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Chapter 53

She wanted to be his… forever.

After several seconds he finally broke off the kiss, realizing he hadn’t really responded.

“Can see where you got lost, luv. You’re not a princess, you’re a bloody Valkyrie.” He kissed her again, deep and long. “Though, now I think about it… story of Rapunzel…”

Her own kiss brought him out of his brief contemplation.

“I like Valkyrie better,” She broke the kiss and whispered, a mere breath away from his lips, as her eyes whispered promises of glory in the afterlife.

“I can’t promise dragons and steeds, luv, but I promise to do everything in my power to see that you are happy, forever and after.”

“Forever and after,” She repeated, tears welling up in her eyes, accompanying her smile that was shining like the sun. Christ, he was a sap. But, her eyes told him that she’d meant every bit of it. He pressed another kiss to her lips, already deliciously swollen from the last few, and she returned it in kind.

Hands started roaming, needing to be closer than they already were. Wanting to feel the other’s heartbeat, and the electricity of their skin touching.

His brain tried to tell him something important, but he was doing his best to shut it out. When he felt the fiery heat of Buffy’s hand snake into his jeans and seize the base of his prick, his brain finally managed to connect. He broke away with a swallowed gasp, desperately wanting her to continue the exquisite way she was caressing him, but knowing there was something else that was very important. Now, what was it, again?

“Stop!” He said with way more force than he’d intended, but mostly because it was directed at himself, rather than her. He took several panting breaths before he was able to focus. She’d backed away from him and looked ready to pull a runner.

“Sorry, luv. Not you… just… needed to…” Bugger. How was he supposed to say this? Deciding discretion was the better part of valor, he screwed his courage to the sticking place.

“Not that I would ever be anything other than ecstatic, but given your rotten luck with wellies and all, we probably need to postpone this until we’ve got you properly seen to so we don’t end up with any more surprises, yeah?”

She stared at him for several seconds, and for a moment he considered if maybe she was having second thoughts. And then she laughed. He wasn’t sure what to make of that, but he didn’t like being made fun of.

“Mean it, Buffy. Losing you two almost did me in. Need to make sure we don’t have any repeats.” He said more forcefully.

Now she was staring at him with that weird look. Like he’d just confessed his undying love or something. She started walking towards him again, and he backed up each step in measure until she stopped.

“Spike, I’ve been on birth control since a few weeks after. So I am properly seen to. Of course, if you want to see to me yourself…” Her smoldering smile gave new meaning to her words, as they sank into his consciousness. Once they finally filtered through, he matched her smile with his own.

He once again closed the distance, took her face in his hands and kissed her as he’d never kissed her before.

Now, what was he to do? He’d dreamed of this so many times, so many ways, he didn’t even know where to begin. In the back of his head, he recalled having a similar dilemma not too many months ago, but that had been different. She’d caught him off guard and things had gone all pear-shaped in the blink of an eye. He didn’t want a blink of an eye tonight, he wanted to worship her the way she deserved. He wanted to take her as high as heaven itself and never let her come back down.

Her hand was back to its previous position, and just the thought of it being her, touching him for all the right reasons practically had him ready to drop them both right there and shag her until they both collapsed in a mindless heap. But he didn’t want to do that. Well, he did, but not yet.

With reluctance, he grabbed her by the shoulders and gently pushed her back, both of their lips seeming to try and continue to devour the other despite the growing distance until finally, they broke apart.

She looked up at him, a little dazed and confused, with a frown marring her beautiful face.

“Been wanting to do this for so long, want to do this right, luv. Not throw down like a couple of rutting mongrels.”

Her expression softened, acceptance shining there and it made him want to almost scrap the whole idea and let her have her way with him. Almost.

“First things first. You’ve got entirely too many clothes on,” He smirked at her.

She grabbed the hem of her top, ready to pull it over her head, but he stopped her, stilling her movements with his own hands.

“Allow me. A goddess deserves to be worshipped.”

She ducked her head, a bit of red coloring her cheeks.

“What’s this?” He teased her. “Bashful?” He tried to catch her eyes, but she just ducked her head even more. “Buffy? Luv?” He cupped her chin in one hand and then tilted her face to his. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’ve seen ‘bout every bit of you at one time or another. Even locked a few bits together once as I recall.” He smiled at her.

