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Buffy was surprised at how quickly her life had turned around. It was hard to believe only a few months ago she'd been alone and broken. But since she'd gotten with Spike, everything had seemed to change. She was no longer lonely, and every day no longer felt like a struggle. Anya was getting her store off the ground, which meant Buffy no longer had to suffer through working for Snyder. Her life was as perfect as if had been in a very long time.

Which was exactly why she didn't want to do anything to upset the status quo. One wrong move, and she was sure she'd go back to being as miserable as she had been before.

She sat on the couch, staring at the tickets in her hands, a sense of dread washing over her. She looked over at Spike, her eyes wide. "Can't we just stay here? It's really nice at Christmas time, you know. They have a big tree."

"Pet, you haven't been back home since you came here. And it's Christmas. Anya's giving you time off and everything," Spike said.

"It's a pretty tree. Lights and everything."

"I've seen it on the telly."

Buffy sighed. "I left there for a reason, you know. My mother—not really on the top of my list of people I want to see."

"I know." Spike reached out and placed his hand on top of hers. "It's not just your mum that's there. Dawn really misses you."

Buffy blinked. "She does? I figured she'd be thrilled getting to live like an only child."

"Only on the outside," Spike replied with a wink. "She does miss you. And my da worries about you all the way out here."

"Really?"

"Yeah. There are people back in Sunnydale that love you, Buffy. Your mum included, even with the rocky past you two have."

Buffy sighed. "I know. It's just…it'll be difficult. And I don't know if I can be around you and not act like I'm with you."

Spike pulled his hand away. "So we're still a secret then."

"Spike…honey, don't look like that. It's not because I'm ashamed of us or anything. It's just…well, I know my mom's going to make a big deal out of it, and I really don't want there to be anymore stress than there already will be."

"They're going to have to know sooner or later, and this could be the perfect time to tell them," Spike replied. "We'll be there, so they can see us together—get more used to the idea."

"She'll flip, Spike. And then the whole trip will be really, really awkward."

"We're not leaving for another week. We could call them ahead of time, let them…"

"No."

"You know, Buffy, we're going to be there for five days. Do you really think we can go that long without as much as a kiss?"

Buffy bit her bottom lip. Since that first night, they'd rarely gone even as many as two days without having sex. She knew five days would drive her to the point of either tearing all his clothes off or spontaneously combusting. "We'll just have to be secretive about it."

"So what, I sneak into your bedroom and ravish you when your mum's asleep?"

"Could be fun…"

Spike sighed. "But I don't want that with you, pet. And I'm not even sure I could keep that up. It's so natural for me to just take your hand, or brush your hair out of your eyes. It's little things like that that are going to give us away."

"Then you'll just have to be really careful about what you do around our parents," Buffy said. She frowned. "And calling them 'our parents' sounds really creepy."

"Little bit, yeah," Spike replied with a similar expression on his face.

"You dad and my mom," she amended.

"Better," Spike agreed. "You know, they might be happy for us. Your mum does like me."

"She thinks of you as a son," Buffy replied. "Just trust me when I say she'd wig."

"So when do you plan on telling them then? When their first grandchild is born?"

Buffy's eyes bugged. "When what? Since when are we having kids?"

Spike stood up. "I suppose never, since this apparently isn't all that important to you."

"What!?" Buffy exclaimed. "How can you say that? You know I love you, Spike."

"Then why can't you tell your mum? She'll get used to the idea soon enough."

"Spike, please. You know how things were when I left home. This trip back is going to be hard enough without any added stress."

"Oh, so now I'm added stress?" Spike asked angrily.

"No! You're not that at all! I just meant…"

"Yeah, I think I know what you meant," Spike said, turning around and walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Buffy called after him.

"Don't know. Just…someplace else," Spike replied.

Buffy got up from the couch, running and pushing herself against the door to block it. "Spike, please."

"Get out of my way, Buffy."

"Spike, I'm sorry. I just can't do this with my mother right now. Just try to understand, please. Please…"

Her eyes were filling with tears, and Spike felt his anger quickly being replaced with a need to comfort her. He pulled her into his arms, her head going against his chest. "Don't cry, kitten. I'll stay."

"Don't think this means I don't love you, because I do," Buffy said, wrapping her arms tightly around him. And you're not more stress. If anything, you've taken so much of my stress away. It's just my mother. Seeing her again is going to be really difficult, and I need to minimize the complications."

Spike closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again and responding. "I know. And if that's what you need, I'll give it to you."

Buffy looked up at him, her eyes damp. "You will?"

Spike wiped a tear away from her cheek with his thumb. He never could tell a crying woman no… "'Course. And it's only for a few days. We'll be back here to our normal life together soon."

Buffy gave him a small smile. "Yeah." Her smile changed as she pulled back slightly, placing her hands against his chest. "And think about just how much I'll owe you."

Spike grinned, his tongue curling over his teeth. "Owe me, huh?"

"Oh yeah. This constitutes a big, big favor."

Spike reached down to cup her ass, pulling her forward so she was flush against him. "I'm going to hold you to that," he said, his voice low and making her shiver.

"Think maybe I could work off a little of that now?" Buffy asked, rubbing herself slowly against him.

Without a word, Spike reached for the waistband of the sweatpants she was wearing, pulling both them and her panties off before hoisting her up against the wall. Her legs went around his hips, her mouth meeting his in a savage kiss as he unzipped his jeans, pulling his cock out into play. Buffy cried out, clinging to him tightly as he slid inside of her, wasting no time in finding his rhythm.

