The next time Buffy woke up Spike was gone. She sighed heavily and glanced over at her alarm clock. It was around eleven. Leaning up against the clock was a note. A smile broke over her face, pleased that Spike had left a note. She snatched it away from its resting spot and opened it.
Her face fell.
Buffy-
You looked too peaceful to wake up this morning so I decided to let you sleep. They called me in at the gallery for the day. I’ll see you around dinner so I’ll pick up Chinese for us.
Love Mom
Buffy closed her eyes and fell back against her soft pillows. Okay no note. He’d just left. She shook her head. What had she expected really? To wake up in his arms once more? Please. Besides, her mother would have died on the spot. She turned her head to look at the place he’d slept the night. Her hand drifted out and gently stroked the pillow. As if she’d touched fire, she yanked her hand back.
What the hell was wrong with her?
Riley. Buffy didn’t know where the thought had come from but it was there. Oh god, poor Riley. She was a terrible person. All he wanted to was to love her and here she was so madly and passionately in love/hate with her ex. Oh, she so couldn’t deal with this right now.
Buffy jumped out of bed and rushed over to her closet. She quickly dressed into a pair of jeans and a pale lilac colored cami with cream lace trim. She brushed her golden locks, applied some light lip gloss and she was out the door, only stopping to grab her khaki colored racer jacket. She had to talk to Riley. He had to be wondering what the fuck was going on. He was going to be so mad. He had every right to be mad though. She had never meant to hurt him. That’s why she had to be honest and end this as smoothly as possibly.
**********************************************************
Spike stared up at the ceiling in the bedroom of his current living arrangement. He felt like he was sinking.
He’d had her right there in his arms and it had been heaven. He hadn’t needed any cocaine to feel it. All he had needed was her. Now he didn’t have either. Now he was in hell.
He’d experienced some lows but none were quite like this one. Not even on the day of Ruby’s funeral. After Buffy had left and he’d broken down he’d went home and snorted his entire stash. Nearly bloody well killed himself he did. At least then he’d had the drugs to keep him from going under. This was the ultimate low.
The funny thing was, he was pretty sure not having her with him was the major contributor of this horrible feeling. He just wanted it to go away.
He didn’t know why he didn’t just go and snort some coke. Nothing was stopping him. Nate had said that as long as Spike paid him back, what he had here was his.
Oh yeah. Buffy. Her words from the night before replayed in his head. I’m gonna save you, you know.
The question was, did he really want to be saved?
A lazy smile crossed his face.
If it meant having her then bloody hell yes.
**********************************************************
Buffy took a deep, calming breath before ringing the Finn’s doorbell.
A few seconds pasted before Mrs. Finn answered the door and smiled at Buffy warmly, “Oh hello dear. Riley’s in his room. Why don’t you just go on up?”
Buffy smiled thankfully and entered the house, “Thanks Mrs. Finn.”
“Please, call me Helen,” she insisted with a very, please, call me mom look in her eye, “You know we all think very highly of you here in this house Buffy. You make our Riley so happy.” The look scared Buffy shitless.
Buffy put on a fake smile and nodded, “Okay, Helen it is. And thanks. Riley makes me happy too.”
Lie.
She just wanted to get out of there before “Helen” started asking for her dress measurements for a wedding dress.
She then turned and hurried up the stairs to Riley’s room.
“Come in,” Riley called to her as she knocked.
She took another calming breath and entered his room.
Reily was lounging on his bed reading Sports Illustrated. The Swim Suite addition of course.
“Hey,” he greeted her with his infamous boyish smile. Buffy’s heart broke for him there and then. God she was an evil bitch. She was here to break his heart and he didn’t have a clue in the world.
She couldn’t help but wince at the large black eye he was adorning. So, Spike could still pack a punch.
“What’s the matter?” he asked cautiously.
Buffy smiled sadly, “I’m sorry for last night Riley.”
He laughed and nodded, “Yeah um speaking of last night. Who was that and where did you disappear too?”
“That was my ex-boyfriend,” Buffy sighed, sitting down on the edge of Riley’s bed, “I, I didn’t know that he was at The Bronze too.”
He looked away and nodded, “Oh. He seems kinda possessive. All I did was say you're name and…” he trailed off.
Buffy couldn’t help but laugh a little, “Yeah, the concept that we’re over hasn’t exactly sunk into his head quite yet.” Shit, she was starting to lie to him. This was definitely going in the wrong direction.
But he left you this morning. The little bitchy voice in the back of Buffy’s head was coming back.
What does that say huh Buff? The asshole could have at least woken you up or left a note but no. He just fucking left.
The bitchy little voice made a valid point.
“Well that’s okay,” Riley smiled at her warmly, “You're mine. I know it and you know and that’s all that matters.”
Riley opened his arms in an invitation for her to snuggle up next to him.
Buffy mentally sighed and crawled over to her boyfriend. She rested her head against his chest as he wrapped her arms around her waist.
Buffy forced a smile over her lips, “Yeah. That’s all that matters.”
If he only knew what was really going on underneath this smile.
**********************************************************
What I'm standing on is sinking in
And I don't have a clue how to get off of it
But when I look at you there is hope
It's like you see the sadness in my eyes
You read the blue between the lines
You could be the one to hold me when I wanna cry
Underneath this smile
My world is slowly caving in
All the while
I'm hanging on
Cause that is all I know
Could you be the one to save me from every bad habit that has helped me dig this hole?
I've been hiding out for miles
Underneath this smile
I have walked this earth with broken bones
I've been keeping secrets under all these lights
But when you're around my defenses go
You don't let me run away from you
You don't let me twist and turn the truth
It feels as if I'm naked when you're standing in the room
Underneath this smile
My world is slowly caving in
All the while
I'm hanging on instead of letting go
Could you be the one to save me from every bad habit that has helped me dig this hole?
I've been hiding out too long
Underneath this smile
Underneath this smile
Oh, yeah
Underneath this smile
My world is slowly caving in
All the while
I'm hanging on instead of letting go
Could you be the one to save me from every bad habit that has helped me dig this hole?
Underneath this smile
Could you be the one to save me from every bad habit that has helped me dig this hole?
I've been hiding out for miles
Underneath this
Underneath this
Underneath this smile
What I'm standing on is sinking in
**********************************************************
Okay here’s another chapter for you all but I have to say I have a problem. 151 people read my latest chapter but how many of you review? 2. Come on people! I’m not picky about reviews. You can tell me that you love it, you can tell me you like it, you can even tell me you hate it. Like I said, I’m not picky! For the two of you that did review, ever so much thanks. This chapter was for you two.
[Reviews - 33]
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