When Buffy wasn't in school or at a photo shoot, she was in Spike's bed enjoying the pleasures of his gorgeous body. Both were in heaven. Spike felt a passion for the Slayer that went far beyond what he ever felt for Drucilla. The sex they had together was unlike anything he'd ever experienced. He couldn't get enough of her, counting down the hours to when she'd be in his arms again.

He went downstairs to his cellar to pick out a good wine. Buffy would be there in a matter of minutes and he wanted everything to be ready.

Buffy knocked on the door but no one answered. Perhaps he'd gone out for a few minutes. She pushed on it and to her surprise it swung open. She stood in the entrance for a moment, not sure what to do.

"Spike? Are you home?" she yelled out but got no answer. She decided to wait for him in his bedroom. She'd surprise him alright. She went down the hall into the back bedroom and stripped down to her sexy underwear, then she laid back on the bed and struck a pose that would make him drool. Several minutes went by and she found her eyes drawn to a closet towards the back she'd never seen him open. 'That must be where he keeps all of his DVDs' she thought to herself. Curious about what kinds of movies Spike had, she slid off the bed and made her way towards the closet. What if he had movies like "My Best Friends Wedding" or "A Walk to Remember," she giggled to herself. That would be just too funny. She opened the door and peeked inside. Instead of DVDs she saw shelf after shelf of digital tapes, each box was labeled with a name. A woman's name.

"Oh god," Buffy said backing up in horror. "Oh god oh god oh god."

"Buffy," Spike spoke from the doorway where he stood with a bottle of wine and two glasses. Buffy jumped at the sound of his voice and looked at him with fear.
Spike saw the terror in her eyes and in that instant his heart broke. He'd forgotten about the tapes. Why hadn't he gotten rid of them? He knew what she was thinking and there was very little he could say to defend himself. He sank down into a nearby chair, dropping the glasses to the floor.

"So let me guess. Each one of these tapes shows you fucking and killing some woman," she said quietly, her voice cracking with emotion.

"There are a few men in there too, actually," Spike sneered at her. It was too late to try and explain. 'All was lost' he thought to himself angrily as he looked at the Slayer before him dressed in her pretty underwear. He'd never get to kiss that beautiful mouth ever again.

"You're disgusting. I can't believe I ever touched you," Buffy yelled, grabbing her clothes and putting them back on. He was gazing at her body with longing and she felt a wave of self loathing wash over her.

"You've always known exactly what I am Slayer. I've never tried to pretend I'm any kind of saint! I stopped making those tapes the day I first made love to you," Spike yelled getting to his feet. He had to at least try. He loved her so much he couldn't bare to watch as she coved her beautiful little body back up with clothes. He needed her. Didn't she understand that? How much he needed her.

"But you continued to kill, didn't you?" Buffy screamed. How could she have been so foolish to get involved with such a monster. What was she thinking?

"Yes, but I stopped having sex with them. There was only you." He sank back into the chair and looked at her with so much love that Buffy felt herself softening for a moment until she glanced back to the closet and saw the rows of tapes and her anger flared once again. So much death. He had to be stopped. She turned back to face him. Her voice was cold.

"You'll get that fight to the death now Spike. Tomorrow night in the graveyard where we first met," she said, her voice cracking as she thought about that night and how it had changed the course of her entire life.

"I don't want to kill you anymore Buffy. I'm in love with you," Spike pleaded. He had tears in his eyes. Buffy couldn't look at him.

"Fine, then I'll kill you." She grabbed her bag and stalked towards the bedroom door.

"But I can turn you," he said so softly she almost didn't hear him.

"What did you say?" She whipped around to face him.

"The only way I can kill you, Buffy, is if I turn you. I've never turned anyone before, but I...I want you with me," He move towards her, reaching out a pale, trembling hand. He needed to touch her. Why had he let himself fall so hard?

"Don't come any closer," she threatened, stepping back. "You'll never get the chance to turn me Spike," she hissed over her shoulder.

"I guess you're finally ready." He looked at her with a sad smile.

"What?" Buffy asked confused.

"You're finally ready. I can see it in your eyes. You're so strong Slayer. Not the broken little girl I came across three months ago. It will be a good fight," he said quietly, turning away from her so he didn't have to watch her leave.

"It better be good Spike, because it'll be your last." She walked down the hall and out of his house. Everything felt surreal, like she was in a dream. 'This can't be happening,' she thought to herself as she opened the door to her car and collapsed into the drivers seat.

As soon as she closed the door of her apartment, Buffy sank to the floor sobbing. She cried her heart out, knowing she had to get through this incredible pain if she was going to be able to kill him. But how? How was she going to do this when she loved him? How could she love such a vicious animal? She pictured the hundreds of tapes in his closet. That was only the tip of the iceberg.

He was right, she was incredibly strong now. But only because of him.





You must login (register) to review.