After three years of being busy almost all the time, it was strangely bothersome. Plenty of times she'd longed for a situation just like this one, and now that she had it, she was restless. What could she do to fill the hours of nothing?
Desperate to have something to keep her occupied, she turned to the boxes. She unpacked everything they had brought with them, but it didn't take nearly as long as she'd hoped. Neither she nor Spike had much to their name, and unpacking had been a breeze, especially since all the furniture was already in place.
She'd hoped having her things around would make the apartment look less empty and more homey, but it turned out to be the opposite. She didn't have enough to fill the empty spaces, and everything looked to her like it didn't belong where it was. Her things were all out of place, just like she was.
Buffy didn't regret coming here with Spike. She knew if she'd stayed in New York that she'd be a lot more miserable than she was right now. If she stayed, she'd be longing for him, aching from the loss of him. As it was, she was just homesick.
Which was, when she thought about it, a bit ironic since L.A. had been "home" fifteen years to New York's three.
But she'd created a life for herself in New York, distanced herself from the girl she'd been in California. When L.A. had been her home, she'd been a bubbly, blonde cheerleader, still untouched by true loss and heartache. She didn't even know that girl anymore. Buffy was young, only twenty-two, but already she felt as if she'd lived lifetimes.
So here she was, starting another one. Another place, another beginning. Only she didn't really know where she fit. Spike had so much he needed to do to get the album ready to hit the stores, not to mention the publicity and promotion that would go with it. This was only their first day here, and already he had a full schedule. What would she do while he was gone? She could get a job, but at the moment, she didn't really need one, and since they only had the one car—not that she could drive anyway, she realized with a frown—she wasn't sure she could get to one easily. Not in L.A. It was a sprawling, gotta have a car sort of town. Not like New York where not having a car was often the easiest way to go.
She supposed she should get to work on that license thing…
Would this be what she'd be doing for the next few months? Sitting alone in an empty apartment waiting for Spike to come home? If that were the case, she was going to have to take up drinking.
A knock at the door pulled Buffy out of her thoughts, and she jumped up without questioning the fact that she didn't really know anyone. It could be a Jehovah's Witness, and as bored as she was right now, she'd talk.
When she looked out the peephole and saw who it was, however, she practically began to bounce up and down. She opened the door quickly and threw her arms around the auburn-haired woman on the other side. "Mona!"
Mona chuckled in surprise. "Wow, I didn't think you'd be so excited to see me."
Buffy blushed a little as she pulled back. "Sorry. I was just feeling a little homesick this morning."
"I understand. I thought you might be lonely with Spike gone all day, so I came over to check up on you." Mona smiled crookedly. "Rory abandoned me a day after dragging me all the way across the country, too."
Buffy giggled. "One of the many joys of dating musicians."
"Oh yeah. One of those," Mona replied with a roll of her eyes. "Do you mind if I come in?"
"Oh right, sorry," Buffy said, blushing slightly again. "I didn't mean to be rude. Come on in." She stepped back to let Mona though the doorway.
"It's all right. It's not like you were anything but welcoming." Mona stepped inside and glanced around. "Nice place. And are you honestly unpacked already? That's sickening, you know."
"We didn't have much to unpack," Buffy said. "And I was really, really bored."
"It'll take us forever. We'll still have boxes stashed places months from now. Rory is such a packrat anyway. I think he was sneaking things out of the trash that I was trying to get rid of when we were moving."
Buffy smirked. When she'd first met Rory and Mona, it had surprised her that they'd been together as long as they had, since they seemed to spend more time arguing that anything else. Then, she'd realized it wasn't arguing at all. It was teasing, flirting, and they were as in love as any couple she'd ever known before. Mona harassed Rory about almost everything he did, but he never seemed upset about it. Quite the contrary, really. He said she was the only woman in the world capable of keeping him in line, and he was damn grateful for it.
He'd also asked her to marry him every day for five years, and whether or not she'd ever say yes was something Mona alone knew the answer to.
Mona went into the living room, looking around without commenting, though from the look on her face she seemed to approve. After a few moments, she turned to Buffy again. "Aren't you from L.A.?"
"Yeah, though I haven't lived here for a while," Buffy replied. "We left when I was fifteen."
"Eh, that's old enough to remember things. You can be my tour guide."
"I don't know about that," Buffy said, shaking her head. "I haven't been back in years, and I don't…"
"You know the city better than I do, I'm sure," Mona said, cutting her off. "Come on, let's go get lunch, maybe do some shopping." She winked. "We can use Rory's credit card. I balance his checkbook and pay his bills for him every month, so he never notices anyway."
