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Author's Chapter Notes:
sorry it's taken me so long to upload for this fic, this is just a short chapter, but two much longer ones will be coming soon! thanks for sticking with it :)
Willow and Xander were worried about Buffy.


The first few days, the days of disbelief and desperation, the days of anger and hurt, those days had been awful.


But crying, shouting Buffy they could deal with. Kinda.


For the last few days they had seen a side of Buffy they had never seen before. She was doing things so un-Buffy like that they didn’t know how to deal with it at all.


For one, she was reading. Actually reading.



One morning she had burst into the library like a mad thing, pulling books off the shelves only to look at the spines and throw them away. Giles was horrified beyond speaking when he saw the way his beloved books were being treated, but his attempts to calm Buffy had little to no effect. He settled for running around behind her, catching what books he could, stroking and replacing those he could not.


Once Buffy had collected a pile of books bigger then her she settled in a chair and began to read with a fervour Giles had never seen her apply to anything.


For each day after that Buffy had spent every spare moment she had, right up to and beyond nightfall, reading.


She didn’t talk and she only answered questions directed at her in two words or less. She didn’t eat and only drank something when forced.


Giles repeatedly entreated her to tell him what she was looking for, but she always refused.


Willow and Xander were worried, but they weren’t sure what to do. They couldn’t reach her themselves, and even her mom hadn’t managed to drag her away from the library. They had briefly considered seeing if there was anything Angel could do, but neither of them wanted to see him, or even knew where he was. After the last meeting between Buffy and Angel Willow decided that finding him would not be of the good. Buffy never told Willow and Xander the details of what happened that night in the mansion, but when she hadn’t returned at day break Xander had gone to find her.
She had been huddled in the corner of the room, staring at nothing, with bloodied, broken hands.


The statue which had so very nearly unleashed hell on earth had been covered with the rusty red evidence of her attempts to claw it open.



Buffy had confirmed, in a dazed way, that Angel’s soul had been restored, and that she didn’t have to kill him to close the portal, because Spike had closed it for her. But that was all she said. And Angel was nowhere to be seen.



At first Xander couldn’t see why Buffy was so upset about Spike. As far as he was concerned they hadn’t known each other that long or that well, and while it was sad (for her anyway) surely she would have preferred it to be Spike than Angel.


Willow didn’t agree. She had known of plenty of times when Buffy and Spike had met, times that Xander was not aware of. And while she, by no means, thought herself at all an expert on matters of the heart she saw a connection there. A strong one.


Spike’s sacrifice seemed to have brought all of Giles’ grief over Jenny screaming back to the surface, and he himself was so low that he wasn’t much help in helping pick Buffy back up. He stayed in the library while she was there. He watched her reading and taking notes. After the first day he didn’t interfere, just made sure that she knew he was there and made sure he gave her a ride home at night.


After a week of this Willow and Xander decided to call an emergency scoobie meeting/intervention. After gathering a concerned Oz, an almost concerned Cordelia, and a still half asleep Giles they marched into the library, ready to do anything it took to bring Buffy back to a communicating place.


They needn’t have bothered. As soon as they strode (commandingly) through the doors Buffy pounced on them. In the first time in what felt like forever she was smiling, and there was a light on behind her eyes. She even sounded chirpy as she said,


“Guys! Great, I was just coming to get you. We need to have a meeting, like right now.”


Xander raised his eyebrows. “Yeah Buff, we were actually thinking the same thing... we just didn’t expect you to be so keen.”



Buffy actually laughed. “I know I’m not usually one for early mornings but it’s amazing what a little caffeine can do.”


They looked over Buffy’s head to see at least five empty coffee cups cluttering the table, and it was only eight am. Everyone else’s eyebrows shot up to match Xanders. No wonder Buffy was so... bouncy.


She pouted suddenly. “No doughnuts? Buffy hungry!”


Cordelia rolled her eyes. “Don’t go back on the carbs now, not when you’ve finally got down to a size two.” She brightened. “You could so pull off a micro mini now!”



Everyone ignored her but sat down when Buffy motioned them to. She picked up a hefty looking volume and clutched it to her chest. “I’m sorry I’ve been such an avoidy Buffy lately guys, but I needed to do some research on something, and I wanted to do it alone. By the way, can totally see why you guys complain so much about researching, seriously not fun, but anyway, I’ve finally found what I was looking for, and now we can start making a plan!”


The others all exchanged a look. Giles leaned forward and looked at Buffy intently, “A plan for what?”


Buffy looked confused, as though that must be obvious. “A plan to get Spike back of course.”


Giles whipped his glasses from his face and set to polishing them with practised intensity. “And how exactly do you expect to get Spike back?”


Buffy looked at him as if she was disappointed in his stupidity. She opened the book she was holding to a marked page and dropped it on the table in front of them all, completely ignoring Giles’ flinch. “By opening a portal of course.”


Willow had leaned over to see the book and had visibly palled. Though she was pretty sure she knew the answer she felt she had to ask, “A portal to where?”


Buffy flicked her hair over her shoulder and folded her arms.

“I’m getting Spike back, and the only way to do that is to drag him out of where he is. I need you guys to help me with this ritual, to open a portal, cos this year I’m vacationing in the balmy resort of hell.”





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