"God, it's good to be home," she said aloud as she set her luggage down by the kitchen table. "I know we were gone for only a few days, but it felt like forever."
"I'm sorry, luv."
Buffy turned to Spike, a look of confusion on her face. His tone didn't sound like one of empathy, but more like a genuine apology. "Sorry? For what?"
"For making you go," Spike replied. "You said we should stay home, and I should've listened to you. I just didn't realize how bitter Joyce really is about everything. I made you go, and I ruined your Christmas, and I'm sorry."
"Spike, honey," Buffy said softly as she crossed the room to him and took his hand in hers. "You didn't ruin anything. If I really hadn't wanted to go, I wouldn't have gotten on the plane no matter what. Hell, I wouldn't have even left the apartment. And I didn't know she was going to be that bad either. I thought sure, it would be tense, but I had this crazy notion in my head that she'd at least be civil."
"I still made it worse," Spike said. "She wouldn't have gotten as upset as she did if we hadn't been together."
"Then that's her problem," Buffy replied, her tone firm. "I'm with you, I love you, and if she can't handle that, then she has to deal. End of story. And I don't regret going. In a lot of ways, it's better now. Things between my mother and me were just festering, waiting for the point when it would all explode. Well, now it has, and honestly, it feels like there's been a weight lifted off my shoulders. I've gotten to say a lot of things that I've been holding in for years, and really, not talking to her is better than the way things were before. I was getting so tired of walking on eggshells where she's concerned."
"Still, Buffy…"
"No," Buffy said quickly, silencing Spike. "This is better. Besides, I got to reconnect with Giles and Dawn, spend time with them like I haven't in a while. That alone was worth the trip."
Spike seemed unconvinced. "I don't…"
Buffy put her finger against his lips. "Shh. We're home now. Let's just leave all that back in California, okay? It's been days since we've gotten to spend any real time alone together." She gave him a saucy grin and ran her hands down his chest, stopping at his belt to link her thumbs through the loops. "Doncha think there's better things we could be doing right now than worrying about all of that?"
Spike's concerned expression melted into a leer. Quickly, he picked Buffy up and hoisted her over his shoulder. She cried out in surprise, but didn't struggle as he carried her into the bedroom, perfectly content with his reaction. He tossed her down onto the bed and looked at her with darkened eyes. "It's been too long since I've been inside you."
"Actually, the last time was only yesterday morning, but I think you were asleep or something," Buffy said with a teasing smile.
Spike pulled his shirt off over his head. "Not asleep now."
Buffy's eyes traveled down the pale skin of his bare chest to the prominent bulge in his jeans. No, he definitely wasn't asleep at all. She licked her lips.
Spike's gaze as he looked at her in return was hungry, and he told her in a lust-filled voice, "Take off everything but your boots and your knickers, luv."
A shiver went up Buffy's spine at his order. She loved it when he was like this, so strong and sure of what he wanted. Spike never felt shame in his desire, never tried to suppress whatever fantasy came to his mind, and Buffy loved it. Being with him made her feel so free.
She did as he said, then laid back on the bed, presenting herself for him. Spike grinned slowly, then leaned against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. "Touch your breasts, Buffy."
Just the sound of the lust in his voice almost made her groan, and Buffy followed Spike's instructions, bringing her hands to her breasts. She massaged them slowly, periodically tugging on her nipples, all the while never breaking eye contact with Spike. The blue in his eyes was almost gone now, replaced nearly completely with the black of his pupils, and now, Buffy did moan. A flood of moisture seeped into her panties, and Buffy marveled at how much this man could make her want him without even touching her.
"Move one of your hands down beneath those pretty lil' panties of yours," Spike said, his voice even though his harsh breathing belied how close he was to losing control.
Buffy did as she said, her hand now splayed against her curls, barely hidden by the black lace of her underwear. "Now what do you want me to do for you, baby?" she asked, the question making Spike shiver.
"Push a finger inside your juicy lil' quim." She did, the movement obvious beneath the lace, and Spike smiled seductively. "Does it feel good, kitten?"
"Yes…" Buffy breathed as she pumped her finger in and out of her quivering pussy. Already she was desperate for him. "Spike…please…I need you."
"Do you?"
"Yes. I need you all the time, Spike. And, oh god, I need you now."
Spike waited only long enough to take off his boots and his jeans before he joined her on the bed. Buffy whimpered when he pulled her finger away, but moaned loudly when he slid her panties off her legs and filled her with his tongue. She bucked against him shamelessly, and Spike lapped at her, his eyes closing in an expression of ecstasy. The taste of her pleasure was something he never thought he could get enough of.
Suddenly, he surged up her body, capturing her mouth in a heated kiss. Buffy could taste herself on his lips and tongue, and it only served to make her want him more. She slid her hand between their bodies and grasped his hard cock, feeling it move against her palm. She guided him to her entrance and pushed the head inside before she pulled back to let him thrust in the rest of the way.
Spike moaned as he felt her velvet heat clamping around him, holding him tightly inside of her body. Every time with Buffy was like a shock to his system, the intense sensation of filling her something he could never grow accustomed to. He reached down and picked up her legs, then hooked them over his arms so he could drive in at a deeper angle. He shivered as he looked at her leather-encased calves, the sight one that never failed to enflame him. "You're so fucking gorgeous," Spike told her before he crashed his lips against hers again, kissing her hard as he started a steady pumping with his hips.