It amazed her how quickly she could reach the point of desperation with him—and how often it happened. All he had to do was give her a look, and she was his. The fact that he was pounding into her against the front door and anyone who walked down the hall would probably know exactly what was going on in there didn't seem to matter in the least. She wanted him, needed him.

Oh yeah, five days of restraint was going to be difficult.

"Buffy…" Spike moaned by her ear. Buffy trembled at the sound, her hands clutching his shoulders tighter. "So bloody hot, kitten. Every time…"

His voice was always enough to make her weak in the knees, but the way it sounded when he was inside her, so rough with desire… She moaned, pulling him as close as she could. "Talk to me, baby. Tell me how it feels."

"So bloody good," Spike groaned in response. "So tight…so hot. Perfect… Could fuck you forever… Buffy…Buffy… My angel…my everything… Love you…love you so much."

Buffy cried out in orgasm, her body shaking heavily as Spiked continued to drive into her until he found his own release, calling out her name as he did.

Spike could feel Buffy's hold on him slipping, and he knew the strength he had in his own legs was waning as well. He let her slip long enough to refasten his jeans before picking her up and carrying her into the bedroom, sitting her down on the edge of the bed. Buffy pulled off her shirt and bra as Spike undressed. He then climbed into the bed with her, pulling her into his arms and bringing the covers up around them.

*** *** ***

"Are you excited about going home for the first time in two years?" Willow asked as she and Buffy ate lunch together the next day.

"Right now, I'm thinking more about that last final I have to take in an hour," Buffy replied, poking at her salad with her fork.

Willow waved her hand dismissively. "You'll ace that. You've been doing great in that class all semester."

"Yes, but it's sixty percent of my grade, so if I bomb it, it won't really matter how I did the rest of the semester."

"You'll do fine." Willow paused for a moment before asking, "Your parents don't know about you and Spike, do they?"

"No," Buffy replied, shaking her head. "Spike thinks we should tell them while we're there, but then it'll just be this big thing, and it'll make the whole trip even tenser than it's already going to be."

"What makes you think it's going to be tense?" Willow asked.

"Because my mother will be there," Buffy answered. "That woman and me in the same room—automatic tension."

Willow frowned. She knew Buffy and her mother had had a falling out, but she'd never learned the details. "It's been two years, Buffy," she said. "Maybe she's gotten over whatever you two were fighting about."

"That's not the problem, Wills. I haven't gotten over it. What happened…what she did…it's not something I think I can ever forgive her for."

"Do you want to go at all?" Willow asked.

"Yes and no," Buffy replied with a sigh. "Spike told me Dawn misses me, and I miss her, too. And I would like to see Giles. But I left for a reason, and the thought of going back makes me really nervous. I don't want to have to dredge up the past."

"It'll only be for a few days," Willow said. "And then you'll be back here and won't have to worry about any of that crazy home stuff."

"I hope you're right, 'cause I'm not sure how much of my mother I can take without snapping. And trying to hide how close Spike and I are is going to be really difficult."

"Especially since the two of you seem to have magnets in your lips," Willow teased with a smile.

"We're not that bad." Buffy paused. "Are we?"

Willow chuckled. "Nah. You're just obviously very much in love—with a healthy dose of lustiness thrown in."

"Good, because if you think we're bad in public, you should see us where we're alone." Buffy frowned. "Or not, 'cause voyeur Willow—kinda creepy."

Willow rolled her eyes. "Trust me, I can go on just fine without knowing what the two of you do behind closed doors. I'm scarred enough from Anya's in-depth descriptions of what she does with Xander."

"I'm still trying to block out the story about the sex swing," Buffy muttered.

"No luck for you either, huh?"

"Nope."

"At least we can suffer together," Willow said with a smile.

"Guess that's something." Buffy ate the last couple bites of her salad before standing up. "Hey, I'm going to head on over to my exam. I want to get there early so I can go over a few things in my notes one last time."

"Okay. I was about to do that myself," Willow replied. She gave Buffy a wink. "Break a pencil."

Buffy laughed. "You, too."

*** *** ***

"Smells good in here," Buffy said as she walked into the apartment. She smiled at Spike as he looked up from the stove. "Hey, baby."

"Hey. How'd your last two exams go?"

"I think they went well," Buffy replied. "I didn't leave any huge sections blank. And there's the glorious knowledge that I will never have to sit in Professor Walsh's class ever again." She put her books down on the table and walked up to Spike, kissing his cheek. "You're such a sweetie. Making dinner."

"Also went by the video store and picked up a copy of The Cutting Edge. Figured you could use a quiet night in."

"Ooh. I love that movie."

"I know. You and your ice skating obsession… Why do you think I got it?"

Buffy wrapped her arms around his waist. "You do know you're the best boyfriend ever, don't you?"

"I've had my suspicions."

Buffy gave him a quick kiss before pulling away. "Do I have time for a shower before dinner?"

"Sure, pet. Go wash away the last of that finals stress," Spike replied.

"Okay. I'll be out in a few." Buffy smiled as she walked towards the bathroom. This was perfect, just the way she wanted her life to stay. But any change could disrupt everything, and she couldn't take that. She needed this too much.

She let out a deep breath, hoping that they could make it through whatever they had to face back in California.

*** *** ***

Yes, this story is back. And I've already started work on the next chapter, so hopefully it won't be so much time between posts again. This story just tends to be very hard for me to write, and I have lots of blocks, which is why it's been taking so long.

Please review!





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