Spike allowed himself a few moments of contentment with Buffy still sleeping in his arms before the panic set in. What would happen when she woke up? She'd let him in both physically and emotionally the night before, but he wasn't sure how she'd react now, facing the day. Being with Buffy had been one of the most incredible experiences of his life, and the thought of losing that now scared him more that he even wanted to admit.

When her eyes slowly fluttered open, Spike sucked in a deep breath. He watched as a slow smile crept across Buffy's face as she stretched languidly, then he frowned as she winced a little.

"Okay, those are muscles I haven't used in a while," Buffy grumbled.

Spike's mind was whirling. She wasn't running or screaming, so that was a good thing. She'd looked happy at first, but now she was frowning. That could be bad… "Are you sore, luv?"

"A little." Buffy's smile returned, this time taking on an almost impish quality. "But it was worth it."

Spike felt himself relaxing as he started to believe that maybe this morning actually was going to turn out well. He reached up and stroked Buffy's cheek. "Guess we're going to have to see that those muscles get more of a regular workout then," he replied.

Buffy pushed herself closer to him, practically purring as she rubbed her hands down his chest. "Think maybe we could start on that right now?"

Spike's eyes darkened, and he didn't even try to fight the shiver that coursed through him. He couldn't have imagined this morning going any better, and he would've been giddy if Buffy hadn't already managed to distract him from thinking about anything other than his desire for her. He rolled over on top of her, fully intending to show her just how well he could work out those muscles when suddenly, she froze, pushing at his chest. Spike pulled up, letting her get off the bed. "Buffy…what's…what's wrong? Did I do…"

"I'm supposed to be at work in fifteen minutes," she said before rushing out of the room without a look back at him.

Spike sat up in the bed, filled with disappointment and confusion. What had just happened exactly? She'd been so responsive, and now she was running away? Was she using work as an excuse to get away from him? But if that were the case, then why had she seemed to want him only moments before.

Then he heard her talking to someone in the living room, and he quickly surmised that she'd made a phone call.

"Anya, it's Buffy. I know it's short notice, but I can't come in today. I know, I know, but I have a really good excuse. Yeah…I'm having sex. No! Not at this very moment…I stopped to use the phone. Well, now you tell me! Ugh. A world of no. Spike… Yes, that Spike… What? I'm not saying that! Oh, you're evil. Fine. You were absolutely right, and I was very, very wrong to ever doubt your knowledge of all that is the world of men, oh knowing one. There, you happy? Can I go back to the sex now? Okay, I will. I promise. Uh huh. Bye!"

Buffy slammed the phone back on the receiver and ran back into the room, all but leaping into bed with Spike. "Sorry. Knew if I didn't hurry up and do that now, I was going to get too distracted. But then Anya said that 'having great sex' is an acceptable reason for not calling in, so ugh, total waste of time when I could've been otherwise occupied."

All the doubt that had built itself back up inside Spike when Buffy had run off dissipated. Not only was she staying with him, but she'd had no problem admitting their relationship to one of her friends. This was something real to her, something she thought was worth keeping. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her flush against him, kissing her with a near savage intensity. Buffy moaned, clinging tightly to his back, his desperate need fueling her own. They tore away from each other only when breathing became a necessity, and the raw need in Spike's eyes made Buffy pull him to her all over again.

When they broke the kiss a second time, Spike moved his mouth to her ear, nipping lightly on the lobe before whispering, "Having you only made me want you more, pet. I could spend every moment of my life buried inside you and never get enough."

"Oh god," Buffy groaned. His voice could always make her hot, but now it was so low, so roughened with desire, that she felt positively on fire.

"God, hmm? I usually respond to just Spike, but god'll do." Spike thrust his pelvis against her, and Buffy felt no need to argue. She'd happily make him her god if he'd just keep doing what he was doing. Then she felt him slip two fingers inside her, caressing her at just the right angle, and Buffy was convinced he was a god. No human man could possibly make her feel this good so easily. She thrust her hips in time with his hand, whimpering and panting.

"That's it. Purr for me, kitten."