“It’s just… No one’s ever… you know…”

“No one’s ever undressed you?” His mind reeled a little at that thought.

“No, it’s not… it’s just… with the lights…it’s awfully...”

He wavered briefly, taking a moment to interpret her meaning, and then let out a deep sigh as he dropped his forehead to rest on hers.

“You don’t have to.” He silently cursed every bloody pillock that’d ever touched her. None of them had worshipped her the way she deserved. Shown her just how exquisite and ravishing her beauty really was. “But one day, I want to show you just how beautiful you are, Buffy. Put all others to shame, you do.”

She gave him a curious look then, and studied his face for several seconds before giving him a tepid nod and stepped back, her hands falling to her side and looking a bit off to one side.

“Show me?” She said, still not quite look at him.

“Is that a question or an answer?” He asked her.

“A nervous answer?” She still sounded uncertain.

“Buffy, I can and will wait until the seas boil and the sun turns cold if need be. But I’ll not push you to do anything you’re not wanting or ready for.”

She looked up at him again, a look of awe on her face that he would swear made his heart try to break through his chest.

“Unless you want me to push, that is,” He smirked.

She relaxed and gave him her own little smirk, and the tension seemed to fall away from her.

“Deal,” She replied. “Now, you want to do the honors or should I?” She held out the hem of her shirt towards him.

He didn’t need to be told twice! He reached down and slowly pulled her top over her head, revealing inch by delicious inch her glorious skin. It had lost the sun-baked glow it had when she was younger, but the lighter color suited her just as well. Next, he set about removing her jeans, their contour followed her hips and clung to her legs as he slid them down each thigh, gingerly cupping behind first one knee and then the other as they surrendered their captive limb to his gaze.

She was ancient beauty, Aphrodite, Athena, and Artemis, all wrapped into one tiny little slip of a woman. He swore to himself that he was going to spend the rest of his life making sure she knew that.

He dipped in for another kiss, unable to resist any longer, as he slid his hands around to her back. Working his way to the clasp of her bra, he maneuvered the catch until it no longer constricted and constrained her chest. Continuing the kiss, laving his tongue gently across her lips, seeking permission to enter, he slid one strap and then the other off her shoulders, and let the thing fall away. She parted her lips slightly, giving him access to her mouth and he tasted her there like she was sweet ambrosia melting on his tongue, and he couldn’t help the sound in the back of his throat as her own tongue slipped in and tasted his.

Breaking the kiss, he held her back enough that he could see her standing there, her breasts unencumbered, the pert little pink tips begging him to taste them. He bent down, giving one a tentative sweep of his tongue, wondering what her reaction would be. She didn’t disappoint. The smallest moan followed the catch in her breath as a hand came up and threaded her fingers into his hair. He filed away how responsive she was for future use. But right now, she still had too many clothes on.

He straightened back up and dove in for another kiss. This one more demanding, seeking entry almost as soon as it connected and she returned his hunger in kind. He slid his hands under the back of the waistband belonging to the slip of cloth covering her sex and cupped her round, firm, cheeks, pulling her in toward him sharply, thrusting his own hips forward and letting her feel what she was doing to him.

Her hands were starting to roam again, but he wasn’t ready just yet. He gently pulled her hands from the death grip they had on his own arse, groaning a bit at the loss of her touch. Patience, you wanker. Not going to miss a moment of this if he could help it. He made quick work of the panties before she even seemed to notice they were gone. He pushed her back at arm's length and then looked at her. Really looked at her. There were hints of things from her past here and there. The silvery scar low on her abdomen. The tiniest of silvery lines, crossing her sides like lightning bolts, testifying that she’d created and held life inside.

He suddenly felt himself overcome with emotion just then. His awe of the goddess in front of him overwhelming him. She’d been through life and death. Given life. And all of it was his to worship. How could anyone not want to drink in the bounty of her breasts, worship the planes of her abdomen, caress the curves of her hips, and dive deeply into the heart of her sex, with bloody floodlights to illuminate and appreciate every single graceful and nubile bit of her?

