Chapter 23
Buffy found herself struggling to remove the silly “smitten girl” smile off her face as she sat on the
couch in Tara’s office. Thoughts of William’s kisses and how wonderful they felt filled her mind. They hadn’t done
much this morning; her libido was really taking a hitfrom the chemo. She was always too tired to do anything but cuddle. William understood that though, and he was happy with holding her and giving her soft, gentle kisses.There was no way she was going to be able to stop
smiling, that was for sure.
“How are you today, Buffy?” Tara’s voice interrupted her
thoughts. The therapist couldn’t help noticing her
patient’s positive demeanor and the dreamy look on her face.
She sat on the couch across from her, her shoulders relaxed, one arm thrown over the arm rest while the other remained on her lap. This was not the same girl who had sat in the very same spot last week, shoulders tight with tension and wringing her hands in stress. Something had changed.
“I’m good.”
“That’s good to hear. So tell me about your week. What’s happened since the last time we met?”
“My tumor shrank.” Buffy was so excited to share her news that she practically bounced on the couch.
“That’s wonderful! So what’s the next step?” Tara found Buffy’s giddiness contagious, and noticed that she too had a huge smile on her face and felt a bit of a bounce.
“I’m having a lumpectomy.”
“Are you okay with that?” Tara suddenly turned serious. She was worried that her patient had finally gone off the deep end. Perhaps not being able to handle the stress of the situation had her acting as if nothing were wrong at all.
“Yes, yes I am. Absolutely.” Buffy nodded her head firmly to show she was convinced she was okay with her decision.
“Would you like to talk about it? I noticed that you are much happier today than you have been in our past sessions. Why do you think that is?”
“I don’t know. I guess it’s because this nightmare is coming to an end, and I’m looking forward to what comes next.”
Tara smiled; she had a suspicion that she was referring to William. “Like what? What plans do you have for your future, now that you are able to see that you have one?”
“Well,” Buffy twirled her bandana strings around her fingers in a playful way. “Anya and I made up, or rather we understand each other now, and Xander and I made up too. William and I have definitely resolved some issues, which have all been very exciting.”
“So would you say everything is perfect? “
“No!” Buffy shook her head vigorously, “I would never say that. I’m not trying to jinx myself. I would say though, that things are pretty great.”
“That’s excellent to hear! So when’s your surgery?”
“Next Tuesday, I have to be there for nine a.m. You know, now that I think about it, I am a little nervous.” Buffy felt this was the safest place for her to admit her feelings.
“That’s understandable. What are you nervous about?” Tara crossed one leg over the other and leaned forward.
“That everything is going too well,” Buffy answered. “I mean, I have this feeling at the pit of my stomach like, when’s the other shoe going to drop. You know?”
“There’s nothing wrong with how you are feeling. You’re going through something pretty terrible. It’s normal to be nervous about it finally coming to an end.” Tara leaned over her desk and took a sip of her water bottle as she allowed some time for her words to sink in.
“I’m trying to be brave for Will,” She let out a laugh, “You should have seen his face when Giles told us about all of the risks. I thought he was going to pass out.”
“I see what you are doing, but don’t you think you should be able to let down your guard around him? He came here to help you. You should be able to let him know how you feel.”
Buffy let out a sigh. “He’s been my rock. I think I should return the favor.”
“Do you love him?” Tara had her suspicions, but Buffy’s need to be as supportive of him as he was of her proved it. Buffy was in love, that’s what had caused her complete one eighty in personality.
“What? No, I do care about him, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say that it’s love.” Buffy’s eyes widened and her cheeks turned red as she looked everywhere but at Tara.
Tara understood that she wasn’t ready to let go of her emotions. She still needed those training wheels around her heart, so she let it go. The therapist had crossed a line and asked her girlfriend, Willow to tell her a little bit about Buffy. Willow hadn’t known her all that well in high school, but she had observed that she had a small group of friends and that the circle seemed to get even smaller after she had graduated. The redhead had guessed that Buffy didn’t like to let anyone too close.
“Well, whatever it is you feel for him, it’s done you a lot of good, Buffy. You look great!”
Buffy smiled and patted the scarf on her head. “Really? Even with this silly thing on?”
“Yes, especially with it on. The color’s great on you. It brings out your eyes.”
“Thanks, Tara!”
Tara smiled. “You’re welcome. Our time’s up for today. I really wish you the best of luck on your surgery.”
Tara stood up and walked toward the door opening it in order to usher Buffy out. Walking over to her, Buffy surprised her with a hug.
“Thank you so much, Tara. You’ve been a great help during all of this.”
Tara felt her eyes moisten; she was in shock over the display of affection but hugged her back anyway.
“Remember what I said. Talk to him. Let him know what you’re feeling.”
Buffy pulled away from her and nodded. Then with a wave of her hand, she was out the door. Tara knew that what she was about to do was against the rules, but she had to tell someone about this anomaly. Sitting back at her desk, she picked up her phone and dialed.
