While Buffy was enjoying the time she was spending with Giles and Dawn, she knew she wouldn't be able to stay through the week as she'd planned. Just the stress of being under the same roof as her mother was too much, and she needed to leave, to be back in her own space where she could breathe. She knew that her mother was judging everything she did, every move she made, and she couldn't stand it, especially now that her relationship with Spike had been added to that list of Buffy's wrongs according to Joyce.
Buffy rolled to her side and looked at Spike as he slept. She'd once told herself that any relationship between them would be wrong, although now she knew that it couldn't be more right. Spike held her together, gave her her strength. Without him, she'd crumble again, go back to being the broken girl she'd been when he'd found her. When he'd rescued her.
She stroked his cheek softly, not wanting to wake him. Even in sleep, he moved towards her hand, a small smile forming on his lips. She'd never known anyone who loved the way Spike did, so completely and openly. It scared her a little sometimes, when she looked into his eyes and saw the depth of emotion he so proudly displayed there. Buffy didn't think she could ever bare herself the way he did, could ever throw open the doors to her heart. She'd let him in, but she knew there was still a part of herself that she kept guarded, a piece too broken for her to ever show to anyone else ever again.
She had wondered before how Spike was able to throw himself head first into love still, even after the heartaches he'd suffered in the past, and it had dawned on her then that he couldn't help it. It wasn't in his nature to hold back. The only way he could love was with every bit of himself. It was how he did everything, all or nothing.
Buffy moved next to him, sliding up against his body, and his arms went automatically around her to pull her closer. She held on to him tightly, wanting the comfort he could give her. She buried her face against his neck and pressed a small kiss against his collarbone.
It wasn't enough. She needed the comfort only he could give, needed him to ease her worries with his touch. Her body was itching for him, though she found she was craving the comfort even more than the pleasure. All her fear and hurt seemed to fade away when Spike was inside of her, her heart finally finding total peace, even if it was only for a little while.
Buffy bit her bottom lip as she debated what she should do. She knew her mother probably wouldn't hear an asteroid hit the house, and Giles did tend to sleep soundly—something she'd learned from all the times she'd sneaked in and out of the house as a teenager. Dawn was close by, but she slept like a rock, too, and if Buffy could manage to keep herself quiet, her sister wouldn't be a problem either. She didn't think she'd be doing much screaming tonight anyway. It wasn't that sort of mood.
But there was still the uneasy feeling of doing it in her parents' house. She'd been telling Spike the truth when she'd told him she didn't feel like she could have sex with him here, in this house, in this bed.
Thoughts of the bed brought Buffy back to the morning before and Spike's admission that he'd slept with women there before. Envy rose up in her at the thought of any other woman ever touching him, ever sharing with him what she did, especially in her bed. Her eyes narrowed as her mind was made up. If this bed was going to be the site of any sort of debauchery, it was going to be with her involved—not Spike and some slut he picked up in a bar. It was probably women like that Harmony girl she'd found in the apartment before. Buffy's nose wrinkled at the thought.
Her mother could call it the "guest room" all she wanted, but this was her bed, and Buffy was going to be the last person who'd had sex in it, everything else be damned.
She shook Spike lightly, whispering his name as she did. He muttered softly in his sleep, but didn't wake, and Buffy sighed. "Come on, baby," she said in his ear. "Wake up. I want you."
He didn't move, and Buffy sighed again, heavier this time. She knew that if Spike knew he was sleeping through what was probably his one chance at getting laid on this trip, he'd be kicking himself. Determined to make sure the opportunity was not a missed one for either of them, she reached down past the waistband of the sweatpants she'd insisted he wear to bed while they were there. Buffy didn't think she'd ever understand why anyone would want to sleep naked in the middle of winter, even if they were in California. But Spike hated wearing anything to bed, and even back in New York, he'd forego clothes to sleep, no matter what the temperature outside was.
The sweatpants were just in her way now, and she was wishing she'd let him skip them despite the practical reasons for wearing them when staying in a house with people who weren't always ones to respect privacy. She pushed the thick, gray cotton down off his narrow hips to allow her better access to his already semi-hard cock. Buffy wondered idly if he ever managed to grow completely soft, or if his was just like this all the time.
She pumped him steadily in hopes that the sensation would wake him. He did respond, his hips thrusting slightly forward as her ministrations made his cock grow harder, but his eyes remained closed and his shallow breathing told her that he was still asleep.
The man slept like the dead. More than once she'd woken up pinned to the bed and had to contort herself in all sorts of positions in order to get free so she could get ready for class or work. And through it all, he'd sleep. But surely he couldn't be such a deep sleeper that he'd sleep right through her amorous mood…
Had they been home, she would've started yelling, hoping the noise would be enough to wake him, but she couldn't do that here. What she wanted depended on Spike being the only other person in the house awake.
Buffy leaned forward and took his earlobe in between her teeth, then bit down. He moaned softly, but much to her chagrin, the sound was made in his sleep. Frustrated, Buffy pulled away from him and flopped over on her back. She knew that she should probably just take this as a sign and try to go to sleep again, but she did hate to leave a task before it was finished.
With renewed determination, Buffy pushed off her own pants, deciding the only way she was getting him awake was by taking drastic measures. She rolled back over, hooked her leg over Spike's hip, and guided him inside of her.
Buffy moved against Spike slowly until his eyes finally fluttered open. "Buffy?" he said sleepily.
