Author's Chapter Notes:
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He watched her walk about the house in a stunned daze. “Buffy, love, the doc was right. You should try to get a bit of sleep.”

She looked up at him with a furrowed brow and he wondered if she had forgotten that he was there. It had been hours since she’d actually spoken to him. She’d nodded occasionally and had let him lead her home when he’d taken her arm, but she’d barely looked up and she hadn’t said anything.

“You’ll be better help to your mum after you’ve slept some.”

“I don’t think I can. Not yet.”

Spike nodded. He felt the same way, so he could hardly fault her for it. “Do you want something to eat or—I could heat up some soup if you’d like.”

“No. I—I feel like I should be doing something. Didn’t the doctor say something about insurance? Was I supposed to call?”

“It’s three in the morning. Unless your mum’s insurance is staffed by vampires, you’re gonna have to wait until morning.”

“Right.” She dropped down on the couch and gave a little laugh.

Spike frowned as he sat down beside her. “Buffy?”

“It’s just…what you said—vampire secretaries…”She trailed off with a slightly hysterical sounding giggle.

He chuckled softly, recognizing exhaustion as the cause of Buffy’s odd mood. “Shows what you know, smarty pants. I’ve met several vampire secretaries.”

“Vamps with jobs.” Buffy sounded skeptical.

“It happens. Tended bar at a seedy little demon establishment for a while once myself.”

“Really?”

He shrugged. “Flash a little fang and the tips are fantastic.”

Buffy grinned. “I’ll bet.” Her smile faltered after a moment and she sighed. “What am I supposed to do now?”

“Rest, so you can put on a brave face for your mum tomorrow.”

Buffy nodded. “Okay. I guess you’re right. I’ll…” Her voice trailed off, but she waited another few minutes before heading up the stairs to her bedroom.

Spike watched her walk almost aimlessly up the stairs and listened to the sound of her turning on the shower. He waited until he heard her turn the water off and walk back to her bedroom before he went down to his cot.

An hour later, he was listening to the sounds of early risen birds when he heard her walking again. He frowned and considered going upstairs to check on her. She surprised him by opening the basement door and walking quietly down the steps.

“Buffy, pet?” He lifted himself up on his elbows.

She didn’t respond. She simply walked over and climbed on top of him.

“What are you…” Spike gasped when she pulled his mouth to hers.

She kissed him hard, almost angrily.

Torn, he pulled away. “Buffy?”

“Do you still love me?”

Spike nodded helplessly. “You know I do.” This was not good. He knew that this was not the perfect moment he’d been waiting for. “But this, it’s not what you want.” He tried to push her back a little, but she didn’t budge.

“Don’t tell me what I want.”

“But you’re all worked up about your mum, love. You’re not yourself right now.”

Buffy leaned close, bringing her mouth near his ear, and whispered. “I want you, now. Are you really saying no?”

Spike stared at her in horror. What was he supposed to say? He knew she could feel him already as hard as a rock beneath her. Could he actually send her away?

She laughed softly, teasingly. “You probably won’t ever get another chance. I mean hanging with my mom and watching soap operas—not very hot.”

She was a bitch. It was one of the things he loved about her, but it didn’t make it easier to deal with. “Is that so? Seems to have worked so far.”

Buffy’s eyes narrowed with anger. “Should have known you were all talk. I’m sure I can find someone else.” She stood up and headed towards the stairs.

It was too much. Spike snapped. The thought of her offering herself to someone else hit him like a sledge hammer. His demon rose, eager to defend his pride and claim his woman. He snatched her up mid-step, tossed her back on his cot, and dropped down to hover close to her face. “No one else touches you.”

“And what could you do if they did? You’re chipped, Spikey. Remember?”

“Don’t test me. I’m too bloody fed up with your games.”

Buffy grinned smugly. “I’m just trying to get to the truth here.”

He knew, deep down under the sounds of his demon howling and her blood rushing so close to the surface, he knew that she was acting out of fear and exhaustion. She was The Slayer, she wasn’t used to waiting helplessly on the sidelines and the situation with her mother was forcing her to do just that. He understood all of that in a way that few others could, it didn’t change the situation. The girl he wanted, the girl he loved, was taunting him. She was daring him to show her just exactly what he could do. He wasn’t a good enough man not to rise to that challenge. Spike claimed her mouth with a possessive kiss and ground his erection against her.

She gasped in surprise.

“The truth? Bloody well know the truth. You know I love you. I love you so much it burns. You’ll dust me for this tomorrow and I’ll still fucking love you.” He came up on his knees, reached down and tugged her shirt up over her head. “You just remember that. You’ll forget that this was your idea.” He pressed her shoulders back down on the mattress and pulled her sleep shorts off with one quick movement. He met her eyes for a second but they were unreadable. “Remember that I love you.” His gaze slid down her body and he moaned before taking her mouth again.

Buffy’s hands dug into his hair and she held on tightly as she returned his kiss. She kissed ferociously, like he was the prey and she the monster.

Spike felt as though he was being consumed. He’d tried to take charge, had thought for a moment that he’d be able to dictate the how of this if not the when or the why. He should have known better. As always, Spike was under her control. His love for her, his need to please her and her knowledge of that need gave her all the power. When he tried kiss his way down her body, she flipped them both over and reached for the button of his jeans.

She grasped his cock in her fist. “This is what I want.”

His eyes nearly rolled back into his head. He made a sound far too much like a whimper for his comfort and reached out for her. “Buffy.”

Pushing his hands away, she moved into position over his aching staff. “Say it. Say it again.”

He didn’t need to ask what she meant. “I love you, Buffy. I’ll always love you.”

She nodded just once before sliding down on him.


Chapter End Notes:
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