Buffy’s eyelids fluttered open and she was immediately confused. When she dozed off she was crying, laying beside William’s grave. And now she had opened her eyes to see Spike’s crypt.
“Slayer, are you alright?” Spike’s unmistakable voice came from behind her.
She bit her lower lip then flung herself into Spike’s arms, letting the picture fall to the ground unnoticed. Spike stiffened for a moment but recovered quickly, wrapping his arms around her as she babbled, “My God, you’re alive Spike. You’re really here. You aren’t dead and you’re here and alive!”
Spike pulled his head back so he could look into her tear stained eyes.
“What? Of course I’m here you, silly bint. Where else would I be?“ he continued. “And I’m about as bloody alive as I was yesterday…well as alive as vampire can be. What the bloody hell is wrong with you Buffy?”
Buffy sniffled, taking in the familiar scent of Spike which consisted of tobacco, whiskey, blood and leather. She closed her eyes, letting the scent wash over her as she tightened her arms around his neck.
“Spike, I do love you. I really do. Just don’t leave me, ok? Don’t get yourself killed to save my life, ok? Please promise me that…please…,” she whispered.
Spike pulled back, yet again, to look at Buffy’s tear-stricken face. “Buffy, luv, what happened to you?”
Buffy frowned as she whispered, still not having control over her emotions, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. Just promise me you won’t do anything stupid and get yourself killed or leave, ok?”
Spike frowned. “I’d get dusted Buffy, not killed, but I won’t.” He sat back on the stone wall in the cemetery, letting the Slayer, continue to clutch onto him. She was still crying and hysterical.
“You believe me that I love you, right?” she begged. “Tell me you believe me.“
Spike stared her down, as if reaching into her soul. He only nodded his response.
“I won’t do anything stupid and I won’t leave, at least, willingly. Now care to tell me what the bloody hell this is about?”
Now that Buffy was back in her reality, she wanted to help Xander and Anya. She pulled away from Spike determined to set things right with them before she moved forward in her life with Spike.
“I have to do something for Anya and Xander. It’s best if I go see Xander alone. I’ll tell you what this is about later,“ she gave him a peck on the cheek. “Will you wait for me? I want to be with you right now, but I have to see Xander. It’s important.”
Spike studied her for a moment then nodded. “Of course. I’ll be in my crypt. Stop by whenever.”
Buffy wiped her eyes, knowing it wouldn’t help after thirty minutes of crying, so she gave up and started to run. She paused, turning at the edge of the cemetery, noticing Spike still watching her.
“I do love you, Spike. But we can talk about that more in a bit. I’ll be back soon.”
Spike stood there, staring at the spot that Buffy had once been, not knowing what to think.
When Buffy arrived at Xander’s apartment, she pounded on the door loudly.
“Xander open up! Now…I need to talk to you.”
Xander never came to the door so she let herself in. Luckily the door was unlocked. The first things she noticed were an empty living room followed by empty drawers and a closet that looked ransacked in the bedroom. She glanced around the rooms and noticed a phone number had been scribbled on a piece of paper near the living room phone. She picked it up and dialed the number, hoping that she would find Xander.
“Wild Palms Hotel. Need a room for the night?” a man answered.
Buffy replied, “Where are you located?”
As the man rambled off the address, Buffy jotted it down on the paper. Barely taking time to hang up the phone, Buffy took off running.
She ran into Spike’s crypt stating quickly, “I need a ride, please. You can’t come in with me, but I really need a ride. Can you do that?”
Spike nodded gesturing towards the door as he swung his leather jacket around him, “Let’s go slayer.”
They walked, side by side, behind his crypt where he kept his bike tucked away from harm and from sight. He noticed Buffy shivering; only being dressed in her pajamas and quickly draped his jacket over her. She smiled gratefully as Spike climbed on the bike first, assisting Buffy to climb behind him. She held on tightly, enjoying the scent of Spike and the rush of wind hitting her face.
Before Buffy knew it, she was at a hotel counter begging the guy to tell her which room Xander checked into. He had paid cash but the man only had one male matching Xander’s description. Buffy gave the man a quick ‘thank you’ then dashed up the stairs, leaving Spike awkwardly standing there.
She pounded on the door once again demanding, “Xander. It’s me Buffy. Open this door or I’ll bust it in leaving you with the bill.”