"Needed you," Buffy replied, then rolled them over so Spike was on top of her. His face went to the crook of her neck, his warm breath against her skin.
"Thought I was dreaming," he said as he began to move inside of her.
"Not dreaming," Buffy replied, kissing the side of his face. "I couldn't sleep. Wanted you close." Buffy wrapped her arms tightly around him. She couldn't get any closer to him than this…
His movements were slow and languid, all of him still not as awake as the part that was hard and thick inside of her, but Buffy didn't protest the gentleness. It was perfect like this now, just what she needed. She turned his head until she could meet his mouth. Their kiss was soft, but not without passion. Buffy didn't think anything they shared ever could be.
The build up was slow, the tension in her body rising so steadily that Buffy's orgasm hit her by surprise when it finally rolled through her. Her mouth fell open in a wordless cry as her body shook and trembled. Above her, Spike gasped, and his hips pitched forward as he joined her in pleasure.
Spike rolled them over and held Buffy against his chest. He kissed the top of her head, mumbling an "I love you" before he drifted back into sleep. Buffy waited a few moments before retrieving her pants and underwear from the bottom of the bed, and put them back on before she pulled Spike's sweat pants back up to his waist, just in case anyone walked in on them in the morning.
She lay back down on his chest, yawning softly as her eyes began to close. "I love you, too," she whispered before she joined him in sleep.
Spike stretched as he woke, then frowned slightly as he remembered something from the night before that he wasn't quite sure was right. "Buffy?"
"Hmm?" Buffy asked from beside him, her eyes still closed.
"Did we have sex last night?"
One of Buffy's eyes opened. "You don't remember?"
"Um, vaguely. I think we did, but you said you didn't want to, so…"
"We did," Buffy said, both eyes open now. "I wanted you. Were you asleep for it or something?"
"I wasn't completely awake," Spike admitted.
"So what, you thought it might have just been a really nice dream?" Buffy asked with a smirk.
"Wouldn't be the first time I dreamt about you, pet," Spike said. He kissed her forehead. "Did seem awfully vivid, though. Thought it probably really happened."
"If I had told you it was all a dream would you have believed me?"
Spike eyed her warily. "You thinking about what sort of things you can do to me in my sleep now?"
"I might be," Buffy said as she snuggled closer to him. "Although I've got you so wrapped around my little finger that I don't need to take advantage of you in your sleep. You're my willing slave when you're awake."
"That so?" Spike asked, eyebrow arched.
Buffy smiled slowly as her hand sneaked down beneath the covers to grab his erection. "Come on…tell me I can't have what I want."
Spike's eyes darkened. "You know, I might just take what I want instead."
"Oh? And how's that different from what I want, hmm?"
Spike grinned wickedly and moved to roll her over, only to be stopped by an insistent knock on the door. He rolled his eyes, his teeth gritted tight. "Balls."
"It's Christmas morning, so you two get out of bed!" Dawn yelled from behind the door. "And I so don't care if you're having sex, I'm coming in there if you don't get up!"
"We'll be up in a minute, Dawn!" Buffy yelled back.
"You better be!" Dawn replied. "Giles says I can't open any presents until you two come downstairs!"
"We're standing between Dawn and presents," Buffy muttered. "Guess that means I'll have to use you as my sex slave later."
"Watch yourself, missy," Spike said. "You're gonna find yourself in all kinds of trouble."
"Promise?" Buffy asked with a grin.
Spike pulled her to him and kissed her until she was breathless. "You can count on it," he said as he pulled away.
Buffy looked him over, shivering at the way his chest heaved with ragged breaths and how dark with desire his eyes were. She almost said to hell with it all and jumped him anyway when Dawn pounded on the door again.
"Naked or not, I will drag you out of that bed!"
"I so should've been an only child," Buffy muttered before calling out louder to Dawn. "We're getting out of bed now. Geez, learn some patience! You're like a…kid at Christmas!"
"I know! Now get up, both of you!"
Buffy grumbled as she begrudgingly pulled away from Spike. He stood and grabbed his t-shirt from where he'd tossed it the night before and tugged it down so it covered the front of his sweats. Buffy chuckled. "Need a cold shower?"
Spike gave her a dirty look. "It's your fault, for being so bleedin' sexy all the time. And you'd think the bit's yellin' would've killed it."
"Honey, I don't think that thing ever stays down."
"Not around you it doesn't." Spike took a deep breath and ran his hand over his hair to smooth it down. "Right then, Christmas cheer?"
"Christmas cheer." Buffy walked over to Spike and looped her arm with his. "Now let's go see if you were naughty or nice this year."
Spike leered at her as they walked out the door. "Oh baby, you know I've been nothing but naughty."
Yes, I know, there was another break in posts. Here's why—I've been working like crazy on trying to finish two of my other WIP's. This, however, does not mean I've been ignoring this fic. As it stood, I had five active stories in progress (I now have four). This made it increasingly more difficult for me to devote any amount of time to one story. So, I'm trying to whittle them down with marathon writing sessions. When I only have a couple of stories in progress, I can (hopefully) update those more and hey, maybe finally actually finish this story. In the meantime, however, I won't be putting this story on hiatus, and I will update when I can, though I can't promise on frequency for the time being. Just know that it is not forgotten, and that the breaks between posts right now are because I'm trying to make it so I have more time to devote to it so you won't have to wait so much in the future.
And of course, please review! Show me the love! (Or, y'know, the hate if you didn't like it...just don't be too mean, cause then I'll be sad.)