He reached out and slid his fingers over the tiny lines on her right arm, almost imperceptible scars left by flying glass in the accident. Then he moved to circle around her, touching everywhere he remembered ever seeing a scrape, a bruise, a cut, or a scab. He shuddered as he briefly tried to shut out the images of the bruises and marks covering her when he’d found her that fateful night, and then thought better of it. He let them come and then marveled at the beauty of her now. Each one, absorbed and carried like armor. He traced over every area they’d touched or held with his own hands, and placed a gentle kiss there, replacing the previous image with the vibrancy now there. Her hip, her thighs, her graceful calves, no previous insult or injury was spared his attention. Even the small scar on her leg from where the doctor had to fix it when it had been broken in the accident. All of them beautiful and vital parts of the whole. Each one had played a part, good or bad, in creating the goddess in front of him. And he planned to worship her for the rest of his life.

His adoration and initial exploration finished, he noted she was growing more self-conscious and not in a good way. She was beginning to border on a bit of panic if he weren’t mistaken. He stood up and came around to face her again, capturing her eyes with his, trying to reassure her, but seeing so much doubt there.

“Buffy?” He wanted to make sure she was really listening to him. “Don’t ever be ashamed. Every single inch of you is magnificent. Every bit tells the story of who you are what you’ve overcome. It’s nothing short of exquisite.”

He dipped in for another kiss and she seemed to melt into his embrace. He could go on kissing her all night if she kept that up, but he had far better things to do with her than just kiss. He brought his hands to her waist and gently pushed her back, encouraging her to follow his lead as he walked her backward to the edge of the bed. She slid her hands into the waist of his jeans, squeezing his arse firmly before returning to the waistband and pushing his jeans down over his hips. He made short work of getting them off before pushing her back on the bed. He followed her down as she leaned back, supporting himself with his hands on either side of her as he ground his hips against hers, eliciting the most delicious and delicate little moan. His body screamed at him to take her right there and then, just like that, but his brain reminded him that they had plenty of time for that. Other things needed his attention first.

He continued kissing her, pressing her up further on the bed until she was resting against the pillows. He pressed against her, settling his lower half into the space between her legs. He continued to invade her mouth deeper as he cupped a hand behind one of her knees and brought it up, giving him deeper access to press his burgeoning stiffy against her core, eliciting an appreciative moan from her. The heat of her combined with that sound almost undid him. He debated simply burying himself inside her right then.

No, he wanted to make this everything she deserved. Everything he’d wanted to do to her, for her, every night in his dreams. He broke away from kissing her, nestling his face into the side of her neck, and breathing deep and slow as he willed his mind to get some control over his damn prick. As he did so, he abandoned holding her knee in favor of cupping her delicious breast instead, his thumb working the nipple into an even harder peak that brought forth even more of those enticing sounds from her throat as she lifted her hips and ground her pelvis into his.

Having regained a bit of control, he slid down her body slightly to take her other nipple into his mouth, tonguing the firm tip before giving it a gentle nip. The effect was immediate as she arched up slightly, encouraging him to do it again. He switched to the other breast instead, licking and swirling his tongue around it as his hand kneaded the other. He paused a moment, stilling all his movements until he felt her relax slightly and exhale a breath, then grinned as he gave the nipple a slightly less gentle nibble than he’d given the other, causing her to gasp as her nails dug deeply into his shoulders. The sensation drew forth a deep growl from inside him, and he almost laughed as her throaty rumbling answered his.

He traced his hand down her side and in between them, a finger sliding between her vulva and down to her warm inviting opening, as he continued to show her breasts his much-deserved appreciation. He felt her breath catch as he circled the opening, dipping inside just enough to tease her. She rewarded him by arching her hips up, seeking more. He obliged, sliding first one and then two fingers inside and curling them upward while pressing his thumb against her nub. The effect was a sight of beautiful abandon, as she threw her head back and bucked her hips up driving his fingers deeper, as he added a third finger to his strokes.

He watched her face intently as he continued to alternate his mouth’s attention to each breast and slid his fingers in and out, each time searching for that magic spot inside her. She was so responsive it wasn’t difficult to tell when he’d found it as she suddenly gasped as she arched her hips up against his hand, her hands slamming down to the bed underneath her as she pushed against him even harder. Gods she was gorgeous to watch.

