Here begineth the problem. Technically, Spike had already won his bet with Angel.
Get Buffy to kiss him before Halloween, the big git had spoken.
But Spike knew that simply telling Angel he’d done just that, would never appease the lumbering oaf. Oh no, Angel would want proof. He’d want to see it for himself, and that certainly wasn’t going to happen easily, Spike reckoned.
The other problem, and this was by far greater than providing evidence of his victory, was that he wanted out of this whole ordeal. He wasn’t ready to admit why just yet…he just knew he wanted to be as far removed from the bet as possible.
That was actually proving more difficult than he thought it would. Cordelia, who’d been adamant a few weeks prior to readily dismiss the bet and be on her marry way with Angel, was now at the forefront of the “Help Spike Woo Buffy Coalition”.
That was charming of her, in a twisted way, but now he felt the strands of this tangled web pull tighter around him. He was going to fall flat on his arse if he didn’t look out.
Not one to normally avoid confrontation, Spike had no reservations confronting Cordelia the next time he saw her. He’d been mildly impressed when she too openly admitted what her ploy had been. Help him woo Buffy. Lock them in a room together and just finally get it over with.
That last bit sounded appealing, for very different reasons. Of course, Spike needn’t fill Cordy in on that. In fact, Spike had been resolutely mum about everything that had happened that night. Which had proved difficult this past week, seeing as he now had class with both Cordelia and Buffy…and Angel….
It was a soddin’ melodrama and Spike was growing antsy. He had walked into class on Wednesday, two days after “the kiss” had taken place, and waited for Buffy to react first. Give him a sign that she either wanted him openly or had reverted back to hating him…anything. A crumb.
But she’d remained impassive….or well, she’d avoided him. It took all his resolve to not say or do something in response to her avoidance. He wanted her to trust him, and spouting off about their brief but wild snog in her kitchen certainly wasn’t going to help his cause.
Cordelia, still unaware of what exactly had transpired when she’d played Cupid and ran off, noticed the lack of witty banter between Spike and her stepsister. She couldn’t tell you why they weren’t yelling in each other’s face…she considered maybe it was an off day…or maybe it was working and they were just playing it cool…
Whatever, Cordelia had her own problems brewing. She was spending less time with Angel and increasingly more and more with Xander. Angel hadn’t noticed, or if he had, he hadn’t said anything. Cordy couldn’t decide if this was good or bad.
Either way, Angel continued to mindlessly wrap his arms around her when he greeted her, absently hold her hand when they’d walk down the concrete paths on campus, attempt to kiss her hello and good bye….yet never complaining when she’d not so subtly turn her head to give him her cheek instead of her lips…
Spike had certainly noticed the chasm beginning between Angel and Cordelia. Not that he cared, really…but he wondered who was doing the lying in that relationship…cause somebody was clearly spending their time elsewhere…he couldn’t tell…
Willow and Buffy saw the distance spreading between the brunette couple also. Of course, they both knew of Cordelia’s increasing involvement with Xander. Willow was happy to catch up with her friend on occasion and listen to him spill about all the time he’d been spending getting to know Cordelia, or making her laugh…they’d not shared anything particularly romantic with each other, but Xander was far too elated that Cordy was continually wanting his attention to care at the moment. Eventually, it’d become an issue…but not right now.
Buffy still wasn’t convinced about Xander…but he seemed harmless enough…and anybody was better than Angel…and she really had no place to talk right now….not with what was happening in her own life….
Buffy had been avoiding Spike all week. The old fashioned way. The Silent Treatment. It was almost impossible to avoid him completely anymore. He had class with her, he was Cordelia’s new scene partner, he took some of the same paths across campus as she did…
But she couldn’t talk to him. She didn’t know what to say…and even if she did, how would that go over? The Ice Queen just suddenly starts walking hand in hand with some guy that she notoriously fought with for two months? Yeah, that’d go over real well.
