Buffy glanced at herself in the rear-view mirror and quickly rearranged her hair so that it lay perfectly, framing her face. With a smile, she got out of the car, reminding herself along the way that no matter how much she longed for Spike to be there instead of William, William was who she was going to be with now.
She felt confident and prepared as she made her way closer to William. She walked over to the rock that he normally sat on. She was not disappointed when she was met with the image of William gazing up at the stars, a pencil propped behind his ear, and an open book in his lap. When she took a seat next to him, she noticed that the book was a book of poetry, a book that Spike had in his collection. She smiled at the thought of Spike, but quickly shooed away such thoughts.
“Hello, William.” she said gently.
William didn’t seem surprised when he turned to smile at her.
“Hello, Buffy. How are you this e-evening?”
Buffy looked down at her hands as she moved to get a little more comfortable.
“I’m alright,“ she shrugged her shoulders. “I just left the Bronze. I missed you being there.”
William closed his poetry book and placed it inside of the tree trunk.
“I don’t go there…” he trailed off, then averted his gaze to the ground.
Buffy nodded as she whispered, “You don’t feel like you belong, right?” William glanced up at her in surprise, but nodded in agreement. “I kinda felt that way tonight. Willow was with Tara and Xander was with Anya, well not really, but you get the idea,“ she laughed nervously. “I didn’t have anyone.“
William crossed his legs as he rested his body weight against his folded elbows.
“Y-You didn‘t go with Liam or P-Parker?“ William stuttered.
Buffy sighed as she rested back on her elbows glancing at the stars.
“No. Or Riley. Don’t forget about him,“ she paused. “Why was I even with them?”
William didn’t know what to say to that, so he remained quiet until she answered her own question.
“Because they were interested in me and thought I was something special if even for a few minutes.”
William turned his head, quickly, towards her.
“You are something special, Buffy. You don’t need some daft gits to remind you of that.“ William blurted out, but immediately felt embarrassed by his forwardness. He blushed as he started to stand up.
Buffy placed a gentle hand on his wrist, pulling him down to sit beside her.
“It’s okay, William. Please stay for a little bit,” she patted the ground directly next to her. “Sit with me.”
Once he settled down beside her, she rested her head on his shoulder. William stiffened at the contact, but soon relaxed.
She closed her eyes as she listened to his steady heartbeat, that quickened the longer she listened. He was obviously nervous. They sat for a few moments, just enjoying each other's company, but William soon broke the silence.
“What are your plans for the weekend, Buffy?”
“I don’t really have plans. Well none of the fun variety,“ Buffy joked. “I have some math homework to do. So maybe I can stop by and have you help me with it,“ she paused to stare into his eyes. “William?“
He was so close that if he leaned forward just a few inches their lips would meet. He didn’t kiss her though. He just stared at her.
“William?” she whispered again.
“Buffy?” William matched her quiet tone.
She licked her lips that were suddenly extremely dry.
“Would you like to go to the movies with me tomorrow?”
William’s cheeks turned bright red, but a joyful smile plastered his face.
“Y-Yes. Yes I would.“ he answered her. His voice filled with excitement.
Buffy smile beamed, thankful that he had said ‘yes’.
“Can we go out to dinner first? I know this really great restaurant that I hope exists here. I think tomorrow will be good. We can go before the movies, then, you know, go to the movies together. I promise that it will be a lot of fun---”
William was confused about some parts of her babbling, but he didn’t want her to feel nervous so he placed a finger across her lips.
“Alright, Buffy.“ William nodded.
Buffy chose to moment to lean forward and kiss William. She eagerly kissed him, trying to get some sort of passion with him, but he instead held back, kissing her gently and lovingly. He ran a hand through her hair and when he reached her back he paused for a moment. He seemed unsure of himself. Unsure of what to do next.
This wasn’t Spike. She couldn’t pretend anymore. She wanted Spike. As much as she liked William, he would never be Spike. She quickly broke away from the kiss and brought a hand to her mouth.
“I-I’m sorry. I have to go.”
Buffy got up and started running. She didn’t have time to process getting into her car. She just wanted to run.
“Buffy!” William called out to her.
She ignored his call as she ran across the road, but stopped when she heard his pained voice.
“Buffy, please. I want to talk to you.“
She turned around, not wanting to hurt him anymore than she already had. He started to say something, but the sound of a car’s squealing brakes drowned out his voice. She turned towards the sound. It was dark out and the only thing she saw were two headlights coming straight towards her. She stood there, frozen, frightened. She let out a piercing scream.
