His chest was going to burst open any moment. Not because of that whole sappy 'oxygen becoming an issue' thing, but because his heart was ready to explode at this rate, if it didn't stop all together that is. Then there was the sensation of his whole stomach riding up into his chest, making him feel like he would puke at any moment. Wait, that last one didn't seem right. He shouldn't he be feeling that should he? At that point, his brain re-established its communications with his body. His hands ceased to hold Buffy to him, and instead pushed her back to arms length.

Buffy, on the other hand, had different ideas. She pulled him back in to resume where they'd left off. His body tried to override his brain once more, but he managed to peel her away.

"Buffy, stop!"

He realized he probably could've said that a little less harshly when Buffy jerked back as if she'd been slapped. At first, she appeared to be angry, or maybe hurt, but that quickly changed to a look of horror. Was kissing him that bad? Apparently for her it was. He quickly stopped that line of thought, and tried to piece together what had happened exactly. Time was not on his side however, as Buffy began struggling to get away from him. Determined to not let her run this time, Spike pulled her to his chest and encompassed her in a tight hug. She continued to struggle, but it felt mostly token to him. In an effort to calm her down, he began stroking her hair and murmuring comforting noises.

"Shh, not going to hurt you. Calm down, it's ok. I'm not letting you go until you settle down."

After a minute or two, it started to work. She was outwardly calming, but he could feel the warm moisture of her tears through his shirt.

"See there, pet. You can still feel. It may hurt like a bitch, but it's better than nothing, yeah?"

Apparently he was full of wrong things to say tonight, because after a second to process his words Buffy became stiff as a board and the nearly silent sobs came to an abrupt halt. Funny, usually he was the one who always knew what to say to her, but not tonight. Buffy pushed against him with every ounce of strength she had, sending him flailing backward, tumbling right onto his arse. That look of righteous anger she was sporting didn't bode well for him either.

"It is *not* better!" Buffy bit out. "I didn't want to feel that!"

"Then what the bloody hell were you trying to do? 'Cause honestly, I'm getting some mixed signals here," Spike said, picking himself up of the ground. "You tell me to shove off, then you tell me you want to feel and try to practically crawl inside my skin, and then you knock me on my arse when I try to slow things down and get my head together!" Spike said, shouting at her, despite the fact that he had brought them nose to nose with a few steps.

"Forget it Spike. You wouldn't understand," Buffy said softly, as she turned a looked away.

"Then explain it to me," Spike pleaded. He was losing ground fast, though. She was shutting off again. In a desperate move, he cupped her face and leaned in to place one more kiss. It wasn't his best plan ever, but it was a plan none-the-less. Unfortunately, it didn't work. Buffy's palm gently pushed him away. When he tried to read her expression, what he found almost wrenched his heart from him yet again. It was an apology.

"You were wrong Spike, I do need Riley. Because this Buffy, is the only one left."

Spike watched as she went back to the bench and gathered her books, once again leaving him standing alone in the quad. She never heard the last words as he watched her walk away.

"You're wrong."

**********

Spike avoided the quad for the next few days. He was pretty certain that Buffy would be avoiding him as well, but a little insurance wouldn't hurt. Unfortunately, today was just one of those days that everything seemed to go wrong. Giles had approached him again and asked if he'd seen Buffy anymore. Of course, he'd already been running late, so Giles insistence to speak to him cost him dearly. He felt really bad about keeping his dad out of the loop, but he was dead sure that if Buffy were pushed too far she would pull another runner and might never be seen again.

So here he was, cutting through the quad, trying to get to his class on time. Naturally, Buffy was there. It was his lucky day after all. Not! She was talking to some other girl and looked very in to the discussion. He could probably slide by without her noticing him at all.

He could see the approaching disaster before it happened. It was like watching a car crash. Seeing everything collide and you know it's going to be bad, but you're powerless to stop it. That's exactly what this felt like, and he was still too far away to intervene. Buffy was lost in her conversation, while that idiot Riley was sneaking up behind her. Riley brought a hand up to tell whomever the girl was that Buffy was talking to, to stay quiet. The trap was complete, and Riley displayed his complete lack of a brain by grinning like an idiot as he took the final step and grabbed Buffy from behind.

The resulting scream pierced through the low hum of student activity, and brought everything and everyone to a stand still. Except Buffy.

