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Buffy sat across from Riley in a cozy booth. Her hands were wrapped around an oversized coffee mug, and she wondered who had been the first person to have the idea to put coffee in such large cups. Wouldn't it make more sense just to have mugs be taller? It wasn't easy to drink anything when the cup was almost the size of your whole face and it took two hands just to grasp it. Besides, she was always afraid she'd drop it, and that much coffee would just ruin an outfit. Wearing light colored clothes and drinking coffee from an enormous mug was just…

Buffy's chain of thought came to an abrupt stop when she remembered Riley was talking to her. She tuned back in to the one-sided conversation, realizing he was still talking about the same subject he'd been on when her mind had drifted off, and he was apparently oblivious to the fact she hadn't been listening. She had never realized that Iowa could be the topic of such a long monologue. Before today, she'd though it was nothing but corn, but now she realized it was also home to Mrs. Finn's award-winning pies.

His childhood sounded so stereotypically normal, like he'd lived inside a show Buffy would flip past on TV Land. His father stayed and supported his family while his mother worked towards having the perfect household. No painful divorce, no stay in a mental institution. All smiles and farms and pies. This guy was the very portrait of stability.

So he didn't make her knees weak or her head swoon. He didn't make her feel like she'd die if she wasn't with him. Buffy decided that had to be a good thing. What did that sort of thing lead to anyway? Pain, heartache, and loneliness. Wasn't it the wiser choice to go for something safe and dependable?

Buffy also knew if she didn't do something soon, she wouldn't be able to stop things with Spike. She was too drawn to him, and she needed a deterrent. She needed someone who could show her how much better off she was when she was safe. "I've changed my mind," she blurted out.

Riley stopped in mid-sentence. "Huh?"

"You told me to let you know if I changed my mind about dating you, and I have—unless it's too late that is."

"It’s not too late at all," Riley said, his bewildered expression quickly turning to a smile. "What made you change your answer?"

"I realized I wasn't really giving you a fair shot. I've been burned in the past, and it's made me shy away from dating. But you seem like a really nice guy, and there's no reason why I shouldn't give you a chance."

Riley reached across the table and placed his hand over Buffy's. All she could think was how small he made her hand look. No tingles, no mix of emotions making her feel like she could fly and fall at the same time. It was only another hand on top of her own. "I won't make you regret this, Buffy," he told her. "You're a very special lady and you deserve to be treated that way."

"I'm free tomorrow nigh if that's good for you."

Riley grinned, moving their hands so they were resting together in the center of the table. Buffy wondered if he'd keep them there because it would be difficult for her to pick up her coffee one-handed. "I'm free tomorrow. When's a good time for me to pick you up?"

"You don't have to pick me up. I can just meet you somewhere."

Riley gave her hand a squeeze. "Nonsense. I pride myself too much on being a gentleman not to pick you up and make sure you get home safely."

"Well, how does eight-thirty sound then?"

Riley's grin broadened. "It sounds perfect."

*** *** ***

It was dark as Spike stumbled into the apartment, but he didn't think to turn on the light. Instead, he went right for Buffy's bedroom, habit telling him that's where he should be. He grasped the handle, but it didn't turn. Frowning, Spike shook it. Was it broken?

No, something in his mind told him. Not broken. Locked. The memory he'd spent all night trying to forget broke through the haze then and reminded him that Buffy didn't want him in there. He'd been a stupid git, taken things too far, and now she didn't want him to hold her anymore. Just sleeping with her in his arms had been among the most wonderful experiences of his life, and he'd gone and ruined it.

But she'd known he was going to kiss her. He'd told her, and she'd let him. If she hadn't wanted him, why didn't she push him away to begin with?

He found his way back to the couch, lying down and staring up at the shadowed ceiling. Harmony had offered to take him home that night. He could've been in her bed instead of this lumpy couch, could've woken up next to a woman he knew wouldn't reject him in the morning.

He hadn't been able to go with her. Not that the idea of easy sex wasn't appealing, but he hadn't wanted to leave Buffy alone all night. What if she had a nightmare that was too much for her to handle and she needed him? What if she unlocked the door and came looking for him, needing him to hold her until he could dull the pain? He'd never forgive himself if that happened and he was with Harmony. Buffy could need him…

Spike stayed awake for as long as he could, trying to listen for any sound that could mean Buffy was hurting, but it wasn't long until the night caught up with him and consciousness slipped away.

*** *** ***

When Buffy woke up the next morning, she found Spike passed out on the couch, much the way he had been in the early days of their living arrangement. Things had gone back to the way they were before she'd made the mistake of letting him too close. If she was lucky, they'd stay this way, and Buffy could have her life back. It should be a relief.

Buffy watched Spike, a frown tugging at her mouth. It should be a relief. So why wasn't it?

*** *** ***

Spike watched with a growing sense of dread as Buffy flitted between her bedroom and the bathroom, obviously getting ready to go somewhere. She kept her work schedule on a calendar by the fridge so he knew it was her night off. Besides, she wore a uniform to work—and didn't put this much of an effort into her hair. He could see her reflection in the bathroom mirror from his position on the couch, and she was painstakingly styling it with a curling iron. He knew she could be going out with one of her friends, Willow maybe, but somehow he doubted it.

