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“ ‘s open,” Spike’s familiar voice came through the door. Buffy took a deep breath and pushed it open. She smiled when she saw Spike studying his computer screen intently. Taking advantage of the fact that his attention wasn’t on her, she scanned his office. She hadn’t set foot in it since his return although she had been there quite frequently before. She had often wondered if he had set it up the same. But instead of seeing the expected display of his conquests and hockey achievements lining the shelves of books and walls, she saw nothing. The two bookcases on the far wall were still filled to near overflowing with books, but gone were the trophies, banners and pinups that had often graced his walls and shelves. His desk was unusually clean, a small stack of file folders in the corner, and a lone picture sat near his computer monitor. She couldn’t see who was in the picture and it intrigued her. Who would he have a picture of? She shrugged and moved further into the room.
Spike looked up in surprise and quickly stood when he saw her. “Buffy.” He mentally slapped himself for how his voice caught when he said her name. “Uh--hi.” He said his voice going back to its usual gruffness.
“Hey,” Buffy replied softly, her heart pounding. She was alone, in his office, with him…again. And she was going to be marrying him in a matter of days. No matter that they hadn’t had a single real conversation with each other in nearly two years. Her eyes swept up to his and she stifled a gasp at the stark intensity of his gaze.
She was a sight to see, Spike thought as his gaze perused her body trailing from her head all the way down to her feet. This was going to be hell, marrying her, yet not really having her. But it was going to keep her safe and that was why he had come back. Gesturing to one of the chairs in front of his desk he spoke. “Have a seat.”
Buffy let herself flop down into the chair her gaze traveling everywhere around the office but at him. Why did he have to look so darn good! It just wasn’t fair, she thought.
“So, to what do I owe the pleasure of a visit from you, love?” he asked amused at how she avoided his gaze. Of course he knew why she was there; he had spoken with Giles earlier and had been expecting her. He had, however, been expecting an angry skater, not the subdued one who sat across from him. It made him more than a little worried. There were a lot of unresolved issues between them, and they had hardly spoken since his return. Maybe the wasn’t going to be quite as easy as he had envisioned.
Buffy’s gaze quickly went to his. “I…I just finished talking to Giles.”
“And he explained everything, did he?” Spike clasped his hands together nervously on his desk. What he wouldn’t give for a smoke right about now. He had been trying quit, though lately he had been very unsuccessful.
“I guess so. He told me that there have been other notes, a—and about the plan for you and me.” She finished the last part so quickly that the words jumbled together, but Spike understood her. He ran a hand through his hair and studied the woman in front of him. She didn’t appear to be angry, or even upset, just…quiet. Which for her was slightly unusual, she was usually pretty vibrant. He wondered if perhaps she had exhausted all her energy arguing with Giles. That certainly didn’t give him much confidence.
“So what’s your reaction then?”
“I think it’s completely insane, but if that’s what it takes, then that’s what it takes. It’s just a little wiggsome, you know?”
Spike smiled at her choice of word. And she used to give him a hard time for the words he used, he thought with a slight hint of sarcasm.
“ ‘s a good plan, Buffy, and I promise it will all be over before you know it. You won’t have to put up with my sorry arse any longer than necessary.” His tone was teasing and he hoped that it would get a grin out of her. He wasn’t disappointed.
“You’re not that bad to put up with,” she said shyly, daring to look up from the spot she had been staring at on his desk. She was rewarded with a genuine smile. She felt a blush tint her cheeks, under the scrutiny of his gaze.
“Not so bad, am I? That’s good to know, pet. Haven’t had many people tell me that.”
“Spike,” Buffy rolled her eyes. “You know, I take that pack. You are a pain in the ass!”
Spike pretended to look hurt for a moment, but then turned serious again. “Seriously, pet, I know this can’t be easy for you.”
“I just,” Buffy said and then paused for a moment, reaching out to snag a pencil off of his desk to play with. She twirled it in her fingers as she contemplated her next statement. “I just wish I had known about this all along, you know? The note I got today wouldn’t have been such a surprise if I had known there had been others. I honestly thought for a while that it was a joke, Will.” Spikes head jerked up at her use of his given name. She had often called him that before, when they were alone. But since his return he had always been Spike in the few brief encounters they had had at the rink. “When Giles said it wasn’t it really wigged me out.”
