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Author's Chapter Notes:
Buffy and Faith talk.

A HUIGE thank you to my new beta AuroraRose for going over this chapter for me. Also MASSIVE thank you to Edgehead (Mel) for the amazing banner you the best hun!.
Chapter 13


Never look back

Two weeks later

Buffy played with the hem of her dress nervously. Her and Spike had been parked out the front of Faith’s apartment for ten minutes now unsure of what she was going to do or say once she went upstairs. Spike had yet to say a word to her since they pulled up, she knew he was letting her take her time, trying not to push her.

It had been two weeks since she had last seen or talked to Faith, she had blamed her for not telling her the truth about Hank and about the fact that her and Spike where not really related but the truth was it wasn’t really Faith’s fault. Buffy was just angry, scared and looking for someone, anyone to blame.

“Luv, you have to face her some time,” Spike spoke softly.

“I know,” she replied.

“Besides be a shame to drive all this way and not talk to her” Buffy giggled softly at this, nodding her head she opened her door, stepping out of the car she moved for the door, Spike following closely behind her but as she reached for the buzzer Kennedy stepped outside.

“Buffy,” she gasped clearly surprised to see her.

“Hi Kennedy, is Faith home?”

“She is,” she replied sounding a little defensive as she crossed her arms across her chest “But Buffy if your only her to lay more blame on Faith and make she feel even more rotten then she already does then you may as well turn around a go back home.”

“No I’m…” Buffy started only to be cut off.

“Cause you know Buffy your last little rant left Faith devastated, I mean do you know how hard it was for her to keep the truth from you? Do you think even for a moment that she wanted to? She didn’t, but your own mother left her with very little choice,” she spat.

“I know and I’m sorry,” Buffy whispered looking down ashamed

“And another thing…. What?” Kennedy’s lecture was cut short but Buffy’s surprise apology.

“I’m not here to cause her anymore grief. I’m here to tell her how sorry I am for being a total bitch,” Buffy sighed. “It wasn’t her fault, and she was put in a really hard situation knowing the truth about Hank. I was just really angry, and I guess I needed someone to blame.”

“Oh well in that case.” Kennedy moved to open the door. “Go on up, Spike can come have a coffee with me at the café just next door.”

“Will you be alright luv?” he asked unsure if he should leave her.

“I’ll be fine. Its better I do this alone anyway” Spike nodded agreeing before he left Kennedy drag him away.

Smiling at their retreating forms, Buffy head up the stairs before stopping at the door. Taking a few moments, she took a much needed deep breath before she knocked on the door. It only took a few seconds before the door swung open to revile Faith who was still in her P.J.’s her eyes red and puffy. She clearly hadn’t been sleeping well and her eyes showed the evidence of many tears; Buffy knew she was to blame.

“I’m so sorry,” Buffy whispered moving fast to wrap her arms around Faith tightly. Faith held her back just as tightly before they stepped back.

“I didn’t think I would see you again,” Faith said stepping aside so Buffy could come in.

“I’m sorry I left you thinking that. I was scared and confused, and I needed someone to blame but truthfully it’s no one’s fault. You guys just wanted to protect me and after what I was told about this Hank I don’t blame you,” she sighed taking a seat at the kitchen table. Faith sat across from her.

“You know you’re nothing like him right? You don’t even look like him” Buffy looked up at this.

“Do you… do you have a photo of him?” Buffy asked unsure if she truly wanted to see it if she did. Faith got up moving to her room. She reemerged moments later.

“After he was locked up they got rid of most of them, but I found this not long after I found out the truth and figured you might want it one day” Buffy took a deep breath before taking the photo from her.

Faith was right she looked nothing like this stranger that she apparently shared a genetic bond with. His hair was dark where hers was fair. His skin was pale but hers was tanned. His nose was flat and round where hers was thinner and more pointed. He was stocky built where she had always been thin, truth was she saw no resemblance at all and she was glad for it.

“I have to ask. How did you find out the truth?” Buffy asked looking up at Faith.