He had a sinking feeling in his stomach that was telling him she had a date. They hadn't talked since the previous morning, and the thought that she was so quickly jumping to someone else made him either sad or angry, he wasn't sure which. Possibly both.

When Buffy finished her hair and started towards the bedroom again, Spike stood and walked over to her, taking her by the arm. "Where are you going?"

Buffy pulled away. "It's not any of your business. You're gone all the time, and I never question you."

"That's different. I'm working."

"Is Harmony work?"

Spike decided not to broach that subject again with her. "I just want to know what's going on, Buffy. You shut me down, but you can go out with someone else the next day?"

"I never said anything about having a date, Spike."

"I'm not an idiot, Buffy. I can tell when a woman is getting ready for a date."

Buffy put her hands on her hips and jutted her chin out defiantly. "So what if I am? It's none of your business anyway."

Spike moved closer to her, and Buffy felt her body temperature rise. It wasn't fair that he could do this to her so easily. Her body should recognize his dangerousness as much as her mind did. "We have something here, Buffy," Spike said, his sensual voice rolling over her. "Heat…desire. You can't deny it."

"No," Buffy replied, trying to keep her voice steady but knowing she was failing. "This is wrong. We're wrong."

"No, we're not." Spike trailed his finger down her cheek, and Buffy gasped. "We could be so right, kitten. So very, very right."

He leaned in, and Buffy knew he was about to kiss her. Her whole body was trembling, and she wanted nothing more than to feel his lips against hers again. His eyes, his mouth, god, that face… And his body… She wanted him in with an intensity she'd never felt before.

But this was the wrong thing to do. It would get her hurt again, and she didn't have enough strength left in her for that. She stepped back. "No. This is wrong. You're…you're like my brother." There, she'd said it. It was untrue, but if it would protect her, then she'd claim it wasn't.

Spike narrowed his eyes as he moved away from her. "Fine. Go get ready for your date, sis."

Buffy cringed. This felt wrong, too. It was just all wrong, and she didn't know where to go. Either way she felt like she was being ripped apart. She tried to think of something, anything to say to make it all right. This with Riley was supposed to ease her pain, not make it worse. She turned away from Spike, ducking back into the safety of her room.

*** *** ***

Spike knew the knock at the door was the date. He got up immediately, stalking towards the door to see the pillock who was daring to take out his Buffy. He shook his head. Not "his" Buffy. That was the problem, after all.

Buffy ran from her bedroom trying to beat Spike to the door, but she was too late. Spike opened up to Riley, and smirked. "Well, let's get a look at the boy," he said, his body language conveying anything but insecurity at Riley's superior size. If anything, it was Riley who looked nervous.

Buffy pushed Spike out of the way. "Hey, Riley. Sorry, I was just finishing getting ready."

Riley glanced nervously at Spike before smiling at Buffy. "Wow. You look…great."

Buffy blushed and accepted his compliment. Spike narrowed her eyes. She did look great—and it was all for an oversized git with a poncey name like Riley. "You better not keep her out too late, mate," Spike said, giving Riley his most menacing look.

"Um, and you are…?" Riley asked.

Spike stuck out his hand. "Folks call me Spike. I'm her brother." He grinned, making sure the expression was more scary than friendly.

Riley shook Spike's hand cautiously. "Um, nice to meet you…Spike. I didn't know Buffy had a brother."

"Oh the family doesn't talk about me much."

Spike could almost see Riley holding back the statement "I can see why." Let Riley fear him. Maybe it would keep him from touching Buffy.

"We should go, Riley," Buffy said, watching Spike from the corner of her eye. Why was he doing this to her? Couldn't he just accept that she wasn't going to let anything happen between them?

"Don't keep her out too late," Spike said, hands crossed over his chest. "And make sure you keep your busy hands to yourself."

"I'm never anything but a perfect gentleman," Riley said. "You can trust Buffy with me."

Spike narrowed his eyes. Like hell he could. He wouldn't trust Buffy with the bloody pope, never mind this guy. "You just bring her back the way you found her."

Buffy shot Spike a look. "We're going now," she informed him. "Have a good night."

"Yeah, you, too," Spike replied, making his sarcasm evident.

Buffy linked her arm with Riley's and led him out into the hall, shutting the door behind them. She could feel Spike glaring at them through the wood, and she let out a deep shaky breath as she walked away with Riley.

"Is your brother always that protective?"

"He's just…he doesn't have a lot of social skills. Can we possibly not talk about him?"

"Whatever you want, princess," Riley said, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

Buffy smiled at Riley wishing she wasn't suddenly feeling guilty.

*** *** ***

Just so everyone's clear, I'm not a closet Buffy/Riley shipper who has been posting Spuffy fics to throw everyone off my trail and am now gonna bust out with the Rileyness. There's a tiny bit of Riley stuff coming up in the next few chapters, but nothing too major, I swear. And if I can suffer through writing it, you can sit tight and read it. lol





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