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“Okaaay, what the heck just happened here?” Riley’s voice broke the silence that followed the sound of the door latching shut.

“Buffy?” He said, coming the rest of the way around the bed until he was face to face with her. “You still with me, here?”

“Oh, God…” was all she could say.

‘Yeah, you keep saying that. Are you planning on finishing that sentence and then, maybe, I don’t know, moving on to another one?” He plastered on a hopeful smile.

She stared at Riley for a long time as she contemplated what to say. She was at a loss just then. She kind of assumed that epiphany’s had that effect on people. Riley must have understood that on some level, because his smile turned from hopeful to accepting as he nodded.

“You *didn’t* know.” It was a statement of fact. “And… now you do.” Also a statement. “Well, that was… unexpected.”

He moved to the chair Spike had occupied minutes before.

“Ok, so, not exactly the breakthrough I had hoped for tonight, but I guess it’s… something.”

Boy, was that an understatement. And led to a question of its own.

“Why?” She looked at him. Why had he done it? Pushed them to this point?

“Why is it something?” Riley’s confusion was apparent in his wrinkled forehead.

“Why did you make him say that?”

“Is that what you really want to know?” He countered her question with another.

“Yes?” She answered and asked at the same time. “Maybe?”

He smiled.

“You mean, why would I try to get my girlfriend and another guy to admit they were in love with each other?”

She nodded. Then decided that was only part of it.

“Why did you come here today?” Resolve was creeping its way back into her voice.

“Which one do you want me to answer first?” He grinned.

“Both.” That got a little chuckle from him.

“You don’t ask much, do you?” He laughed again.

“Honestly?” He began. “I came here because I wanted to help you. After the other night, I went looking for Spike. I guess I thought that maybe he could help me understand what was going on in that head of yours. But all he would tell me was that somehow that whole episode was somehow a good thing… a step in the right direction, I guess.”

He looked at her then. She gave him a look that she hoped would tell him to keep going. After a second, he did.

“Between that and the time you kicked my butt in the quad, I had a suspicion about what you might be dealing with. But I had no idea…” He paused to take a deep breath. “I had no idea…” He paused again. “God, Buffy, I had *no* idea.”

He looked at her. Hard. His eyes held a little bit of what looked like awe. His eyes and that look, it was almost like looking at Angel again. She broke the gaze and stared at the floor.

“As for Spike? Well, I think that maybe I was just hoping that if I could get you to break out of what ever had this hold on you, then you could take off the mask and let someone in. Let someone close. Be a part of your life. I was hoping that could be me, but on some level I really knew it wouldn’t be.”

From the corner of her eye, she saw that sad little smile again as he was looking at her.

“Then, when he showed up today, I knew. You didn’t love me. How could you? You were in love with him. And he was drowning in you. Seeing you two… I don’t know, I just… knew.”

His face turned serious, as he sat forward and looked at her in earnest.

“Now, my turn.” He paused a long second. “Are you ready to take your mask off? Let someone in?”

Well, was she? It was a huge risk. What if she let someone in, and then…

“If I do? You have no idea how many times I’ve let someone in, only to… I don’t think I’m meant to be happy.” She whispered out.

“I don’t believe that,” He asserted. She gave a short bark of a laugh.

“If you’d lived my life, you would.”

“Does Spike believe that?”

She really didn’t have to think about the answer to that.

“Spike believes…” How did she end that sentence? Spike believed that she was the strongest person on earth? Spike believed she could bounce back from everything? Spike believed…

“...In you?” Riley finished the sentence for her. It brought the tiniest smile to her.

“Yeah. He always has.”

“Why do you think that is, Buffy?”

She smiled a little more. She didn’t really mean to, but there you go. “Because he loves me.”

And that’s when it hit her. Somehow saying it out loud made it so much more… so much *more*. She felt tears starting to fill her eyes and looked up at Riley.

“He loves me,” emotion began to choke her, threatening to spill out of her. “He loves me… oh God, Riley, he loves me…” Suddenly there were big strong arms around her, holding her and rocking her back and forth as tears rolled down her face. “He loves me.”

Riley continued holding her for a few minutes, then set her back at arm’s length, still holding her firmly, as the tears started to subside a bit.

“And?” Riley prompted.

She stared at him a moment, trying to figure out what he meant, when it dawned on her what he was prompting her for.

“Say it, Buffy,” He urged. “Out loud, Buffy. If you believe it, say it. Make it real. Hear it. Feel it…”

She felt her face crumble as the words forced themselves out of her, as if they had a will of their own.

“I love him.” Great big engulfing sobs started spilling out of her in buckets now, as she gulped for air between breaths, intermixed with a litany of “I love him” repeated over and over.

Riley was holding her again, and soothing her as she finally let the walls crumble away. Just a bit. She hoped it was enough. The question now was… where did she go from here?”





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