Chapter 14
Buffy paced back and forth in her living room running what had just happened between she and William in the park over and over in her head. Bad Buffy. She told herself. She would have to ask him to leave as soon as he came home. She was just starting to formulate a plan when the phone rang.
“Hello?”
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William pulled into the driveway and put his old, battered but much loved black Desoto into park. He made no move to get out, leaving his hands on the large steering wheel instead. He knew what awaited him inside. She would have shut down by now and would be telling him to leave, or she would ignore him altogether. He put his head on the steering wheel and shut his eyes. What was he going to do?
Looking to get some advice from an old friend, William pulled his cell phone out and dialed Xander’s number.
“Hello?” Xander sounded out of breath.
“Xander, hey its Will.”
“William!” Xander said unusually loud, “What’s up? How are things?”
“You okay, mate?” William pulled the phone away from his ear and lifted his eyebrow in a questioning manner as if Xander were able to see him.
“What? Me? Sure, sure, I’m fine. Same as always. Just sitting here at home in Sunnydale watching TV, having a beer…” Xander said while frantically looking for Anya as he speed walked up the street from where they had parked their car.
She had convinced him to take a break from their long drive after whining at him that she needed to use the bathroom for the better part of the last hour. They were driving through farm country on their way to Maine when he decided to stop. Anya had said she would only be a few minutes, but now he’d lost her. He wiped at his forehead with a napkin; he was not used to this kind of heat. Sure he was from California, but he rarely went outside, not even when he was working at a construction site. He usually stayed in the office as much as possible.
“Okay,” William thought Xander couldn’t have sounded stranger.
“Listen, the reason I’m calling is because I think I messed up.”
“Xander! Xander come look,” He heard Anya calling in the background.
“Hold on a sec, buddy,” Xander told William. “I’m on the phone!” He covered the speaker with his hand and narrowed his eyes at Anya.
Anya was walking speedily toward Xander, a smile on her face not paying him any attention.
“I found the World’s Largest Ball of Twine!” she skipped and waved her arms in the air in excitement.
“What?” William was still able to hear Anya’s muffled voice in spite of Xander’s attempts to cover it up.
“Wine,” Xander told him while placing a finger over his mouth so Anya would quiet down, “She found a big box of wine.”
“Yeah, okay.” William did not believe his friend for a second. “Look, can see you’re busy right now. I’ll just call you later.”
“Later, yeah, that’ll be good. Say hi to Buffy for me.”
“Bye, Xand you say bye to Anya for me.”
Xander shut his cell phone and glared at Anya, who had finally caught up to him.
“You almost blew our cover!” He put his hands on his hips, and gave her his “angry” look.
“What are you talking about?” she asked, eyebrows raised, clearly confused at her boyfriends antics.
“That was William on the phone. He heard you screaming about twine. We can’t risk them knowing we’re driving over to them. Buffy’ll panic and run.”
“Oh, please, Xander, do you realize how far away I was? He won’t have a clue, now come on! Grab your camera. We need to take a picture with the twine!” she ran ahead of him in her excitement.
Xander rolled his eyes but checked his pocket to make sure his camera was in it, then checked his other pocket to make sure the box he’d been carrying since Sunnydale was also safe. He smiled thinking of how he’d successfully snuck out and gone to the jewelry store to buy it, and how happy she’d be when he finally popped the question. He was just waiting for the perfect opportunity to present itself. For now he would just follow her toward the big ball of twine, hell at this point he was in so deep he’d follow that woman anywhere.
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William hung up the phone thinking about how odd the conversation had been, even for Xander. Taking a deep breath to steady his nerves, he stepped out of the car and walked up the white pebbled pathway that led to the front door. He took a moment, looking at the green door and the white flowered wreath that hung on it.
“Here goes nothing.” he said aloud and opened the door walking tentatively into the living room.
