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Chapter 14

"Anne, get a move on! You got tables backing up!" The grease covered cook-slash-owner barked out at her. The shout broke Buffy from her daydream. She'd been caught up in watching a young couple enjoying their baby girl while they waited for their order. The food industry was the last place Buffy ever wanted to work, but when you were a runaway with a fake ID and almost no money, you took whatever would put food on your table. This job was barely doing that. She pretty much lived on beans and Top Ramen.

She went back to waiting on the mostly rude customers, but kept watching the couple from the corner of her eye. The smiles and baby talk were almost entrancing. It made her wonder about the ones she'd left behind. What would Michael look like now? Did he have more hair yet? Were Dawn and Spike taking him out to restaurants like this couple? Would they be talking to him and laughing at each gurgled response from him? Was he happy? Would he remember her?

No. Best not to go down that road. She'd done what she'd done for a reason, and it was the best thing to do. They could provide something for him that she would never able to. It was better this way.

"Miss? Do I know you?" The young woman asked her. "Isn't your name Buffy?"

Buffy looked long and hard at the woman. It finally dawned on her that the woman was from Sunnydale. She graduated with Angel. "No, no. My name's Anne. Maybe you just recognize me from here."

"Oh, sorry, I could have sworn you were her," she replied. Her attention was immediately drawn to the child Buffy was so obviously watching. "Her name's Brenna. She's our pride and joy," the woman beamed.

Buffy studied the infant a little more after a quick glance to make sure the boss wasn't watching her again. "She favors you. But I think she has his nose," she noted.

"Thanks, we were very lucky to get a child that looked a little like us. But we would have loved her either way," the woman assured, as she reached out took the hand of the man sharing the booth with her. "I can't imagine what her mother must have gone through to give her up."

Buffy recoiled as if she'd been struck. Intense emotions crossed her face at a rapid speed. Did she know? Did the woman know what she'd done? No, she couldn't. It was coincidence, nothing more. "Um, I, I need to get back to work before I get fired. Sorry to disturb you," Buffy quickly reasoned, her voice overly thick from emotion.

She finished out the shift without glancing at the family again. It helped that the dinner rush was busier than usual. But on her way home, she couldn't keep her thoughts from straying to the couple and what the woman had said. She couldn't stop wondering about her own child. That was when her imagination started running amok. Would they have given Michael away? Did they decide it would be too difficult to keep him? Spike and Dawn would have had school. They would have difficulty now that it was just Giles and he would have had his hands already full. Maybe they had no choice but to give him up. Suddenly she had to know. Had to see them again. Just to make sure. She would stay hidden, and just check on them.

Without stopping by her tiny one room apartment, she headed straight for the bus station and boarded the first bus that passed through Sunnydale.

**********

It had been hell getting things arranged to make sure Michael was cared for, without anyone having to sacrifice school to do so, but they had done it. It certainly helped that Spike had graduated this year, giving him the summer to care for the boy. He and Giles did their best to shoo Dawn out of the house as often as possible. They wanted to make sure she didn't get so wrapped up in caring for her nephew that she gave up her own life in doing so. There were other problems, like signing for care and shots. However, Dawn had come to the rescue on that front, with a mysterious talent for signing Buffy's signature flawlessly.

Some days it was harder than others for him to forgive Buffy. Spike wasn't entirely sure that he had. On one hand, he'd understood to some degree. On the other, he was completely pissed at her for running off like that without even giving them the chance to talk to her. But then there were days like today, when he just felt really sad for her and everything she was missing.

They were lying on a blanket on the front lawn. Michael was on his stomach, and had scooted to the edge of the blanket in a fervent attempt to try and eat a few blades of the grass. Michael babbled out something as he finally captured a hand full of grass and attempted to force it into his mouth. Spike laughed at him and pulled him back to the center of the blanket, before extracting the grass, much to the child's dismay. But Michael quickly set about heading for the edge once again.