She was grateful that Spike seemed to be honoring her need for avoidance. Oh sure, she caught him staring at her plenty of times, but his face gave nothing away. Gone were his smirks or his suggestive leers. She would catch him simply watching her, studying her as if she was a really difficult puzzle and he couldn’t find the piece he needed.
Which, she supposed, was kind of true.
She knew Cordelia was itching to talk to her, if not to apologize for the monstrosity that was last Monday’s matchmaking scheme, then at least to find out what had transpired.
Buffy had presented Cordelia with a normal amount of annoyance, just to keep her nosy stepsister appeased and off her trail. It had seemed to work for a day. But when Buffy had come home a few nights ago and Spike had been there once again (this time to actually study with Cordelia), the tall brunette had immediately sensed the tension and went to interrogate Buffy.
Buffy could only sigh and brush off Cordelia’s intrusion, feigning fatigue and saying she’d be at the library or at Willow’s to study instead.
Buffy wasn’t sure why Cordelia had taken a sudden interest in seeing her get together with Spike, other than some feeble attempt to prove Buffy wrong about men…
Which, in the case of Spike, Buffy could easily find herself changing her tune…and that’s exactly what made it not-so-easy…she hadn’t actually wanted a guy in her life in a long time…like, repeatedly wanted him in her presence, around her, to talk to, to kiss, to hold, to….she needed to stop thinking about it. It was overwhelming. And she still felt confused and afraid.
“Bandy means to bounce back and forth, right?” Buffy suddenly asked, looking up from her script.
Willow raised her head, her own script before her and nodded, “Yep.”
Buffy nodded, writing a small annotation beside the word in the margin of her script. She and Willow had been analyzing their lines for the past hour, making sure they understood every word before they attempted to say them aloud again.
It was not the most exciting activity to do on a Friday night, but the stumble-through they’d had in class today had proved to both women that they needed to seriously crack down on their textual interpretation. Everyone in class was struggling with these second scenes. It wasn’t like no one knew the play, Romeo and Juliet was universal and most of them who’d been involved in the theatre had been exposed to it numerous times…but suddenly asked to act it out…one felt their understanding suddenly fly out the window…and Buffy felt she needed to redeem herself after the Shrew scene; despite the surprising (and embarrassing) praise she’d received.
“You want more to drink?” Buffy wondered, standing up to stretch and crossed over to the fridge to retrieve something else for herself.
“Sure. Thank you,” Willow complied. Buffy nodded and reached for a pitcher of some fruity concoction of juice that Cordelia had made.
Cordelia had gone out that night, presumably with Angel. Buffy didn’t know why her stepsister was still even bothering, the brunette clearly had grown tired of the larger man, but Buffy supposed there was still a hint of the status consciousness in Cordy after all. Angel, despite being an idiot as far as Buffy was concerned, did seem to have quite the popular reputation. And Cordelia was still new to campus, though she’d made quite the impression already.
“So,” Buffy began, returning to the table with two newly filled glasses for her and Willow, “Does Xander want to actually date Cordelia?”
Willow once again looked up from her book, smiling politely as she took the proffered beverage from Buffy. “Umm, I think he’d want to if she ever asked, yeah.”
“Hmm,” Buffy considered, taking a slow sip of her juice.
“Why?” Willow wondered.
Buffy shrugged and absently tapped the sides of her glass with the pads of her fingertips, “She doesn’t seem like Xander’s type.”
Willow chuckled, “I think it’s safe to say that Girls are Xander’s type.”
Buffy couldn’t help but laugh at that, “Is he desperate or…”
Willow continued laughing, “He dated some in high school, and he ‘hung out’ with this girl Amy for awhile…”
“Not that Cordelia is like, desperation material…cause clearly, she’s in high demand,” Buffy explained, snickering at the thought.
Willow caught a trace of bitterness in Buffy’s words and dared to pry a bit further.
“Does that bother you?”
Buffy stopped musing and gave Willow a serious look, raising her glass to take another slow sip before answering coolly, “Why would it?”