“It was purely by accident. I overheard a conversation about it between my mum and yours; they said you could never know the truth that if I told you I would be ruining your life”

“That’s a huge burden to carry around. I’m sorry they put you in that situation.” Faith reached over and grabbed Buffy’s hand giving it a slight squeeze.

“I’m sorry you found out the way you did. I wanted to tell you, but I was scared too. What if they were right, and I told you and you hated me forever because I had ruined your life? I couldn’t do that to you but when Joyce was standing there trying to call what you and Spike had wrong and dirty…. Well I just couldn’t keep quiet anymore regardless of the consequences.”

“I’m glad you told me. It’s better that I know the truth and besides now no one can keep Spike and I apart,” Buffy smiled happily.

“I’m glad you guys are doing okay. You are perfect for each other.”

“Thanks,” Buffy replied the smile now fading from her face was quickly replaced with one that was slightly more serious.

“I was going to ask mum, but honestly I don’t want to upset her and dredge up bad memories for her” she took a breath trying to think of the best way to ask her question.

“Buffy, you can ask me anything, and I promise there will be no more secrets between us.”

“Do you… do you know where Hank is now? Is he still in prison?” Faith sighed. She knew eventually this question would come up and as she had said no more secrets.

“He’s dead sweetie.” she squeezed her hand again “He was found stabbed to death two years ago in the prison bathroom.”

“Oh,” was all Buffy could say.

“I’m sorry sweetie” Faith’s heart broke for her she could see the hurt flickering in her eyes.

“No it’s fine I mean it’s not like I even care” Buffy scoffed.

“Oh course you do. He was your father regardless of the things he said or done. I know it would hurt you otherwise you wouldn’t be you.” Buffy looked up at Faith tears shinning in her sad eyes.

“I don’t know why I’m even upset. It’s not like I knew him. I never even meet him and besides he was a cold blooded murder,” she cried softly

“I know what he was, but I also know who you are and what type of person you are, kind, caring, loving, that’s why you care, that’s why your upset, you have always felt so much even for those you don’t know. Not many of us have that in us.”

“Thanks Faith,” she smiled wiping the tears from her eyes.

“Buffy, he is buried close by, if you want I could take you there maybe it would offer you some sort of closure” Buffy thought about it for a moment before nodding in agreement.

Ten minters later, Buffy found herself standing in front of her biological father’s grave and next to it was who she assumed where her biological grandparents.

“They died in a car crash not long after Hank and Joyce met.” Buffy nodded swallowing at the lump in her throat.

“So does he have any family living?”

“No. He had no aunts or uncles and he was an only child,” Faith replied honestly.

“So who took care of his funeral and all that?” Buffy asked slightly confused.

“Your parents.” Buffy’s head jerked up shocked “Remember about two years ago they said they had to go and sign paper work in L.A, you wanted to go but they left you and Spike with mum and I?”

“Yeah”

“Well the prison had called your mum; turns out Hank had her written down as his next of kin. The prison offered to turn his body over to the state, but your mum wouldn’t let then so her and Giles paid for a simple burial next to his parents” Faith explained.

“Why would they do that after everything he did?” she asked confused

“Because of you, I guess your mum felt she should burry him right. He may have been a violent asshole but he gave her a daughter, you.”

“Yeah a daughter he never wanted,” Buffy hissed

“Maybe not but Joyce always wanted you and so did Giles.” Buffy smiled knowing she was right, the man that laid in the grave in front of her wasn’t her real father, no she decided Giles was the true essence of a real dad, loving, loyal, supportive.

She knew she could leave here and never have to worry about Hank or the things he did again. He wasn’t a part of her life; she didn’t owe his memory anything. She was glad Faith had brought her here because it had made her realize that she had a dad and he was wonderful.

“Let’s get out of here.” Buffy smiled

“Great idea,” Faith replied wrapping her arms around Buffy’s shoulders as they walked out of the cemetery never looking back.


Chapter End Notes:
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