Spike sighed. He desperately wanted to go around his desk and pull her into his arms and tell her it would all be okay. He just wasn’t all that certain that his affection would be welcome. She had seemed to do her best to avoid him as much as possible since his return. He couldn’t exactly blame her.
“I’m sure it did. But Giles and them did it for a good reason. No one wanted you to worry.”
“I get that, Spike, I really do, but I’m tired of being treated like a little girl around here. I’m not a child! I should have been told long before it came to a point where I need to get married in order to trip this guy up.” Buffy was getting riled up again; her frustration over the fact that she had been deliberately left out of the loop evident in her tone of voice.
“I know, love” Spike replied a rueful look on his face. He had told Giles that it wasn’t a good idea to keep things from Buffy, but the old man hadn’t wanted to listen. His fatherly affection driving him to feel the need to keep the worst from her in hopes that it could just be fixed without her ever knowing. “But it’s done, and now ‘s time to move on.”
Buffy nodded knowing he was right. “So do you have a plan for all of this? Giles didn’t really tell me much.” The sooner they did this the sooner she could go home to her nice little apartment and pretend like this day had never happened.
Spike drew in a deep breath and silently prayed that he didn’t fuck this up. He knew they had some issues to work through if they were going to be convincing enough to pull this off, but he wanted to get through this first meeting without pushing her for too much too soon.
“I figured we could fly out to Vegas for the weekend. We’re s’pposed to be eloping, so the way I figure it Vegas is the best. I picked up two tickets for a flight late Thursday morning. Giles agreed to let us both have the weekend off and all of next week. Gives us a chance for a short honeymoon.”
“Honeymoon?” Buffy squeaked out. That brought several images to mind that she wasn’t quite prepared for. Yes, she hadn’t had many relationships, and none of them physical relationships. Yep, total virgin here. Hey, who could really blame her? She had made a commitment to skating and guys just hadn’t ever fit in the picture before. That did not mean that she didn’t have a very good imagination, or never watched one of those premium movie channels that had shows that she called ‘porn with plot’. The thought of a honeymoon brought forth thoughts of her and Spike entangled in the sheets of a king size bed. She could feel her face starting to heat up. Okay, Buffy, enough with the naughty thoughts, she scolded herself. Now is not the time for this.
“People are gonna expect it, pet. If we’re gonna pull this off, we got to do this right.”
Buffy pushed a strand of hair back behind her ear, and thought for a moment. “Do we have to go to Vegas? Couldn’t we just do it here?” The thought of going away with Spike both scared and excited her. It was bad enough that she was going to have to share a house with him, but a honeymoon? He would probably expect them to share a hotel room. How would she survive being that close to him and not making a total fool of herself? If the stalker didn’t kill her, this just might.
“Spontaneity, pet.” Spike with a smirk. “After all ‘s me you’re getting hitched to. ‘Sides it’ll hopefully be easier to get it undone when it’s all over.” He didn’t really want to think about that. Right now he just wanted to appreciate the time he had with her and make the most of it. After all when it was over, he would probably be leaving again.
Buffy smirked. He had that right. It might surprise people that she had run off to Vegas to get married, but Spike? Nah, that wouldn’t even faze them. He really seemed to have put some thought into this…or at least someone had. “Good point.”
“It’ll be fun, Buffy, a nice little vacation for you; which, by the way, I think you need. I know this past year has been rough on you, yeah?”
“Yeah, I guess…I just…” Buffy struggled with what to say.
“Look, how ‘bout we go out tonight? Someplace quiet like…maybe the Espresso Pump?” Spike said suggesting the popular all night coffee house. He knew they were going to have to talk about the past in order to move forward. And the task ahead of him, keeping her safe, depended on their ability to make people believe they were together.
“The Espresso Pump?” The look on Buffy’s face almost made Spike laugh. Buffy, had been expecting him to suggest the Bronze, or maybe even that bar- Willy’s, she thought it was called. That seemed more like his style. Or at least that’s what he led everyone to believe. He had always been there with his friends before.
“Bloody hell, pet. I’m not the kind of man to take my lady to a bar for a serious conversation.” He said practically reading her mind.
Buffy felt a shiver run down her spine when he called her ‘his lady’. If only that were true, she thought. Spike knew what she expected of him. What he knew she didn’t know was that when he wasn’t with his friends he would often stop in at the Espresso Pump for some quiet time. He enjoyed the atmosphere. “ ‘Sides, I happen to like it. They usually have a pretty good cuppa.”
