On the one hand, Buffy was glad to know Spike had moved on. The last thing she wanted was for Spike to keep suffering over losing her instead of having the good life she'd set him free to live.
On the other, when she couldn't even as much as stand in the check-out line at the grocery store without having the love of her life's current relationship thrown in her face, things were difficult.
Spike's recently-begun relationship with actress Eve Hart had become all the rage in Hollywood gossip, making it very difficult for Buffy to ignore the painful reminders that Spike was no longer hers. Even after all the years since she'd last seen him, memories of Spike and what she'd lost still cut deeply, sometimes still even driving her to tears. It had been especially difficult when the first album had shot Spike into superstardom almost overnight and made it as if he was still surrounding her, something reminding her of what she'd lost at every turn. For months, she hadn't even been able to turn on the radio, the same song that had driven her from the studio suddenly taunting her constantly.
Then, things had reached a lull for a while, and although Spike had not completely left the eye media by any means, he hadn't been quite such a focus, and she'd been able to find some relief.
Until the second album was finally ready to be released. There'd been some delay, something about a problem with management, Buffy had heard, though she hadn't paid enough attention to know exactly what, but now the album was days away from hitting the store shelves and the band was caught up in a media frenzy.
With their lead singer and his new love interest right at the center of it all.
"Uh, are you going to buy that stuff or not, 'cause there's a line behind you."
Buffy looked up quickly at the cashier. "Oh, sorry. I got, um, distracted for a moment by the magazines," she admitted with a slight blush as she emptied the contents of her basket onto the conveyor belt.
"I don't blame you for that one bit," the woman behind her in line teased. "That Spike guy is pretty yummy. You should check out the latest issue of Ok! He just spent a week off somewhere tropical with that Eve Hart, and there's lots of nice ones of him out on the beach. Boy, does that man know how to keep in shape."
Buffy smiled even though she was really wishing the ground would simply open up and swallow her. "Yeah, he does," she said, thinking of just how intimately she truly knew his well-formed body.
"That's gonna be twelve seventy-nine," the cashier said, pulling Buffy's attention back to her shopping.
Buffy reached into her pocket and pulled out a twenty, then handed it to the cashier and waited for her change. When she had that and her receipt, she gave the woman next in line a quick smile before grabbing her bag and heading out of the store and into the parking lot.
When she got to her car, Buffy had to sit for a moment, taking deep breaths to calm herself. It was so tempting to start ordering all of her groceries online… They had those no-candy aisles for parents who didn't want their children tempted—couldn't they have a no-tabloid aisle for people who didn't want to have to see their now-famous ex-boyfriends with a gorgeous actress draped all over them?
Really, she didn't think it would be too much to ask.
She took one more deep breath, running her hands through her long, blonde hair as she did before picking her keys up from her lap and sticking them into the ignition. She didn't have time for a breakdown now—it was Monday morning, and she had to get to work.
Buffy started the car and fought to push Spike back out of the front of her mind.
"Someone's got an admirer…" Buffy heard as soon as she walked into work. She turned towards Kathy at the front desk and realized she was the person the receptionist talking to.
"Me? What are you talking about?" Buffy asked.
"Go in your office and look," Kathy replied with a smile Buffy had always found more than a little annoying.
Buffy did go into her office, and she gasped at the sight of a dozen red roses in a glass vase on her desk. She plucked the card from the bouquet and read it.
Thanks for a wonderful time Saturday night.
—R.
With a sigh, she dropped the card onto her desk and walked out, going down the hall to the last door on the left and knocking. At the response of, "Come in!" she walked inside and shut the door back behind her.
"You know, this whole thing isn't going to stay a secret for very long if you keep sending me flowers," Buffy said, her hands planted on her hips.
From behind his desk, Robin Wood leaned back in his chair. "I put them in there when no one else was here yet," he replied. "Besides, Buffy, there's not a district policy that says the principal can't date a guidance counselor. The only way it would be a problem is if we decided to get married, and then one of us would have to switch schools. I don't know why you want to be so secretive about everything anyway."
"I don't want to be gossip," Buffy said.
Robin leaned forward again, meeting her eyes as he did. "And what if we take things past the couple of dates we've been on, Buffy?" he asked. "I really like you, and honestly, I'm hoping this can turn into something more."
"Then we'll be gossip-worthy," Buffy replied. She sighed. "It's not that I don't like you, Robin, because I do. It's just I've only been here for a semester, and I don't want things to get all awkward. Can you let this just stay between us for a little while longer? Please?"
Robin frowned for a moment before he smiled at her. "All right. I can do that."
Buffy smiled back. "Thank you." She turned to leave, then stopped with her hand on the door and looked over her shoulder at him. "And thanks for the flowers, too. They're beautiful."
"You're welcome," Robin told her, his grin widening as Buffy walked out of his office.
Buffy hadn't been working as a high school guidance counselor for long before she discovered another downside of being the ex-girlfriend of a famous, drool-worthy musician—teenaged girls were big fans of ripping pictures out of magazines and sticking them everywhere. She could barely go down the hallway without seeing Spike's face posted in someone's locker.
And then there were the notebooks. Buffy thought those ones with the clear sleeve fronts should be outlawed, especially now as Spike looked up at her from one with his damn tongue curled. Maybe she could confiscate it by deeming it inappropriate for school. She'd always said that look was damn near close to porn…
"Um, Miss Summers, what do you think I should do?"