Willow shrugged, “Just that, you know…she seems to…I mean, attracting men seems to come easily to her…”
Buffy narrowed her gaze as Willow spoke. The redhead was still a bit fearful of the blonde. They’d made tremendous strides the last few weeks, and what with being paired together to do a companionable scene, it had forced the two to talk more. Buffy had never really had a problem with Willow, she being a girl first and foremost. And the lanky redhead had always been polite, to her face anyway.
But now, well, Buffy couldn’t really blame Willow’s curiosity, Buffy had opened the field to these kind of discussions, and Buffy herself had changed her opinions about people in general recently…something that Willow was clearly more perceptive about than she’d given her credit for.
“Well I’ve never really been the most approachable person,” Buffy finally answered.
Willow gave her a shy smile, “I don’t mean that guys aren’t attracted to you! I mean, I’m sure you have a whole bunch of—“
Buffy cut her off with a wave of her hand, “I’m not offended, Willow. I know what people think of me.”
Willow blushed and nodded, “Xander had a thing for you,” she chirped.
Buffy’s eyes widened as she laughed, “Really? That’s hysterical!”
“But you know, he knew you’d—“
“Probably cut his heart out and eat it before ever giving him the time of day?” Buffy guessed cheekily.
Willow paused for a moment to make sure Buffy was in on the joke before deciding it was safe to laugh.
“You know, despite the….vibe or aura or whatever you call it, I give off…guys still try to ask me out…it’s weird…in that, really pathetic kind of way…”
Willow snickered at Buffy’s comment, “Yeah, guys can be a little dense sometimes, huh?”
Buffy chuckled, “Guess you’re glad you don’t have to deal with that anymore, huh?”
Willow snorted and shrugged, “Well, girls can be just as frustrating sometimes too.”
Buffy had to nod in agreement, “Yeah…Cordelia made me understand that, finally. I’d been so hell-bent on blaming the men, ya know? My dad cheated on my mom and all I saw was how devastated she was…but then she sends me this wedding invitation a few weeks ago and I’m like, OH! This is what Cordelia meant! It takes two to tango and blah blah blah, right? Why would my mom put herself through that again?”
Willow remained silent for a few moments. She had heard bits and pieces of why Buffy was who she was…but to hear the girl say it outright, and so casually…yes, it seemed as though Buffy had softened her perspective on the wrongness of the male population, and it was good that she could branch out and realize that women too could be held responsible but…she still seemed to be a bit deluded in her reasoning.
Willow bit her lip but bravely attempted to interject, “Well, I see both sides of your argument. I could certainly see how you’re dad’s behavior left you feeling betrayed and angry…and I’m not saying you shouldn’t be protective of your mother or skeptical of her engagement…certainly if she was as devastated as you say she was by her first marriage…but…”
Willow stopped when she realized Buffy had leaned in, resting her elbows on the table across from her. The blonde seemed genuinely intrigued by what she was saying, though Willow couldn’t be certain Buffy wouldn’t slap her if she continued.
But Buffy didn’t seem angry, just curious. The small blonde worried her bottom lip and furrowed her brow, giving the redhead a small nod to keep going.
“I guess what I mean is, your mom just wants to be happy. And maybe she’s getting married again because she’s found someone she knows won’t hurt her the way your dad did…and that’s exactly what she should do…”
“But why even take that chance? Yeah, Brian might seem okay now but what if she lets him into her life and then he ends up hurting her? I mean sure, it might be lonely not letting people get close to you but in the long run its gotta be better than getting hurt and feeling like a complete idiot afterwards, right?”
Willow wasn’t convinced they were still discussing her mother anymore. She sighed and gave Buffy a small, reassuring smile.
“You can’t know what makes you happy unless you’ve been unhappy,“ Willow said calmly. She was trying to channel Tara. Tara’s soothing, honey toned voice that always spoke kindness and reason.
“But that requires making mistakes,” Willow continued, “I dated a boy for four years before I met Tara.”
Buffy’s eyes widened in surprise, “Really?”