“Sorry, it’s just that…never mind.” Buffy said with a sigh. “That sounds like a good idea.” Oh dear heaven, she had just agreed to a date with the guy. It was a date, wasn’t it? She was getting married to him, so it had to be a date? God, she was never going to survive this.
“Alright then. The team has a game tonight? Do you have to work? I was thinking I could wait around til you were done and then we could go out.” He offered. He had taken over Angel’s position as the coach for the Jr. A hockey team at the rink. Normally they wouldn’t be playing in the middle of summer, but Spike had decided to have those who were still in town, which happened to be most of them, play in the rinks summer league for more practice.
“I just have a few lessons in the early evening. Giles hasn’t needed my help much this summer, other than the marketing work I’ve been doing.” Buffy had often filled in at the rink in a variety of positions when Giles needed the help. Lately she had been working on some special events and marketing campaigns. She enjoyed planning things, and it gave her something to do when she wasn’t practicing. She had been fortunate that her mother’s gallery had been successful enough to support her skating, then when she won at the Olympics the money from endorsements and other things kept her from having to find work full time. For the time being she only had to concentrate on skating.
“So, you think you might want to stay for the game?” Spike asked, almost shyly. She had used to come to every game when he was there before, but he hadn’t seen her at one in the past few months. He wondered if perhaps she avoided them because of him. “Or I could stop by your place when it’s over.” He said when she didn’t respond immediately.
“I’ll stay for the game. It’ll be a nice distraction. I haven’t had a chance to get to one yet this year.” What she didn’t say was that she hadn’t been to one since he had left, and since he had been back she hadn’ t had the time or the courage. Given everything, she hadn’t thought she was ready for that. It was often hard enough just seeing him in the hallways.
“All set then.” Spike reached into a drawer and pulled out a small box & then stood. Buffy watched as he walked around the desk and knelt in front of her. Oh God, she thought. She wasn’t prepared for this. She had dreamed of a moment like this, a moment when the man of her dreams knelt before her and asked her to marry him. But this wasn’t that dream. This wasn’t real. Why couldn’t it be real? Spike himself was rather nervous. He had wanted to do right by Buffy, giving her every experience she should have with a wedding. Well, almost every experience. He wanted to make it memorable, and take away the nightmare of the reality of her stalker. Buffy could sense is nervousness as he tightly gripped the box he held. His head was down, staring at the box that was in the hand he rested on his bent knee. It took all she had not to reach out and run her fingers through his hair. She wanted to touch him, almost believing that perhaps this all really was a dream.
“Buffy, I know this isn’t real. I know that there’s a lot we need to talk about and suss out between us. You deserve better than this, and a lot better than me, but I’m who you’re stuck with right now. I just want you to know that I plan to do right by you, and do everything in my power to make sure that this is a decent experience and that you stay safe.” Spike finally looked up at her, carefully holding out the box for her to take.
Buffy was valiantly fighting back tears as she reached out and tentatively took the small velvet box from him. She knew what was inside. The scene that was unfolding before her was a dream she had had over and over again, and always in her dreams she had said yes. Yet this time she didn’t know what to say or do. This wasn’t real, it couldn’t be real, and yet, in a way, it was.
“Open it, love.” He said softly, placing a hand on her knee and waiting for her to lift the lid. Slowly Buffy snapped the lid open and gasped. Nestled inside, sparkling up at her was an engagement ring. The center stone was a brilliant diamond that sparkled in the light, surround on either side by a bright green emerald. The green matched the color of her eyes, and Buffy couldn’t prevent the escape of a single tear. It shocked her that he had a ring for her. Why would he go to all the trouble of getting a ring, knowing that it was just for show? It wasn’t like they couldn’t just tell people that they had opted not to have rings. Then again, he knew her, and he knew her friends. He knew they would expect it.
“You deserve a real proposal. After all, it’s not every day you get proposed to. So….Buffy Anne Summers, will you marry me?”
Buffy looked down at Spike, desperately trying to prevent more tears from falling. Spike reached up and carefully brushed away the single tear that had already fallen. His touch was gentle and Buffy briefly closed her eyes, loving the tender feel of the caress of his fingers on her cheek.