Buffy couldn't help but laugh. And what Mona was offering was rather tempting. She didn't know this section of Los Angeles all that well, but learning it had to be better than sitting around the apartment all day missing New York. "All right. Just let me get my purse."
Buffy felt decidedly more relaxed once she was out with Mona. She wasn't sure if it was because the other woman reminded her of New York or because of the natural calming presence she had—or maybe a little bit of both. Whatever it was, Buffy felt much of the tension she'd been feeling since they'd arrived in Los Angeles draining from her as she sat outside with Mona, enjoying lunch outside of a café.
"I never really pictured myself on the West Coast," Mona said as she looked around, taking in the L.A. scenery. "New York girl, born and bred, y'know?"
"What made you decide you'd come out?" Buffy asked, then took a sip of her iced tea.
"You think I'd send Rory out here on his own? Ha! Lord only knows what would happen to the man. Someone's got to keep an eye on him."
"So you'd miss him, huh?"
Mona smiled. "You're a smart one, Buffy. And yeah, I would. Just don't, y'know, tell him. I'd never hear the end of it."
"I wasn't sure at first, if I'd come," Buffy admitted.
"I don't think I need to ask why you did, the way you and that boy of yours are always joined at the lips. But what made you question it?"
Under the table, Buffy was twisting her napkin. "A lot of things."
When she gave that answer, Buffy had been planning to leave it at that. But then for some reason, she wasn't leaving it there. She found herself spilling everything, from her unhappy last few years in L.A. with her parents' divorce, to Angel, to the situation between her and her mother now. Through it all, Mona listened, periodically reaching out to pat Buffy's arm when she seemed to have trouble going on.
"California holds a lot of bad memories for you then," Mona said once Buffy was done.
Buffy nodded. "There were practical reasons for staying in New York, like school and my job, but…"
"It was the fear that made you question the move the most."
"Yeah. I left here to get away."
"And you did," Mona told her. "L.A., California, they aren't your bad memories, Buffy—they're just places, really. All that pain and sadness lived inside of you. If you could work your way through it in New York, then it's not going to come back just because you're here again. The things that helped you move past it—your own inner strength, your love for Spike—they came back to California with you. If anything, this has the potential to make you even stronger, because you'll see that you don't have to physically run to put your past behind you."
Buffy blinked, taking in what Mona had just told her. She hadn't thought about things in that way before, and now that she was, it made sense. She'd spent so much time fearing coming back when really, there wasn't anything here at all to get her—as long as she avoided Sunnydale, that was. She hadn't exactly been happy in New York either before Spike, and he had been what had helped her get through the pain of her past. Spike was what was good in her life, and Spike was in L.A.
Los Angeles had been the site of some of her most painful memories. It was there that her parents separated and her home was torn apart. It was there that she held Angel while he died in her arms. But the city itself hadn't been the cause of any of that, and she was here for reasons now completely unrelated to it being her old hometown or the place where she had planned her life with Angel. They weren't even in the area where she'd grown up, and in a city the size of L.A., that meant they might as well be in another city entirely.
"Thank you," Buffy said with a genuine smile. "You really helped me put some things into perspective."
"I'm glad. Us musicians' women gotta stick together, don't we?"
"Yeah," Buffy replied, laughing. "There's no one else out there who can quite understand our pain."
Mona laughed back. "Isn't that the truth!" She quieted for a moment and grinned. "But I think we got ourselves a couple of good ones."
"You know, I think maybe we did."
Spike walked into the apartment, stopping for a moment when he realized Buffy had been doing a little bit of decorating. He could hear noise from the kitchen, and the smell of food filled the air. "You didn't cook, did you?" he called out to her as he closed the front door.
"No! I didn't want to be cruel. It's take-out!" Buffy called back.
Spike breathed a sigh of relief and went into the kitchen to find Buffy. She was humming to herself as she took out Chinese food, and Spike smiled at how adorable she was. "You're in a better mood than when I left, luv."
"Yup. Mona came by, and we had lunch. It was nice. She brightened me right up."
"Rory said she'd planned on that. I'm glad. I was worried about you being alone here all day."
"I was only alone for the morning," Buffy said. "So how was your day, honey?"
"Long. Boring." Spike grinned at her and wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her close. "Getting better, though."
"Did you miss me?"
"Every second." Spike emphasized his point with a slow, deep kiss.
Buffy relaxed in his arms, relishing the taste of him. Maybe the move to L.A. would turn out all right after all.
Well, I managed to get two posts in this week like I said I would. Hopefully, I'll be able to do the same thing next week as well!
Please take a moment to review.