Chapter 24
Tuesday morning found her lying in a hospital bed with her friends surrounding her. William stood on her right side, her hand held firmly in his while Xander and Anya were on her left.
“Okay, this hospital gown, not the least bit flattering.” Buffy made a face as she fingered the hem in the arm of the garment.
“Aw come on, Buff, it brings out your eyes.” Xander played along with her attempt at joking, trying to get rid of the nervous vibe that filled the room.
“That an’ it makes you look hot.” William placed his hand over the blanket covering her legs, winked and gave her his best leer.
“You’d think I looked hot in a potato sack.” She laughed and rolled her eyes at his antics.
“Just tryin’ to get a smile out of you.” His eyes met hers, and her heart skipped when she saw the wrinkles that his full on smile brought to them.
“Good morning, Buffy…and friends.” Giles walked into the room wearing his white coat. He was slightly taken aback, not having expected the group of people he’d walked in on.
“Giles, hi. These are my friends, Xander, Anya, and you know William.” The smile that appeared on her face was enough to make the doctor jump for joy.
“Yes, hello, William.” He shook hands with the fellow Brit and then continued on to shake hands with the other two. “How are you feeling, Buffy, ready to go?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be.” She felt William squeeze her hand and smiled reassuringly as she looked at him.
“All right, then I’m afraid this is where you tell your friends you’ll see them later. I have to take you into the operating room now.”
“Can’t William walk with us?” Buffy gave her doctor her patented pout, knowing he wouldn’t be able to deny her.
Giles removed his glasses and wiped them with his handkerchief. Letting out a sigh he said, “I suppose so.”
Buffy smiled brilliantly at him. “Thanks, Giles.”
Xander took the opportunity to plant a kiss on her forehead. “All right Buffster, we’ll see you in a bit. I’d wish you good luck, but you don’t need it. You’ve already kicked this things ass.”
“Thanks, Xand. See you later. You’ll be here right?”
“Of course! We’re not going anywhere until you come out.”
Noticing the slight shake in his voice, Anya took Xander’s hand.
“You’ll do great, Buffy.”
“Okay, let’s get a move on.” Giles wanted the goodbyes to be as unemotional as possible. He didn’t want his favorite patient to feel melancholic before her surgery.
Buffy nodded and allowed two orderlies to help her onto a gurney and begin to wheel her toward the OR as William walked next to her, his hand still held firmly in hers. When they arrived, Giles looked to William to let him know it was time to let her go.
“Can I have a minute?” he asked, giving Giles a pleading look.
Giles nodded and stepped away, as did the orderlies. William looked down at Buffy, a smile on his face. She could tell his smile was forced from the way his eyes twinkled with unshed tears.
“Hey,” she tightened her grip on his hand, “everything’s going to be fine. Don’t worry.”
“I’m not, I won’t. I love you, Buffy. I’ll be waiting for your right here when you’re done.”
He bent down and kissed her just as Giles walked back toward them.
“Let’s get started shall we?” Buffy nodded, and he pushed her through the OR doors leaving William to stare after them.
He stood there for a moment before pulling himself together and walking to meet his friends in the waiting room. When he got there, he was surprised to see a brunette woman sitting alongside a redhead both of whom were talking to Xander. Once his friend spotted him, he stood up and approached him. “Will, how’d it go? How was she? Nervous?”
“She seemed fine. I think she was making jokes to cover up how nervous she really feels.”
“That’s Buffy.” Xander noticed the way William looked at the two girls sitting behind him and motioned for them to come over. The brunette came to stand next to him while the redhead stood behind her. “Will, this is Tara, she’s Buffy’s counselor.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” She extended her hand for him to take. “Xander tells me you’ve been taking care of Buffy. That’s really great of you.”
“I’ve heard a lot of good things about you, pet.” William took her hand and shook it firmly. It was true, Buffy had complained about the therapist at first, but lately she only spoke about how good it felt to open up to someone about the things that were bothering her without being judged.
“I don’t normally go so far as to visit a patient in the hospital, but with Buffy, well I feel a kind of bond between us. Also, my girlfriend Willow knew her in high school, so I feel like I know her too.” Looking behind her she realized that she hadn’t introduced her yet. “I’m sorry, William, this is my girlfriend, Willow. She went to high school with Xander and Buffy.”
“I didn’t really hang out with them, though,” Willow added as she peeked her head around Tara to look at him.
“Willow, I think I might have seen you around when Buffy and I started dating. It’s good to meet you.”
Willow only smiled.
“Willow here’s a lesbian. She and Tara both are. Together.” William shook his head at Xander, who was not doing a good job at covering up his awkwardness about the couple.
