"I, I..." she stuttered not knowing how to answer. Well, yes, that's what I was planning, I mean, I spent the better part of this last month desperately trying to find him and now that I have, well...it just isn't going as well as I imagined it would...but then what was I imagining...she could feel her face flush...nothing realistic that's for sure...I mean what did I expect, that he'd just...and then he didn't...and why is that?...is it me?...Dumb ass, of course it's me...I mean why should he, after everything we...and I just show up and want...he is right, I don't know what it is I do want...

"You need him," Sebastian said startling her back from the place her thoughts had taken her. God, I hope he doesn't know what I was thinking.

"You will need him," Sebastian went on not knowing of her musings; he was looking somewhat absently out the window as he spoke. "He no longer has obligations to us; he is free to do as he chooses and go where he pleases. He will always be welcome here but it is time, perhaps, that he moves on."

"Moving on," she laughed grimly to herself, or so she thought, she had, in fact, said it aloud and Father Sebastian had heard.

"Sometimes moving on simply means coming around to the beginning again," he said vaguely, "...and while we are on the subject of moving on, we need to discuss some matters of a more general nature." Father Sebastian turned from the window and returned to his desk.

First, the First…” he began.

This was just getting better and better, she thought.

Cisco caught him mid-way in the staff corridor.” She’s already gone.” Spike froze in his tracks, his face blank.

“No. Oh. No! ,” Cisco added quickly, realizing how that sounded to the vampires ears, “…not ‘gone’ gone just, uh, Sebastian…beckoned.”

“Thank God,” the vampire “… mouthed almost silently with a sign of relief, and then made a face at the irony. Cisco made one in return and replied with a shrug that had long been a symbol of unspoken understanding between the two of them.

“That’s … just as bad innit?”

There was no reply that could be made for that particular question. The vampire knows the … or at least, Cisco reconsidered, he knows exactly what Sebastian wants him to know about it, no more, no less. The thought had crossed his mind that the same perhaps was true in his case as well, but this was not the time to be ruminating about it.

Cisco glanced at this watch and made another face that was also mutually understood. “Gotta go, patrolling night, meet you there.” Cisco started off at a jog, turning to add, “…central district, off at seven.” Spike did not have time to respond, he didn’t have to; it was the scheduled night for a round of find the bad, pound the bad. He suddenly sussed it that he was just as late as Cisco and the monks of Dagon, while generally tolerant souls, were not saints and one was going to be very brassed off at him about now. He took off in Cisco’s wake.

Dawn sat on her legs in the middle of the floor in Rose’s room combing tangled Barbie doll hair. The mid-day sun shining in detailed patterns through the pink lace curtains. She couldn’t think of a better way to spend a Saturday morning, afternoon, whatever, than this. Rose was bright for her age and very imaginative and, while Dawn would never admit it, she missed this - having no cares, no worries. It sometimes seemed to her that her own childhood had been too short.

It was short, dumb ass; I’m really only, what now, eleven, twelve? She hated it, every now and then, knowing, and she knew more than anybody, especially after all those sessions in Rome with the Monsignor.

Dad had balked when she said she was going to have lessons with him. “We’re not Catholic,” he had said “I know,” she countered back. “We’re not really anything. But that’s not why I’m going; it’s for school, Religions of the World 102. I have to pass it or they will hold me back another year.” She lied, but he bought it. She just had to know and now she did and she was okay with it, usually. Nobody else would be, that’s why she never told them, not even Buffy. If Spike had been there, maybe she would have told him. Maybe. But it was her secret wasn’t it and she planned to keep it, forever - to herself.

Rose let out a squeal. She had that little furry thing… what did she call it, ZuZu?... must be her favorite, she always has it near. It was scurrying around her in erratic circles and she was trying to catch it.

Dawn smiled then she couldn’t hold back the giggles any longer. Rose squealed even more. Dawn reached out and almost caught it, but it stopped short and rose up on its hind legs; she was sure that it hissed at her and then it shot itself under the dresser.

She was startled, they didn’t make toys that real when she was…well, ever.

Rose frowned then pouted out a petulant “Bad ZuZu!” After a moment, she added, “I’m sorry Auntie Dawn. Zuzu doesn’t like you. He won’t tell me why. But I love you.” She pouted again and Dawn just had to smile at such a sweet little face.

“It’s okay. I’ll try to make friends with him then, next time we play.”

“I’d like for you to be friends!” Rose exclaimed. “Hair all done yet?” she asked spying the Barbie box.

“Nope, there’s still two more. Wanna help?” Dawn asked.

“Gimme, gimme!” Rose said and did that cute little grabby thing with both hands.

Dawn handed her a doll. She took it then frowned. Dawn made a ‘what?’ face.

“Need a comb.”

Dawn made an exaggerated “Oh” noise and started to rummage through the bottom of the box. Not finding one immediately she said, “You know, I used to cut all my Barbie’s hair off when I had them, they never needed a comb.”

“I do too! But I fix’em before Mama finds out.”

Not by the looks of these…very imaginative child, Dawn thought.

“Rose, Xander! Rose, where you are sweetie!” Willow’s voice echoed lightly through the doorway.

“In here Mama!” Rose yelled. “Auntie Dawn is here too!” she bounced up and grabbed Dawn’s hand. If she had been bigger and stronger, she would have fairly dragged her to the door, as it was Dawn was hard pressed to get up fast enough not to have the tiny hands slip off and send them both tumbling.

They reached the door way as Willow was putting the briefcase down. Rose detached from Dawn’s hand and fling herself at her mother who she was surprised to see caught her in her arms with ease.

“Hey Dawnie, Xander pawned her off on you, huh?” She kissed her daughter with an exaggerated ‘smooch’.