, I think I’ll skip to the main event.”


Angelus took the sword. He held out his hand, palm upward, and drew the swords blade across it until the blood began to blossom.


At the sight of it Buffy snapped back to reality, she started forward, but even with slayer speed she was too late.

Angelus gave her one last smile before he placed his blooded palm to the centre of the statue.

The gates of hell began to open.



Buffy pushed away all thoughts. All thought of Angel. Of Spike, of her mom and Giles and her friends. Of the world she could lose at any moment. She concentrated everything into one final attempt, one last fight.


Angelus looked gleeful as he countered Buffy’s frenzied
attacks. Nothing could stop him. Nothing and no one.




In another place a hospital room was saturated with the scent of magic being wrought. On a cheap plastic table an orb began to pulse. A girl with blackened eyes began to chant the final words.




Buffy had him. She was finally ready to strike the final blow. She pulled back the sword. Then-


“Buffy?”


It was funny. How one word, just one, could change everything.
From that one word Buffy knew that she was not fighting Angel anymore.
Willow had succeeded, Angel was back.
She didn’t need to see his eyes, restored to their warm brown, to know it. Angelus could never have said her name that way. There was love behind it, real love. And it killed her.


Her sword fell to her side.


“Angel?” It was him, her Angel. And behind him the gates of hell were widening, ready to swallow them both whole.


“You’re hurt.”


If only he knew how she was hurting. Buffy wanted to clutch her chest, to claw out the pain. It was unbearable. Every word that passed between them only made it worse.


“Shh, close your eyes.”


He did it without question. At this sign of his trust in her she nearly faltered. Only the heat she was beginning to feel radiate from the ever widening portal made her pull the sword back.


She thrust.


For the second time that night time shifted for Buffy. Before it had slowed, mocking her inability to act. Now it had stopped, and the sword that had been driving towards Angel was no longer in her hands. Angel was frozen, his eyes still closed. The portal was still swirling.

Buffy spun round. Spike.

He looked beaten, though there was barely a scratch on him.

Buffy could see he was emotionally beaten, just as he could see that she was.

“Spike- Angel, he- I don’t-“

Spike pulled her into his side and held her fiercely with his free arm. “It’s alright luv, it’s ok.”


Buffy didn’t try to stop her tears, “It’s not ok. It’s not.”

Spike nodded. “It’s not, but it will be.” He released her and walked towards Angel with an odd look on his face.

“I never did tell you how me an Captain forehead knew each other did I pet?” Spike sighed. “I suppose now isn’t really the time for a story either. But there is somethin you should know.” Spikes face was pinched, his blue eyes darkened with remembered pain. “My ol’man, my bloody daddy dearest... he was sired by Darla, who I think you met. Old super bitch herself. He was actually her favourite childe, til peaches came along. Then I was born. That made Angelus my uncle, of sorts.
Most vampires spend their unlives alone, or in packs. A few vampires live in clans, in twisted families bound by blood. We were some of the few. After my mum... died, my father wanted to ensure my loyalty, to him, to the family. I was made to take a blood oath, with each of them. I was the childe of them all. They all had the control of sires over me. Or at least I let them think they did. Much later Dru became more than a sire to me. What Giles told you about what happened with my father after that was true, but nowhere near all.”


A rumble had been building whilst Spike had been speaking. Now the floor began to shake.
Spike took another step closer to the motionless Angel, the sword twitching in his hand. Buffy took a step closer to him without realising she did.


Spike turned to her and tried to smile. “I really wish there was time to tell you everythin Buffy. I really do.” He began to raise the sword.


“Spike! What are you doing?!” Buffy’s tears had stopped and she could see all too clearly.


“I hate Angelus pet. Even though he’s family. Actually, I mainly hate him because of that. But family he is. His blood is my blood.”


Something on Spikes list suddenly became horribly clear. Blood is everything.


The sword moved with frightening speed.
One thrust and the blood began to flow. Spikes lip twitched. “See ya round slayer”.



Time was moving so slowly one minute. A horrible drawn out nightmare that seemed to last for an eternity.
Then it was all over.
A second made all the difference. One second and Buffy’s life was destroyed again.
One second and he was no longer stood before her. In one second he was sucked to hell.

Buffy had been broken before. She had known pain, she had lived pain. This night had been nothing but pain.
She had never known anything like this. He was sucked into hell and it was as if the flames that took him had consumed her as well.


In a second, Spike was gone.





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