Tara and Willow didn’t seem offended. They only looked at Xander and smiled.
“Why don’t Willow and I get us all coffees? We’re going to be here a while.” Tara smiled and taking Willow’s hand walked away without waiting for an answer.
“They’re sweet,” Xander said as he watched them walk away.
“And gay. That’s actually great news because I know for a fact that Xander had a crush on the one with red hair. Now, I don’t have to worry about him eyeing her and can concentrate on worrying about Buffy.” Anya appeared next to Xander seemingly out of thin air.
“You don’t have to worry about Buffy, Ahn. Everything is going to be fine. Now, come on, let’s sit down and play some cards while we wait.” Xander pulled a deck of cards out of his inside pocket and grinned at his two friends. “What? There’s nothing wrong with coming prepared.”
**************************************************
William paced the length of the waiting room repeatedly. “What could be taking so long? It’s been four bloody hours!”
Tara made her way over to him and placed her hand on his arm in an attempt to soothe him. “Sometimes these things just take longer than expected. It doesn’t mean something is wrong.”
William smiled and placed his hands over hers. “Ta, love”
He’d only been around the kind woman for the time Buffy had been in surgery, but already he’d developed a connection with her. She was special. Something about her demeanor told him she was smart, honest and gentle. It didn’t hurt that she’d been Buffy’s soundboard all this time. Xander looked on at the two and wished his nerves could be so easily calmed. The doctor had said this was a two hour procedure, three hours tops. So what was going on? He silently prayed for his best friend’s well-being all the while trying to force his stomach back down from his throat.
Another hour ticked by, and by now there was not calming William. His pacing took on a manic quality as he mumbled to himself periodically stopping to wave his hands out in anger. Both Xander and Tara had tried speaking to him, only to be barked at in anger. They eventually decided to sit in their respective corners watching him slowly unravel. Xander sent a silent prayer out to the universe for both of his closest friends. He couldn’t stand watching William like this. With each passing minute he became more wary that the recovering alcoholic would soon reach his breaking point. If that happened, there would be no one there for Buffy when she finally came out of this, at least not anyone she would really want. At long last, William stopped his pacing when he saw a doctor, who was not Giles, approaching.
“Hello. I’m looking for William Rayne.” The doctor stopped in front of the group, eyeing each one, waiting to see who would be the one to address him.
“That’s me.” William stepped forward. “I’m William. Is something the matter?”
Ignoring the question, the doctor extended his hand for William to take. “My name is Ben Wilkinson. I am an intern here, and I’ve been working with Doctor Giles on Ms. Summer’s surgery.”
“Not a doctor then.” William realized out loud that his assumption had been wrong. “Where’s Giles then?”
“Dr. Giles is with the patient, I mean, Ms. Summers.” The young man corrected himself while trying to remember to make each case personal for the family’s benefit.
William practically growled his frustration at the inexperienced kid. That’s what he was, nothing but an eager faced boy dying for some live action. He took in the kid’s chin length shaggy brown hair and his hipster sneakers, and almost punched the wall in anger. How dare Giles send this doe eyed inexperienced child to give news he himself should have delivered.
“I’m sorry to inform you, that Ms. Summers is having some difficulty breathing on her own. It seems she’s had a reaction to the anesthesia, and we’ve had to intubate her.”
William could only stare. The boy’s words came in slow motion, each one hitting him like a punch in the gut. “Not breathing?” He felt a hand on his shoulder but didn’t bother to look at whose it might belong to.
“I’m afraid she’s still unconscious, but the good news is that we were able to successfully remove all of the tumor as well as the lymph nodes.” Ben smiled proudly. This was the first surgery he’d assisted in since he had started interning at the hospital.
“The good news…” William felt as though he was on auto pilot. Despite the fact that he was responding and his head was nodding, his mind was elsewhere. The words being spoken to him were going in, but it was taking him a while to decipher their meaning.
“I don’t understand. What does that mean?” William turned to see who had spoken and realized that it had been Anya. She had been the one to lay a reassuring hand on his shoulder earlier.
“Is this temporary?” He was thankful that someone was able to grasp the situation because he was still unable to understand it.
“I’m sorry ma’am, it’s hard to tell. At this point all we can do is hope for the best.” The boy looked at her with pity in his eyes. This wasn’t easy for him, it was his fist time delivering this type of news.
“Hope for the best?” William seemed to finally catch up to everything that was going on as he came out of his stupor. Grabbing the young doctor by the throat and pushing him against the wall, he growled,
“Listen here, little boy, I want you to march your inexperienced arse right back to wherever it is old Rupes is hiding, and tell him to find his ball sack, man up, and come out here to talk to me himself!”