“Do I have a really choice?” She asked softly, reopening her eyes and looking into his. Spike blinked, and pulled back his hand. He wasn’t prepared for how hurt he felt that she didn’t immediately agree.
“You always have a choice, Buffy, but please don’t say no. I can protect you and I will do everything in my power to be a good husband til this is over.” He said, his voice pleading with her to accept. He desperately wanted her to trust him. Damn, where did that come from?
“How can I say no to that,” Buffy said with a slight smile. “Yes, I’ll marry you, Spike.”
Spike carefully took the ring from the box and slipped it on her finger. Much to her surprise he then lifted her hand to his lips and placed a kiss on her hand just above the ring. He knew that it wouldn’t be easy, but he wanted to make this a good experience for them. He had told Giles that he wasn’t going to give in to his feelings for Buffy this time, he would protect her, but not love her, but he had lied. He had always loved her; perhaps this was his chance to repair some of the damage he had done by leaving her two years ago. If nothing else, maybe they could at the very least walk away friends.
Buffy cleared her thoat, trying desperately to ignore the tingling she felt in her hand where he had kissed it. “What should I say if people ask about the ring?”
“We’re leaving day after tomorrow, I can’t imaging many people noticing before then. If they do, tell them whatever you want. ‘s up to you.” Spike said standing up.” They’ll know soon enough.”
Buffy stood too, and wrapped her arms protectively around her midsection. She was sure Willow would notice. Nothing got by her. She wasn’t worried about Xander. He had been busy lately with his new girlfriend Anya, so she probably wouldn’t even see him until she and Spike had returned from Vegas.
“We’ll talk more tonight, but I suggest you start packing some stuff. We can get you moved into the house when we get back.”
“Okay,” she said quietly.
“Buffy,” she didn’t look up at him when he spoke, so he reached out and hooked a finger under her chin, tilting her head up until she looked him in the eye. “This will all work out, love. We’ll get this guy. I promise.”
Without a word, Buffy nodded and slipped out of his office. Spike returned to his chair and flopped down into it. Resting his head in his hands, he weaved his fingers through his hair messing up the carefully slicked back curls. He couldn’t screw this up. He hadn’t wanted to admit that he had been hoping for a second chance with her. He had regretted leaving, but he just didn’t know how to come back. When Giles had called and asked for his help he jumped on it. He told himself it was just because he cared about her safety. She was a friend, someone he cared about. But the fact of the matter was, he had wanted to come back. If they could make it through this, maybe, just maybe he could stay.
Buffy had quickly retrieved her bag from the locker room, noticing that it was well after 1 o’clock and head up to the main lobby so she could leave. She had to be back at the rink at 5 for lessons with a couple of her students, and she wanted some time away from the rink to consider everything that had just happened.
“Buffy!” she heard Giles call when she walked past the front desk. With a sigh she walked over to the desk area and dropped her bag. Giles came over to stand just opposite her at the counter.
“What’s up, Giles?” she said trying to be perky. She hoped he didn’t ask about her conversation with Spike.
“I just have one more thing I want to say to you.”
“Okay, shoot.” She was curious what else he felt he needed to say.
“I know I alluded to this earlier, but take advantage of this opportunity. I know things were hard for you when Spike left, but he’s back. And no matter what you think, I know the boy still has feelings for you.”
“Giles!” Buffy exclaimed, a realization dawning on her. “Are you using this to set us up?”
“Shh…” he said quickly, his gaze darting around to see if there was anyone within earshot. Thankfully there wasn’t. “Just take my advice and don’t push him away. I know you think you know, Spike, but you don’t. I don’t believe anyone here really knows the real Spike. You only know what you have heard, and what happened two years ago, was two years ago. It isn’t now. I know I probably should not be saying this, but he does care about you, even if you don’t think so. Please, trust me on this.”
Buffy thought hard for a moment. It almost sounded as if Giles was giving his approval to Spike. Then again, he hadn’t exactly disapproved two years ago. It occurred to her that surprisingly, Spike was the only guy that he had shown any support for. It intrigued her. Did he know something she didn’t?
“Okay. I will keep an open mind.” She said diplomatically. That should satisfy him, she thought. Apparently it did as he gave her a quick nod of his head.
“Thank you. I shall see you later this evening.” With that he walked away and back towards his office.
Buffy sighed and went out to her car to head home.





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