Buffy let herself into her house around the time she was usually home after school.
Her mother was waiting for her with her arms crossed over her chest, a hard look on her face.
“I got a call from the school today,” she stated, “They said that you skipped out early.”
“He’s back mommy,” Buffy said quietly, “Showed up today and we got into a huge fight in the quad. Willow and me left because I couldn’t stop crying.”
“Oh baby,” her mother whispered, taking her daughter into a hug.
“Why is so hard?” Buffy asked pulling away, “I don’t want to live like that ever again but the second I saw him…”
“All of it crumbled?” her finished for her daughter.
Buffy nodded and plopped down on the couch, “I don’t think he’s going to be willing leaving anytime soon. I know him. He’s gonna stick around until we’re one dysfunctional cocaine based couple again.”
“Then I guess he’s going to be living in Sunnydale for the rest of his life,” he mother replied a little too flippantly.
Buffy looked away before silently replying, “I’m not sure about that.”

**********************************************************

“Do you really think that this is smart?” her mother asked Buffy came downstairs in her Bronzing clothing.
Buffy nodded, “I have to go on with my life like he’s not even here. It’s Friday which is Bronzing night with the gang. Now I’m late already.”
Joyce sighed, “Okay, I suppose you're right. I’ll give you a ride.”
Buffy smiled brightly, “Thanks mommy. Let’s jet.”

**********************************************************

Her mother dropped her off outside of The Bronze around seven-thirty.
Buffy smiled and gave her a kiss on the cheek, “I’ll see you later. Bye mom!”
“Bye baby.” Joyce nodded, “And be careful.”
Buffy sighed, knowing exactly where her mother was coming from and nodded back. Her mother wasn’t talking about muggers or serial rapists, she was talking about Spike, “I will.”
Buffy entered the little club and spotted her friends and boyfriend immediately. She waved brightly and made her way over to them, “Hey!”
“Hey, it’s the Buffster,” Xander greeted her.
Buffy laughed, “Hey Xand, Wills, Riley.”
Riley lent over and planted a kiss on Buffy’s cheek that made her skin crawl. Okay that wasn’t a good feeling to have when your boyfriend kisses you, “Hey you.”
“Hey,” Buffy said trying to mask her discomfort.
Willow caught it all and smiled at her friend warmly, “Hi Buff. Let’s dance.”
Buffy nodded, thankful for the excuse to get away, “Okay, let’s boogie.”
The girls linked arms and skipped off to the dance floor.
“You okay?” Willow finally asked.
Buffy sighed and nodded, “Yeah, I’m okay.”
Willow glanced at the door and her heart skipped a beat when she saw a newly familiar platinum haired man, “Good cause he’s here Buff.”

*********************************************************

Spike entered the small little club with a smirk on his face. Yeah this would do nicely. Get drunk and pick up a girl. At least until he had Buffy back. He wasn’t going to muck it all up again by cheating on her.
He was in such a good mood because Nate had indeed had something stashed. He’d have to pay him back when he got some cash though.
He took his place at the bar and waited for the chits to storm.

**********************************************************

Buffy alternated between watching Spike and Riley. They could NOT meet up because everything would all go to hell. Okay it already was but even more if they met each other.
Her hazel gaze rested on Spike once more and she sighed wistfully. If only. If only they’d met and they’d both just been normal, drug free teenagers. Things would have been so good.
She mentally shook her head. No, she couldn’t go down that road. It would only bring tears. She couldn’t start thinking about how it could have been because no matter how hard she wished it, and wanted it, it would never happen.
It was too late. Silent tears were already leaking down her face.
“Buffy?” Willow asked quietly.
Buffy took a deep breath, “I’m gonna go to the bathroom. Watch them like a hawk.”
Willow nodded and smiled sympathetically at her friend. She watched Buffy disappear into the crowd before turning back to the table. Riley was gone. Her gaze snapped to the bar. Oh goddess.

**********************************************************

“Two regular and two diet cokes,” Riley ordered the bartender.
Spike turned to get a look at the pounce next to him. Coke. What a poof. Bloody hell, speaking of that…
Fuck he needed a fix.
He’d take it out on this pillock.
“You and your boyfriend must be really thirsty,” Spike commented with a smirk.
Riley’s eyes narrowed, “Shut the hell up bleach boy. If anyone’s a fagot it’s you.”
Spike smirk widened, “Oh come on now White Bread, nothin to be ashamed off.”
Riley sighed heavily, “One is for my girlfriend Buffy you assh…”
That was all he got out before a fist connected with his face.
Her name. Spike didn’t like the poofer saying it. Only he could.
Bloody fucking hell! Why would she have a boyfriend like this?
Because, he reminded himself, he’s the exact opposite of you.
“What the fuck was that for!” Riley screamed, clutching his possibly broken nose.
“You don’t deserve to say her name,” Spike bit out, “She belongs to me!”
“Riley!” Willow called out, running over to her friend’s side. She stopped to glare at Spike.
Her glare wavered slightly as she asked, “Do you feel better now?”
“Much,” Spike nodded.