“Hello? Willow, you’re not going to believe what just happened…”
*******************************************************
William found himself spending the day with Anya and Xander since Buffy had left to her weekly appointment with Tara. The three had gone out to lunch and taken a walk by the harbor, now they lounged on the couch while attempting to watch a movie.
“Get your stinky feet out of my face, Anyanka.” William slapped her feet away causing her to lay them on his lap instead.
“Keep calling me that, and I’ll put something worse in your face.”
“Um, that didn’t sound good, babe.” Xander said from where he sat on the other side of the couch with Anya’s head on his lap, “It just sounds too sexual for my comfort level.”
“Eww. You know I have no interest in Will like that, Xand.” Anya looked up at her fiancé and pouted. “Just let me get comfortable. You guys made me walk for hours.”
“We only walked for forty-five minutes. Stop annoying me you crazy bint!” William grabbed a magazine from the coffee table and began batting at Anya’s feet with it.
“Stop it, Will!” Anya shrieked.
“There’s a whole couch right over there!” William was having more fun bothering his friend than he let on. This was a good distraction from all of the worries that had been running around his head.
“Yes, but if I sit over there then I won’t be able to cuddle with Xander. Why don’t you go sit there and leave us alone?” Anya was still kicking her legs in an attempt to thwart the magazine slaps directed at her.
William huffed but stood up and sat on the other couch. “Insufferable, maddening woman,” he mumbled under his breath.
“What’s going on here? Why is William sulking on the couch? Who pissed him off?” Buffy walked in the door and took in the scene in her living room. It was comical; Xander and Anya were cuddling on one couch while William sat on the other, his arms crossed and aiming a death stare at them.
She never thought when she rented the summer house that it would be filled with her friends.
“Finally, a sane person in the house. Come ‘ere, love, defend your man’s honor.”
Buffy laughed as she walked over to William slapping Anya’s feet as she sat next to him. “Stop bothering my man, Anya.”
“Hey!” Anya yelled but could only laugh at the expression of pride displayed on William’s face.
“What are we watching?” Buffy asked, making herself comfortable in William’s arms.
“I Know What You did Last Summer.” Buffy laughed at the way they chorused the name of the movie.
“Eww, cheesy.”
“Anya picked it!” William pointed his finger at the blonde woman who made her best attempt at looking innocent from where she lay on the couch.
“Whatever,” Buffy pushed William’s arm down and leaned her head into it. “I’m too tired to follow a plot now anyway. This will do.”
William gave her a worried look. “You okay, love? Everything go well with the shrink?”
Buffy smiled and gave him a kiss. “Yes, everything is fine. It’s just been a long day. Thanks for worrying about me though.”
“I’ll always worry about you. It’s my job.” William kissed the top of her head, and she felt like she would burst with joy.
********************************************************
Later, after the movie, they lay in bed together. Buffy’s head rested on his shoulder, she never felt safer than when he let her lie like this with his arm wrapped around her.
“William?”
“Yeah, pet?” He was starting to fall asleep but came to attention when she called his name.
“I’m nervous.” Her voice was barely above a whisper she was finding it difficult to admit her feelings to him.
“’Bout what?” William found himself having some trouble following the conversation. Had she been talking to him all along and he’d only just now realized?
“The lumpectomy.” She sensed his confusion and regretted having brought it up. He probably wanted to fall asleep.”
“Got nothing to worry about pet, said so yourself, easy surgery.” His words said one thing while his eyes told her how worried he really was.
“You’re right.” It would be best to keep her worried to herself. There was no need to give him more reason to worry. “Everything will be fine. This will be over soon and we’ll be able to get on with our lives.”
He locked eyes with her. “You mean that?”
“Mean what?”
“We gonna get on with the rest of our lives after this is over? Together?” He looked into her eyes as he asked, his head tilted to the right as if he had reason to doubt her.
Placing her hand on his cheek she said, “Of course I mean it. I want to be with you as long as you’ll have me.”
“Forever then.” He made the decision for the both of them.
She nodded but wasn’t able to answer. She was so full of emotion. His lips slowly descended on hers for a light feathery kiss.
“I love you.”
Again she nodded, returning his kiss but with more vigor, prodding his lips open with her tongue and exploring the depths of his mouth. She didn’t know what was up with her but the chemotherapy was definitely not killing her mood tonight. Her hands ran up and down the lines of his back as she moaned softly, hoping he would understand that she needed him now. She needed him to reassure her that everything would be okay.
He pulled away from her, leaning his forehead against hers. “You sure?”
Buffy nodded and pulled him back into her mouth. William’s lips left hers and she let out a small whimper at the loss but suddenly felt his lips on her neck, as his hands gently removed her top.
“Bloody gorgeous,” he let out once her breasts were free.
