Poem is actually by William Brake called To the Evening Star
“Come on Buffy or we will be late. You can’t possibly look any better than you do right now! You don’t need all that stupid makeup anyway!” Dawn whined as she waited impatiently for her sister to get ready.
Buffy grinned as she blotted her lips to remove as layer of pink lipstick.
“Are you saying that I am naturally pretty,“ she glanced at her younger sister’s reflection in the mirror. What a nice sister I have!”
After Buffy gave herself one last look-over she went to her sister and gave her a big hug and messed up her hair a bit. She laughed as Dawn protested with a roll of her eyes, and hand-in-hand they happily left the house.
“I don’t want to miss kick off. Liam is kicking off and he is so dreamy when he does that!“ the young teenager’s eyes seemed to glaze over.
Buffy sighed, wishing Dawn wouldn’t have that crush.
She would let her have it though. Her sister didn’t need to know the horrible things that he has done and what a slime-ball he really was. And if he ever came near her sister, slayer strength or not, he would be a dead man.
Buffy jumped into the car as Dawn continued her encouragement, “Come on! We might still make it in time.”
The sister’s talked about how they thought the game would go as they made their way to the school. Buffy slammed on the gas, effectively beating someone into a fairly close parking spot.
Dawn jumped out and ran into the bleachers, leaving Buffy to pay for them both. After paying, Buffy looked at the bleachers to find her sister, and when she did, she climbed up to site with Dawn, Justin, Janice and Tara. Buffy shimmied past three people so she could sit next to her friend, Tara.
“See,” Dawn pointed to the field. “I told you we would make it, and with a second to spare!”
Dawn cheered as Angel made the first kickoff, starting the game. Her friends and Tara cheered as well, and Buffy, not wanting to be the only one not cheering, joined in.
She decided that since she was in this world she might as well enjoy her wish. She was the one to wish for a “normal” life. You couldn’t get any more normal than a college football game with friends, right? The more the game went on, the more Buffy got into the school spirit. She grinned and threw her arm up in triumph when they scored, screamed in disappointment when they missed a touchdown or pass. She even scolded the referee when she felt he made a bad call. Overall, she was having a great time.
She wondered why she had never watched football before today. Oh right, that was an easy answer. Spike hated American-football, saying they were all a bunch of pansies and they didn’t even use their feet. European-football was the real deal. Xander liked football, but he would always make strange noises and start yelling at the T.V, making a big deal out of it, so he preferred to watch it without any of the girls in the room. She wasn’t sure if her Dawn ever liked it. Buffy had never asked if she liked it and had never offered to take her to a game, so it was possible. If she ever got back to her Sunnydale then she promised herself that she would take Dawn to a game. She would have to ask Spike to a soccer, um, football game, and invite Dawn.
Buffy sighed as she started to think about her old life, the life she probably would never see again. She had to stop always comparing this world to the other world. She had to stop dreaming of Spike and missing him. She had to make the most of this Sunnydale and she was determined that she would.
She snapped herself out of her fantasy then cheered as she witnessed a touchdown. She grinned at her sister as they stuffed themselves on hotdogs. After the hotdogs, Janice and Dawn had popcorn while Tara and she had nachos. Buffy had never eaten so much in her life, but it felt nice to just veg with friends.
She laughed as Dawn threw a piece of popcorn in her hair as a joke. Life wasn’t so bad, when the only worry you had was picking popcorn out of your hair.
After the game was over, Buffy dropped Dawn at the house, and then drove to William’s thinking spot. She grinned, wondering how he would feel about knowing she referred to the spot as ‘William’s Thinking Spot.’
She was giddy as she climbed out of the car and spotted him right away. She was happy that he always seemed to be here and that his Mom didn’t lock him inside the house.
She sat next to William, leaning against a tree. She could see a small smile form on William’s face as he noticed her presence.
“I figured you’d be here tonight.“ Buffy glanced down at his drawing. It was a beautiful picture of the stars. “You draw so well, William. Does your mom know you come here?”
William shook his head, “No, not really. If she had her way I’d be in bed by 8 o’clock. Mother is very worrisome,“ he shrugged his shoulders, “I go to bed, but sneak out and come here until I am tired. There are a lot of trees around my bedroom window, so I am unable to see the stars.“
“I have a tree outside of my window, as well. It blocks the stars,“ she looked around to admire her surroundings. “This is such a beautiful place," she looked at William. “Do you come here every night?”
“No. Sometimes I can’t get back out for the night because my mum needs me for some reason. Or sometimes it rains so I can’t come out here. If I caught a cold, she’d know I was out here.” William said, shaking his head.
Buffy nodded in understanding.
“Well, it doesn’t look like it’s going to rain tonight.” she smiled brightly at William.
“No it doesn’t. It is perfect tonight. There’s no moon out there tonight and tomorrow is supposed to be the same. Although it is a bit dark, you can really admire the stars in their own beauty.“ William looked at Buffy as he finished his last sentence, and then admitted, “Tomorrow is actually supposed to be a bit cloudy. The sky will seem much darker tomorrow.“
Buffy frowned, “Does that mean you won’t be here tomorrow night?”