“Will, stop! You’re hurting him.” Anya fought to remove his hands from the doctor’s neck, but didn’t have the strength. “Xander, do something!”
Xander reluctantly walked over to William from where he had been enjoying the scene and put his hands over his. “Stop, Will. This isn’t going to solve anything.”
William released his grip on the boy’s neck, and watched with a smirk as the doctor coughed and tried to catch his breath.
“You’d better go get Doctor Giles. I think that would be in your best interest.”
Doctor Wilkinson practically ran to find Giles all the while promising himself never to deliver bad news to a patient’s family by himself again.
Now that they were alone again, Xander turned to look at William. “You have to calm down. We don’t know the full story yet. Just wait and see what Giles says.”
William ran a hand through his hair and let out a breath. “Think I need some air. Need to process things, got too much going on in my head. Could you tell Giles I’ll be back in a bit?”
Xander only nodded, not wanting to upset his friend any further. William returned his nod and walked away.
“Is he going to be okay?” The shy red haired woman, who’d been watching the events in silence, finally voiced her concern.
“Yeah Willow, I think so. He just needs to let out some steam. William doesn’t handle stress very well.” Xander tried to muster up a reassuring smile but could only get by with a grimace. He felt Anya take his hand in hers and place the other one on his shoulder.
“He’ll be fine.” She smiled brightly at him and this time he was able to smile in return.
“Thanks, Ahn, I don’t know what I’d be doing right now without you here with me.”
*********************************************************
Outside, William lit a cigarette and paced the perimeter of the Ambulance parking lot. He was falling apart. What had happened? How could a surgery that had seemed so simple possibly go so wrong? A reaction to the anesthesia? Why didn’t they verify her allergies? This had to be temporary. He couldn’t bear losing her again. He dug inside his jacket pocket only to find that he was out of cigarettes.
“Shit!” In his anger he punched the brick wall. “Fuck!” He held his hand and realized that he had cut his knuckles. “At least it’s not broken.” He laughed when he realized the irony of having done this to himself in a hospital. Ignoring his bloody knuckles, he decided to walk to his car and go buy some cigarettes.
He couldn’t keep his thoughts from going to the darkest of places as he drove around town. He pictured Giles giving him the worst news possible, saw himself saying goodbye to the only woman he had ever truly loved as she lay unconscious in bed. He wasn’t surprised to find himself finally stopped in front of a bar. He didn’t think twice, only got out of the car and walked in. It was dark, the only lighting coming from the small lamps hanging over the bar and the few table scattered about. There weren’t many people in tonight. A young brunette woman with scarlet lips sat across the table from an older looking man. She wore a black leather corset and leant over the table to flaunt her cleavage at him. She eyed William and shot him a smile as he walked by her, but he only had eyes for the bartender. The brunette standing behind the bar smiled at him as soon as he sat down.
“What can I get you?” She had a southern drawl which combined with her sweet smile made him feel comfortable right away.
Her hair was long and loose but he could see that she had a long and graceful neck. She wore little make-up but she didn’t need it. She looked young and innocent in spite of the extra button she had left undone and the way her long, lean legs stood out under her short denim skirt. Something about her screamed that she didn’t belong there, maybe it was the inexperience reflected in her big brown eyes.
“Not sure yet,” he answered, “maybe in a few minutes.”
“Okeydokey. Just give me a holler when you’re ready. My name’s Fred.”
“What sorta name’s that for a bird as pretty as you?”
She giggled. “It’s short for Winifred. You’re not from around here are you?”
“Lived in California a good while, but am originally from England.” He found her giggle endearing.
“Are you here on vacation? California’s a long way from Maine.”
“Could say that, yeah.”
“Sounds nice. Well, let me know what you decide on. For a drink I mean.”
She turned to tend to some old timer who’d just walked in but William stopped her.
“On second thought, could you give me a Jack Daniel’s straight up, love?”
Fred smiled at him. “Sure.” She served him the drink and placed it in front of him, leaving to tend to her other customer.
William picked up the whiskey and tipped the glass, observing the way the bar light shone on the amber liquid. This was just what he needed. All he wanted to do was to forget all the shit that had just happened, was still happening at the hospital. A few drinks and he’d be just where he wanted to be, blissfully numb to all the pain that was trying to crawl into his heart. Just a few drinks and it would be as if nothing had ever happened. William lifted his glass up to eye level and looked at it. One drink and it will all go away…
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Author's Chapter Notes:
I posted this before it had been completely beta'd. Any and all mistakes are mine.
Chapter End Notes:
Well? Thoughts? Was is awful? Did you like it? Let me know! Thanks so much for sticking with it.