That was when Spike got an odd feeling of being watched. Not unusual, considering they were in the front yard, but it seemed a little different somehow. He sat up and gave a hard look around, when a quick movement caught his eye across the road and a couple of houses down. He could've sworn... No, that was just his imagination. She'd left them all. And knowing how stubborn she was, he didn't doubt for a moment that she wasn't coming back.

He returned to playing with Michael, but kept an eye on the area just in case. After a few minutes, he was rewarded when an all too familiar form stepped out from behind a hedge again. This time, he whipped his head around just in time to catch his watcher off guard. Even across the distance, he knew it was her. Suddenly something in him snapped. He felt his body flush in anger. As she stood there momentarily stunned, he snatched up Michael and the blanket and stormed inside the house. He slammed the door so hard that is shook the windows and startled Michael, who protested with a loud wail.

A second later he thought perhaps he should go back out and try to find her, but then thought better of it. He had no doubt she was now long gone. But at least she had been there. Spike could have kicked himself for responding like that, and again for upsetting Michael. As he bounced the baby to calm him, his mind started wondering. What was she doing here? Had she been here all along? As Spike settled himself on the couch, he debated what to do. It only took a moment to realize that there wasn't anything to be done. Buffy would only be found when she was ready to be found. He just wished he knew when that would be.

**********

Why had she stayed there so long? She should've just left once she saw them. But she'd gotten wrapped up in watching Michael as he pushed himself around on the blanket. The image was frozen inside her head. The baby playing with something at the edge of the blanket. Spike's contented smile as he watched Michael. Spike laughing at the child's antics. The way the sun shone down on them, the mottled shade from the tree casting strange shadows on them. It was almost surreal.

And then Spike and his darn sixth sense had caught her. She'd made a dash for her hiding spot the first time. She should have counted herself lucky and just left it at that. But no, she had to have one more peek. Then he'd without a doubt seen her. It was if he had been waiting for her to pop out. It had shocked her and she'd not been able to get her brain to cooperate at that moment and tell her what to do. That is, until Spike had scooped everything up and gone inside. Even from a couple of houses away, she didn't need his weird senses to tell her he was angry. It was just as well. She'd gotten what she came for. They were happy. They were content. She'd done the right thing.

So then why did it feel so bad? And what did she do now. On the bus ride there she had pondered that question. She certainly didn't have a big future in being a waitress at that dump she'd been working in. She didn't even have a job anymore since she'd failed to show up this morning. She had exactly $250 dollars in the form of her paycheck. That would get her a room at that roach motel on the highway. She still had the ID on her. Maybe she could find another job here. Maybe even start college this fall.
If she remembered correctly the college would take her with the GED she'd taken in LA. If she could swing some financial aid, and keep living on beans and ramen, she could just about manage it. Maybe she could even convince the bank to give her access to the fund her parents had started. Thank goodness dad had it deducted out of his check each payday. It was about the only thing he'd even done right since her mom died. And her grades had been good up until the accident. Maybe she could still finagle a bit of scholarship or grant money. It wasn't the greatest plan, but it was a plan none-the-less. With that in mind, she set off for her new home, The Sunnydale Arms.

**********

"Buffy was here today," Spike began tentatively over dinner. Spike glanced up to see Giles looking at him as like he was insane, and Dawn so angry that he was certain she would combust at any moment. Finally, Dawn set her fork down so carefully that it was obviously taking every ounce of effort she had not to throw it across the room. Then she got up without saying a word and stomped her way through the living room, up the stairs, and down the hall. The loud pop of her door slamming sounded a second later. He had to hand it to her, she was getting better. The first couple of months they couldn't even mention Buffy's name without Dawn giving them a screaming tirade against her sister. With a sigh, Giles looked earnestly at his son, his expression silently urging Spike to continue.

"She was watching from down the street. Didn't get close enough to say anything," he clarified.

"And you didn't stop her?" Giles asked with obvious incredulity.