His mouth latched onto her right nipple and began alternating between suckling and nipping, causing her to writhe beneath him. “Christ, woman you’re so responsive.”
Buffy smiled widely at him. “Mm Hmm.”
With a growl he let his hand move from her breast down between her legs and into her folds where she was ready for him.
“Ahh,” She was taken aback by the suddenness of his move but took him in welcomingly.
“You’re so wet for me, love.”
“Uh huh,” Unable to form thoughts, much less words, Buffy hoped he could understand the noises coming out of her were of sheer pleasure.
William’s mouth stayed on her nipple as his fingers worked her to the point of breaking. Wait, fingers? How many… oh! She let out a pleasured scream when she felt one of his well-saturated fingers slide into her back entrance.
“Shh, shh, love. There are guests in the house,” he whispered with a malicious grin.
“Will, I…” She was ready, her body arched up toward him and he felt her tense up and begin to tremble.
“Uh uh, pet, not done with you yet.”
She wanted to cry when she felt him withdraw but let out a squeal as he fell to the floor and got down on his knees pulling her body toward him. Her almost tears became gasps when she felt his tongue on her clit and his fingers massaging her from inside. Once again she felt her body escalating higher and higher until her vision became cloudy, and she was sure that her body was floating off the bed.
“Will...”
She was going to let him know that she was about to explode, but he didn’t give her the chance because she was suddenly accosted by the pressure of his finger coming in from behind her and all at once let go of all of her inhibitions. She felt her body tense up, and heard her cry of release as she melted into a puddle of goo on the bed. She was left panting, struggling for breath as he crawled above her, a huge satisfied grin on his face. She lifted her arms and wrapped herself around him not wanting to ever let go.
“You okay, pet. Am I squishing you?”
She shook her head. “Stay right here with me, please? Don’t go.”
He knew her words weren’t meant literally. She was giving him an answer to his earlier statement. He had no plans on ever leaving her. She needn’t worry about that.
“William?” Her whispered words in his ear made him stand erect, and she smiled at his reaction to her.
“Yeah, love, what is it?”
“I want more.” She whispered it, almost embarrassed to ask.
William laughed. She had never been this shy about her needs before and even though he knew it was the disease that had made her feel less confident, he couldn’t help how cute he found her shyness. She slapped his shoulder.
“Don’t laugh.”
“Can’t help it, pet. You’re just so cute.”
“William….” She was ready to argue when he placed his finger on her lips.
“‘S’ okay, I’ll give you anything you want an’ more.” He gently slid into her to prove his point, treasuring the soft sigh she let out. “So hot, perfect.”
“Yes,” she hissed in agreement, “perfect fit.”
William buried his head in her neck, enjoying the way she ran a hand through his hair while the other ran up and down the space of his back.
“I love you, Buffy, so much,” he whispered in her ear, “I’m so sorry. Every day I regret hurting you, thank you, love. Thank you for giving me this, for letting me back in.”
“Shh, Will. I’m so happy.” She felt his tears on her neck, heard the remorse in his voice. “I’m sorry too.”
His thrusts were slow and languid, making her body shiver with need. She’d feel herself climb to the point of climax, and then he would slow down even more, and her orgasm would ebb away. Just as she thought she’d scream if he didn’t allow her release, he lifted his head, so he could look into her eyes and thrust into her core. He sped up, grabbing her legs and wrapping them around him.
“Yes! That’s it, please.”
“What is it baby? What do you need?” He placed his forehead against hers, smiling knowingly. A twinkle in his eye.
She opened her mouth but couldn’t speak. He knew what she needed, and he’d given it to her so many times before. Before she could protest again his hand flew down between her legs and his fingers pinched the spot she needed touched. Buffy’s body tensed up, her inner muscles clamping down on him and she let out a scream he’d never heard from her before. The combination of her scream, the way she clamped down on him and the feel of her nails scratching the skin on his back made him follow her right into oblivion.
When she finally came to, she felt his head on her shoulder once again. Both heaved in and out searching for the breath they’d lost mid orgasm.
“That was—“
“Unbelievable,” she finished for him.
“Are you okay? Was it too much?” His concern warmed her heart.
“It was just enough. I’m fine. Elated even.”
“Buffy, I want you to know, if on Tuesday—“
“Don’t William. Nothing’s going to go wrong. Everything will be perfect, just like now.”
He nodded in agreement. There was no need to be scared because this was a simple procedure. She would come out of this fine and finally be done with this nightmare, and then they could finally continue with the rest of their lives together.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to Sanityfair for her splendiferous beta skills! You are awesome! I would also like to thanks all of you for reviewing. It's great to know people are reading this fic and liking it. Thanks for your support.
A little bit of Anya/Xander/Spike fluff in this chapter just for fun.
A little bit of Anya/Xander/Spike fluff in this chapter just for fun.
Chapter End Notes:
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