William turned to Buffy with a small grin on his face, “No. I should be able to come tomorrow night. Mum has an early morning planned for the weekend. She has a party to go to Saturday afternoon so she will wish to be in bed early.”
Buffy smiled and leaned back on her elbows, her head now resting against the tree. She shivered as a gust of wind blew past them, and rubbed her arms to make the goose-bumps go away. William took his coat of and offered it to Buffy. With a smile, she accepted the coat and put it on. She scrunched the hood up so she could protect her head from the hard ground.
She stared up at the night sky, and then turned to look at William, “Will you read something to me? Something that you wrote? You can pick which one…”
William didn’t say anything at first, so she turned her head away to continue admiring the starts. Suddenly his soft British accent filtered to her ears.
“Thou fair-haired angel of the evening,
Now, whilst the sun rests on the mountains, light
Thy bright torch of love; thy radiant crown
Put on, and smile upon our evening bed!
Smile on our loves, and while thou drawest the
Blue curtains of the sky, scatter thy silver dew
On every flower that shuts its sweet eyes
In timely sleep. Let thy west wing sleep on
The lake; speak silence with thy glimmering eyes,
And wash the dusk with silver. Soon, full soon,
Dost thou withdraw; then the wolf rages wide,
And the lion glares through the dun forest.
The fleeces of our flocks are covered with
Thy sacred dew; protect with them with thine influence.”
Buffy stayed quiet for a few minutes then turned to him, whispering, “That was beautiful. Did you write it?”
William nodded, clearly embarrassed and she smiled, “Well it’s even more beautiful now, knowing you wrote it.”
William blushed, and then looked down at his watch. He suddenly stood up, effectively breaking the moment.
“I should go home.” he mumbled.
Buffy nodded and offered, “I’ll drive you home if you’d like. To make sure you get there safe and all.”
William agreed, collecting his notebook and placed it inside the tree.
Buffy looked at him curious, “You leave it in there?”
William grinned, “Perfect place. No risk of mum finding it and no one would put their hand in there not being able to see it.”
Buffy climbed into the car and waited for William to buckle his seatbelt before she started the car.
“Clever idea. So at the curb again?” William only nodded.
They drove in silence, but Buffy couldn’t take it anymore.
“Would you like to see a movie or, maybe, get something to eat sometime?” she hopefully asked,
“I don’t go out much,“ he shrugged. “We will see.”
Buffy didn’t like that answer, but just let it go as she pulled up to the curb. Before he managed to leave, she quickly leaned over to place a soft kiss on his cheek.
William pulled away, almost immediately, and then turned towards her with a shy smile.
“T-Thank you for the ride, B-Buffy. See you tomorrow at school.” William ran out of the car and towards his house.
Buffy watched him with a grin; she was so on cloud nine. Spending time with William, and catching glimpses of Spike in him, were enough to be acceptable. Tara thought, William, was a good guy and Buffy’s family seemed to approve of him. Things were looking positive.
She pulled into the driveway, quietly, and climbed the tree to her room. There, she fell back on her bed, fully dressed, with a huge smile on her face. She was starting to have feeling for William, but didn’t know if it was because of William or because he looked like Spike.
She pulled out the picture she had drawn of Spike, and traced lightly over it, careful not to smudge it. She sighed as she still found herself missing Spike. As great as this new world was, Spike was missing.
No matter how much she pretended that, William and Spike, were one in the same; she knew in her heart that that wasn’t true.
Buffy sighed as she thought back on how she had treated Spike in the past. Sure they had some good moments when they were alone. They talked and had plenty of mind blowing sex but she was awful towards him when around her friends. She just couldn't admit to them that she had fallen for a vampire. They would judge her and be ashamed of her if they knew that. they would probably even hate her if they understood the feelings she was harboring for him secretly. The more her feelings grew, the worse she was to him. She was so afraid that her friends would judge her harshly if they knew of her feelings that she made sure there was no way anyone including Spike could guess her feelings. It was the safest thing to do.
All Buffy had wanted to do was to connect to the world around her somehow but the only way she found to do so was to be with Spike. The only way she could be with Spike and not risk losing her friends was to have lots of sex with him but never give him a relationship. To keep her feelings secret, that was just how it had to be.
She also knew if she had told Spike that she even had the slightest of feelings towards her, he would go announce it to the world including her friends and family. She regretted the fact she couldn't admit her feelings now but there was nothing she could do about it anymore. Before she wasn't willing to risk it but now if she was there, she might be willing to give it a try. She wondered if absence in this case really was making the heart grow fonder. She shook her head from her memories realizing this wasn't just some vacation but instead a whole new life. There was no point in making plans of the past because it was not her future.
She focused on thinking back on where she was now, in a world where William was accepted and not the hated demon that Spike was. William was a hero not a reformed blood-thirsty vampire. Buffy looked at Spike's picture feeling sorry that she ever treated him so badly. She should have listened when he talked more, spent more time learning what he liked to do and agreed to date him in public. She couldn't do that but she could do better with William.
She decided she should continue to treat William as she should have treated Spike. That is what she would do. She got up to put on her piggy pajamas, and then brushed her hair.
“I have to treat William as I should have Spike, and it will make everything better.”