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"So Andrew, have you been out with that Buffy girl yet?"

The mention of Buffy's name caught Spike's attention as he was setting in for his poetry class. He tried his best to listen closely without actually appearing to do so. Sunnydale may not be the smallest of towns, but the rumors still circulated like one, and he had no idea how much people knew about his involvement with the girl who happened to be current hot topic.

"Who me?" Andrew squeaked out, looking a bit panicked that he was even being addressed. The poor kid usually did his best to fade into the background. After a second's pause and a few affirmations from the young women surrounding him, he finally stammered out his response. "W... well, that is, I... I, um.... I turned her down! Yeah, I turned her down. You know, can't be too careful around girls like that."

Despite the anger that threatened to bubble up and make him rip into them, Spike settled for rolling his eyes in annoyance. He wasn't sure who the butt of this joke was, Buffy and the implications of her being prowess, or Andrew and the implication that he was less than a man because hadn't been approached by her, probably both. He really despised these girls and their petty games. As best he could tell, Buffy's reputation had actually gotten ahead of her and was bordering on the ridiculously impossible.

"What about you, Spike?" One of the girls asked, drawing him out of his thoughts.

"Hmm? Me? No, I've never dated her," he answered honestly. This earned him a round of giggles from the gossip hens, and a relieved looking Andrew.

"That's not what we were asking, Spike, and you know it!" One girl grinned conspiratorially.

He looked around at the faces that were eagerly hoping to garner their latest juicy tidbit from his response. How could he answer them and not make either himself or Buffy look bad?

"Ahhh, so that's your game is it? What's the matter ladies, worried there's not enough of Big Bad Spike to go around?" Sure, he knew what they wanted. But he sure as hell wasn't going to give it to them. Spike leaned towards the group and started sending his most lascivious grin to each one in turn. "Well, not to worry. I assure you that once ole Spike sets his sights, no needs will ever go… unmet," He finished, curling his tongue in front of his teeth. It was that look that absolutely never failed to turn a girl into pure putty. He was only momentarily surprised when his gaze got around to Andrew, and the boy held the same look of mindless drool as the women surrounding him. Spike laughed in genuine amusement as Andrew suddenly became aware he'd been caught and started blushing and quickly opened his book.

Thankfully, the discussion was interrupted with a polite cough from the professor. "I trust you are all discussing today's topic. So, who would like to begin by telling me the significance of Sappho's writings and it's parallels with modern poetry?"

**********

He couldn't help it. The laugh caught him off guard and pulled him toward her. It was a sound he knew, and yet he hadn't heard it nearly enough. His feet carried him toward the sound without his permission. He had better things to do than spy on Buffy, but he couldn't seem to make his body understand that. He watched from a respectable distance as she talked to that big idiot from Psych 101. What was his name? Robert, Richard, Reese, Riley...that was it, Riley!

There it was again. Buffy's little laugh, yet somehow it seemed off. The more he watched her, the more he noticed that this wasn't really Buffy. She was smiling and nodding in rapt attention of everything the behemoth said, but the emotion wasn't reaching the rest of her. Her mouth was laughing, but her body was held in indifference. The closer he got, the more he could see that her eyes were simply cold and endless pits of. nothing. That bothered him. A lot.

A lot of things could have been said of Buffy over the years he'd known her, but phony was not one of them. Even after the car wreck, she hadn't tried to put on a show of being fine. This girl in front of him was putting up a major front, and the stupid git was buying it hook, line, and sinker. This girl in front of him wasn't feeling anything, and the psychology guru didn't even notice anything amiss.

Then something really interesting happened. She changed. Her eyes suddenly had a spark of something in them. Her body came to attention. In Riley's mid-sentence, Buffy leaned forward and planted a very hungry kiss on his lips. Her hands wondered up to his shoulders, and Riley started to respond to her kiss by deepening it. The whole display made him want to vomit and possibly rip someone's head off. Just as Spike was about to turn away and storm off in his usual manner, he noticed one of Riley's friends came jogging up, interrupting the couple, telling Riley that Dr. Walsh wanted to see him ASAP.

Thinking the show to be over with Riley's departure, Spike again started to leave, then things got interesting yet again when he overheard the guy speak to Buffy and in a way that garnered Spike's undivided attention.