Buffy mewled into his mouth, her body thrusting up to meet his. The sex they'd had early on Christmas morning had taken the edge off, but she'd missed having this with him, this losing of herself in wild abandon. Spike turned her on like no other man she'd ever known, and every time with him was electric, his touch like fire against her needy skin. She could feel his cock pulsing inside of her with his every surge, and his hard chest was rubbing against her breasts, causing a delicious friction.
With a heady moan, she tore her lips away from him. "Spike…" she panted, her voice coated thick with desire. "Oh yeah…harder, baby, please. Do it harder."
Spike's eyes rolled back in his head as his hips ground harder into her, not a moment's hesitation when it came to giving into Buffy's heated cries. "You're so sexy like this, kitten," he told her, his breath hot against her ear. "Love how much you want me."
"I want you all the time. I can't get enough of you filling me." She followed her words with a whimper, and Spike could tell she was close. He moved her legs up higher, pushed himself in deeper, and Buffy's eyes grew wide, a gasp coming from her.
"That's it, baby," Spike said, his voice almost a purr. "Come on, sweetheart. Let go for me, Buffy. I wanna feel it when you come."
Buffy gasped again, louder this time, then cried out as she began to shake with orgasm. Spike's thrusts grew less steady, less measured, as he felt her come, and soon, he released inside of her with a shout, his orgasm coming on the tail of hers.
Both of them panting heavily as they tried to catch their breath, they collapsed together in a heap. Spike let her legs go, and they fell limp, her booted feet hitting the mattress with dull thuds. "God, it feels good to be home," Buffy said after a moment, a smile on her face.
Spike chuckled. "Bloody right it does."
Buffy sat up to take off her boots and then curled up next to Spike. As their bodies began to cool, the room felt chilled, and Spike pulled the blankets up over them. Buffy smiled as she snuggled closer to him, loving the feel of being bundled up like this with him. She felt safe, and warm, and loved—just like she wanted to be.
"Are you okay, pet?" Spike asked after a moment. "I mean, really okay?"
"Yeah, I am," Buffy told him. "Sure, I'd be lying if I said that everything that happened with my mother didn't upset me and yeah, I'm sad that that's the way things happened, but I'm okay. Honestly, this has been coming for years. Our relationship has never been a great one. When we lived in L.A. she was barely around, always going to some big function with Dad or doing something with her friends. And then when we got to Sunnydale, it really wasn't that much better, only then it was extended buying trips for the gallery. She'd be gone for days, and before Giles came along, it was just me and Dawn fending for ourselves. And then when everything started with Angel, our relationship got more and more strained."
Buffy was silent for a moment before she took a deep breath and spoke again. "She's my mother, but I don't really know her. We barely ever did anything together when I was growing up, and half the time when we did, it was just because she wanted to show someone what a dedicated mother she could be. It's not like she was a bad mother, she just wasn't really a great one either. When she was around, she'd do the mom things like take me shopping for back-to-school clothes or make me chicken soup when I was sick, but then there was also the drinking, and the yelling, and the fact that she can be just mean. My boyfriend died in my arms, and her response was to lock me away. I was scared and hurting, and she called me insane for it. How could I ever forgive her completely for even that alone?"
Spike tightened his grip on her. "I don't know, kitten. I wish I had an answer for you, I really do."
"I don't think some things have answers," Buffy replied. "But I have you—and you make me happy. I like the life we have here together, and if my mother won't do what it takes to find a place in the life I have now, then I don't need her in it. It would be nice, sure, if she stopped being a bitch long enough to just be happy that I'm happy, but I don't need her to do that to feel complete as a person or something like that. If anything, this trip showed me just how much it really is her problem. We're not estranged because I moved to New York. It's because she refuses to do anything but hold on to her anger and make everything between us turn into something negative. That's not something I need in my life, and I'm not suffering from the lack of it."
Spike brushed his hand over her hair, a gesture that never failed to soothe her. "As long as you're really happy, pet. You told your mum you weren't ever going to speak to her again. I don't want that to turn out to be something you regret later on down the road."
Buffy sighed. "I know. And in all honesty, can I say that if my mother broached the subject of reconciliation that I'd turn her down? No, probably not, not if I thought she was really sincere. I don't think we'll ever be a mother-daughter best friends team, but if she were willing to let it all go and at least have some sort of relationship, then I wouldn't refuse her. But I'm not going to be the one to make the first move. There's too much, and I just can't. I can't keep dealing with her judgmental crap. If she wants to rebuild a relationship with me where she can treat me decently, fine, but I don't see that happening anytime soon, and because of that, I'm cutting myself off. If that's a problem with her, she can do something about it. If not, well, I'm not going to keep suffering because of it. I've already wasted too much time and energy on her, and it's gotten me nowhere."
"Whatever you decide to do, pet, I support you."
"I know." Buffy kissed Spike's cheek. "That's one of the things I love most about you. You've always got my back."
"I do. 'S a nice view back there, too." He wiggled his eyebrows as he cupped her bottom.
Buffy rolled her eyes. "You are the biggest perv ever. Seriously. You're like a walking, talking hormone."
"And your point is what exactly?" Spike asked,
"That you're a perv."
"Uh huh. And I'm supposed to what, feel chagrined?"
Buffy snorted. "Yeah, like that would ever happen. You're not just a perv—you're a shameless perv."
Spike rolled them over so he was on top of her, propped up on his arms. "Complaining?"
Buffy gave him a wicked grin. "Hell no." She reached up and grabbed his face to pull him down for a passionate kiss.
So now they're finally back in New York. Still enjoying the story? Please review!