In the space of less than five seconds, she effectively neutralized the perceived threat. Her foot crunched down on top of Riley's. Then she did something he couldn't see that caused Riley to turn loose of her arms in an attempt to cradle his crotch. That left him wide open to her elbow that was thrown back with enough force to bruise or possibly crack a rib or two had they been there. Too bad for Riley, his automatic reaction to the pain stimulus put his face at the perfect height instead. As he stumbled back a step in pain and protection, Buffy executed an even more painful looking kick to his knee, which brought him completely down.

To compound the situation and take it from bad to worse, two other things happened in rapid succession. The girl Buffy had been talking to, started to try and restrain Buffy. Forrest jumped in between Buffy and her target, which seemed to startle her back to conscious thought. There was no way this could end well. Spike dropped his books and took off at a dead run.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Forrest shouted.

"I...oh god, Riley?" Buffy stammered.

"Leave him alone psycho bitch! You and your damn issues!" Forrest started towards Buffy, who started trying to shrink away. "I told you, didn't I?!"

"Leave off you berk!" Spike shouted as he jumped in between Buffy and Forrest. "She didn't know it was him!"

"Well she sure as hell didn't bother to find out, did she?" Forrest replied, putting his imposing form closer to Spike, who failed to show any signs that he was intimidated.

"Serves him right! What kind of idiot sneaks up behind a woman and grabs her?" Spike started shouting, matching Forrest's volume.

"It was a game! People do it all the time!"

"Not to someone like Buffy!" Spike seethed.

"You mean a psychotic whor..."

Spike's left fist shot out before Forrest could complete the sentence. The punch connected audibly and sent the man reeling. He tripped over Riley, who was still on the ground, looking dazed and confused. Before Forrest could even think to stand, Spike was already above him. Two more punches assured he had his attention.

"You know nothing! You have no clue what that girl has been through, and if I ever see you near her again, I'll rip your throat out! Got it?!"

Forrest didn't nod, but simply glared up at Spike. Threat eliminated, Spike abandoned Forrest to see to Buffy. Damned if today couldn't get any worse. Buffy was sitting on the ground, her knee's hugged up to her. She was rocking slightly, but otherwise her mind seemed lost in space somewhere. He approached her slowly, trying to get her attention as he did so, but didn't get any acknowledgment.

"I think she's in shock," The girl Buffy'd been talking to said. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make things worse."

Spike sighed heavily. "It's ok, you didn't know."

"Is she gonna be ok?"

"I don't know...." Spike looked at the girl whose name he didn't know. She seemed genuinely concerned.

"Tara, my name's Tara. Sorry."

"I don't know, Tara. I hope so," Spike offered. The girl seemed to accept that answer, and left off asking any more questions.

"Buffy?" Spike tried again to get her attention. "Buffy, look at me." That earned him a flash look from her eyes. Good, she was in there. "Buffy, it's ok. You did good. Some damn fine moves you picked up. Think you could teach me?" Another look. "Buffy, you did exactly what you were supposed to." A quick look at Riley. Spike looked behind him, to see how Riley was fairing. The guy must have one or two brain cells, because he looked to be putting the puzzle together. "He'll be right as rain before you know it. Won't try to startle you anymore I'd bet. Buffy, please, talk to me."

Her head came up, but she didn't look at anyone. Her face slowly melted into a gut-wrenching mask of sorrow. "I hurt him," she choked out.

"Buffy, you didn't know it was him. You did nothing wrong," Spike insisted. "I'm actually pretty proud of you," he smiled. Buffy glanced up with clear confusion, but it quickly faded to what he recognized as hope. "Come on; let's get you home," he said as he scooped her up without protest. As he walked away with his bundle, he paused as he walked by Riley.

"You gonna be ok?" Spike asked. Riley nodded an affirmation. Spike resumed walking as he finished addressing Riley, "I recommend you think twice next time you feel like being such a bloody pillock."

"No," Buffy spoke.

"No, he shouldn't think twice?" Spike asked, continuing his trek.

"No, you can't take me home," she clarified.

"Buffy, I'm not leaving you alone like this," Spike firmly insisted.

"Then stay with me," Buffy suggested softly, bringing Spike to a screeching halt.

"Buffy... I don't know if that's..." Spike hedged.

"Please? Just... stay?"

How could he refuse her? He agreed to her simple request. This he could do. He was good at picking up the pieces.





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