She hardly recognized the man that opened the door. He looked worse than Buffy had ever seen him look. He was dressed in his suit still but you could tell he had been crying. He had loosened the tie and ditched the jacket, but what bothered her the most was the fact that he looked absolutely dejected. Buffy pushed open the door, ignoring his protests as she entered the hotel room, which was hot and smelled of alcohol.
She gagged as she shook her head. “Why the hell are you staying here when you have a great apartment?”
Xander slammed the door shut looking at Buffy. “What do you want? I’m not in the mood for games.”
Buffy didn’t let his nasty attitude detour her from her goal. She backed up before realizing she didn’t want to sit down so instead she started to pace, “Ok, one day, not too long ago, you gave me a speech. Do you even REMEMBER the speech?”
Xander sighed as she sat down on the bed and began eating his cheesy chips. “I give a lot of speeches. Buff, can’t this wait? I’m really not in the mood for visitors.”
Buffy shook her head as she started speaking again, “You love Anya. You described it to me once in amazing detail and you also described me. You said I was and I quote, ‘Acting like a crazy person.’ Ring a bell yet?”
Xander barely looked up as he pretended to stare at the bag in his hand so Buffy continued, “How about, ‘take this for instance; you don’t wanna deal so you hide?’”
Xander muttered in reply, “I’m hardly hiding if you are here. Obviously I can be found.”
Buffy rolled her eyes, moving to kneel in front of him, knowing just how he was feeling.
“Xander, you love Anya. I know you do. I’ve noticed how you look at her and touch her when you think no one is watching. I’ve watched how you interact with her having sometimes more patience than any of us can muster. I’ve seen you laugh with her, smile with her and you once described it as, “scary, messy, no-emotions-barred need” and you told me that about Riley and I never felt that with him or anyone else until much later. Point is this Xander; you are walking away from something you shouldn’t. Can you honestly say you’d rather spend your life without Anya than take a risk and marry her? Can you honestly say you don’t love her anymore or that love isn’t enough? Can you honestly tell me you would rather sit here alone, eating a bag of cheesy chips than hold Anya close and make love to her, making sure she knows how you feel?” Xander’s eyes glazed over as Buffy watched hoping she was getting through. Meanwhile, Xander was remembering the day that Buffy was talking about…
“I’ve gotta say something… ‘Cause…I don’t think I’ve made it clear.” He watched as Anya in his favorite nightgown stood up from the bed she was waiting for him on and walked towards him. He knew in that moment she was the one for him. She was the perfect female placed on this earth for him. He couldn’t let her go, “I’m in love with you. Powerfully and painfully in love. The things you do…the way you think…the way you move…I get excited every time I’m about to see you. You make me feel like I’ve never felt before in my life. Like a man. I just thought you might wanna know.”
He remembered their kiss and their lovemaking and the vow he had made to himself. The vow was to never live his life without her because it was so much better with her in it. He looked at Buffy, who was kneeling before him with tears falling down her face and he put a hand on her shoulder.
“Where’s Anya?” he asked.
Buffy wiped her eyes as she admitted, “Not sure but Willow can summon her. She’s a vengeance demon now and needs you more than ever." She looked at Xander noticing the tears that filled his eyes and the pain that was etched on his face.
"She's in serious pain, Xander. This brokenness between the two of you is killing her as much as it's killing you. Believe me I know. I can see the pain on both of your faces. She's so lost that she became a vengeance demon again and I can see that she didn't really want to. She just was in so deep of pain after the way you hurt her. You can fix this though. Only you can."
Xander was about to say something when Buffy cut him off with a slash of her hand through the air, "Trust me on this one. Anya needs you and you need her. You guys are perfect for each other. Apart you are miserable and this is destroying you both. Will you just talk to her? Try to make things work?"
Xander closed his eyes for a moment before standing up, looking determined. He glanced around the hotel as he collected his jacket and other items. Once he had all of his belongings, he gestured for Buffy to walk out of the room first.
“Need a ride?”
Buffy shook her head as he watched her walk to the bike Spike was already on. He sighed as he watched Buffy smile at Spike and wrap her arms around him. Xander was too focused to deal with it today. He needed Anya. He threw his stuff into the back of the car and sped away to Buffy’s house to summon his love.