Having found her spot, he slid down until his head was between her legs, never slowing the slow and steady strokes inside her. He kept his steady watch of her face as he bent his head down slightly and let his tongue stroke her clitoris, enjoying the jumbled string of words and sounds that suddenly escaped her. He dove in with abandon, sucking, licking, nipping, and swirling around her clit, driving her motions and sounds higher and higher, his strokes picking up speed as he did so, making sure to hit that sweet spot inside her with each thrust, faster and faster until he thought she was right on the verge of climax.

He abandoned her nub to push back up, nipping her hip, her abdomen, her breast, her clavicle, and her neck, on the way to her lips. Feeling the tension coiling tighter and tighter against him, he withdrew his fingers and positioned himself before burying himself to the hilt inside her in one smooth thrust. It had the desired effect, sending her over the edge as she gripped him tightly and screamed out her release.

He waited for what seemed like an eternity, relishing the way her muscles rhythmically squeezed around him and her hips unconsciously rocked against him. As he felt her body start to relax, he began pumping in and out of her, in agonizingly slow strokes at first, trying to build her back up to push her over again. He dipped in to capture her mouth once more in urgent need as he began to speed up his thrust, angling his hips to hit the right spot each time. She brought her legs up and wrapped them around his middle, crossing her ankles behind his back. Suddenly needing to go even deeper, he wrapped his arms underneath her back and up to grasp her mid shoulder on each side, pulling her down with each upward thrust and burying himself as far as he could go inside her.

He pushed himself up as much as possible while continuing the pace and depth of his thrusts, watching as her arch up against him with each, her head thrown back as a litany of guttural moans and unintelligible words fell from her lips. He could feel the tension building inside her and knew he was getting close himself. When he thought she was once again about to peak, he suddenly changed the pace of his thrusts, drawing back slowly before driving back home with an added rock of his hips to grind against her nub. After several more thrusts, he felt his own climax hit with jolting force and he buried himself as deep as he could go, his hips automatically rocking forward with each exquisite spasm of his orgasm.

After several seconds, he began to urgently pump in and out once again, wanting and needing to send her over a second time before he was completely spent. His quick and urgent thrusts built up force and speed as he dropped a hand between them and urgently rubbed her nub until she suddenly arched up off the bed, her body going stiff as her eyes rolled back and her mouth froze in a silent scream for several seconds before she collapsed back on the bed in a boneless repose as he gently stroked a few more times before finally collapsing himself, rolling them over so he wouldn’t crush her.

They both laid there for what felt like a peaceful eternity, completely and utterly spent, and unable to do much more than breathe.

“You ok, luv?” He finally broke the silence, a bit worried by how quiet she was.

“Mmmm… I think my legs stopped working,” She answered.

He couldn’t help but laugh, and she gave him a playful swat on the chest for it.

“You let me know when they’re working again and I’ll see if I can make ‘em stop again.” He smiled as she laughed in response. He didn’t think he would ever grow tired of hearing that sound.

“Spike?” Her voice suddenly sounded full of hesitation and doubt. “This isn’t all there…”

“No!” He asserted as he abruptly cut her off, as he flipped them over, and pushed himself up on his elbow and looked down at her, needing to make sure she knew how serious he was. “This?” he tenderly cupped her face with his free hand. “This was a penitent man come to worship.” He bent down for a tender, but brief, kiss. “But what’s between us?” He gazed straight into her eyes. “Is nothing short of divine revelation, Buffy.” He paused for only a moment. “I love you. Always have, and always will. And hearing you say it, knowing you mean it? That’s just…” He suddenly found himself unable to finish the sentence, as he broke the gaze and looked away.

And then her hands were turning his face back to hers. She looked into his eyes like she had all those years ago, when she would let him look into hers, and she smiled. There was no fear, no doubt, and no uncertainty. All of that was gone. And what replaced it all took his breath away and made him want to sing a bloody hallelujah from the rooftops.

“I love you,” She whispered before leaning up to capture his lips once more.

They spent the rest of the night getting lost in each other’s love and creating their own hallelujah.





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