Buffy gasped when his thumb found her clit and begun to rub hard circles against the bundle of nerves. He quickly built her higher and higher, until suddenly he pulled away, causing her to cry out and reach for him blindly, desperate to bring him—and the pleasure—back.

But then there he was again, sliding his condom-sheathed cock inside of her. "Sorry, baby. Just needed to be inside you, is all. Couldn't wait any longer."

"Mmm…" Buffy replied wordlessly, thrusting her hips up. His fingers had felt good, but this was so much better. He stretched her, filled her, made her feel complete. How could she ever have thought to deny herself this?

She clutched Spike tightly, watching him as he moved over her. He met her eyes, keeping his intense blue gaze locked on her as he slid in and out rhythmically. Somehow, he'd managed to make all the bad in her life seem to melt away until all the mattered was the two of them, their bodies entwined. But she still needed more of him, needed him to fill all the places where she was empty.

"More, Spike," Buffy gasped. "Harder."

He complied without a word, putting more force behind his movements. Buffy could tell the tenuous hold he had on his control was slipping, and she moved her legs up to his hips, wrapping them around him as tightly as she could to better meet his thrusts. She tried to pull him closer, desperate for what seemed just out of reach.

And then it hit her, and she screamed his name in pleasure, her climax triggering his own until they collapsed together, bodies trembling.

*** *** ***

"I'm hungry."

Spike chuckled as Buffy's sudden declaration broke the silence that had followed their morning lovemaking. "And what exactly do you expect me to do about it, pet?"

Buffy propped herself up on his chest, looking down at him. "Make omelettes."

"Oh, well, look who's getting all demanding now."

Buffy made her eyes grow wide and pitiful as she stuck out her bottom lip. "But it would make me happy. Don't you want to make me happy, Spike?"

"Oi! That's just not fair play…"

Buffy's only response was to coquettishly bat her eyelashes.

"Bloody woman," Spike grumbled as he moved her from his chest so he could get off the bed. "I'll make you an omelette if that's what you want."

"With cheese?"

"Course. Know how much my girl likes cheese."

Buffy made a small squeal of delight, and Spike noted how she didn't protest his use of the phrase "my girl." Instead, she gave him a bright smile, punctuated with a "thank you, honey."

Spike smiled back. He'd make her a thousand omelettes just to keep her calling him sweet names like that. "You do have food in the fridge, don't you?" he asked.

"Yep. I have eggs and cheese—and peppers, too."

"Guess you're gonna want me to chop those up." Buffy's eyes grew wide and pleading again, and Spike knew for certain just how much she had him wrapped around her little finger. He chuckled and grabbed his jeans, putting them on before going into the kitchen. He'd started rummaging around the fridge for what he'd need when he felt Buffy's arms go around him from behind and her lips press a small kiss against his shoulder blade.

"Did I ever tell you how good your ass looks in these jeans?"

Spike shivered. This was a side of Buffy he'd dreamed of more time than he could count, but to actually see those dreams played out in living color was better than he could ever have imagined. "No, pet, don't believe you ever have," he said, leaning back slightly into her embrace.

"How neglectful of me."

Spike turned, his mouth going dry at the sight of her wearing nothing but one of his shirts. "How hungry are you exactly?" he asked huskily.

"Hungry. Food now. Sex later."

"Or Cave Buffy will be angry?" Spike asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Buffy lightly slapped his chest, then pointed to the stove. "Breakfast."

"Is this why you brought me back here? To make me your personal man-slave?"

"Yup. To provide me with omelettes and orgasms."

Spike laughed, her playful response both surprising and amusing him. "Been spending time with Anya, have you?"

"Just a little."

Spike leaned in and kissed the tip of her nose. "Well, you just relax now, princess, and I'll get to work on the first thing. Then I'll see what I can do about the second." He punctuated the last word with a look hot enough to make Buffy's knees weak. But a small rumble from her stomach reminded her why they were in the kitchen instead of the bed.

She walked over to the table, sitting down and resting her chin in her hands. "All right, man-slave. Get to it."

"You going to watch me?"

"Uh huh. I like watching you cook. There's something really sexy about a man in a kitchen."

Spike chuckled and got to work. If him cooking got her hot, then who was he to deny her a show?

