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A/N This is just a connector chapter to propel the rest of the story, but I hope you like it.


Chapter 17 – Understanding


“Dawnie!” Buffy squealed as the front door opened, revealing her sister.

“Buffy!” Dawn cried with as much excitement as they jumped into each
other’s arms.

The girls held each other for several long minutes before reluctantly
pulling away. Dawn turned to give Spike a hug as Buffy slowly entered the
house. Dawn and her family were still living in the house on Revello, and it
looked almost identical to the way it had looked seventeen years ago. New
furniture, new pictures, but the feeling was still the same. It still felt
like home.

“So, where’s my nieces?” Buffy asked, picking up a picture of Dawn with
three girls, each very similar, one looking decidedly like Buffy, and the
others seemed to take after Dawn.

“They went out with RJ,” Dawn said with a smile as she pointed out a picture
on the wall. Buffy gasped as she looked at it. Dawn was in a beautiful
wedding dress, standing next to a handsome man in a tux. “I wanted to see
you alone before the little rugrats come back,” Dawn said affectionately.

“What did you tell him?” Buffy asked, turning to face her sister with a
worried look on her face as Spike sat on the couch.

“The truth,” Dawn said bluntly, shrugging her shoulders. “We live on the
Hellmouth- I didn’t see any reason to lie to him when we got engaged, so
he’s used to strange occurrences.”

“That’s good,” Buffy said with a smile. “I’m happy you found someone you
can be honest with. What about the girls?”

“They’re still young,” Dawn said, picking up a picture. “We told them
you’re my sister, but as far as they're concerned, you’re my younger sister.”

Buffy nodded as she went over to stand next to Dawn. “Which one’s which?”
she asked. “Spike told me names, but I need to put them with faces now.”

“This one is Joyce, she’s three,” Dawn said as Buffy gave a soft smile when
she pointed to the little girl who looked a lot like Buffy. “This is
Summer, she’s five.”

Buffy turned to face Dawn with a bright smile. “As in ‘Summers’?” she
asked.

“I’m keeping it all in the family,” Dawn said with a firm nod as she turned
her attention back to the picture. “This is Bethany…but we call her Buffy.”

Buffy turned shocked eyes to her sister. “After me?” she asked in
disbelief.

“Spike didn’t tell you?” Dawn asked, shooting the blonde a look as he
shrugged.

“He said her name was Bethany, but I never thought…”

“Buffy, you died to save me,” Dawn said quietly. “It was the very least I
could do.”

“How old is she?” Buffy asked, looking at the brown-haired girl with emerald
eyes.

“Eight,” Dawn replied softly.

“They’re beautiful, Dawnie,” Buffy whispered.

* * * * *

Two hours later, Buffy and Dawn were still talking and filling each other in
on what their lives had been like in the past seventeen years. “Your
birthday is in a few days,” Dawn said softly.

“No, it’s not it’s…oh…that birthday. It’s so weird- it’s like it should be
my deathday or something,” Buffy said with a smile.

Dawn was about to reply when the door opened and three pintsized blurs flew
through the room. “No running in the house!” Dawn called as they slowed
down when they reached the living room.

“Uncle Spike!” squealed three small voices as they charged the vampire.

Spike chuckled as he was tackled to the couch as all three began to vie for
hugs and attention.

“You stayed away too long.”

“Why didn’t you come visit when you said you would?”

“Did you bring me anything?”

Buffy laughed softly as he was assaulted with the questions. Before he got
a chance to answer, all eyes turned to Buffy as the girls slowly got up and walked
toward her.

The oldest one looked at her critically before smiling. “I’m named after
you.”

“Yes, you are,” Buffy said softly.

“You’re pretty,” Summer spoke up with a grin.

“Thank you,” Buffy replied. “You are, too.”

The three girls beamed as Dawn led an attractive man over to Buffy. “RJ,
this is my sister Buffy. Buffy, this is RJ.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Buffy said as she shook the man’s hand.

“I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“All good, I hope,” Buffy said with a smile.

“Most of it,” RJ said with a nod as he slipped an arm around Dawn’s waist.
“A lot of it was very strange.”

“I’ll bet,” Buffy said with a laugh before looking around the room. “Where
did Spike go?”

RJ and Dawn looked around. “I don’t know,” he said. “He said hello, and
then I think he went outside for a smoke.”

“I’ll be right back,” Buffy said, heading for the door.

“Hey,” she said softly, closing the door behind her as she wrapped her arms
around her body against the chill in the air. She could see the cloud of
smoke rising into the sky as Spike stared out into the night, his back
turned to her. “You know those things will kill you,” she said with a
smile.

“Ha bloody ha, Slayer.”

“What’s wrong?” Buffy asked in concern as she walked up to him.

“Nothing,” he grumbled, throwing his cigarette to the ground as he stubbed
it out with his boot.

“Tell me,” she said softly.

“I’m just thinking, luv.”

“Spike.” She gently turned him to face her. “You’re scaring me.”

Spike sighed. “I’m being selfish.”

“What?”

“You deserve this, Buffy,” he said quietly as he gestured toward the house.
“The family, the kids, you deserve it all…not stuck in the dark with me.”

“No,” Buffy said forcefully as she shook her head, fear ripping through her. “You’re not going to do
this, Spike. You’re not going to pull an Angel and run away on me just
because you think it’s for my own good!”

Buffy turned away as tears came to her eyes. She couldn’t believe this was
happening again. Did she have some kind of curse? She wasn’t allowed to be
happy after waiting for so long?

She barely registered when Spike’s arms went around her to pull her against
his strong body. Wrapping his arms around her in a crushing hold as he
buried his face in her neck, he gently kissed her shoulder as she let her
tears fall. “I’m sorry, baby,” he whispered, nuzzling his faded bite mark.
“I wasn’t thinking.”

“No, you weren’t,” Buffy said with a sniffle. “And I’m not letting you do
it,” she continued more forcefully. “I let Angel leave. I’m not doing the
same thing again.” Buffy turned around in his arms, looking at him through
shimmering eyes. “I can’t live without you, Spike.”

Spike slowly leaned forward, capturing her lips in a tender kiss. “I love
you, Buffy,” he whispered against her lips.

“I love you, too,” she said with a smile as she touched her forehead to his.
“We’ll get through this, Spike. We’ll get through it, and we’ll be
together.”





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