Chapter 15
William awoke the next morning to the high pitched beeping of his alarm clock. Covering his head with his pillow to drown out its incessant wailing, he blindly searched for the snooze button.
“Argh! Bloody fucking technology!”
He’d done a lot of tossing and turning last night unable to stop worrying about Buffy and what the doctor’s news would be today. Now, he looked at the offending alarm clock and, saw that it was already eight forty-five.
“Bollocks!”
He rolled out of bed and placed his hand on the night table for balance, lacking the coordination to stand on his own. He rubbed his eyes and, tried to make them focus. The lack of sleep was really doing a number on him. As he hurriedly made his way to the bathroom, William took a quick glance at Buffy’s room and paused, trying to decide if he should check on her to see if she was up yet. He turned to her room and upon opening the door, saw her standing in front of her closet wearing skimpy light pink lace boy shorts that barely covered her delectable little ass and a matching camisole. He noticed that her body was much different now than the last time he had seen her wear so little. She was now much paler and thinner. Her thighs weren’t as full as they had once been, and the swell of her breasts had been reduced to almost nothing, at least what he could see from where he stood. The changes didn’t matter. Buffy still turned him on, and that fact was starting to become evident from the swelling he was beginning to feel in his boxer shorts. Realizing that he had yet to put clothes on and he was wearing very little, William decided to quietly turn around and make a quick exit before he was noticed.
“William! What are you doing here?” she squealed.
Buffy turned toward him and gave a little hop that made parts of her jiggle in a very nice way and did not help his current situation. Too late. He thought as he glanced at the door longingly then looked back at her. Buffy was now covering herself with her hands and glaring at him. He noticed her glare turn into a stare. Her eyes suddenly appeared to be filled with desire.
She took in his nicely sculpted chest and silently counted the number of squares displayed there. His skin hadn’t lost its nice tan color despite his time spent indoors with her. Her eyes traveled downward admiring the line of hair trailing from his navel down to his… Oh my, he’s excited too. She noticed and, unconsciously licked her lips.
“Buffy, I’m sorry, didn’t mean to barge in—”
William’s voice interrupted her thoughts making her jump and bringing her back to reality.
“Get out!” she yelled, pointing at the door.
He turned away needing to leave before his arousal got him into more trouble and, mumbled another apology before shutting the door behind him.
Once alone, Buffy sat down on her bed and let out a breath. That man is beautiful. She wondered what was wrong with her. It took everything she had not to jump him just then. A few years ago she would have, but now things were entirely too complicated to add lust into the mix.
“Okay, Buffy, deep breaths.” She closed her eyes and breathed in and out moving her arms up and down in rhythm with her breathing. Who says yoga doesn’t work? Out of nowhere a vision of mostly naked William seeped into her mind making her shoot up from the bed.
“I better take a cold shower.”
She threw her bathrobe on and walked out the door.
**********************************************************
“Will, I need the bathroom!” Buffy knocked incessantly at the door.
“Won’t be but a minute, love.”
He sat on the toilet, seat down, head leaned back resting on the mirror enjoying the feel and rhythm of his hand sliding up and down his cock. Seeing her in that getup and the way she looked as though she wanted to devour him and licking of her sumptuous lips had been his undoing. He rushed into the bathroom, started the shower, and began rhythmically squeezing and pumping himself in excitement.
With his eyes closed he pictured her sitting astride him, bouncing up and down. She was still wearing the little camisole, her lovely nipples hard as pebbles, showing right through the material. He took one into his mouth then the other biting just a bit and making her squeal in delight. She leaned back moaning his name. William put one hand behind her back and, the other on her cheek. She took his thumb in her mouth and sucked, making him crazed. Finally, when he couldn’t take it anymore, he moved his thumb from her mouth to her clit and, began rubbing circles. Buffy’s body tensed, and her hold on his cock tightened as she came for him whispering the words, “I love you.” making him cry out as he followed her with his own orgasm.
“William, you okay?” Buffy knocked on the door when she heard him let out a strangled cry.
William cleaned himself up quickly and, opened the door to see her standing before him, arms crossed and worrying her lower lip.
“All yours pet.” He smiled at her, indulging in the way she ran her eyes up and down his frame then walked away feeling more relaxed than he had in a while.
**********************************************************
William and Buffy rushed into the Doctor’s office just in time for her appointment.
“Miss Summers, glad to see you made it.” The receptionist looked to Buffy then William, giving them a bright smile.