Willow nodded, “I’d never really questioned my sexuality when I was dating him,” she further explained, “And he made me very happy until the end of my freshman year of college. He’d met this other girl and we almost broke up over it but then we worked it out and I thought everything was fine again and then he left. Transferred, apparently. But he didn’t even tell me he was leaving. Just up and left one day…”
Buffy’s eyes were brimming with tears, “Willow, I’m so sorry, I had no idea…”
Willow shrugged, “I met Tara shortly after that. We started out as friends, and I eventually opened up to her about Oz, that was his name…or well, Daniel but, I called him Oz…”
“When did you know you had feelings for Tara?” Buffy wondered quietly.
“It just kind of happened. We were spending more and more time together, we had class together, she made me smile, laugh…and I thought she was gorgeous!” Willow laughed and Buffy found herself smiling at that thought too.
“At first I thought it was just an admiration thing you know? Like, wow this girl is so sweet and pretty, I wish I was like her…but then it became more like, wow, I wish I was with her…like, WITH her with her…”
Buffy chuckled, “So you started dating her?”
“No. It took me a whole year to process what I was feeling. At first I thought it was just a reaction to having been hurt by a guy, ya know?”
Buffy nodded in complete understanding.
“But, then I realized that I wanted from Tara exactly what I’d had with Oz…didn’t matter if she was a girl or he was a guy…I wanted to be with her, and that was going to require me letting her in the way I had with him…and I was terrified. What if we broke up? What if she left me? I didn’t want to get hurt again…”
Buffy nodded once more, “So what did you do?”
“I took a chance,” Willow answered simply, “Tara’s gender was inconsequential. She happens to be a woman…and either one of us could get hurt by the other…and maybe we won’t be together forever but, right now all I know is that I love her. She challenges me, makes me think, makes me laugh, makes me want to be a better person…and if we ever do break up, at least I’ll have known what is was like to have her in my life…”
Buffy was now officially crying. Quietly, but assuredly. She understood why Willow had divulged all this information. Buffy was afraid. She wanted to be happy but without getting hurt. She realized, you couldn’t have both…or maybe you could, but Buffy would never know unless she took that chance.
The phone rang, effectively breaking Buffy out of her emotional epiphany. She cleared her throat and quickly excused herself, standing up and crossing the room to answer it.
“Hello?” She asked, sparing a glance back at Willow to see the redhead give her a small smile before returning to read her script.
“Okay so, don’t kill me,” Cordelia’s voice whined through the receiver.
Buffy’s sad haze immediately shifted to annoyance as she rolled her eyes, “Oh good God, Cordy. What?”
“Umm, I know I’m like, the last person you’d ever want to help but…”
For some reason, that comment hurt Buffy more than it usually would have, “Cordy that’s not true and you know—“
“I really need you to come pick me up,” Cordy interrupted.
Buffy’s face turned worried, “Did something happen?”
She could hear Cordelia groan, “No. Not really…Angel’s just being a complete jack ass and he had way too much to drink and there’s no way I’m letting him drive me home…”
Buffy sucked on her teeth and she nodded to her sister’s explanation, “Hence the phone call…”
“Pretty please? You know I must be desperate if I’m calling you,” Cordelia pleaded.
Buffy snickered, recalling her earlier conversation with Willow about Cordelia and desperation, “Yeah, alright…where are you?”
“The Bronze…I think, it’s some club downtown—“
“Yeah, I know the Bronze,” Buffy cut in, “Stay put, I’m on my way.”
“I totally owe you, for real,” Cordelia said and hung up.
Buffy sighed as the line went dead. She hung up the receiver and turned back around to face her study partner.
“Wanna take a quick study break?”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
If someone had told Buffy a month ago she’d be driving to the Bronze at eleven o’clock on a Friday evening with Willow Rosenberg to save her stepsister Cordelia from her boyfriend Angel, she’d have probably punched that person in the face…for a bunch of different reasons.
The girls approached the front of the line cautiously, readying themselves to explain to the bouncer that they were just looking for a friend when Buffy stopped dead in her tracks.