What he saw was not what he had expected. Buffy sat quietly on her dark brown couch, hands folded neatly on her lap staring off into space looking forlorn. She seemed lost in thought, and it looked as though the couches’ overly fluffy cushions were swallowing up her small frame.
“Buffy?” he walked toward her, his eyebrows creased with worry, “What’s wrong lamb?”
Kneeling in front of her, he took her hands in his. She looked up at him, hazel eyes wide, startled as if just now noticing his presence.
“Just thinking about my mom,” she told him, a bitter sweet smile forming on her quivering lips.
Spike stood from the floor and took a seat next to her keeping hold of one of her hands.
“Wonderful woman, Joyce,” he said.
“She was.” Buffy wiped at a stray tear before it ran down her cheek, “She always knew what to do no matter how hard things got.”
William noticed her eyes getting watery, tilting his head to the side he asked,
“What is it sweetheart? What’s wrong?”
“You always have pet names for me.” She placed her other hand over their intertwined ones, “I used to think it was so sweet.”
“And now?” his blue eyes gleamed with hope.
“Now I’m just confused.” She told him, “It’s been so long and I’ve tried so hard to move on,”
“Have you?” he asked, his eyes darkening and his shoulders tensing up, “Moved on?”
“William I’m dying. What do you want from me? All I could give you is a few months, a year if that.” The tears were now falling in earnest, but she maintained a controlled look on her face, determined not to let her emotions take over.
“You are not dying, an’ even if you were, I’d happily take a year. I love you, you don’t seem to understand that, but I do an’ I’m going to show you, going to prove it to you.” His determination was evident in the way he placed his hand on her cheek and leaned toward her, his eyes firmly set on hers.
“You’re the one who doesn’t want to listen! I am dying! I have cancer and I’m going to die just like my mother did and I’m not planning on taking anyone down with me, not this time.” She told him, freeing her hand from his hold and, slapping his other hand away from her face.
“What do you mean, not this time? What are you talking about Buffy?” he asked, the worry lines on his face becoming more prominent with each bit of information she gave him.
“I just got a phone call,” she went on, ignoring him “It was my doctor; he said that I have to start going to chemo more often. He wants me to go see him next week and then get chemo afterwards. What do you think that means William? It’s not working! They’re upping my dose because what I’ve been doing isn’t working.”
“That doesn’t mean you’re dying. It just means they have to work a little harder to get rid of it, that’s all. You’ll see this will get rid of the cancer once and for all.”
There was so much emotion written on his face so much worry in his eyes, but she was determined to go on.
“William,” her shoulders were slightly slouched, her entire demeanor begging him to understand.
“Listen, I’m right here with you. We’re going to fight this together and you’ll see that we’re going to win.” He took her hand once again and with his other one lifted her chin up to look at him.
He smiled at her, but she knew he was struggling to stay strong for her, she could see his eyes starting to tear up.
“William I was thinking,” she said, moving her face away from his hand.
“That’s never good,” he deadpanned.
“I’m serious, I think you should go home. You need to be in Sunnydale. That’s where your AA group is. That’s where your sponsor lives. Things are going to get intense here and I can’t risk you starting to drink again, not because of me.”
“Not getting rid of me Summers.” He smiled, having known all along that she would do this.
“Will—“ He stopped her.
“Maine has alcoholics too. Stands to reason they’d have AA groups. Don’t worry ‘bout me luv, got it all under control. Won’t screw up this time, promise.”
“But—“
“Shh. Can’t get rid of me that easily. Won’t get complicated ‘tween us. From now on we’re just friends. Nothing more. Now go get ready for dinner, need your strength. We can watch a movie later if you’re up for it.”
“Stubborn ass,” She mumbled to herself as she got up off the couch.
“Heard that!”
“I meant you to!” she turned to look at him and smiled as she walked away.
William smiled. Things had gone better than expected. Sure she’d tried to kick him out again, but this time he won out and if things continued going the way he wanted, he’d be staying here for quite some time.