She knew Buffy from various other visits she’d had with the doctor, but she had never seen the gorgeous man standing next to the petite blonde. Slipping into flirt mode, the nurse flipped her curly black hair back, fluttered her long eyelashes repeatedly, and extended her hand to him, switching her smile from bright to blinding.
“Miss Summers, who is this you’ve brought along with you?” Her question was directed at Buffy, but her large brown eyes never lost focus on William.
Buffy rolled her eyes. Some women had no shame.
“This is my friend, William. Will, this is Cecily, the receptionist.”
William took her hand and returned her smile.
“Pleasure to meet you. Tell me, what is a beautiful creature such as you doing working here? Seems to me your beauty can’t be appreciated sitting behind a desk in a little office like this.”
All Cecily could do was melt into a fit of giggles. Buffy felt a bit nauseous looking at the two and was about to say something. Then a nurse holding a notepad popped out of a side door and called her in.
“Okay if I come along, luv?” Spike asked.
“Why would you want to?” She leaned toward his ear and whispered, “Wouldn’t you rather stay here and flirt with the slutty secretary?”
Okay it was childish, she knew it, but she’d never been one to share her things. William was hers, even if only as a friend. Buffy didn’t share friends; Xander and Anya could attest to that.
“Jealous, luv?” He smirked at her.
“What do I have to be jealous of? Ask her out if you want. I don’t care.”
“Only want to go out with one girl. Should know that by now,” he whispered in her ear.
Buffy tried to hide the satisfied smile that came across her face at hearing his comment but was unable to. Instead, she turned toward the nurse, who had called her name and started to follow her in, calling out,
“Well, are you coming?”
Satisfied with her reaction, William proceeded to walk in behind Buffy. He ignored the receptionist, who was left waving after him with a look of longing in her eyes.
The nurse led the pair down a hideous yellow narrow hallway that smelled of fresh paint. There were “Wet Floor” stands along the way with white paper signs reading, “WET PAINT” hung over them. They finally reached an open doorway, and the nurse led them in then muttered a quick, “Here she is doctor,” never stopping to look up from her notes.
The office was large and held a mahogany desk that stood in front of a large window on which sat several piles of neatly stacked papers and a nameplate that read, “Dr. Rupert Giles.”
“Miss Summers, do come in. Please, sit down. ” The man behind the desk smiled and gestured at the two well-worn leather chairs in front of his desk.
His smile made Buffy feel as though he truly cared about her and saw her as more than just a patient.
Dr. Giles had salt and pepper hair, soft blue eyes, and looked to be in his early fifties. He wore silver rimmed glasses and a tweed suit with a light blue shirt. She’d been seeing him since she moved to Maine and was very happy with her choice of doctor.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t see that you brought a guest with you today,” he said when he noticed William come in after her.
“Hello, I’m Dr. Rupert Giles.” He stood and extended his hand for William to take.
William took in the doctor’s British accent and though it was a bit more refined than his own, was happy to hear from a fellow native.
“William Rayne,” he said, giving the doctor a firm handshake.
“Ah, a fellow Englishman! Nice to meet you. William, please have a seat. You too, Miss Summers.”
“Giles, cut the formalities already, will you?” Buffy told him while taking a seat. “It’s been three months. I think you can start calling me Buffy now.”
Dr. Giles chuckled at the girl’s remark. There was something about her that had endeared her to him right away. She was spunky and funny, and he could see there was some fight left in her; she simply had to search within herself to find it. That was why he recommended she go see Tara Maclay for counseling. If Tara couldn’t get through to her, no one could. The kind therapist was known for working magic and breaking through to even the toughest of patients.
“Very well then, Buffy,” he relented. “May I ask what brings Mr. Rayne along with you today?”
“William, Sir.”
Buffy couldn’t help but shoot William an odd look. She’d never heard him address someone so courteously before. Well, maybe her mother when he’d first met her.
“I’m a good friend of Buffy’s. We go way back. Don’t we, luv?” he asked, smirking and lifting his left his eyebrow.
His look made Buffy feel a tingle in her lower
extremities, forcing her to shift in her chair. This made William smirk even wider. Down girl! She silently berated herself. The truth was she hadn’t been able to stop having inappropriate thoughts about him ever since he’d walked into her room half naked this morning. Evil, evil man.
