Present
It was now ten o’clock, the time for the nurses to go home, so the four of us agreed that I would continue my story tomorrow. So concluded my first night at the hospital, the room was mostly quiet now. Veronika snoring softly and light streaming eerily through the window as I contemplated my day, and what I had told my new friends. I never thought that any of this would happen when I begrudgingly got up out of bed this morning.
I am so lucky to have this happen without the press all over me, and without him knowing. Since I was just divorced I begged and pleaded for the hospital not to call my ex even though he is my first emergency contact. Instead they called my mom, which I am so grateful for because the last thing I need right now is for him to know I'm here.
As my thoughts winded down, I felt a deep loneliness settle in my gut. I am all alone, that he is no longer here is still hard for me to grasp. I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me. Spike has always been there in some shape or form, from the thorn in my side to my friend. to my love, and then my husband; but now he’s gone. And so the loneliness grew, I can feel it pushing on my chest, and I can’t breathe.
It hurts and I can’t breathe and for the first time I break, and the damn of emotions come flooding through. My water gates open as harsh sobs rack my body. I can feel the hot sticky tears make the way down my face onto the horrible hospital gown, making it cling to my skin. I can feel the snot dripping from my nose as I wail almost inhumanly at the loss I feel.
I scratch and claw at my skin as it tightens making it too hot, to painful to feel real. I can feel my heart pumping to fast, and I can’t take a deep breath. My face is all screwed up, and I feel as though someone has carved out my organs and sewed me back together wrong, everything is uncomfortable Yet I can’t stop wailing into the night, it just won’t stop. I just can’t stop.
WHY? WHY? WHY?WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY ?WHY??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
I scream OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
The pain doesn’t cease though it only grow until I am
positive I can’t bear it, and then it grows some more.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to Carrot and rmk for reviewing, let me just say that I am sorry for not updating sooner but I have recently called it off with my fiance and it too hard for me... I had known him since we were little and we have been together for almost eight years and engaged for three... Sorry for rambling on about this, please review I hope I haven't lost any readers due to my hiatus. Also thanks again to gopher101 for an amazing beta job!
Chapter End Notes:
Please review! It helps boost my creative spirit!