Within seconds she was pushed aside, hitting the ground so hard that the her breath was knocked out of her.
Everything seemed to move in slow motion as she witnessed the car hit William. William had pushed her out of the way. The car had hit him, and not her. He had saved her.
The force of the hit had William flying up over the car and smashing into the windshield. He bounced over the top of the car and landed on the middle of the road. He laid there, limp and not moving.
She finally was able to take in a deep breath and yell, “William! No!”
She ran over to him and lifted his head into her arms. She could vaguely hear the driver talking on the phone, probably calling 9-1-1.
“You’ll be okay. Help is on the way, William.” Buffy managed to whisper through her tears.
William lifted a hand to cup the underside of her chin.
“I love you, Buffy,” he coughed blood out of his mouth. “I---”
“Stay still, William. They’re-They’re coming,” she sobbed. “Help is coming.”
“I’ve always loved you, Buffy.”
“Oh, William. I love you too. I’ve loved you for years. I just wouldn’t admit it.” Even though this was William who was dying, Buffy knew it was part of Spike dying as well. She loved both of them in their own special way and now she was losing them both.
Buffy touched his face trying to will him to survive whispering softly, "William, I'm so sorry...I did this to you. I hurt you."
William shook his head as he lifted his finger swiped gently across her cheek whispering, "You are special. N---"
William paused coughing up more blood, "Never forget that."
Then with a gentle smile, William's arm fell lifeless to his side.
“No! Don’t die! Please hold on!” Buffy shook William slightly, begging him to open his eyes. “The sirens are close, William. Can’t you hear them?!”
She rocked his still form. She continued to beg him to open his eyes, even though she knew he stopped breathing. She sobbed and cradled him in her arms, ignoring the amount of blood that covered her clothes and skin.
She was suddenly pulled away by the paramedics, who gently pushed her aside to give William CPR.
Buffy then heard the words that she already knew in her heart to be true.
“He’s dead.”
She sobbed into her hands repeating to herself over and over again, "This can't be happening. This isn't real."
But it was. Buffy's mind was spinning with the agony knowing she had hurt Spike and now she had caused William to die. She didn't even notice as a policeman, holding a pencil and a pad of paper came over to her.
“Miss, can you tell me what happened?”
Buffy sniffled, still a wreck, as she pushed her hair from her eyes and rubbed the back of her blood covered hand over her eyes, making sight even more impossible.
“William and I were talking and we kissed, but it was all wrong so I left. I was running across the road and William, he called my name. I turned around for just a second and the car was coming too fast. His brakes started to squeal but before it could hit me….”
She took a deep breath as more tears poured down her face, “William pushed me out of the way and it hit him instead. I saw it all in slow motion. He was hit up and over the car and landed in a pile. I screamed at least I think it was me screaming. It was all so fast. I went to him and---”
The policeman interrupted her, “Was he alive when you got there?”
Buffy nodded, “He was bleeding and his arm was at an awkward angle but he was alive. He said he loved me and I said I did too and then he---” She covered her face with her hands as her pain and tears overcame her. The policeman put a hand on her shoulder as he stated, “He died.”
Buffy nodded, not lifting her face as he asked, “Is there someone I can call you for you? Someone who can take you home?” Buffy looked at him in shock as he asked, “Buffy Summers, right?” Buffy just stared blankly at him and the policeman recognized she was going into shock. She swayed on her feet as he acted, quickly supporting her, “Hold on, Buffy, we will call your parents to come get you. Just hang on there.”
Buffy suddenly felt tired and the tears wouldn’t stop. The whole world appeared blurry and she turned to look at where William was still motionless on the road. The paramedics started to move him onto the stretcher.
“Don’t touch him!” she shouted.
She raced across the street to lean down, whispering, “Wake up! You CAN’T die! I need you. Come on!”
She shook her shoulders away from the grabbing that someone was doing, and wasn’t sure how long she was there until she felt the gentle hands of her mother steering her away.
“Come on, Buffy. Let’s get you home so they can take care of William. Ok sweetie?” Joyce gently whispered.
Hank climbed into her car but Buffy mostly ignored him as she accepted her mother’s help to climb into her station wagon. Buffy sat completely still on the short ride home.
She ignored the horrified look on Dawn’s face as she went into her room, shutting the door behind her. She didn’t even bother to remove her blood stained clothes as she laid on the bed on her stomach as her tears started to fall again. There, she sobbed heavily until she reached over to the end of her bed to find Spike’s picture. She curled up in a ball, still crying, resting the picture she had drawn of them together in her hand as she fell asleep.