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Spike stepped out from the shelves to make himself seen.
Giles had to stop and look again when he saw him, “William.”
“Rupert,” Spike smirked.
“H-how long ago did you arrive?” Giles asked, taking off his glasses and polishing them feverishly.
“Long enough to hear Buffy say hey,” Spike replied. He looked down at his doc marten clad feet, “She looks bloody amazing.”
Giles put his glasses back on his face, “Yes, well that’s what three years of eating again will do for a girl.”
Spike looked up and scowled at his father, “Let’s get this over with da. I need money.”
“I’m not going to give you any money,” Giles stated, looking at his son intensely, “You’ve made no effort whatsoever to clean your life up. Look at you!”
“What’s wrong with me?” Spike bit back automatically regretting it.
Giles’s eyes went wide, “What’s wrong with you? What’s wrong with you?! You're addicted to cocaine! That’s what’s wrong with you! You're not my son anymore William. You haven’t been for a long while.”
Spike’s entire face fell, “Fine, I’ll just be on my way.”
He started to head for the door but Giles stopped his, “Leave her alone William. She’s done so well for herself and you’ll ruin it all for her. Do you want that?”
Spike turned back and glared, “I won't ruin her. I bloody well love her!”
“If you love her, you’ll stay away from her,” Giles sighed, “Do you really think that every thing will be just bloody dandy for her if you drag her back into the world?”
Spike didn’t get a chance to reply. Both Brits had noticed the presence of the small blonde in the room once more. They both turned to look at her as she squeaked, “I forgot my book. I’m just gonna…” she trailed off, biting her bottom lip worriedly. She grabbed her book off the table and turned for a rapid exit.
A thousand feelings where rushing through Buffy at once. Happiness that he loved her, fear of being with him again, confusion about what had happened between them three years ago and also anger because he was a total asshole. She looked around at the two men once more before bolting as fast as she could, completely disregarding the book she’d come back for.
Spike was after her in a split second.
Buffy was running through the empty halls as fast as her legs could carry her. This was just so unfair! Why did he have to come back? Why hadn’t he come back sooner? Was he even here for her? Of course not, a voice in her head chided. He came back because he was out of coke money. She remembered how it was. He didn’t have any cash to buy what got him by what got him by. He was on such a low that he had to turn to his father. He wasn’t back for her at all.
Tears started to build in her eyes. Life was so unfair. She reached the courtyard in front of the school and her legs gave in. Not from running but from emotional distress.
She collapsed down on the edge of the large fountain with a pant. She wiped away her eyes violently and hung her head. She hated this.
“Buffy!” Spike panted out, finally catching up with her.
She looked up at him with glossy eyes, “Please just leave me alone Spike.”
This made him angry, “I find you again and you want me to bloody well leave you alone?! That’s not going to happen kitten. I love you.”
Buffy shook her head vehemently, “If you love me then let me live my life!”
She had no idea where this all was coming from. She wanted to be with him but there was a part of her that knew, knew that if she were to let him back into her life she’d loose everything she’d worked so hard to get. Freedom from drugs. It was an extremely sweet and she didn’t want to loose it.
Willow watched with wide eyed fascination. What the heck was this?
“Luv please,” Spike tried to reason, “We can get out of here and never look back. I’ll give you everything you ever wanted. Please I can't loose you again.”
“You haven’t found me again Spike!” Buffy shot up, “I’m happy here! I have a life that doesn’t consist of almost overdosing every night and it feels wonderful! I have REAL friends and family that I see more than every Sunday night for brunch and a boyfriend that loves me without substances! Don’t take this away from me!”
This made him even angry. A boyfriend. She had a bloody fucking boyfriend!
“And what pet?” Spike smirked cruelly, “Do they know about just what your life was like in LA? Did you tell them that you're nothing more than a little coke whore huh?”
Buffy’s face fell, “That’s what I used to be you son of a bitch! I hate you!”
If Willow’s eyes had been wide before, they were saucer size now. Ohmigod!
He let out a bitter laugh, “You say that now Buffy but what would happen if you had it in front of you again. You and I know both that’d you’d be back so bloody quick, the three years you’ve been clean would be nothing more than a fucking blur!”
Buffy shook her head angrily, tears streaming down her face and shot up, “No that’s you Spike. I’m stronger than that. I will NEVER go back to that life. This started out for Ruby but in the end I did this for me and that’s all that matters!”
“Fine,” Spike spat out, “If you want to pretend to have a blood fucking normal life and act like you're a normal girl that’s never even touched a beer than that’s fine but I’m not going anywhere! You're mine and you’ve never stopped being mine! I love you and I’m not giving you up this easily!”
Before she even knew what was happening he’d kissed her harshly. She pushed him off with all the strength she could muster. She stared at him with tear filled eyes as he stared back at her with ones filled with determination, “I’ll see you around kitten.”
Buffy watched him, utterly stunned until he was out of view. That was when her legs gave out once more and she fell to the ground with an earth shattering sob.
Willow slowly made her way over to Buffy and knelt down next to her, “Buffy?”
Buffy looked up at Willow and let out another sob.
Willow wrapped her arms around her best friend and just let her cry right there in the middle of the courtyard. They stayed that way for what seemed to be forever.

They've clipped my wings again
Tore them apart and then
Left me
No use to fly away to
My yesterday
Of freedom
My eyes died back that day
Seeing the hurt I may have done
Beat my instead of them
Pain is my only Zen
Of fun

I'll go where secrets are sold
Where roses unfold
I'll sleep as time goes by

So hurting here is where I belong singing a sound
Blood on my hands to stay strong
The flowers in the graveyard are all gone I don't belong
There is no right to heal the wrong
Soup's on hot feelin' like a do or die
I can't throw up don't think i even want to try

You still can't make me cry
You've pinned this butterfly
Down
My fire's burning out
Kill my flame without
A frown
And starving hurts the soul
When you're hungry for
Some love
So if I close my eyes
I can really fly
Above

I'll go where secrets are sold
Where roses unfold
I'll sleep as time goes by

So hurting here is where I belong dreaming a song
Blood on my hands to stay strong
The flowers in the graveyard are all gone I don't belong
There is no right to heal the wrong
Soup's on hot feelin' like a do or die
I can't throw up don't think I even want to
Tryyy- tryyyy- tryyyyyy

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AN: and there ya go. Another chapter for you all. Remember, all you have to do is review, review, review and the chapters will come so quickly you won't even know that there was a time in between the last time and the next I updated.





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