**********************************************************

Buffy came out of the bathroom with fresh make up and saw the commotion at the bar. Fuck.
She dashed up to Riley, Spike and Willow.
“I’m sorry,” Willow squeaked.
Buffy sighed heavily at Willow and nodded before turning a burning glare on Spike, “How dare you think you can just come back and automatically rule my life! You hit my fucking boyfriend!”
“He’s not your boyfriend!” Spike yelled right back, “He doesn’t love you like I do!”
“Well I hate you!”
That was it for them both. Spike grabbed her by the arm roughly and dragged her out of the club and out into the alley with Buffy struggling to get her arm free. Colorful curses slipped from both of their lips. What a couple they made.
He pushed her up against the alley wall, his lips hovering centimeters over hers.
Her breath was caught in her throat as she half-heartily tried to push him off, “Spike please. Let me go.”
He rubbed his growing erection up against her, “Is that what you really want kitten?”
Buffy whimpered but continued to struggle. She couldn’t give up this easily. He’d ruin her.
“Yes,” she said, it coming out way to breathy than she wanted.
Her body was betraying her and her mind was starting to turn on her to.
She wanted him more than anything at the moment. She was dripping wet and all he’d done was rub up against her. She’d always liked it rough, “Spike please…”
“Please what?” he smirked as he started to lick at her neck.
“Please fuck me,” she whimpered sounding weak. She knew it was the way he liked her.
“Oh don’t worry baby,” he whispered, “I’m gonna fuck you so hard you aren't going to be able to walk for weeks.”
She moaned loudly and nodded. It was what she wanted but never what was good for her. They would never be the same thing.
She unbuckled his belt while he pushed up her skirt.
Her underwear wear violently ripped off her body and pocketed for his future masturbatory use.
Now that there was nothing in his way, Spike slid home roughly. No foreplay, just hardcore fucking.
He pounded into her with out a care in the world. All he cared about was being in her again. It was heaven.
Buffy felt like a slut. She wanted this. How sick was that? She wanted to be fucked by a coke addict in a dirty alley way. But it felt so good. At that moment that was all that mattered. For the moment being the key statement.
“Ooooooooooh Spppiiiikkkkeee!!!!!!!” Buffy wailed out in release. She was so loud she was certain they all heard her in The Bronze.
Spike soon followed babbling, “God Buffy I love you so much. So bloody much. Never leave me. I love you….”
As Buffy came down from her orgasm, the world came back down to.
She had just fucked Spike in an alley.
She immediately felt dirty.
She’d cheated on Riley. She was going to end up hurting him. Well fuck.
Buffy pushed Spike off of her. He looked at her with hurt in his eyes.
What a sight the two blondes made. Her skirt pushed up and her hair in every which way with him still hanging out of his open fly.
Buffy pulled down her skirt and looked at him. She couldn’t let her true feelings for him come through. It would kill her, “Thanks for the dance Spike. It was fun.”
She was about to walk away when he grabbed her angrily, “You think that this was just a one time thing Buffy? You have another bloody thing comin to you! I love you and no matter how much you deny it, you love me!”
Buffy let out a cruel snort, “Yeah right Spike. Don’t you get it? You're beneath me now,”
She didn’t know where these nasty things were coming from. She instantly wished she could take it back but she couldn’t.
Spike couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He was beneath her? Did the fucking bitch think that three years could change ones entire past? Like hell it could, “You can try and block out what you used to be Buffy but it’s never going to go away. I was right before. Once a coke whore, always a coke whore.”
The words cut her deep. She wanted nothing more than to erase it all but she couldn’t. Maybe she was a coke whore.
Tears shone in Buffy’s eyes, “Fuck you Spike.”
“You already did,” he smirked to hide the hurt the best he could.
With those last words, they went their separate ways, both regretting the things they’d said.

**********************************************************

Buffy entered her house thanking the high heavens her mother was already in bed. She slowly crawled up the stairs into her bedroom and collapsed down her bed.
That’s when the tears came. A sharp sob tore through her, almost splitting her in two. She couldn’t take it anymore. It all used to be so simple. Fuck, drink and snort. Now it was all so complicated.
She spared a glace at her phone and took a deep breath.
She grabbed it and dialed a once familiar number.
It rang a few times before it picked up.
“Hello?” a recognizable male voice answered.
“Nate?” Buffy replied, “It’s Buffy.”
“Buffy!” Nate smiled, “I heard you were in rehab.”
Buffy sighed, “Let’s cut the small talk Nate. I need you to hook me up.”
Nate sighed heavily, “Welcome back Buffy. I got a man down in Sunnyhell. The prices are the same for you. Meet him outside of Sunnydale Liquors in an hour.”
Buffy nodded in thanks, “Thanks Nate. I’ll be seein ya.”
“Okay,” Nate nodded back, “Give me a call next time you need some.”
Buffy didn’t reply. She’d already hung up.
If Spike thought that she was nothing more than a coke whore than that was exactly what she was going to be.

If you wanna hang out, you've gotta take her out: Cocaine
If you wanna get down, get down on the ground: Cocaine

She's alright,
She's alright,
She's alright,
Cocaine

If you got that lose, you wanna kick them blues: Cocaine
When your day is done, and you wanna ride on Cocaine

She's alright,
She's alright,
She's alright,
Cocaine

If your day is gone, and you wanna ride on: Cocaine
Don't forget this fact: You can't get it back: Cocaine

She's alright,
She's alright,
She's alright,
Cocaine

She's alright,
She's alright,
She's alright,
Cocaine





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