The Lesser of Two Evils
Buffy pushed the door open and stomped down the basement steps. “We need to talk.”
“Would have thought your mum taught you how to knock.” Spike looked up from his book with a smirk. He could tell she was not in a good mood and had no reason to expect a pleasant visit, but he was still thrilled to see her. It had been three days since she’d last stopped by and he’d counted every minute.
“I’m serious, Spike.”
He placed the book, still open to the page he’d been reading, on the cot Joyce had helped him set up. “So was I. You’ve got me by the short hairs. We both know it. It doesn’t mean you’ve got to be such a bitch. I haven’t done a bloody thing without your express permission in weeks. A bit of common courtesy is all I’m asking for.”
Buffy lips thinned. “I’m not killing you. That’s what you get.”
His shoulders slumped and he turned away so that she wouldn’t see the hurt in his eyes. “Lucky me.”
“Arghh!” Buffy dropped down on the cot beside him. “God you’re annoying. I came to say that I’m sorry.”
He gave her a quizzical look. “What for?” Spike barely stopped himself from shaking visibly. He could think of nothing she was likely to say that was good for him.
“We can’t figure out what went wrong with the spell.”
“Oh.” He nearly sighed with relief.
“Willow can do a spell to make you forget me entirely. It will probably leave some weird holes in your memory, but it’s the best plan.”
“For who?”
“What?” Buffy shook her head. “Spike, the spell is controlling you. This will let you be…you again.”
“Do I get a choice?”
“Spike.”
He raised his voice just a touch. “Do. I. Get. A choice?” He couldn’t look at her, didn’t want to show her just how terrified he was by her plan. Swallowing hard, he set his gaze on the floor and clenched his jaw.
“I…I don’t know.”
“It’s my soddin’ head.”
“I know.” Buffy waited for a moment before trying again. “I’m trying to do the right thing. This spell…it was done to you. I’m just trying to take it back. I know that it doesn’t feel that way to you, but—”
“Do you know how old I am?”
She frowned. “Old? Like really old?”
He chuckled. “I saw my one hundredth birthday before your mother was a twinkle in her papa’s eyes. All those years—all the things I’ve seen—and you are the most perfect. You’re it. Seeing you, loving you—it’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”
She shook her head. “Spike, I….”
Looking up at her hurt, but he did it anyway. She wasn’t looking at him with disgust anymore. Her normal glare had been replaced with watery eyes full of pity. Spike liked that look even less. “I know you don’t love me. But you did once, for a moment, and it was…the best moment, for me. So if it’s all the same to you, I’d rather you don’t rip that moment out of my skull.”
Giles watched his slayer with narrowed eyes. “So you’ve decided not to remove the spell?”
“No. I mean, yes. Maybe?” Buffy shrugged. “Willow can’t figure out what went wrong with the original spell removal, so we’d have to do a pretty serious memory wipe thing and…Spike doesn’t want to.”
“Well, of course he doesn’t, Buffy. But I fail to see why his opinion is important.”
“It’s his head.”
“Such as it is, yes. But the spell is undoubtedly affecting his decision.”
“I know.” Buffy sighed.
“I must admit, however, the prospect of gaining him as an ally is not an unwelcome one.”
“You think we can trust him?”
He met her eyes with a stern glance. “Absolutely not, but I believe that he could be quite useful as long as we are careful.”
“Useful. You think we should be using him.”
“I understand your reluctance, Buffy. But he seems quite willing to help you, eager even. If you are going to consider his current opinion in regards to the memory wipe it would be…reasonable to consider his desire to assist you as well.”
“Easy for you to say. You’re not the one he thinks he’s in love with.”
Giles rolled his eyes upward. Occasionally he wished his slayer wasn’t a child. “I am aware that there is a certain awkwardness to the situation. However, as your watcher, your safety is my first priority. Our past interactions with Spike have taught us a great deal. He has shown a remarkable tendency to protect those he cares for. That he now cares for you could prove very valuable.”
“Fine. I’ll let him help with patrols.” She didn’t sound pleased with that decision.
She refused to knock. It was her basement and he was just a stupid fangless vampire. Buffy pulled open the door and yelled. “Do you want to go on patrol tonight?”
The vampire in question walked quietly up behind her. “Yes. But I can’t. Got plans.”
Startled, she turned and scowled. “How can you have plans?”
He exhaled loudly through his nose and started to walk away.
“Spike!” She couldn’t believe he was just going to ignore her. “I thought you wanted to help with patrolling. What’s so important that you can’t do it tonight?”
When he turned back at her she could see the anger flashing in his eyes. She knew he was only barely holding back his demon face. His voice was low. “I have plans.”
“Doing what?”
Joyce walked into the kitchen and frowned at her daughter. “William said he would help me with a few things at the gallery tonight.” She turned to give Spike a quick smile. “It’s very nice having such a strong man around when I get a new delivery.”
Buffy watched in bewilderment as Spike followed her mother over to the counter and accepted a thermos.
“Thanks, love.”
Buffy’s eyes widened. “That’s my thermos! Are you using my thermos for blood?”
“Buffy!” Her mother frowned. “Where are your manners? William is a guest and it is very nice of him to help me at the gallery.”
“ Besides…” Spike gave her a smirk. “It’s hot chocolate—mostly. Joyce mixes in just a smidgen of blood to give it a bit of kick—bloody delicious.”
“Eww.”
Spike shrugged and walked out the door.
“I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t expect you to stop home tonight. There’s some leftover pasta in the fridge if you’re hungry. Make sure you lock up when you leave.” Joyce gave her a distracted smile before she followed Spike out the side door.
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