Author's Chapter Notes:
To avoid any confusion, I wanted to let you guys know that in the flashbacks before William and Buffy’s breakup I will be referring to William as Spike because that is the name he went by before going through all of the changes brought about because of their breakup. Enjoy the chapter!
Chapter 10

She awoke to see it was dark out; she must have slept away the afternoon. Deciding to make something out of the evening and not just lie around, she made her way down to the living room. William was asleep on the couch. He looked so peaceful but older too. When had the time passed? She wondered. This man had been the center of her life in one way or another for almost a decade. Why did things between them have to be so complicated? He opened his eyes, and for a moment she lost her breath when she looked into those blue eyes.

“Why are you here?” she asked him

“Must’ve fallen asleep,” he answered

“No. Why aren’t you running? I gave you an out. I relieved you of your duties when I moved here.”

He sat up and shrugged his shoulders.

“I love you.”

He said it as if it were that simple, as though that would resolve everything. Suddenly feeling drained and dejected she slowly sat down on the couch across from him.

“You love me,” she said. “It’s that simple.”

He just looked at her with an expression that said, “Duh.”

“You and I were over a long time ago,” She reminded him.

He felt the urge to argue, to explain that they were never over, not in his heart. She had always belonged to him, but she looked so pale and suddenly slightly green. He grabbed for the bucket he’d cleaned out a while ago and put it under her just as she leaned over to be sick.

“You need me,” he told her when she’d finished. “The chemo is making you sicker, weaker. You can’t do this on your own.”

She glared at him.

“So what? You’re going to stay and watch? You’re going to watch me die?”

“I love you Buffy,” He told her again. “I’ll stay with you to help you, and you’re not going to die.”

Too tired and sick to fight anymore, she simply rolled her eyes and threw her head on the back of the couch. Smiling at his momentary victory, he wagged his eyebrows at her and made her laugh.

“Know you probably don’t want to, but you should eat something.”

She made a face. “I just threw up.”

“So go wash up. I made some soup. Won’t sit heavy on your stomach.”

“I’m still mad at you,” she told him as she got up and walked to the bathroom.

********************************************************

“Well? Did you find out the name of the town?” Anya asked Xander as soon as he hung up the phone.

“No. Not even a hint.”

“We’re never going to find her! Do you know how big Maine is?” she whined.

“What’s with the sudden need to find Buffy, Ahn?” he asked.

“Not Buffy. I want to find William before she breaks him again.”

He closed his eyes and clenched his fists in exasperation. Xander loved his girlfriend, but sometimes she could be very trying. He wished more than anything that she could see Buffy the way he saw her. He wanted Anya to love his best friend as much as he did.

Those two hadn’t gotten along from the first time they’d met. He remembered being so excited for them to meet the night Buffy had returned from a short vacation she’d taken with her mother. They had decided to go out to the Bronze and Anya was looking forward to meeting the girl Xander had described as a sister and the girlfriend Spike had missed so much. Spike and Anya had hit if off right away. It had been as if they had known each other forever. Xander hoped things would be the same for her and Buffy.

They arrived at the Bronze to find Buffy and Spike sitting at a table having what seemed to be some kind of argument. Spike’s hands were flailing about and Buffy sat stone faced across from him, her arms crossed on her chest. Finally, he seemed to give up and stood up, roughly pushing the chair out of his way and walked over to the bar. Anya gave Xander a questioning look, and all he could do was shrug. He thought things were better between the couple after her phone call to him. Neither had mentioned anything although now that he thought about it, Spike was drinking more in Buffy’s absence.

“Come on!” Anya said, pulling on his hand and interrupting his train of thought. “Let’s go meet the perfect woman.”

He noted a bit of jealousy in her tone, so he gave her a kiss on the lips and said,

“You’re the perfect woman.”

She smiled at him, and they made their way over to Buffy. She didn’t seem to notice them until Xander cleared his throat. She looked up and put a smile on her face.

“Xander!” she said standing and giving him a hug. “I missed you. How are you?”

He pulled her away from him and looked her. She looked thinner, and her entire demeanor just seemed sad. How come he hadn’t noticed this? He thought that with her mother’s health improving she would be happier now.

“How are you?” he asked, “How was your trip?”

She smiled again. “It was great. We went to the ocean and stayed in a really nice hotel. She needed the time away.”
Xander was about to ask about Spike when he felt Anya elbow him in the ribs.

