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Chapter 46

So it’s true?

Dawn, you may not have noticed, we are in really big trouble. This is no…

Why did you not tell me?

Because you didn’t need to know!

Yes, I do! I need to know! I’m not a kid anymore!

Dawn, I am trying to protect you.

Well you can’t! Look around, Buffy! We’re trapped in here! Willow’s killing and people I love keep dying! And you can not protect me from that!

They just keep coming, I can’t take them all. Dawn… will you help me?

I got your back.

Dawn! I’m coming!

What? You think I never watched you?

I… I think it’s over, Buffy. The world’s still here.

Sorry to disappoint… Wait. Is… is that happy crying?

Yes, dummy! You think I wanted the world to end?

I don’t know… Didn’t you?

Dawn… I am so sorry… I’m sorry…

It’s ok, Buffy… It’s ok…

No, it hasn’t been. It hasn’t been ok... But it’s gonna be now. I see it.

See what?

You. Things have really sucked lately, but that’ all gonna change… and I want to be there when it does. I want to see my friends happy again. I want to see you grow up. The woman you’re gonna become… Because she’s gonna be beautiful. And she’s gonna be powerful. I got it so wrong. I don’t want to protect you from the world… I want to show it to you. There’s so much that I wanna show you.

*************************************************************

It was easier to surface this time. Not nearly as much of a fight. She still felt like she was exhausted and sore and like all of her limbs weighed a ton, but at least she was as exhausted or as sore. She opened her eyes, expecting to find Riley, but the person standing next to her was definitely not Riley. Unless he’s lost a lot of weight and had a sex change.

“‘Bout time you woke up.” Her sister was standing there, staring at her, with her arms crossed. Everything about Dawn practically screamed annoyed and pissed off teenager.

“Sorry. Who knew losing most of your blood could be so exhausting?”

That earned her one of Dawn’s world-famous eye rolls, which brought the smallest smiles to her face. And then suddenly she had her arms full of Dawn hugging the breath out of her.

“You know, if you want attention, there are much better ways to do it,” Dawn’s chiding sounded only half-hearted. “I’ve heard you can even do it without losing a single drop of blood or getting a concussion, or skull fracture, or a broken leg, or…”

“I get it, Dawn,” She interrupted.

“Do you?” Her sister sat up and looked at her seriously. “Really? Seems like you’re pretty convinced otherwise.”

“It’s not exactly like I do it on purpose.” She retorted, only a tiny bit of cattiness in her voice.

“You mean, like leaving in the middle of the night and never calling or writing or telling us you were even alive?” Dawn crossed her arms and put on her best righteous angry look.

Ok, she deserved that.

“Sorry…” Dawn seemed to deflate a bit and put her arms back down to her side. “I’m just really ang…”

“No, you’re right,” She interrupted her. “I did do that, and I shouldn’t have. I was overwhelmed and couldn’t really think about anything, my mind and my heart and my emotions were in such a bad place, and... it took me a long time to really get my head together. Still kind of working on it.”

“Buffy? What happened?”

Whoa boy, she was jumping in there with both feet, wasn’t she? And she sure as heck wasn’t ready to discuss the complexities of her love life with her fourteen-year-old sister.

“It’s complicated.”

“Kind of gathered that. What with you being in here for some mysterious accident and Spike being all insano guy.”

“What?” What did that even mean?

“You mean no one’s told you? Huh… I’d have thought at least Riley would have said something. Gotta say… I’m diggin’ the new boyfriend. ” Her sister interest seemed to be piqued, the question was, why? And speaking of…

“Where is Riley?” She was a little more hurt than she cared to admit that he hadn’t been there when she woke up. He’d said he’d be there.

“Oh, when we got here he was like, passed out cold, so Giles told him to go home and get some sleep. But he was all, ‘I told her I’d be here,’ so Giles sent him to grab some food from the nasty cafeteria and then he was still in here when Riley got back, so he sat down in the waiting room and totally crashed. He’s still asleep out there. We didn’t have the heart to wake him up.”

Well, that made her feel a little better. Sort of.

“How long have I been here?”

“Mmm… a couple days and change. They said that they were going to move you to a regular room here in a little while though and that you might even get to go home tomorrow evening if everything looks good. Whatever that means.”

Home. And where was that exactly? She somehow doubted the Sunnydale Arms would be welcoming her back from the sound of things. Which meant she would need to find a new place.

“You’re not coming home. Are you?” He sister was back to being angry.

Home. Could she go back? Should she?

“Good to know where we really stand,” Dawn bit out and turned to leave.

“Dawn, wait!”

The urgency she put into the request made Dawn stop and spin back to face her, with all the fury Dawn could muster pouring off of her.

“Yes.”

“Yes… what, Buffy?”

“Yes. I’ll come home...”

Dawn erupted in a series of squeals and jumps and shouts, which brought the nurse running in, and shortly after Giles, followed by Riley, appeared at the edge of her little room. Once the nurse determined that everything was ok, she reminded everyone that there were other patients and to either remain quiet or leave.

“That is, if… if it’s ok with Giles?” She quietly added.

“Giles, please? Please, please, please, please, please?” Dawn was begging urgently, but quietly.

“And what, precisely, is it you want me to agree to?” Giles asked warily.

“Buffy wants to come home!” Dawn’s voice was creeping up in volume.

Giles looked at her, his look clearly questioning if Dawn’s statement had been correct. Riley, on the other hand, had a worried frown.

“Guys, can you give Riley and me a minute?”

Giles seemed to take that in, and put his arm around Dawn, guiding her, despite her protests, out of the small room.

“You’re upset.” It was more a stated observation, which almost sounded like a question.

“Not exactly sure how I feel,” He answered, looking like he might actually be a little confused and conflicted.

“Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?” She asked, unsure herself.

“You tell me.” He answered.

Was this it? The moment when she told him thanks for everything and sent him on his way? She wasn’t sure she was ready for that.

“I think… that I can’t go back to the hotel. And I need to… reconnect... with my family. But… I’m not ready to not have you here, either?” Ok, so that should have been more statement than question.

Riley seemed to consider that for a while. A long while. So long it was making her uncomfortable and worried.

“I can live with that. For now. But, Buffy? At some point…”

“Yeah. I know. I just…” She stopped. She really didn’t have words to say the right thing at that moment. I would all come out wrong. So she settled on something else instead.

“I don’t think I’ve ever said thank you… for everything… or to say that I’m sorry… for everything…”

“And you’ll never have to…” He smiled.

She swiped at a tear that threatened to spill.

“I’ll go get the others,” Riley offered.

Moments later, he returned with Giles and Dawn in tow.

“Giles… I think… I think that I’m ready to come home… if you’ll let me?” She asked.

He paused a moment, then let out a breath she hadn’t realized he’d been holding. He quickly stepped forward and leaned down to hold her gently in his arms.

“Of course, you silly girl. I can think of nothing better.”

And then Dawn was there again, hugging both of them.

She chanced a glance a Riley. He was still standing near the doorway, a facsimile of a genuine smile covering his face. However, in her heart, she knew… it was a smile that signaled the beginning of an ending, and honestly, one that was going to hurt more than she wanted to admit.





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