Buffy's eyes widened as she realized the girl across from her had been talking and she hadn't heard a word of it. Crap… "Well, what do you want to do, Amanda?" she asked, clasping her hands in front of her as she mentally congratulated herself on a good save.
"I don't know. I mean, sometimes, when he picks on me I want to hit him real hard, right in the face. But sometimes, I want to kiss him. It's confusing."
Well, that was something Buffy knew she could relate to… "Boys are always confusing like that," Buffy told the girl. "It's like something programmed into those Y-chromosomes of theirs."
"So what should I do then?" Amanda asked.
"It all depends on how much you're willing to deal with," Buffy replied. "If you make the first move, there's a chance he'll like you back, but there's also the chance you'll have to deal with rejection—which is never easy. And then even if he does like you back and you do start a relationship, that can all end badly, too. Relationships are hard work, especially when you add them to trying to deal with school and all of that. And boys, well, with all of their annoyingness, they can really sweep you away, too. I mean, one minute you're determined to avoid them and all those possibilities for heartache, and the next you're staring into those gorgeous blue eyes and believing beyond a shadow of a doubt that this time, it'll actually be different, even when you know it's all going to come crashing down and you'll be miserable all over again."
Amanda blinked. "Um, his eyes are brown…"
"Uh, right. Those were, um, metaphorical blue eyes."
"So you're saying I shouldn't ask him out?"
"I'm saying you should weigh all the possibilities and decide if he's really worth the time—and risk—that comes with being in a relationship."
"That's the part I don't know," Amanda said with a frown. "I mean, sometimes, I think I totally hate him, but then other times, I feel like if I don't finally kiss him, I'm just going to die. Is that weird?"
Buffy shook her head. "Scarily enough, no, it isn't. There's something about love—it makes you go crazy."
Amanda smiled slightly. "That's good to hear. I was starting to think I might need to be medicated or something."
"No, you're all normal," Buffy replied with a chuckle. "Welcome to the wonderful world of hormones."
"You're way cooler than the other guidance counselors," Amanda said, her smile growing. "You talk to me like I'm a real person, and not just some dumb kid. None of the other adults around here do that—I like it."
"Thank you," Buffy said, smiling back. "I remember what it's like to be a teenager, how hard it is when you think no one around understands you. I want all of you guys to know there is someone around who understands—as I serve as a living testament to the fact that it is actually possible to survive your teen years intact."
Amanda laughed. "I appreciate it. And I know a lot of the other students do, too. You're our favorite grown-up on campus, you know."
"Well, I have an unfair advantage. I don't give you grades, and when you come to my office, it's to talk all about yourselves," Buffy teased, though Amanda's words had touched her deeply. She wanted to give these kids what she hadn't had when she was their age and hopefully prevent them from knowing the same sort of pain and loneliness she had. It's why she'd chosen to go into school counseling even when several of her professors and classmates had told her she was insane and should go into private practice instead. For one thing, she'd never make the sort of money she could there in a high school.
But Buffy didn't care about the money. Sure, it would be nice if she could afford a few more luxuries, but she weighed that against the benefits she got from genuinely helping people and knew what she wanted to do.
"Still, we like you better than the other guidance counselors, too," Amanda insisted. "For one thing, the first question out of your mouth when we come in isn't, 'What do you want to do with you life?'" She rolled her eyes. "Like I know the answer to that at fifteen."
"You have plenty of time to figure that out," Buffy told her. "I certainly didn't know in high school. It took living in the real world for a little bit first in order to figure it out."
"I keep trying to tell my parents that, but my mom thinks I should already be working on becoming a lawyer," Amanda muttered.
"Well, here's what you do about that," Buffy told her, leaning forward in her chair. "We have second-semester activity sign-ups starting soon. Sign up for the mock trial club, see how you like it. Maybe your mom is wrong, and being a lawyer isn't for you at all—but you won't know until you try it on for a bit. For all you know, you could discover being up in a courtroom is your passion, and you'll love it. Or, you won't, but if you go ahead and test it now before your decisions about things like this really make that big of a difference in the long run, it'll be no harm, no foul. Catch my drift?"
Amanda's smile returned. "Yeah, I do. That does make sense. And hey, if I'm in mock trial for a little while, at least it'll keep my mom off my back."
"There ya go," Buffy said. "Give a little and get a little. And if you don't like it, at least you can say you gave it a try when your mother brings it up. It gives you a little more room there, you know?"
"Yep. Wow, you're like, all kinds of helpful." The bell rang loudly then, and Amanda jumped up. "Ooh, that's my lunch bell. Thanks, Miss Summers!"
"You're welcome," Buffy called after the girl as Amanda ran out of the office.
Buffy leaned back in her chair, a smile on her face. Maybe her love life wasn't exactly on the track she wanted it to be on, but at least she was good at her job—even if all of the students probably weren't as enthusiastic about her as Amanda seemed to be, Buffy knew she was making a difference, and she could feel good about that.
Her attention turned back to her desk, and she realized with a frown Amanda had left her notebook. Her gorgeous, sexy notebook… Buffy shook her head, then picked it up, turning it over so Spike was no longer staring up at her as she left her office to find Amanda and return the binder.
I know I made a big time jump, but did anyone really want to read about them being apart with no contact at all for an extended period of time? I didn't think so…
As for people asking how many chapters are left, I don't know. I don't really think in terms of chapters—the story's over when I've told all I want to tell. I've written up through fifty-two, and the story's not finished there, so it's going to be a while. Beyond that, I really can't tell you exactly how long it's going to be.
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