Willow bumped into the blonde, not realizing she’d stopped and was about to ask Buffy what the problem was…
The man chatting cordially with the bouncer stopped for a moment and turned around, his blue eyes meeting Buffy’s green ones.
Without explanation, Spike turned to the bouncer while motioning to the two women. The bouncer nodded and waved the girls to approach.
Willow pushed Buffy forward as the doorman gave them a smile and gestured to the bleached blonde.
“Friend here says you’re with him, “ the burly guard explained. “You can head on in, ladies.”
Buffy was still a bit shocked to see Spike in front of her, but Willow took the hint and smiled politely at the man guarding the door and stepped away from her blonde companions, turning to Buffy before heading inside, “I’ll go find Cordelia,” the redhead offered.
Spike watched Willow leave before turning back to Buffy and giving her a shy smile, “Buffy.”
Buffy snapped out of her stupor and swallowed. “Spike,” she acknowledged.
“So, you’re meeting Cordelia?” He wondered.
“Picking her up,” Buffy corrected, “Angel’s had too—“
“Much to drink,” Spike finished for her, “Yeah, the git called me a half hour ago to come pick him up too.”
Buffy laughed in spite of herself as Spike motioned for her to lead them inside. She nodded graciously and stepped through the doorway.
The two blondes moved awkwardly though the throng of sweaty bodies, doing their best to battle against the flying limbs in their path. Buffy groaned in frustration as her diminutive stature grossly impeded her from budging the packed bodies out of her way. She heard Spike chuckle in her ear and she shuddered as she realized how close he was to her body to be able to hear him over the noise in the club. She stiffened as she felt his hand fall to the small of her back and used his slightly larger size to escort them better through the crowd.
Once out of the thicket, Spike’s hand stayed at her back for a moment longer before he caught her baffled expression and removed his hand, effectively shoving it into his coat pocket.
“I didn’t nee—“ she started to say before Spike cut her off.
“Yeah, yeah, you can handle yourself, I know,” Spike brushed her off, “Sing me a new one, will ya? Just trying to be chivalrous…”
Buffy was genuinely caught off guard by his curt response. Jesus, was she really that predictably stubborn? Though, she supposed, his answer wasn’t uncalled for. She was about to explain how she could have gotten through the crowd on her own just fine…okay, so maybe she needed to heed Willow’s earlier advice.
“Thank you,” she sputtered bashfully.
Spike raised his eyebrows in surprise. Buffy gave him a sour look, did he have to look so amazed at her gratitude? It didn’t really give her the confidence to continue this “Trying To Be Nice” thing….
Spike’s awed expression softened and fell into a smirk, “Hard for you isn’t it?”
Buffy shot in a skeptical look, “What?”
“Letting someone help you,” He said simply.
Buffy rolled her eyes, “I told you I don’t know what I want, Spike. And I’m still not ready to talk about it.”
Spike laughed, “I wasn’t talking about last week.”
“Yeah, well, we both know what you’re thinking,” she said, giving him a wry smile.
He curled his tongue behind his teeth and took a step toward her, “If we both know, then I’m not the only one thinking it.”
Buffy inhaled sharply, dazed as his hands emerged from the confines of his duster pockets and came to rest on her hips.
“Spike—“
“All I want is the chance, luv,” he told her softly. Somewhere in her addled brain she wondered how she could still hear him over the din of the club, but that thought was quickly shoved aside for the tingling sensation of his thumbs rubbing idly along her hipbones and the feel of his breath so near her face.
That damn word had become the theme of the evening, hadn’t it? Chance. Take a chance, give me a chance, just a chance, chance, chance, chance…
“If you hurt me…” she started quietly, her breath hitching as his palms now fully started massaging her hips, his hands carefully grazing the hem of her shirt.
“Got news for you, Goldilocks,” he murmured, lowering his mouth to her ear, “I don’t think either one of us is gonna make it out alive,” he informed her, laughing softly against her neck.
