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Chapter 9


After a few minutes, Buffy tried to get herself under control. Her tears
began to fade, and she slowly realized where she was and who she was with.
Stepping out of Spike’s comforting embrace, Buffy put some distance between
them.

“What’s going on, luv?”

Buffy wiped the tears from her face, avoiding his eyes. “I’ve just…I’ve
just been having more dreams.”

Spike took a step forward. “From the night you died?”

Buffy shook her head. “You,” she whispered, feeling the tears begin to fall
once again.

“Me?” Spike asked in confusion.

Buffy nodded. “The things I…memories…things I said to you…”

Spike’s eyes widened in comprehension, his mouth opening slightly, as Buffy
looked at him with a tear-streaked face. “What memories, luv?” he asked
quietly.

Buffy took a long time to answer, taking a deep breath before she did.
“Sometimes we were walking, and I was just…I was constantly berating you.
The worst was…was…”

Spike stepped closer to her, tenderly tilting her chin up to face him. “Was
what?”

Buffy took a shaky breath as she stared into his eyes. “We were in an
alley…I told you that…”

“That I was beneath you?” he asked softly.

Buffy nodded, trying to put more distance between them, but Spike was too
quick for her. Pulling her back into his arms, he held her tight as she
tried to get away from him.

“No, Spike. How can you want to be around me? I was horrible to you! How
can you not hate me?”

Spike buried his face in her hair, holding the back of her neck and
tentatively rubbing it as her breathing slowed. “I don’t hate you, Buffy.
I can’t,” he whispered. “I’ve tried, and I just can’t.”

Buffy took a step back to look at him, seeing the same emotions she was
feeling mirrored in his eyes. “I don’t want to turn into her, Spike,” she
said quietly. “I never want to treat you that way.”

Spike offered her a slight smile, gently tucking a piece of hair behind her
ear. “I fell in love with you in spite of that.”

Buffy stared at him with shimmering eyes. “You love me?”

Spike seemed to realize his mistake as he quickly averted his eyes, taking a
step toward the doorway. “We should get going, pet. Everyone is worried
about you.”

“Spike-“

“Buffy…don’t,” Spike said, never turning to face her. “It’s not important,
so just…it’s not important.”

“It is,” she whispered. “What if I feel the same way?”

Spike felt his heart swell and drop at the same time. This wasn’t his Buffy
saying these words. “Listen, pet…we’ll talk more when you get more of your
memories back.”

“Alright,” she said softly as she followed him out into the cool night air.
“But I’m holding you to that.”

* * * * *

Cordelia and Fred both ran toward Buffy as she entered the hotel.

“Buffy, where were you?” Cordelia asked.

“We were so worried,” Fred added.

“I’m sorry. I just got some memories back that I didn’t know how to deal
with.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Fred asked.

“No, I think I’ll be okay,” Buffy said, shooting a nervous glance at Spike.
He offered her a tender smile of reassurance, setting her mind at ease.

“I think, maybe I’ll just go up to my room, if that’s okay.”

“Sure,” Cordy said. “I’ll check on you later.”

“Thanks,” Buffy said, offering a grateful smile as she began walking up the
stairs.

Entering her room, Buffy dropped down on the floor next to her bed with a
thud. She did feel a little bit better, but she was still trying to come to
terms with who she once was. Hearing a light knock on the door, Buffy
quickly wiped her damp eyes. “Come in.”

Spike opened the door slightly and caught sight of Buffy on the floor.
“You okay, pet?”

“I’ll be okay.”

Spike nodded. “I just thought I’d check on you before I head out.”

“You’re going somewhere?”

“Just patrolling. I haven’t been out as much as I’d like lately.”

“Oh,” Buffy mumbled, glancing down at her hands.

Spike sighed. “Do you want to come with me?”

Buffy hesitated, not sure if she wanted to be in such close proximity with a
man she had obviously hurt years ago.

“Buffy, you’re going to have to get used to working with me. I’m here to
stay, pet. And you are, too, if I have anything to say about it.”

Buffy seemed to think about it for a minute before nodding. “I guess if I
used to be the Slayer, I need some practice, don’t I?”

Spike’s mind flashed to the prophecy that hadn’t been deciphered. It would
be better if Buffy started getting back in the mindset of a Slayer. Even
though the last thing that Spike wanted was to lose the fragile relationship
he had with her now, it could help to keep her alive. “It couldn’t hurt.”
Buffy gave him a smile as she stood up and followed him out of the room,
jumping slightly when Spike spun around to face her again. “But you stay
close to me at all times, understand?”

Buffy nodded, staying quiet as they walked out of the hotel.





A/N Just a quick thank you to everyone who has voted for any of my stories on Spuffy Fantasy for Fic of the Week. Once in a Lifetime Love is currently first and it means a lot that so many people liked it!





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