"Leave him alone, Buffy," Forrest told Buffy in no uncertain terms.

"What?" Buffy asked, confusion obvious in her voice.

"You heard me. Riley doesn't need someone like you."

"Someone like me," Buffy parroted unbelievingly.

"Riley's a good guy. He doesn't need you coming in and tearing him down. The only thing you're going to end up doing is hurting him, and I can't sit by and watch that happen."

"How would I..." Buffy started.

"Look, Riley may be able to overlook you and your history, but not me. I know exactly what you are. So leave. Him. Alone," Forrest finished as he backed away, then turned and left. Buffy sat stunned. She wrapped her arms around herself and remained in that position as the quad emptied of everyone else.

Now Spike was torn. Should he chase down big and ugly? Should he just leave? Buffy wouldn't want his interference, but she didn't deserve that. She certainly didn't deserve what she was probably doing to herself right now. So, after cursing himself once more, he made his way to the bench she was sitting at.

"Stupid jerk was wrong you know," Spike said as he sat next to her. "Hasn't got a clue about who or what you are. None of them do."

Buffy's head popped up, and she peered at him for a second before she started shutting down. He could see it happening, until finally she just glanced off into the distance. Her expression now blank.

"My day is now complete. Here I was, thinking maybe a nice root canal would round it out, but a visit from you is much better."

"Funny as that was, I'm not feeling the love here," Spike wryly responded.

"You've lost your touch Spike. You used to be able to annoy me without trying so hard," Buffy informed him.

"Yeah, well you used to actually have emotions, instead of just acting like it," Spike retorted.

Buffy didn't seem to know what to say to that. Her mouth fished open and closed a few times, until she finally stopped and turned away from him.

"Was watching you talk to that Riley bloke. He has no idea, you know?" Spike told her, more statement than actual question. "He'll figure it out eventually though. Surely the guy can't be that dense."

"He's what I need right now," She tried to justify.

"No, you don't need him," Spike insisted. "You want him. There's a big difference. You want him because he's safe. You don't have to risk a thing. He buys into this little act you've got going, so you don't have to show him the real you behind the mask. "

Buffy seemed to contemplate that for a moment. "Is that so wrong?"

"Yeah, it is. Because eventually you'll want to feel, and you won't remember how. Not to mention, when he does suss it all out, he won't understand and he'll leave."

"Like everyone else did," Buffy mumbled.

"Looks like I'm still here," Spike pointed out, earning him a long and studying look from Buffy.

"Why?" She asked.

"Because I..." Holy crap, this isn't where he wanted this to go. She wasn't ready to hear the answer to that question. So, he didn't finish answering it. Instead, he picked at the hem of his t-shirt.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" There was genuine curiosity in her eyes.

Suddenly his world turned red. "Are you serious? I tried to tell you in almost every way I could think of!" Spike nearly shouted, as he stood up and faced her.

"Except coming out and saying the actual words," Buffy supplied.

"Well, yes, but... no!" If he didn't get out of here now, things were going to be said that couldn't be taken back. In his never-ending frustration, Spike let a very angry growl escape him. "Look, never mind. You go on back to playing your little games, and I'll go back to getting on with my life." Spike spun around, and started to stalk away.

"Spike, wait!" Buffy pleaded as she got up and followed him.

Spike stopped, and cursed his stupid feet for their traitorous action. He turned around, exasperated beyond all reason. "Look, forget I said anything." He looked into her eyes as he said it, and that was his undoing.

There was something there. The same thing he'd seen earlier on the bench when she'd "changed". As she got closer, he could make it out. It was a hunger. A desperation. A need. But a need for what, he wasn't sure.

"I just," She started, then paused as if unsure what to say. But her steps continued to bring her closer to him. "I just want to feel something," she finally whispered out as she stopped in front of him. Her hands took hold of his face, and pulled him slowly towards her own.

His eyes squeezed shut as his emotions warred within him. Love, desire, anger, desperation, elation, all tore through him, but the strongest one was doubt.

"Buffy...." He urgently tried to plea. But it was a faint whisper. Before he could finish his cry of 'Not like this!' her lips were upon his. Her sweet mouth crushing to his. Insisting… taking… wanting more. It felt like she was trying to pull his very soul from him by way of a kiss.

And all he could think was that he'd gladly give it to her.





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