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She softly broke the kiss and froze, not believing what she had just done. She didn’t say anything… she didn’t scream, she didn’t cry, she just gave into the first impulse she felt her body was asking for… she hugged him as hard as she could.
He hugged her back, smelling the aroma of her hair, caressing it while he hid his face between her neck and shoulder. He felt her breath becoming faster and shorter, and something wet on his neck. He pulled back from her and saw some tears coming out her eyes. He kissed her forehead, telling her that everything was going to be okay.
When she looked up, everybody was staring at them after the spectacle with the truck and Spike’s heroic scene.
“Ma’am, are you okay?” An old lady asked, looking at them, worried.
“Yes…” they stood up and she dried the rest of the tears off her face. “I’m okay, thank you.”
The crowd slowly spread through the street and shops. Buffy turned around, to see if Spike was there, hoping he hadn’t disappeared again, but he was right behind her, staring at her.
*She’s as beautiful as always.* He thought. Then walked towards her and caressed the soft skin of her cheek.
“I…” She started to say, but what should she say? Her mind was turning in circles, she was so confused… “I don’t… understand.”
“It’s okay, luv.” He moved his arms around her and speak in her hear. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”
She passed her hands around his body and caressed his back, smelling the scent of tobacco in his coat and shirt.
“I’m so glad you’re here…” she said as some new tears started to roll down her cheeks.
“Not as glad as I am to see you again.” He smiled.
“Just… don’t go away, k?”
“I won’t go anywhere, Buffy. I promise. It’s been so long since… I’ve been waiting for this moment for months now.”
“But…” She moved apart. “When did you… come back?”
“I… Well I came back a few months ago…”
“And why didn’t you call me??”
“Buffy, I… I wasn’t sure what would happen, I mean I had to see you in person. I couldn’t just call you and tell you I was alive!”
“And why didn’t you come to England?!”
“’Cause I wasn’t sure if you wanted to see me or not!”
Buffy raised her arms, in sign of incomprehension. Then she turned around and walked towards her hotel. Spike followed her.
“Buffy, I’m sorry! I just thought that it would be worse for you if I called you and told you that!”
She turned around, now furious.
“WHAT?! Oh, yeah! That’s great!! I’ve been crying for months over you, and you couldn’t make a fucking call!!”
Some people in the street started to look at them.
“You cried for me?” Spike asked, scratching his head.
Buffy just sighed, turned around and walked inside the hotel.
“Wait, Buffy!”
She walked towards the elevator and pressed the fourth button.
“Buffy!!” But the doors closed before he got there. “Dammit!!” He turned around and ran towards the fire stairs. He ran upstairs, checking every time in every floor if Buffy had already arrived or not. Finally, when he got to the fourth floor, the doors of the elevator opened and Buffy walked out.
“You still here?” She asked, taking the keys out of her purse. “Why don’t you go to the Hellmouth and die again there? It’ll be much easier for all of us.”
“Buffy… don’t…” But she closed the door on his face. “Ack! Crap!”

~~~~~

She held the pillow tighter against her chest and cried harder. All those months, all that time, crying for him, and he was alive! He didn’t even care enough to call her, or bother to see of she was okay or not. He had come back and went on with his life, just like that…
“Ouch…” She heard from the window. She turned around and saw Spike climbing up onto the balcony.
“Oh, just great…” She muttered and turned around again pretending she was asleep.
“I know you’re awake…” Spike said, stepping on the frame of the window. “I can hear your breathing.”
“What do you want?”
“Could you invite me in first?”
“No,” she replied, still without looking at him. “I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Fine, then I’ll talk.” He sighed. “I’m sorry luv, I didn’t know you were so upset and sad for me. I thought…” he stared at his feet. “I thought you had said those words because you knew it’d be the last time you saw me.”
“I didn’t say it just because I wanted to please you.” She swelled. “I said that because I really meant it.”
“I know… Lorne told me a couple days ago.”
Buffy turned around and sat abruptly on the bed.
“And you need a green demon to tell you that my words are true so you can believe me??”
“How do you know—“
“Fred told me about him.” She threw him the pillow over his head. “Bastard.”
He caught the pillow in the air.
“Bitch.” He smiled, and then threw the pillow back to her. “Now, would you invite me in?”
“No.”
Spike sighed.
“Fine.” He sat, laying on the frame of the wall and lit up a cigarette. “I’ll just wait here for the sun to come up and burn me.”
“That’s a great idea.”
“Or I could tell you how much I love you.”
“It won’t work.”
“I love you.”
“No you don’t.”
“Buffy!”
She turned around to look at him.
“If you loved me you should have answered “I love you too” when I said it to you in Sunnydale. And you just said “No you don’t but thanks for saying it”?! That’s the worst answer I’ve ever heard!!” she turned around again. “I hate you.”
Spike didn’t say anything, just exhaled some smoke through his nose.
“I knew I was going to die, Buffy, and if I had told you that I loved you too it would have been much harder to forget me.”
Buffy turned around, stood up and walked towards him. She kicked his leg.
“Ouch!!”
“And… why.. did you.. want… me to forget.. you?!” she asked, kicking him again and again in every pause.
“Because!” He grabbed her leg in the air and threw her to the floor, next to him. Then pulled her against his body and onto his lap. “Because… I didn’t know if you really loved me. And if you did… I didn’t want to see you suffer the way you have always done. You’ve suffered all your life for those bastards you had as boyfriends. That stupid poof Angel made you suffer when he lost his soul, and then when he left, then Parker…”
“How do you know about Parker?”
“I used to spy on you.”
“You spied on me??”
“Yeah, well the point is, that Parker made you suffer and then Riley… and then even your friends when they brought you back.”
Buffy stared at her hands and Spike sighed.
“I hate to see you crying, not to mention to see you suffering!” She was seated against his pelvis and he adjusted his knees so he could pull her closer to his chest. “I love you Buffy, I care about you…” He moved a lock of hair off her face. “I care about your feelings, so please don’t be mad at me…”
She sighed.
“I’m not mad at you. I’m just too tired… Tired of crying…” she laid her forehead on his shoulder.
“You don’t have to cry anymore, baby.”

~~~~~

A few hours later she opened slowly her eyes. He was still there, he hadn’t left. It’ was still dark outside and they were sleeping on Buffy’s bed.
She raised her head and stared at him, sleeping, surely dreaming about something. What would he dreaming about? The two of them, together? A new and “normal” life outside the Hellmouth? For the first time, they would have the chance of living without hiding from anyone, without slaying and killing each other. Because she wasn’t the slayer anymore, and all the responsibilities she had now were paying the water and light companies. What a boring, normal life…
But now he was here. What would Dawn think about this? About them? Had she already seen he was alive?
She caressed his cold cheek and sighed, leaving all those questions for another occasion.

TBC…





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