"Didn't go after her so much as, um, well... storm back into the house," Spike mumbled.

"You what?!" Giles shouted.

"She didn't want to be seen. It's pretty clear she's not ready to come back," Spike justified himself.

"Spike, you have no idea why she was here. She may be in trouble, or hurt, or any number of things. I can't believe you of all people would be so cold," Giles fumed, throwing his napkin into his plate as he stood. "I'm going out to find her. She needs to know that *someone* gives a damn."

"You won't find her," Spike whispered out, once again mentally kicking himself. Could he have buggered this anymore? Did they all think he didn't give a damn? He was certain that father did, at least at the moment. He was pretty sure Buffy did as well. But it couldn't be farther from the truth. That's why it still hurt so much.

**********

The beauty of Uni was that you could get classes that were actually useful right along with the useless ones. You could take almost anything you wanted, as long as you took a few of the majors as well. After much consideration, Spike had chosen a couple of mechanics classes and a poetry class. The birds had practically flocked to him, seeing as how the only other testosterone in the class belonged to a fellow that he wasn't sure had an overly large supply of it to begin with. It amazed him that more guys didn't take poetry.

It was almost midterms when he spotted Buffy again. She'd been in the cafeteria. She was looking very lost, and he was almost tempted to confront her when suddenly that prat Parker came up behind her and started chatting her up. That set him in motion. He was determined to rescue her, when he was suddenly frozen in his tracks by what she did next. Buffy smiled so sweetly up at Parker, and he could have sworn she just batted her eyes. Then she let out a little giggle. For a moment he considered that she didn't know what Parker was like and then a small realization dawned on him. She was flirting with him. From the little smile, down to the hand that had settled on Parker's arm, to the way her, holy mother of...was that her tongue he saw dart out to lick her lips? She was actually backing Parker up now and the git was totally mesmerized.

Spike found that he suddenly couldn't move, as he watched in mute shock while Buffy leaned up and whispered something to the boy. A little grin crossed Parkers face before he nodded in agreement to whatever she'd said. Then the pair simply left their trays on the line and left the cafeteria, leaving Spike to wonder just who this Buffy was.

When Spike ran into her again, it was a few days later. She and Parker were in the quad, and the idiot was chasing after her like a puppy, while Buffy continued to ignore him as she chatted up another bloke, that guy who TA'd for that weird Psych professor. With much fascination, Spike listened as Parker asked if he'd done something wrong, if they could get together later. But when Buffy blew him off, he began shouting things that made Spike want to hunt him down and give him a good beating.

Spike wasn't sure what made him do it, but when the rest of the students cleared out and Buffy was left standing alone with her arms wrapped around her torso, he stepped out from his spot and right into her line of sight.

"Aw, did the big college boy hurt little Buffy's feelings? What's the matter, did he seduce you into bed and then decide to move on to the next willing airhead? Give you the big 'I'm so sensitive' line?" Spike asked as he sauntered up to her.

Buffy looked momentarily stunned, but only momentarily. Suddenly she took on an entirely different air. One he was totally unfamiliar with, coming from her. Even her features almost seemed to change as she began walking toward him. No, walking wasn't the right word for it, more like stalking. She practically oozed with a feline grace. This girl... no, this woman... was a predator. There was no other word for it.

As he stood entranced in the fire promised by her eyes, he suddenly found that Buffy wasn't walking toward him anymore. She was there. In front of him. Barely even separate from him, and one dainty hand was pulling his head down to her own. He found himself completely unable to resist as she leaned her lips in toward him. His eyes rolled closed of their own volition as he felt her breath whisper against his ear...

"I seduced him."

His brain finally processed that information after a second. His eyes popped open as he jerked back from this person who looked a lot like Buffy. But it couldn't be her. He was met with a short burst of laughter as this stranger left him standing alone in the quad, his mouth agape, his brow clearly creased with confusion. Alone to contemplate this new hardened version of the girl who stole his heart so long ago.






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