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As the week went on he noticed that she let down her guard, at least a bit. They would joke around and watch movies together before bed. Every once in a while he found her in a sullen mood, but he quickly lifted her spirits and had her laughing again. She helped him to find an AA group in the area. She even accompanied him to a meeting. She’d sat in the circle and quietly listened without judgment. He had chosen to pass up on speaking, not being ready to divulge his dirty laundry until he felt a bit more comfortable with the group. The most shocking of all the changes was that she volunteered to help him move the living room around so that it would be more comfortable. She helped him place the TV over the fireplace, and move the couch to a position that allowed whoever sat in it to be able to watch television as well. She of course had to take a thirty minute nap afterward, but she had been happy to feel useful again. He didn’t know the reason for her sudden openness toward him. Perhaps it was the fact that he had offered her his friendship and nothing more. Whatever the reason, he loved the changes.
The night before her doctor’s appointment and chemo session they were both sitting on the couch watching a movie. Her head was on the arm rest and her legs were on his lap. William sat on the opposite side, his feet on the coffee table unconsciously rubbing her foot when he noticed her pull away and sit up to face him. She looked as though she was about to say something then changed her mind.
“What is it?” he asked.
“Nothing.” She placed her legs back on his lap and turned her attention back to the movie.
He shrugged and also went back to the movie.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“You’re welcome.” he answered. “For what?”
“For being here with me. For coming all the way from Sunnydale and putting up with my bitchiness and sticking around to help me.”
William smiled, excited to have broken down part of her wall. He knew how hard it was for her to thank him.
“Believe I told you I’d be here for you. We’re in this together.”
She smiled and to his utter surprise she turned herself around on the couch so her head was on his lap. Then she took his hand in hers and began fidgeting with one of his two silver rings.
“Do you not want to watch the movie pet?”
She shook her head and continued playing with his jewelry.
“You can keep watching if you want,” she told him “I don’t mind.”
“S’okay, not really interested in it.”
After a few minutes of silence he took the loose piece of her scarf and said,
“Don’t have to wear this all the time, look fine without it.”
“I feel more comfortable with it on.” She told him her hands automatically reaching to touch her head.
“I ordered a wig.”
“Wa’s that?” He tried to hide his surprise by pretending to watch the movie.
“Online, I ordered a wig.”
“That’s good. Don’t think you need it, but if it will help you feel good, I’m glad you got it.”
She smiled, satisfied with his answer. She’d been worried that he would disapprove. Why do I care what he thinks? She wondered. She just wanted to feel like her old self again and having hair, even if it was fake, would help give her the confidence she needed.
“I think you’re beautiful either way.” He looked down at her on his lap and tenderly placed his hand on her head.
“Thank you Will.”
Starting to feel aroused by her closeness and the way she was toying with his fingers, William made to get up from the couch before she could feel just how turned on she was making him.
“Well luv, time for me to turn in. Feeling a bit knackered.” he raised his arms up and faked a yawn for effect.
Buffy sat up on the couch and pouted jutting out her lower lip.
“Christ” William mumbled and stood up.
“G’night then,” He told her.
She stood up, stepped toward him, and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
“Good night Will. Don’t forget we have to leave by 9:30 tomorrow morning.”
“Won’t forget, luv.” Taking her hand in his he said, “Don’t worry. Everything will turn out fine. An’ don’t stay up too late.”
“Yes, Dad,” She answered rolling her eyes and taking a seat back on the couch.
Oh the things this woman did to him. It was taking all of his strength not to take her in his arms and kiss her until she remembered how incredible things could be between them. For now, he would go up to his room and have a good wank.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
This chapter has been slightly beta'd by Sanityfair. Any errors are mine. I couldn't wait to post and keep this story going. I hope you enjoy!
Chapter End Notes:
Are you guys still out there? My reviews have dwindled and it makes me sad :( Please review and let me know that I still have readers. My muse goes to sleep without encouragement.