Buffy's gaze followed him around the kitchen, her hunger rising for both Spike and the food. She realized suddenly how right it seemed to have him there, how right he looked in her apartment. "I missed you," she blurted out.

Spike turned from the bell peppers he was chopping. "What?"

"I missed you. Here—in the apartment. It felt so…empty. Like if there's a painting that used to be on a wall, and then someone takes it away, but you still expect to see it when you look at that wall, and when it's not there, it just seems…wrong. And that's a horrible analogy, because you're a person, not a painting, but…"

"I know what you mean, kitten. Felt like something was missing." Buffy nodded. "Do you want me back here? On a permanent basis." Buffy nodded again, but Spike felt like he had to make one more point before he agreed to come back. "And just so we're clear, it would be different this time. I'd live here with you all official-like, so no shutting me out."

"I know. And you did live here before, I was just…too stubborn to accept it." Buffy stopped long enough to respond to his smirk with a dirty look before she continued. "I want you here, Spike. And as much as it scares me to admit this, I need you here. Since you left, everything as been harder. I thought letting you in would be the difficult thing to do, but it wasn't. It was living here after I'd driven you away. That's what was hard."

Spike made his way over to the table, kneeling in front of Buffy and reaching up to cup her cheek with his hand. "No, baby. Don't think that's what you did. Besides, I know I was no picnic to live with." Buffy smiled at him a little. "Knew I could get a grin. We had a rough start, luv. Lots of couples do, it's okay. But you didn't drive me away. I'm here now, aren't I?"

Buffy nodded. "And you're going to stay, right? You're not going to leave me again?" Her lip trembled, and Spike felt like a wanker for ever leaving at all. He'd thought he was doing the best thing for her at the time, but it was obvious now that that had hurt her in a way neither one of them had anticipated. He stood, wrapping his arms around her and letting her rest her head against his abdomen.

"Not gonna leave. You mean so much to me, Buffy. You want me for the long haul, you've got me."

"I do. I'm terrified, but I do." She looked up, and Spike saw the tears shimmering in her eyes. "You'll help me not be afraid anymore, won't you, William?"

Spike's heart jumped in his chest. This was a side of Buffy he rarely saw—if ever. It was a vulnerability she'd only shown him those nights that he'd held her, and even then she'd been more guarded than this. She was sitting in front of him now, handing him her broken heart and asking him to mend it. Could he? He wasn't exactly in one piece emotionally himself, and he knew it. Could he accept the responsibility of teaching this woman it was okay to love again?

"I will, Buffy. I promise."

Buffy read the sincerity in his eyes and sniffled. The two were silent for a moment before Buffy's mouth turned up slightly. "So what about those omelettes?"

*** *** ***

Buffy lay in Spike's arms, a small, contented smile on her lips. They'd barely made it through breakfast before they'd stumbled back into the bedroom, desperate to feel each other again. Spike had drifted off to sleep after the last time, but she'd stayed awake, despite the fact that their enthusiastic, amorous activities had left her tired and sore. She was almost afraid to go to sleep, worrying that she'd open her eyes again to find that none of it had been real. She'd be alone again, without the warmth and comfort that Spike was giving her now.

But he wouldn't leave her. He'd promised.

Angel promised not to leave, too… a little voice inside reminded her. And in the end, he had. Not because he'd wanted to, but the result had been the same. She'd been broken and alone.

She thought about Spike being cold and lifeless the way Angel had been the last time she'd held him, and wrapped her arms tighter around her lover. She couldn't survive that again, especially not with this man sleeping beside her now…

But what choice did she have but to take the risk? She was already in too deep with Spike, although how it had happened, she didn't know. She'd tried so hard to protect herself, to avoid putting herself in a situation where she could lose it all again, but it had happened just the same. Somehow the one person she'd wanted nothing to do with had become the one person she couldn't live without.

So she did the only thing she could.

She held on to him and prayed that this time, everything would be all right.

*** *** ***

I'm not sure how happy I really am with this chapter, but the muse has not been with me recently. Let me know what you thought of it, please. I could really use the feedback right now…





You must login (register) to review.