“I see,” the doctor said, interrupting the connection between the two “friends.” He removed his glasses and began polishing them with a hankie stored in the pocket of his suit.
“Giles, relax, we’re just friends,” Buffy told him reassuringly, knowing they had made him uncomfortable.
“So,” she continued, “What are we here to discuss? Am I dying sooner than we thought?”
Both men shot her a menacing look.
“What? It was a joke!”
“Buffy, my dear, I daresay that was in poor taste.” Giles looked at her with narrowed eyes.
“I’m sorry.” Buffy looked apologetically to her doctor then down at her hands in shame.
This time it was William’s turn to give her an incredulous look. He’d never seen her back down to anyone so quickly.
“Now, the reason I asked you to come in today is as I told you over the phone last night. The amount of chemotherapy we are giving you right now does not appear to be working. While the good news is, the cancer has not spread. The bad news is, it does not appear to be going away either.”
Buffy’s smile disappeared from her face, and her body slumped in the chair feeling her earlier good mood being sucked away.
“Not going away,” she echoed in an empty voice. Her eyes had gone vacant, and she looked hollow somehow.
William took her hand in his, but it lay there limply, and she didn’t seem to register his action.
“Unfortunately, no.” Giles’ looked at her with compassion, his worry making the wrinkles around his kind eyes more pronounced.
“So what can we do Rupes?” William lost all control over any semblance of respectful behavior he previously displayed. “Can you give her something else? Help her out?"
His grasp on her hand tightened as he kept his eyes on her to make sure she was okay. The news and her response to it had him feeling a bit queasy with worry.
“Yes. Yes of course there are other options we can take. This news is by no means reason to give up. Do you hear me, Buffy?” Giles, who was also very worried about his dear patient, told her reassuringly.
“There are two things we can do,” he continued, “we can increase the amount of chemotherapy you are taking now by having you come in more often as I told you over the phone or the second option, well, that is much more invasive.”
Buffy merely nodded numbly, whereas William leaned forward in his chair and asked,
“Invasive how?”
The slight tremble in his voice, and the way his left knee bounced told Giles exactly how scared this man was for Buffy and convinced him that the two were surely more than just friends.
“The other option…” Giles paused in order to remove his glasses once more, “the other option is for Buffy to have a mastectomy.”
“What! Why?” William asked, feeling that this information had come completely out of left field.
“A mastectomy is when one or both of the patient’s—“
“I know what a mastectomy is,” Buffy interrupted Giles’ explanation, coming out of her previous catatonic state.
“Would you suggest I have a double or a single?” she spoke in a controlled voice, devoid of any emotion.
“In your case Buffy, I would suggest that you have both breasts removed seeing as you have a stage three cancer and that your particular chances of the tumor spreading are high as well are your chances of recurrence due to your family history. It would be best to remove the right breast as a preventative measure. As you already know, the cancer in your left breast is pretty advanced.”
Buffy simply nodded. William sat in his chair in a state of disbelief. He felt as though he were under water, not quite able to understand what the doctor and Buffy were saying.
“Hold on a tic, will you?” he practically yelled once he was able to get a hold of his emotions.
“There’s no need to jump right to surgery is there?”
He turned to Buffy, and saw that she had hardened her eyes, and her face showed complete control. She had no time to let her feelings take over; she was all business.
“Who’s to say a little extra chemo won’t do the trick, luv? Should give that a try first, yeah?”
She knew he was swallowing back tears by the way his Adams apple moved up and down. He was trying to stay strong, but she noticed that his eyes were stormy and almost grey. She knew she had put him in this position of suffering. His pain was her fault.
Making her mind up, she smiled at him and squeezed his hand.
“You’re right, Will. There’s no need to go to extremes.”
She turned to Giles and said,
“So do we start the stronger chemo sessions today?”
William let out a sigh of relief. He knew she couldn’t have been serious about undergoing such a complicated surgery. It made more sense for her to try something like a stronger chemotherapy regimen before taking a leap such as surgery.
After they all discussed what day of the week would be best for Buffy to have her treatments and went over the side effects once more, they stood at the door and said their goodbyes.
“It was good to meet you William,” Giles said, shaking his hand. “I’m happy to see that Buffy has someone to help her. She was having a hard time on her own but as you probably know, was too stubborn to admit it.”
“Hey, I’m right here you know!” Buffy pouted, standing next to William in the doorway.
“I know my dear.” Giles smiled kindly, his eyes full of warmth. “Take care of yourself. I don’t want you overdoing it.”