“Ow! Oh, sorry!” he said. “Buffy, this is my friend Anya.”

“Friend!” Anya practically yelled.

“Special friend.” Xander amended. “Very special.”

Buffy smiled at the irony in Xander’s fear of commitment. He always wanted a girlfriend, and here he was with one, too scared to even call her girlfriend. She extended her hand to Anya, whom she found to be very pretty.

“Nice to meet you.”

Anya took her hand. “Xander never stops talking about you,” she said.

“So,” Xander said interrupting Anya before she said something to embarrass him. “Where’s Spike?”

“Oh, you know, drinking. Where else?” she answered bitterly.

Catching on to her tone, Xander thought he should talk to her alone and see what was bothering her.

“Speaking of drinks, I sure am thirsty. You want anything, Buffy? Ahn?”

“I could use a diet coke,” Buffy answered.

“Ooh, I’ll have one of those yummy chocolatini’s,” Anya added.

“Great!” Xander said. “Anya, would you mind getting those? Oh, and a Sam Adams for me, please?” he took some money out of his pocket and gave it to her not noticing the angry glare she was directing his way.

Anya made her way over to the bar, and seeing Spike, she headed over to him.

“Finally met Buffy,” she told him as she sidled up beside him and motioned to the bar tender.

“Yeah, and what’d you think?” he asked, taking a shot of what she assumed was whiskey from its amber color.

“She’s pretty.”

“That she is,” he agreed.

“Kind of uptight though. I mean I didn’t talk to her much, but she seemed stiff.”

“Right bitch when she wants to be,” he said, taking down another shot.

Anya noticed he had two more shot glasses lined up. Buffy must have really upset him.

“Xander thinks she can do no wrong.”

“Xander’s got rose colored glasses when it comes to her,” he explained. “Been in love with her since grade school.”

Spike took his third shot and looked at Anya. The look on her face made him realize what he’d just said.

“Anya, don’ listen to me. ‘M drunk. Xander loves you he’s been over Buffy since forever. ‘M just angry an’ taking it out on you. Wasn’ fair of me. ‘M sorry, pet.”

Knowing from the way his accent had changed she realized that he was indeed drunk. Anya took his hand and asked,

“What did she do Spike? It’s the first time you’ve seen each other in two weeks and already you’re getting drunk.”

“’S nothing, pet,” he assured her with a smile. “Order your drinks an go on back to your man. I’ll be over in a bit.”

Anya ordered her drinks and sat next to him in silence watching him take his last shot and order a beer.
She finally got her drinks and made her way over to the table. She came back to see Buffy and Xander laughing together, and she felt a twinge of anger.

“Here you go,” She said, setting the drinks on the table and sitting down. “You’re boyfriend’s at the bar Buffy.”

“I know.” Buffy said turning serious.

“Something’s clearly bothering him, and here you are laughing the night away with Xander.”

“Just so you know Anya, Spike’s always at the bar, regardless of whether something’s bothering him or not.” Buffy told the girl tersely.

“But don’t you think maybe you should go talk to him instead of sitting here enjoying your time with my boyfriend. Didn’t you just get back today?”

“I don’t think that’s any of your business.” Buffy informed her, getting angrier by the minute. “I know Spike and how to deal with him. Right now, I’m catching up with our friend. Why don’t you go talk to my boyfriend since you know him so well?”

Anya sat there for a minute before finally standing up. She turned in Xander's direction and told him “I’m going to go to the bar, and see what’s up with Spike. You can stay here and hang out with Buffy.”

They spent the rest of the evening separately until it was time to go home. Xander had to help Spike to the car, and Buffy drove home, as Spike was practically passed out in the passenger’s seat.


The relationship between the two girls had stayed the same, tense, but they had managed to be courteous with each other when they were together. Most of the time at least.

“Hmm” Xander said coming back to the present.

“What?” Anya asked

“I’m trying to remember where it was Buffy took her mother that time they went away. You know before Joyce…..” Xander couldn’t finish the sentence.

“Died?” Anya asked. “I remember the night Buffy came back from that trip when we first met. Spike was a mess.”

“I think it was in Maine!” Xander said, not listening to what Anya was saying. “I wish I could remember the town.”


Chapter End Notes:
I'd like to thank my beta Sanity Fair for working on this chapter with me, most of the corrections were made by her although I did choose to keep some of my work as it was. She's done a great job and I think this chapter looks better than the previous ones thanks to her.



You must login (register) to review.