She shuddered and found herself smiling at his answer. It was oddly comforting to know he seemed terrified of pursuing this…whatever it was between them, too.
“I need…” she struggled to speak, gasping as he nuzzled her neck, “Cordelia...”
Spike sighed into her hair, remembering why they were both brought here in the first place. If Angel was indeed drunk, he really should take care of him and get him home. It did nobody any good if something stupid were to occur because Spike had gotten distracted.
“You’re right, pet,” he whispered, his mouth still at her ear. He braved a light kiss to her temple and pulled back to survey her face, his hands now more innocently stayed at her waist.
Buffy gave him a small smile before reluctantly pulling away. His hands dropped from her waist and she turned to leave in search of Cordelia before he caught her wrist once more and spun her back to face him again.
She gasped as he pulled her to him, “Go out with me tomorrow night,” he said.
Her brows rose in surprise and he couldn’t help but find her even more adorable when she was genuinely shocked. She rarely showed herself caught off guard, and he liked how impish and innocent she looked.
“Umm…” she gulped, hating how utterly weak Spike could make her, “like a date? In public?”
Spike laughed and jostled her gently under his grasp, “Yeah, like a date. In public,” he mocked her playfully.
She furrowed her brow in concern. She was starting to admit she could like Spike, and clandestine nuzzling and maybe even secret smoochies had their definite appeal…but this was a huge step…a very large chance to take…the world possibly privy to a whole new side of Buffy Summers…
“I’m not sure about—“
“We’ll keep it all very hush hush-like, yeah?” Spike assured her. He understood her need for secrecy at this moment. He kind of enjoyed the thought of keeping this under the radar for now…gave him time to gain her trust before he came clean about the bet…
Buffy nodded, “Fine then. A date. With you. Tomorrow. Deal.”
Spike laughed, “Right. Tomorrow. 8 o’clock. I’ll pick you up. Done,” he said, imitating her matter-of-fact tone.
“Buffy!” Cordelia’s voice suddenly rang out as the petite blonde released herself from Spike’s hold and spun around to find her stepsister approaching her.
Cordy groaned in disgust as she ungracefully elbowed people out of her way, “Where the hell have you been?” Cordy balked.
Buffy gave her sister an eye roll as Cordy chuckled nervously, “I mean, thank you for picking me up?” Cordy rectified nervously.
Buffy sighed as Cordelia turned to finally notice Spike standing there.
“Oh, Spike!” Cordelia said, before realizing that maybe she’d interrupted something between the two blondes, “Ohhhhhhhhhhh, “she repeated slowly, “Should I come back?”
Spike stifled a laugh as Buffy glared at her stepsister, “Okay Miss Subtle, let’s find Willow and get the hell out of here.”
“Willow’s with you?” Cordelia asked in genuine surprise.
“We were studying when you called, now come on,” Buffy urged again, desperate to leave before too much information was revealed.
“Queenie, where’s the poofter?” Spike called out before the girls got too far.
Both Buffy and Cordy turned to the blonde man as Spike gestured with a shrug. The girls both quickly decoded his question as directed to Cordelia about Angel’s whereabouts.
Buffy snickered at Spike’s colorful choice in various nicknames as Cordelia pointed toward the bar. Spike nodded his thanks but not before sending Buffy a wink and heading off to retrieve his friend.
“Did he just wink at me?” Cordelia asked as Buffy pushed them through the crowd in search of Willow, “And what’s a poofter?” the tall brunette continued to ask as Buffy just shook her head in silent amusement.
The sisters found the redhead by the exit, sipping a water before heading back out into the balmy evening air.
“I totally do owe you one Buffy,” Cordelia repeated as the girls made their way to Buffy’s jeep. “As much as I hate to admit it,” the brunette added.
“Oh, I know you do,” Buffy told her as they climbed into the car and headed back home.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
And another long chapter for you all. Thank you to those who have reviewed! Sorry if I haven't responded! Please
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Chapter End Notes:
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