He leaned in and gave her a hug taking advantage of his position to whisper,
“Don’t give up. You’ll be just fine. Give the gentleman a chance because it’s obvious how much he cares about you.”
Buffy smiled at him as she pulled away.
“Yes, Dad.” Sarcasm drenched her words, making Giles beam with pride. He knew that in spite of her tone, there was truth to her remark. Sometimes he wished she were indeed his daughter.
“Ta, Rupes. It was nice to meet you.” William waved as he and Buffy made their way out the door.
“Well luv, it’s off to the chemo chair.”
Taking her hand in his, he guided her toward that section of the hospital.
Just as Buffy was getting settled into the leather recliner and the nurse was inserting her IV, William’s cell phone rang. Looking at the caller ID he saw that it was Xander, and because he was worried about him since the odd way he’d acted over the phone the last time they spoke, he decided he needed to take the call.
“Have to take this call pet, be back in a mo’.”
He walked into a hallway so that she wouldn’t know whom he was speaking to. He didn’t want to upset her any more that she already was.
“’Lo, Xander,” he greeted his friend.
“Will, hey, how are you?”
“Bit busy here, mate. Can’t talk long, everything alright?”
“Well, Anya and I are in a bit of a predicament,” Xander explained.
“Xander! Xander is in a predicament. I had nothing to do with this!” William heard Anya yelling in the background.
“Anya!” Xander yelled back, “Just let me do this!”
William couldn’t help but laugh at the bickering couple. Some things never changed. He looked over behind him and saw that Buffy was sitting by herself, a magazine in hand, staring into space.
“Just bloody well tell me what you need,” he growled, letting his worry for her rid him of his patience.
“There’s no way to sugar coat this, so I’ll just say it—“ Xander started to say but Anya grabbed the phone from him.
“We’re in Camden!” Anya yelled excitedly into the phone.
“WHAT?” William screamed.
Several nurses looked in his direction, but when he shot Buffy a quick look he saw she hadn’t even noticed his outburst and was now lying back on the chair with her eyes closed.
“Actually, we’re in Maine. We haven’t gotten to Camden yet, and that’s why we called. What’s Buffy’s address?” Anya continued ignoring William’s apparent frustration as she usually did with people’s feelings when excited about something.
“Listen here ANYANKA, either you are completely dense, or you’ve gone barmy! Didn’ I say for you an’ Xander not to interfere with Buffy’s life?”
“My name is NOT Anyanka, SPIKE. You know that!” she screamed into the phone.
No one called her that. She’d given that name up long ago, even had it legally changed to Anya as soon as she turned eighteen. It was the ugliest name two parents could pick for their child, and NO one was allowed to use it.
Sensing the anger building between the two friends, Xander grabbed the phone away from his girlfriend.
“Let’s all calm down here, William. I know you can’t be happy about us showing up, but I couldn’t sit home not knowing what was happening. I had to come and see Buffy for myself.”
“Fine,” William growled, “Nothing I can do ‘bout you bein’ here now. Got a pen an’ paper?”
William gave Xander Buffy’s address and quickly asked Xander to apologize to Anya for his outburst.
“’M under a lot of stress here, mate. Tell her I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings.”
“She’s already over it, Will,” Xander tried to soothe his friend.
“It wouldn’t kill you to apologize with chocolates!” he heard her yell in the background before hanging up.
“Bloody pain in my arse,” he mumbled to himself once he was sure the call had disconnected.
He took a deep breath to calm himself down before walking back and taking a seat in the chair next to Buffy’s.
“Everything all right?” she asked.
He smiled to reassure her.
“Yeah, luv. Was just a little misunderstanding back home. Nothing I couldn’t handle.”
Buffy smiled back at him and went back to her previous position, lying back with her eyes closed.
William sensed how her mood had suddenly changed from one of assertiveness to her now quiet and introverted one. He worried about her. She was processing a lot of information and he didn’t want her to retreat into herself as she usually did.
The chemo session went by quietly, and he felt as if time had never moved more slowly in his entire life. Her eyes remained closed the entire time. Afraid to interrupt her thoughts, William silently read magazines like Cosmopolitan and learned things such as “How to get glowing skin through multiple orgasms.”
The drive home was quiet, much like the last time. The chemo had left her exhausted, and she fell asleep as soon as she sat in the car. William thought about her and what she must be going through and he promised himself that he would be there for her this time. He thought back to the way he had behaved the last time she needed him. When her mother died, he should have been there for her. He should have been strong and held her hand. Instead, because he had been reminded of his own mother’s death and the pain he’d been through back then, he’d spent the entire week after Joyce’s death in a drunken stupor, especially the day of her funeral. He thought and shuddered at the memory. Buffy had moved back into her mother’s house by that time, partly because she had wanted to help Joyce out during her last days but mostly he imagined because she couldn’t handle his heavy drinking and the way they had been avoiding of each other. They had barely spoken to each other since she’d moved out, though they hadn’t officially broken up and communication had altogether stopped, she had called him to tell him of Joyce’s death.
When Spike was sober, he felt horrible guilt about not being there to support his girl. Then he would remember how she had shut him out and had decided to deal with her pain on her own. He would realize that he wasn’t needed, so he would go back to drinking and numbing the pain. He hadn’t even shown up to the funeral. What a complete ass he’d been. It was no wonder she shut him out of her life for such a long time. No one really understood that part, not Xander and definitely not Anya. They only saw that he had made a mistake and worked his ass off to make up for it. They didn’t see that he had betrayed her, just like her father had. He hadn’t blamed her for the way she behaved toward him since then.
Things would be different now. He’d made up his mind. She had let him in and he wasn’t going to run away. He would stand by her and not let her give up.
Buffy was still asleep when they arrived at the house.
“Buffy, we’re here, pet,” he whispered to her while placing his hand on her cheek.
“Mmm, don’t wanna go to school,” she mumbled.
William let out a loud chuckle that startled her awake.
“What?” she asked. Then her eyes widened in shock. “Did I say something out loud?”
“Just some nonsense about school.” When he noticed the look of relief on her face he asked,
“Why? Were you having naughty dreams about me?”
Buffy gave him a deer in headlights look then quickly recovered and answered,
“No! Of course not. Why would you think that?”
William only smirked in response.
“No, reason. Just teasing.”
Buffy suddenly looked sick, and his playful attitude quickly changed to one of concern,
“You okay?”
She shook her head.
“I don’t think the nausea medicine they gave me worked.” She laid her head back against her seat.
“I just need a few minutes before I can move.”
“Okay, take your time luv. Can sit here all day if you want.”
She smiled at him but didn’t move an inch, afraid that if she did, she would spill all the contents in her stomach on him.
After about ten minutes, Buffy was able to overcome her nausea and turned toward him.
“Okay, I’m ready to move.”
“You sure?” he asked, the worry still evident in his face.
She nodded stiffly at him knowing that if she made any sudden movements the nausea would come back.
“Okay, hold on let me get your door.”
Stepping out of the car, he went around and opened the door for her. He took her arm and helped her out, allowing her to put her weight on him. They walked slowly up the walkway, and he carefully walked her in the door once he had unlocked it.
“Can you make it up to your room or would you rather lie on the couch?” he asked her.
“My room. Bed’s comfier,” she said.
“Hang on then.”
To her complete surprise, William picked her up and cradled her like a baby walking up the stairs and gently placed her on her bed.
“You need anything, luv? A change of clothes?”
She smiled at him.
“I think I can handle changing my own clothes, Will.”
He smiled back.
“Just tryin’ to be thorough.”
“Uh huh, I’m sure that’s what it is.” She smiled and rolled her eyes weakly.
William glanced at the clock on her dresser, “Didn’t realize it was so late already. Will you be okay if I step out and get us some dinner? Didn’t get the chance to cook anything.”
She shook her head. “I’m not hungry.”
“You will be,” he assured her. “Best be ready for when the hunger strikes.”
“Okay.”
“Won’t be long.” He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead.
“Try not to get sick while I’m gone, an’ keep you mobile near you just in case.”
“Yes sir!” she brought her hand up to her forehead in mock salute.
“Don’t be cheeky.” His voice sounded gruff, but he was smiling tenderly.
She smiled in response.
Feeling more hopeful than he had in a long time, William walked out of the room and out the front door in search of food for his girl.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks so much for your reviews! I'm really feeling the love :) Thanks as always to SanityFair for all of her help especially with this chapter.
Chapter End Notes:
So.... do you like? Please Review and let me know. I'm having a case of writer's block and I need some motivation. Is there anything you'd like to see happen? Tell me your thoughts, maybe they'll help my muse with ideas.